Manilla
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(Secret pack 4) Animated comic - Shopping (+ 17 sketches)
🕑 Added 2025-11-14 13:01:23 +0000 UTC Read from right to left! [English below, thank you!] 注意：ここからグチが入るよ。ただ抜きに来てる人はテキスト飛ばしてOK。ありがとね。 みんな、久しぶり。まだここにいてくれて本当にありがとう。 またみんなをがっかりさせちゃった。ADHDと抗うつ薬のせいで、完全にゾンビみたいになって感情も時間感覚もなくなっちゃったんだ。仕事で超生産的になって遅くまで残業して、家に帰ったら家事やってすぐベッドに倒れ込む。まあ「機能」してるっちゃしてるけど、自分らしくないよ全く。 日々がぼやけて溶け合っちゃう。前の投稿からせいぜい3週間くらいだと思ってたら、2ヶ月以上経ってたんだ。それマジで怖い。あの期間の明確な記憶がほとんどないよ。元々内向的で家好きだったけど、散歩すら行かなくなって。ただ仕事、睡眠、繰り返し。これがこれからの人生？そんなの嫌だよ。 だから薬止めた。感情が一気に戻ってきて、やっと人間らしく感じるようになった。でももちろんデメリットも。集中力が地獄で、気分がめちゃくちゃ揺れる。朝は希望に満ちてたのに、昼飯頃にはクソみたいな気分になってる。 AIが羨ましいよなあ。完璧にタスクこなして、頭おかしくないし、感情が邪魔しないし、自己管理の苦労なし。入力入れたら完璧な出力が出る… ハロウィン頃に薬やめて、おばあちゃんキャラの3シーンアニメ作ろうとしたけど、締め切り完全に逃した。だからこれで埋め合わせ。ハロウィンテーマじゃなくなっちゃうけど、おばあちゃんのやつはまだ完成させるよ。 この一週間は仕事早めに切り上げて、また散歩行ったり、絵描き始めたり。戻ってきた感じがしてマジでいいよ。瞑想とか心理学の本読んでメンタルケアしてる。まだ大きな結果出てないけど、続けていく。 この投稿の絵はランダムっぽいけど笑。長い休み明けに、何かカチッとハマったんだ。突然フォルムとパースがよく分かるようになった。参考資料ほとんどいらなくて、3Dソフト起動せずに手でマンガのパネル描くのが楽しい。 これの後、「セルフ挿入」バージョンのアニメ公開するよ（のび太だけど灰色にして額に「YOU」って書いてる笑） 次のプロジェクトは、自分知ってるから約束しない。でも毎日時間取って、作業中はちゃんと今に集中するようにする。いつも過去の失敗考えたり不確かな未来心配したりで詰まるんだよね。今にフォーカスしなきゃ。 今日はこれで。サポートしてくれてありがとう！めちゃくちゃ嬉しい。次の投稿で会おう。じゃあね！ —- Caution: Venting ahead. If you’re just here to fap, feel free to skip the text. Thanks. Hey guys, it’s been a while. Really appreciate you all still being here. I let you down again. The ADHD and antidepressant meds turned me into a complete zombie with no emotions and no real sense of time. I’d get super productive at work, staying late, then head home, handle some chores, and crash right into bed. Sure, it “worked” in a way, but I didn’t feel like myself at all. The days just blurred together. I could’ve sworn my last post was maybe three weeks ago, but nope, it was over two months. That’s honestly scary. I have almost no clear memories from that whole period. I was already pretty introverted and a homebody before, but now I wasn’t even going out for walks. Just work, sleep, repeat. Is this really how the rest of my life is going to be? I don’t want that. So I stopped the meds. The feelings came rushing back, and I finally felt human again. But of course, the downsides hit too. Focusing is a nightmare, and my moods swing all over the place. One minute I’m hopeful in the morning, the next I’m feeling like absolute garbage by lunchtime. Man, I envy AI sometimes. They just get things done perfectly, nofucked-up brain, no emotions getting in the way, no discipline struggles. Input goes in, perfect output comes out… I quit the pills around Halloween and tried putting together a three-scene animation with a granny character for the occasion, but I missed the deadline completely. So I made this one to make up for it. I’ll still finish the granny piece, just without the Halloween theme now. This past week, I’ve been getting off work early, actually going for walks again, and starting to draw. It feels really good to be back at it. I’m trying to work on my mental stuff with meditation and reading some psychology books. Haven’t seen big results yet, but I’m sticking with it. The art in this post is kind of random, lol. But after taking that long break from drawing, something clicked. I suddenly understand forms and perspective a lot better. I don’t need references nearly as much, and I’m having fun drawing manga panels straight by hand instead of firing up 3D software. After this I’ll release a “self-insert” version of this animation, for public release ( Nobita but grayed out with “YOU” written on his forehead haha) As for the next project, no promises, knowing myself. But I’m going to try putting in hours every day and really stay present while I work. My biggest issue has always been getting stuck thinking about past failures or worrying about an uncertain future. I need to focus on the now. Anyway, that’s everything for today. Thank you all so much for the support. It means a lot to me. See you in the next post. Take care!
Comments
Suds
Just means you’re human. As the anime song goes “Although it’s raining outside, the people of the city still believe in the existence of the sun.”
Gianya
Don't worry dude, you are the best!
paris carter
take care bro, us the people/your fans got your back champ keep ur head up.
Sunny
Do your best, Manilla-san
Kuruba97
We hope you will be well soon. Doesn’t matter if we have to wait! Thank you for your hard work! You got it champ!
Mr Raindrop
i heard of a case with medications, its brutal im rooting for you
arcy
Really good that you're feeling better, man. Take care of yourself, and please don't burn yourself out!
