GoldFinger
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Ch. 237/238 - An offer you won't refuse.
🕑 Added 2022-05-16 13:56:36 +0000 UTCTravelling like common people sucks ass. Massive Kim Kardashian plastic filled ass.
It is true what they say.
You don't know the true value of something until you have lost it and watching a crackhead dancing and singing loudly on the New York subway, holding a "Giv mi moniz" sign I couldn't agree more.
I miss my portal gun.
Oh the golden days, when I could just teleport somewhere whenever I wanted to.
I could almost cry.
If I had withdrawn some cash before coming here, I could have taken a taxi but I thought, 'Hey, let's try the subway! What could go wrong?'
A dribble of the crackhead's spit fell onto my lap just then providing a potent example of exactly what and I cringed away.
Fuck.
Gotta keep it down.
Gotta chill.
I took a deep breath and his stench accosted my nose, almost making me gag.
Fucking fucker!
No!
No. Calm down.
Can't cave in a motherfucker's head on the subway.
I don't want to get arrested.
I looked up at the man with a death glare and he jerked back as I stood up, getting off the train.
Goddamn hecklers and panhandlers!
I don't have anything against the homeless but sheesh. At least try to hide your crackpipe!
The man had it peeking out of his pocket.
Nothing has made me regret so many life choices all at once as this one trip did. Especially with the mood I was in when I left the Dean's office.
I sighed, pulling out a piece of paper with the address on it.
I am so getting a taxi on the way back.
I looked up at the building before me.
Logan and associates.
Yup. It's this one.
Here goes nothing.
.
"...I SAID 5 PERCENT, NOT ONE FUCKING CENT MORE YOU HEAR THAT? WELL DO YOU, SHIT FOR BRAINS?! THEN DO YOUR GODDAMN JOB OR I WILL SHOVE MY LEG SO UP YOUR ASS YOU'LL NEED SURGERY TO REMOVE IT! AND DON'T CALL BACK UNTIL YOU'RE DONE!" The man...incubus in front of me screamed himself hoarse as he paced around the room before slamming his earpiece onto the desk.
"Alright, Gaston. What can I do for you?" He asked, eyeing me up and down.
"The name's Jay. Henry Fogg sent me. I needed some of your ... flesh for a spell."
The incubus looked at me as licked his lips before bellowing out with laughter.
"Wait, that actually worked?" He cackled, doubling over as he leaned on the table.
"I convinced Henry on a guys night out some two decades back that I have a magic johnson but to think he actually...." He palmed the table, unable to control himself.
Then I remembered what he was talking about.
"Oh no nononno, I mean your tail. I need your tail for a- as a conduit."
"Haah!" The incubus sucked in a cold breath and wiped away his tears.
"Oh that was hilarious. And yeah sure. What can you give me for it?"
"Wait, don't you grow a new one every spring? It's January already. Why not just wait a couple months and get a new-"
"Buddy, there's no free meal in the world. And don't give me that doe eyed look. I know you're trying to chip me on this. Free my ass." He scoffed.
"Fine. I can get you a girl. Magician. All night, two days-" I bargained when he stopped me.
"Girls? Ew no!"
"Guys?" I asked, tentatively.
"No! I don't even like sex." He adjusted his tie, taking a seat, "Too inefficient. Stress gives off so much more juice. Why do you think I'm an investment banker? I have a brother who's a college professor. You think I like shouting at scrubs? Well actually I do but that's not the point. The point is-"
"Look, can I just pay you for your time. In money?" I asked interrupting him.
He raised an eyebrow.
"Did you not hear me?"
"Oh I heard you alright. How about 3 mil?" I offered.
"Dude, I have money. I don't want money."
"I know. That's exactly why I'm suggesting it. That much money can buy you stress. Hear me out."
"Sure. Go on."
"It's a game show." I said, leaning forward, "Tell me have you ever seen those Japanese game shows with the dick punches and electrocution? Very stressful. I have a similar idea.
Call it 'Bye Bye Student Loans'. The premise is simple. You flash a number, in say, an ad.
Tell people to call in and register to play in a game show.
Then when they sign up, you sneak in a few choice words in the contract, and you can systematize that shit, that allows you to screw them over easy in case they agree to participate.
Choose the most emotionally vulnerable and unstable ones.
Now, you put them through humiliating, gruelling, stressful situations and then, punish them comedically.
Hammer to the nuts, shock their nipples, poke their butts. All in front of the whole nation. I'm talking national TV, maybe even go international with it. Gotta be pretty stressful especially with their friends and family watching them go through that.
Think of all that delicious stress you'll get to consume.
Wring them dry, eat up all of that delicious stress and then, give them like a 20 dollar prize. Technically, you helped pay their student loans. 20 dollars is 20 dollars. And here's the best part. The type of people that apply here, are also the sort who don't have the money to sue you for what you do to them. So....win win!" I patted the table enthusiastically.
"And, I have set it up for you already." I said, showing him a site I just made for the thing via technokinesis while we talked.
The incubis suddenly stopped, read the contract offered and gave me a look of incredulity.
"That is evil. I love it!" He exclaimed.
"Yup. I'll gove it to you for 2 tails. Deal?" I asked.
"Deal!" He said, reaching into his pants.
With a wet squelch and the sound of cloth ripping, he pulled put his tail and plopped it onto the table.
It was a stubby little thing, pinkish gray and spiked at the end. Almost cute.
I poked at it, squishing it lightly.
How soft!
It was like jelly!
"Dude. Gross." The incubus teased.
"What? It's mine now. I can squish it if I want." I defended, stuffing the tail into my bag of holding.
"I have transferred the 3 million dollars to your account. The user data for the site is in your email. I have some stuff to do now so ...See you in the spring for another one?" I asked, getting up.
"Sure thing." He waved me goodbye as I left.
Alright. Filter down. Battery to go.
.
I followed the google maps path to an apartment building in Long Island.
An old but well preserved building in the good part of town.
Julia's apartment.
I had taken the address off of Quentin's phone once he was knocked out and followed it up here.
She had yet to come into contact with Marina and her hedge witches.
So this was the perfect moment to strike and recruit her.
I pressed the bell and felt it ring hollow in the apartment. Nothing was going on inside. That I could tell. No appliances were on. None except the computer. Julia's laptop.
She was too busy to open the door too, given how I could see through the laptop camera that she had ignored the bell.
How rude!
A thought occurs.
She was viewing a page about a spell of seance.
I giggled.
Hehehehe.
Let's spook her straight then, shall we?
Connecting to the laptop, I made it freeze as a string of text appeared.
"You will die in 5...4...3...2..."
I could see her immediately shaken and she shrink back, screaming as a scary, ghastly face appeared on the screen.
I snorted with laughter.
Her reaction was oh so precious!
Then, as the counter reached one, the screen glittered with a fireworks animation.
"Just kidding, idiot. Open the door. I have been ringing the bell for a while."
The screen read.
Julia sighed in relief and looked back towards the door.
Then anger and confusion took over as she jumped off the bed and ran over to the door, peeking through the door slit to see who it was.
I waved at her, and gestured at the door.
"Hey kid, wanna buy a spell?" I asked playfully.
Julia looked utterly confused at the statement but the word 'spell' caught her attention.
Slowly she opened the door, and eyed me suspiciously.
"Who are you?" She asked.
"Doesn't matter. What matters is what I can do for you." I said, raising my phone to her eyes and displaying a picture of a spell model.
"Want some?"
Her eyes lit up at the spellwork and she swiped out, trying to nab the phone.
But I was no scrub.
"Atatatat! Calm your tits girl. Not so fast. Payment first. That's how buying stuff works." I chastised her.
"What do you want? Money? How much?" She stuttered in a bare whisper.
"Not money. I want you to do something for me." I explained, gesturing at the sofa, "Let's talk inside, shall we?"
She nodded, and let me in.
"So...not going to offer me any tea? Coffee?" I teased, and she got up flustered.
"Nah, it's okay." I laughed, "Sit back down. Let's discuss."
"Um...who are you? And how did you find me?" She asked first and foremost.
Smart girl. And hot too.
She looks just poured into those yoga pants, sheesh.
You don't find that combo a lot.
Unfortunately for her, I don't intend to reveal anything about myself.
"There are many ways to track the gift." I said, brushing it off.
"I hear Brakebills rejected you?" I changed the topic and watched her wince at the question.
Yup. Sore spot found.
I leaned back into the sofa and smiled.
Let's press on.
"They accepted your friend though. Quentin was it?"
She frowned.
She had always considered Quentin beneath her, subconsciously.
He was the shy, awkward nerd who simped for her. And she was the hot, popular girl who got whatever she wanted and succeeded at everything.
True talent.
And now? The positions were flipped.
Of course she didn't like it.
"Yes." She whispered.
Now for a little positive nudge.
The basocs of manipulation.
"How unfortunate. They didn't see any talent or potential in you."
"If they gave me one more chance-"
I wagged a finger.
"In life, there are no second chances. Either you make it, or you don't."
She sulked even harder hearing that.
"But you know what I think?" I continued, as she looked up, hopeful, "I think they made a little mistake. I think you might just have some talent lying around in there. So I have an offer for you."
"And what's that?" She asked, trying to hide her obvious expectations.
"I will give you a little test." I began, pulling out a stack of papers from my bag.
"That is the process of making a magical battery. Stores magical current. Discharges it when required. A simpel operation." I said, placing a chunk of living metal before her.
"And this is living metal. Rare, expensive, finite resource."
She looked at it, running her fingers across the chunk.
"You want me to make one." She guessed.
"Clever girl." I praised, "Yes. I want you to make one for me. You have a week. But I will give bonus points for speed and quality. If you manage to-"
"I will." She replied.
"That remains to be seen." I pointed out, "And if you interrupt me again, this is over, got it?"
She nodded, a hint of fear in her eyes.
"Good. It's basic manners. Now, where was I?" I looked to see of she would cut in, but she didn't fall for the trap.
I smiled in amusement and she got a proud glint in her eye.
She knew.
Heh. This might actually be worth my while!
"Yes. If you manage to create a magical battery, I will consider teaching you more."
"But just enough to do your odd jobs for you." She added.
So she figured that out huh?
Better than I expected.
"That and a little more. Unless you prefer the muggle life? Wouldn't be so bad, with your perfect boyfriend, and seat at Yale." I gave her an ultimatum.
"Fine. I will do it." She agreed, "But when I succeed-"
"If." I corrected.
"What was that about manners?" She asked sarcastically.
"Touche." I relented.
"If I succeed, I want you to tell me who you are and how you found me."
"You mean how you can find others like us so you can undercut our future dealings." I read in between the lines and she clicked her tongue.
"You're not as smart as you think, Julia. But sure. If you manage to make a good quality battery, I will give you directions to another group of magicians you can meet." I agreed.
"Thank you." She said, indignant.
"Alright. That's all then." I slapped my knee and got up to leave.
"See you in a week."
I walked out the door and Julia followed me out.
"You have talent Julia. Don't disappoint me." I said as I left.
"I won't." She replied with confidence, unlike her best bud Quentin, the living embodiment of moist pussies.
I nodded and left.
Time to get the rest of the mundane shit in order now, before I start the semester.
A lot of inventions to make and a lot of shit to find before I can be back to an acceptable level of power.
But before that, let's get a taxi.
I got onto the main street, wothdrew some cash and hailed myself a cab.
"Where to?" The driver asked.
"The public library in Chester, New Jersey." I said.
One last chore before I return to Brakebills.
To find the a book left to humanity by Prometheus himself.
One that held the door to all magic.
The Tale Of The Seven Keys.
An endgame item that I intend to bag early.
Because there's nothing like clearing out a questline before it even occurs and one shotting the final boss.
Hehehehe.
No kill like overkill!
