GoldFinger
patreon
Ch. 261 - Playing Good Samaritan.
🕑 Added 2022-06-01 12:28:15 +0000 UTCThe chapters between this and the last one are on webnovel. If you want me to add them here for smoother reading do tell me.
Sorry for the inconvenience. And the delay.
Enjoy the extra chapter. Another one is coming soon.
_______________
"MOTHERFUCKER!" I cried out as I jumped into my room, closing the portal behind me.
I heaved a sigh of relief, sliding down onto the floor, my heart beating like a drum in my chest.
But it didn't help.
Even now, the nightmarish hallucinations creeping ever closer, indescribable, tendrilled with mouth and eyes..... So many mouth.... So many eyes, staring holes into my very soul.
"Purge it!" I cried out to my A.I., "Purge them all!"
I gulped thickly waiting, watching as the entities crept closer and closer, the tendrils reachin-
I felt something pinch me, and then as if a veil ahd been lifted from over me, in an instant they disappeared.
I looked around for any more daylight terrors, before rubbing my eyes.
"Chtulu Venom Antidote delivered." My A.I. announced in a cold, sterile voice, "Internal Modifications recommended. Shall I move the modification surgery up on the schedule sir?"
"Haah!" This always gets me.
I looked down at the baby Chthulu in my arms.
"You little monsters and your goddamn nightmare inducing pheromones." I shook the baby in my arms and it gurgled cutely.
"So much terror from such a small cutie~" I poked it's head, and it's mouth tentacles twitched happily.
So innocent.
The Chthulus.
A species of migratory interdimensional predators. Not very advanced as a species, but they possesed a knack for finding rifts in space and moving between the same set of worlds in a cycle, nesting in the same place, feeding in another set location and breeding in another.
They summered in one world and wintered in yet another.
And their greatest weapon?
Their pheromones.
As children, they only had noghtmare inducing pheromones as a defence mechanism, but as they grew up, they learnt to excrete other types. Love inducing, alluring and attracting pheromones, those that smelled like rotten meat and others that smelled like fresh cut grass. After all, the Chthulus weren't particularly active predators. They did their best in short burst of explosive power. They were not built for endurance. Just like the octopi they were evolved from, they lay in ambush, excreting pheromones tha attracted their prey closer and closer, in a trance until with a snap, they burst out, capturing their prey instantly.
Of course, it was their extradimensional sensory abilities, or rather the tears that lube their eyes, granting primitive ambush predators like them access to interdimensional travel, that I was after.
The tears, as I had previously learnt, could catch and transmit signals across worlds, with great sensitivity.
Where they lacked the overwhelming capacity, versatility and range of crystallized xanthenite, they more than made up for in their sensitivity. Great for applications that required precision. Like detecting dead signals across worlds or channeling and preserving conciousness in compressed data form.
I stood back up, pulling out a tank with amniotic fluid and put down the baby Chthulu into it, capping it.
"Wait here for a bit okay? I'll be back soon enough." I scratched it's bulbous head and close the lid.
"Uhn~" I stretched, my joints cracking with satisfying pops.
"That's Chthulu kidnapping was enough of a workout so I can skip leg day. Let's see what else is on the menu today."
I pulled up the tasklist.
"Get Chthulu tears, check. Next, Retrieve Wanda. Will do that in the evening. Then... Quentin's deal. Yup. And finding where my demon sealing boxes went and punish the person who stole them. Alright. Let's start there." I checked the time.
"10:17 am. Eliot should be up by now."
I messaged him to meet me at the dorm as I got ready to go out and find the thief.
Well I already knew who stole my demon sealing boxes. It was Kady. And I also knew where they where. I had trackers on all my inventions.
I already knew it last night.
They were at Marina's safehouse. With the rest of the stolen stuff.
But since Eliot volunteered, might as well take him to play good cop. I don't want to have to get violent for no reason after all.
.
"Did you make a list of all the stuff that has been stolen?" I asked as Eliot handed me a shaking cardboard box.
What's in ther-Oh right the stolen book was a pair. This is probably it's mate. Well, this should make it easy to gloss over me knowing the location.
"Yes. Whoever it is, they have stolen a lot of stuff from us. Even some library books, if Dean Fogg is to be believed."
Ah, is that why he wants access to the cameras.
I can't have that. He's going to ruin the timeline even more when I'm trying to keep some semblance of it alive.
Why? Because I'll be gone in a year when I get the divinity and in the mean time I want to keep the world straight.
Don't want to return from my deicide hunt and find Earth to be a smouldering wasteland because these idiots aren't ready to face the big bads.
So I'm trying to keep them on an acceptable level of growth and competence at the very least.
Now could I automate these defenses?
Sure. But that would require work. Work that I'm not willing to put into a world I intend to consume whole in an year or two.
So let's just keep this shit on track.
I nodded to myself as the box shook again.
"This way." Eliot pointed and I followed as we stalked the book's path through Brooklyn till it led us to a small Bodega.
The book thrashed abput ever harder in the box now.
"I think it's in there." I pointed out the shop and the star stocker with a keyhole cut out into it. The symbol of hedge witches.
Eliot raised an eyebrow and formed his fingers into a window, casting a Mann Reveal, checking it out magically.
"Yeah. This bodega is warded out the ass. This is it. A hedge witch safehouse. Come. Let's go." He said, confidently striding in, just as Kady came out from a door in the back and spotted us, freezing like a deer in the headlights while the shopkeeper urgently pressed a button under his desk. Probably calling back up or warning the people up above.
I smiled.
Things couldn't have worked out better.
"Looks like we found our thief." I said.
Eliot tilted his head in confusion.
"She's Penny's girlfriend?"
"Oh!" Eliot said, "I still don't know who that is."
"She was with Quentin when he did that stupid spell."
"One of those huh?" He smiled, "You're right, I think we did find the thief."
"Look guys, I don't know what you're talking about." Kady excused, trying to curve us but the book began to thrash again.
At the same time a litany of sounds came from the attic. Mostly of another book thrashing and thing falling off shelves.
"You don't?" I raised an eyebrow, gesturing at the sounds above and she deflated.
"Fuck."
Hehehehehehe.
I grinned.
Looks like I'll be getting two contracts today, instead of just Quentin's.
The thrashing above just continue and I even heard some bodies hitting the floor.
Man that's one horny book!
But it only gave us more ammo as we stormed past her and into the attic, just as a book came flying at me.
Almost to match it, the book in my box flew out too, meeting it's mate midways as they began to... Hump?
And where are those fluids even coming from... Is that... Ink?
"Are they?" Pete asked.
"Yes. They're fucking." Eliot removed his suit jacket and covered the two lovebirds? Lovebooks?
And brought them back into the box.
"Now if you'd be so kind as to return the rest of our stolen stuff, we will leave here without issue."
"And why should we do that?" Came a voice from the other end of the room.
We looked over and saw Marina sitting atop a table, legs crossed, with a hint of murder in her eye.
Eliot took a slow drag from his cig and pointed at her.
"You are hedges. Poor, desperate creatures. While we..."
He gestured at us with a hint of condescension.
"We are two classically trained magicians."
"Really? Show us some tricks mage boy, why don't you?" Marina mocked, leveling a gaze at me.
I smiled, and without a word pulled out my laser pistol, letting loose a shot that seared past her, setting her hair pin on fire as it melted onto her head.
"How's that for a trick?" I asked, holstering it with a spin.
"Is that a laser gun?" Pete asked, his eyes nearly popping out of his head.
"Yup."
"Just another advantage we have over you....folks." Eliot spat.
Marina touched her head and pulled the pin off, looking at it, then at the hole my plasma bolt has burned through their attic and gulped thickly.
She was afraid, even though her face was a mask of neutral cockiness.
"So?" Eliot asked.
"So go fuck yourself. And while you're at it, get the fuck out of my safehouse." Marina scowled.
"Oh darling if I could, I wouldn't stop." Eliot shot back with a cocky grin, "Actually with a golem, perhaps...."
"Eliot." I pulled him back to the topic.
"Oh yes." He nodded, looking over at Marina, "Are you sure about that? Do you really want this?"
Marina glared at him and then looked around at her nervous subordinates, falling into thought.
"Fine." She said, looking over at Kady behind us, "I will send them back with Kady. Satisfied? Can you leave now?"
Eliot went to agree but I stopped him.
"Actually, just one more thing." I interjected, "What's the deal woth Kady and you? Why's she stealing shit for you? Isn't she a Brakebills student?"
"It's none of your business." Kady instantly tried shutting the topic down, but I ignored her, looking at Marina for an answer.
I already knew why, of course. Kady's mother had fucked up a spell, gotten peopel killed by accident and Marina had 'generously' agreed to help for a price.
Kady would work off her debt for her mother.
And her mother sold her like a mule.
It was sad, honestly.
"It's simple. I helped Kady. And now she's paying back her debt." Marona replied.
"Is that so? How big is this debt exactly?" I asked, curious.
"I'd say she has more than paid it back, what with all that stealing. Wouldn't you?"
"No. I would not." Marina answered.
"Interesting. What exactly did you do for her?"
This time Kady didn't hold back and made to grab my arm, only to be stopped by my forcefield.
"Mind your own damn business!" She growled.
"Very intimidating." I mocked.
Eliot raised an eyebrow.
"What are you doing?" He whispered, leaning over.
"Saving a fellow student." I answered, "Are those stolen materials irreplaceable?"
"Not really."
"Then it's a good price to pay for a brighter future, won't you say?" I asked with a smile.
I knew Eliot was the one truly decent human being among the whole cast. Someone who actually cared about shit like doing good for good's sake.
I knew he wouldn't lass up this opportunity to save Kady.
Eliot looked at me and his eyes seemed to get a bit lighter as he smiled back, and nodded.
I turned back to Marina.
"How about this? We don't take back what you stole. In return, you sell her debt to me?"
Marina looked at me surprised.
"Really?" She scoffed, chuckling in amusement, "What? You wanna have a go at her?"
"Ew! No." I frowned, rejecting the premise, "Her blood is like 8 parts heroin and three parts cocaine. And she's Penny's girlfriend ready. I'm not into sloppy seconds."
"Hey!" Kady protested in anger.
"What? Am I wrong?"
At that she shut up and fumed silently.
"A charity case then? Fancy yourself a hero?" Marina asked.
"Nah. Charity cases I ignore on principle. No point wasting time on them." I waved her off, "Now do we have a deal or not?"
Marina thought for a moment and acted as if she didn't want to before reluctantly agreeing with a sigh.
"Fine. You can have her." She turned to Kady and twirled her hand as a magical brand burned off of her shoulder causing her to hiss in pain.
"There. Now get out of my safehouse." She waved her hands as we teleported outside the bodega.
Eliot looked down at the cardboard box and checked to see the books were still there.
He closed the box back and turned to me with a teasing smirk.
"I didn't take you for a good samaritan."
I shrugged.
"What can I say? It's my good deed of the year."
"Sure." Kady hissed, skeptical, "And brownies fall out of the sky every tuesday. We both know the world doesn't work that way."
"Well if you use heroin like water, I can understand why you see brownies in the sky." I said playfully, "But no. I don't want anything in return. Just be better from now on. Or don't. I'm not your mom."
I used that word specifically.
I knew her mom was a sore topic.
It was a great way to lure her in.
"Seriously?" She said, "You think I'm an idiot? I wasn't born yesterday! People don't-"
"What do you know about people Kady? How much have you lived?" I cut her off, "Just because you were born in the gutter doesn't mean downtown doesn't exist."
"Yeah, but downtown isn't for gutter brats like me." She said with a hint of disappointment, looking away.
"Have you tried just walking over? You'll be surprised how good people can be."
"I could try that. Maybe it's true. But you know what I know IS true? People are shitty, greedy, pieces of shit."
"If what you see in the mirror isn't what you like, Kady, then it's not the mirror that's at fault. It's up to you to change your situation. This is your chance. Take it if you want. Or waste it if you don't. I don't care either way. As you said, it's none of my business. Just remember to ask yourself." I pointed at her, "Is this someone who's right for Penny? For anyone? If not, then it might be time to change." I said, and turned around, walking away, leaving her to mull in her thoughts.
"Damn. That's one fiery speech you gave there, Tony Robbins." Eliot slapped my back,"You write that down first or was it off the top of your head?"
"I was a senator for a while. And I wrote my own speeches." I grinned.
Why did I leave her without binding her in a contract?
Because Kady was fiercely loyal, if a bit weak of mind. She will repay that one act of kindness a hundred times over. Her conscience won't allow her not to.
No one had reached out to her, her whole life. And all she needed was that one person to do something truly kind for her, without hope of reward or trade and she'd give anything to repay them.
I knew that.
In the show, when she failed to save Penny, to repay his sacrifice, she tried to commit suicide. Thrice.
Yeah.
She will willingly enslave herself to me. All she needs right now is time. And enough rope to hang herself.
In the meantime, I can wrap up Quentin's end of the deal.
For him though, I will definitely need a Word As Bond contract. He might be a blubbering mess but he can be surprisingly cunning when he needs to be.
A simple few words just won't do with him. But I knew what will.
I patted the Emerson's Alloy in my pocket and smiled.
Yup. He'll fall right into my lap.
Just as planned.
