GoldFinger
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Ch. 244 - 23&Me
🕑 Added 2022-05-21 07:06:13 +0000 UTC"Not like I can stop you." He scoffed.
"Consider this John. You're walking along the street. Just your average suburban street. Kids are playing happily in their lawns, riding bicycles around the curb.
That one retiree, veteran perhaps, sitting on his porch drinking cofee and reading the morning paper.
You walk by and wave hi. He waves back. It's nice.
Idyllic, picturesque perfection. A good place. A good life. And you're walking along with your wife.
When suddenly you see in the distance, a monkey. Chimpanzee for example, closest relative to us humans in the ape family.
And he's got a gun. His finger is on the trigerr amd he's just shooting it.
Everywhere."
"What are you talking about?" He asked.
"Just hear me out will you?" I admonished him.
"Imagine it. A monkey with an AR-15. He shooting the place up. Right?
And the thing here is, the monkey. He's not doing this on purpose, to kill anyone. He doesn't even know he's shooting people. Someone just gave him the gun and threw him out into the world.
So now this monkey, he sees people keeling over, after they get shot. And he isn't thinking, 'Ah! I killed them.'
He's a monkey. He doesn't know.
What he thinks when he sees those people falling down on their knees, clutching their stomachs, is that they're bowing down to him. Out of respect. A supplication gesture. Chimpanzees do it. Humans do it too. That's why we kneel before figures of authority. Or used to at least. It's hardcoded into our genome.
But that's neither here nor there.
So this monkey, he's walking down the street towards you and your wife, unknowingly hurting innocent people.
Kids are on the street, bleeding to death. And you're standing right there, before this monkey who has a weapon, a tool he doesn't know anything about, but is still using it. Taking away people's freedom to live. To choose their fate on their own.
Tell me John, what would you do in this situation?
Kill the monkey? Why?
It's innocent. The monkey didn't go to a store and buy the gun thinking, 'Today is a food day to mow down some kids.'
The monkey doesn't even know it's doing something wrong. But people are getting hurt. They have something precious taken away from them. Their freedom to live.
So make a decision, John. What would you do in that case?"
"This is nonsense. What is the point of all this?" He asked.
"Just answer the question, John. Straight and simple. It's a moral quandary. And you claim to run on a platform of goodness and niceness and all things right and just. Tell me how you would deal with the situation." I replied calmly.
"I would call the authorities. And try to stop it myself in the meantime to prevent more innocents getting hurt. And once it was contained, and sent to a zoo or a sanctuary, I would look for whoever gave the gun. Start an investigation." He suggested.
"Exactly. Which is what I did. And take a guess what I found."
"Wait, wasn't this a hypothetical situation?" He looked at me confused.
"Oh it's real alright. I just showed you magic is real and you have trouble believing this?"
"You know what... nevermind. I'm guessing you're about to tell me?"
"Of course. That's why I'm here." I smiled, "You're learning. Which bears good for your future, little gun monkey."
"Wait, I'm the mon-"
"Atatatat! No spoilers. Let's me finish this tale first."
I reached into the bag and pulled out a series of newspapers dated to the 1970s. Specifically, 1976.
"So you see, I did my investigation. Looked into stuff and here's what I found.
1976. Early January. One little witch is having the time of her life. Dping magic, making friends. She has the perfect life. She's happy.
She sees the war, the suffering. She sees her country headed in the wrong direction.
And she wants everyone else to be happy too. So she digs up this ancient summoning ritual. It's her and her friends' big plan.
Summon a god to help humanity. Simple enough.
Do the prayer ritual, summon Persephone, Our Lady Underground and ask her to save humanity from it's vices and problems.
So what the ritual does is that it goes up to the door of the underworld and knocks.
Now ideally, Persephone, being the lady of the house, would answer the door. But that day, she wasn't home or maybe she wasn't willing to answer.
A million and one reasons.
She didn't answer. But this little witch and her friends kept knocking.
So someone else answered.
An evil, trickster god. Reynard The Fox.
Son of Persephone.
The god of goat herding. Trickster of the faithful, kind hearted and exceptionally stupid.
He came up from the underworld, and initiated a bloodbath. Killed the men. Raped the women. One of whom, the little witch got pregnant.
Now being pregnant with the son of an evil god.... it's not a pleasant thing. Especially with her being brutalized.
The worst thing though, was her guilt. She had unleashed an evil god onto the world. And now, on the daily she saw reports. Men murdered, their hearts torn out and eaten. Women raped to death.
It bore down on her. Tore her to shreds. She wanted to do something. It was her fault after all. So she dug deep once more and found a spell. A banishing spell.
And she needed power. A lot of power. So she waited for the day her demigod son was born. October 1976. She goes into labor, and the birth of her demigod son, releases a wave of magic so strong she could finally use the spell and banish Reynard to the underworld with her own blood." I pointed at the newspapers.
"Waves of natural disasters rippling down the Americas as an aftereffect of the banishing of a god. October 1976.
All that sacrifice worked. She gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Reynard was banished from Earth, never to be seen again.
World saved, guilt assuaged.
Then there was only one thing left to do.
She wanted to keep her beloved little boy safe. Safe from all those who would want him, use him and his massive magical capacity for their own gain. She wanted to hide him away from the life she lived and the mistakes she had made. So she went to an adoption center. Handed her baby boy to a nurse and cast a spell to make sure he would be safe and get to a good, loving home.
Coincidentally, another couple was there. A childless couple looking to adopt.
One Spencer Gaines and his wife."
"What bullshit is this? You expect me to believe this...this drivel?" He fumed.
"I don't expect you to believe shit, John." I said, using my favourite bullshit no jutsu, "I am here for one reason. I was walking down the street one day and I happened to pass by one of your rallys. I figured hey, let's see what this guy's all about. And so I stopped to listen. When suddenly, I feel a massive surge of magic pummel into my mental wards.
Someone was trying to mind control me, brainwash me.
So I looked around and found no one. Until I looked up and what do I see.
John Spencer Gaines. Putting out more magic with every breath than all magicians on earth combined. Unknowingly brainwashing people into believing in your platform. Mind controlling them.
So do try to understand why I was a bit concerned.
See you are the monkey with the gun. You have immense magical power. So much in fact that the world warps around you to your benefit. Nothing ever goes wrong in your perfect life. Not any more than you want or need it to. Everything is yours for the taking and you win at eveything you do."
"What are you saying? Nothing ever goes wrong? My parents died in a car accident the day I turned 18!" He cried out.
"And left you what? 20 million?" I shrugged.
"Are you saying I did some kind of magic spell to kill my parents for money?" He growled, his eyes glowing.
"No. I'm saying that your magic power warped reality against your will in a way that it would benefit you.
The same way you mind control people without wanting to. You're a good man, John. I know that."
"I'm not going to stand here and take this..." He said but I cut him off.
"Tell me John. Have you ever gotten sick? Hurt? A fever, cold, cough. Scraped knee or paper cut or even a bruise?" He thought it over as his frown deepened.
"Have you ever felt emotional pain even? One that didn't cause you to grow into a better person? Initiate character growth necessary for the next stage of your life?"
"No..." He whispered, his worldview crumbling before his very eyes.
I pushed on regardless.
No point in stopping halfway.
I want to break him completely.
"Have you ever failed at anything in your life?"
"It took me three months to pass the most boring farm bill in history." He argued weakly.
I leaned forward, coming closer to him.
"But it got passed right? Tell me, has any bill you sponsored ever not gotten passed?" His eyes flickered with worry and realization.
"Do you know the odds of that John?"
"Close to none." He replied.
"Exactly. Nigh about zero. Not even FDR and Washington had that much power. And you're no Washington, John, are you?"
He sta back in his chair, and buried his face in his hands.
"What have I done....?" He whispered.
"Has my life been a complete lie? A carefully scripted game of destiny?" He asked, tears pooling at the edge of his eyes.
He sniffled and wiped them on his sleeve.
Oh yeah. There comes the Truman Show moment.
"Probably." I replied, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"Even my wife....not my wife. Not Cindy." He said resolute.
"It's okay, John. Take your time. It's not easy, coming to terms with it. Maybe your wife really does love you. Maybe you didn't mind control her." I assured him, lining up the one-two punch.
"There's an easy way to check."
"What?" He asked, looking me in the eyes.
"Go home today. Look her in the eyes. And focus on your power. Then tell her to do something she wouldn't normally do.
Say it firmly, like an order. Be sure of yourself. And see if she does it. If she doesn't... you'll know you never mind controlled her. That she truly loves you for you."
He nodded, but his eyes betrayed his troubled conscience.
"And if she does...?" He asked softly, as if he didn't truly want me to answer it.
I rubbed his shoulder and placed a card on the table.
"Then you know what to do." I said.
He looked at the card and nodded.
"I will try to help guide you. The best I can. But you will have to make the first move. Call me." I said, patting his back as I turned around and walked to the door.
"Don't take too long though. I have other things to do too. I just came here out of concern and goodwill. I didn't want you to live a lie. Give you a chance at the truth at least. But that doesn't mean I'm going to dedicate my life to you. I'm not one of your victims. Don't do anything stupid but just keep that in mind." I said, reinforcing the ideas I needed him to believe. To create a favourable impression.
With that, I walked out, taking back the UNO cards I used to control his subordinates on the way out, freeing them form my control and disappeared.
