Jixo
patreon
054 Naruto Mobile Game
🕑 Added 2025-12-14 21:23:43 +0000 UTC"Uchiha Itachi? Hah, perfect — I was just about to interrogate you, you bastard! Hmm!"
The updated Ninja Mobile Game was pulling players back in, and Deidara was no exception.
During Akatsuki's suspension from missions he'd been bored out of his skull, with nowhere to display his art.
He couldn't very well perform art in the Rain Hidden Village, could he?
No choice — apart from making small explosions to entertain himself, most of his time went to the Ninja Mobile Game.
So when Deidara logged in and saw the enemy lineup, his eyes were immediately drawn.
Uchiha Itachi! Uchiha Itachi! Uchiha Itachi!
The opponent had three ninjas, but Deidara seemed to only see the No.1 slot: [Uchiha Itachi].
His own roster was flashy: [Might Guy], [Asuma Sarutobi], [Hatake Kakashi].
This was top-tier for the current version.
Why no [Jiraiya]? Oh — because Deidara hadn't pulled him yet.
"Battle start!"
A normal player facing [Uchiha Itachi] would naturally back off first, see if they could dodge the clone's Exploding Clone skill.
But Deidara refused!
Retreat in front of Uchiha Itachi? He'd never suffer that humiliation twice in this life!
He flung a clay bomb straight at [Uchiha Itachi]'s face!
When he heard [Uchiha Itachi] only get halfway through saying Exploding Clone, Deidara grinned.
Interrupting that Itachi's skill — what an opportunity! If this were real life he wouldn't be happy; he'd be checking whether he'd been hit by genjutsu.
"Amazing! Fantastic! More Itachis, please! I'm going to interrogate them properly! Hmm!"
Deidara shouted with excitement, making quite a racket; Sasori nearby frowned at the noise.
But the mood shifted soon after.
"Huh? Why didn't his second skill stop? Did he have a Secret Scroll Dispel?"
"Amaterasu so fast? And there's a grab?"
"No, the clones never disappeared? Is this fake?"
"Dispel! Dispel! Dispel!"
"Why, why — I was in genjutsu, right? Why can't I break it!!"
"W-what, a basic auto-attack? That pathetic little normal hit? How dare he toy with me with that!"
"Aren't you the famed Hatake Kakashi? One Chidori and he's dead! Kill him!"
"Dead? He's dead already?"
Deidara stared blankly, looking up as the Ultimate Scene that launched after the third transformation on the phone left him stunned.
[This is the difference the Sharingan makes!]
Sharingan? Who the hell has a Sharingan... oh, Uchiha Itachi has one? Never mind then.
"Sasori-sama wuuuuu~" Deidara rushed over to Sasori and wailed loudly, "Uchiha Itachi he-he-he-he-he's not human!! Hmm!"
You're not either, to be fair. Sasori was speechless.
He'd grabbed a moment away from the Ninja Mobile Game to do puppet maintenance, and Deidara had to make an endless racket.
"So? Getting wrecked by someone else — what's there to say?" Sasori didn't even look up, fiddling with a specially made arm.
"No, I suspect this [Uchiha Itachi] is basically playing a different game from every other ninja!" Deidara fumed.
"Oh? Really?" Sasori took an interest.
He took the phone from Deidara's hand and saw Deidara had already tapped rematch, and the opponent had accepted.
Deidara might be an annoying guy with artistic differences from Sasori, but if something could utterly collapse him, Sasori was curious.
Four minutes later...
The match finished, but Sasori still clutched the phone like a statue, utterly motionless.
"Sasori-sama?" Deidara ventured, oddly wanting to take a step back.
Not for any other reason — just in case blood splattered in his face.
But Sasori's mental fortitude was far stronger than Deidara's; after a moment's adjustment he calmed down.
"Just the first time I saw it. Now I'm familiar with that guy's skills — the only tricky part is the clones."
Sasori said, then queued another match by himself.
"Um, Sasori-sama, that's my phone... if you get discovered as a smurf you're gonna drop ranks."
Deidara couldn't finish the latter half — a single look from Sasori shut him up.
"Battle start!"
Clones RNG! Clone wandering! Clone protection! Clone counter! Clone dealing damage! Clone leeching beans!
[The Mangekyō Sharingan's genjutsu — there is no escape!!]
Sasori: ...Continue!
Clones pummelled relentlessly! Amaterasu burned uncontrollably! Tsukuyomi fell crazily! Ultimate Scene soared wildly!
[The Mangekyō Sharingan's genjutsu — there is no escape!!]
Sasori exhaled slowly, closed his eyes, yet in the darkness he faintly saw a Uchiha Itachi clone running toward him...
"Damn it!"
Sasori crushed the phone in his hand, casually threw out a chakra thread, dragged a few scrolls on the table toward him.
Then he stood and dashed outside, his body radiating an overflowing, maddening killing intent.
Deidara was terrified — he forgot his broken phone and leapt to hug Sasori.
"Calm down, Sasori-sama! Calm down!!"
Sasori said nothing; Deidara felt endless strength surging from Sasori's not-very-strong frame.
He couldn't hold him back — simply couldn't!
"No, no fighting now would never be allowed by the leader — otherwise I'd have taken out Uchiha Itachi ages ago!" Deidara yelled.
Sasori froze, stopped in his tracks.
Deidara pulled out two phones from his bosom and thrust one at Sasori.
"Here, Sasori-sama, let's train together. One day we'll take down that bastard Uchiha Itachi!"
"...You're right."
Sasori and Deidara exchanged a look.
This pair — normally antagonistic in matters of art — at this moment found shocking agreement.
Uchiha Itachi, huh? Let's take him down!!
At this time many players were getting wrecked by the ninja [Uchiha Itachi].
In the current version you could call it a dimensionality-reducing strike; that wouldn't be an exaggeration.
"Tsk tsk tsk! Sure enough, he's banned in a lot of matches!"
At the Cube Internet Café, Kuroda scrolled through backend data, clicking his tongue in wonder.
The data showed many players who faced [Uchiha Itachi] had wisely chosen to ban [Uchiha Itachi] outright.
But there were also some stubborn players who figured, "If you have [Uchiha Itachi], I do too."
They resolutely chose ninja internal wars.
No matter how many summons you used, if you took down their [Uchiha Itachi], sorry — that match was yours.
Yet neither of those options were the most impressive.
Kuroda admired the players who neither banned [Uchiha Itachi] nor picked him!
Those players existed in every version; they were the true top-tier gods!
"This ninja is poisonous!"
"Ridiculous, ban him!"
"I think I can fight him."
"Huh? How did an idiot sneak in?"
The café was busy that day — good atmosphere, people chatting and drinking; playing the Ninja Mobile Game here was excellent.
Employee One and Employee Two weaved between customers, working very diligently.
But when they saw Kuroda at the counter, leisurely holding a cup of water, they wanted to die.
What they didn't know was Kuroda was thinking about something that could profoundly influence the future of the Ninja Mobile Game.
Itachi — nerf or not?
