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Ch15 script & character scribbles
🕑 Added 2021-02-20 06:19:13 +0000 UTCHey there! Hope February is treating you okay. Here's the promised copy of Chapter 15's script. Going back through it, I found giant chunks of story missing because they were changes I made while drawing the comic that never got reflected in the written story. At the same time, there is a fair amount of cut dialogue and some internal character thoughts in the script that certain readers might be interested in? The first half is probably the best; the script gets steadily sloppier after that.
After doing this for so long I've developed a pretty good sense for what sort of scenes need to be figured out while I'm drawing, and what should be hammered out in text first. I've also almost entirely stopped writing any sort of scenery description, and keep actions to the bare minimum. When you're your own comic artist, what's the point? :D
The biggest script changes happened with Duane's scenes, specifically in the khert with Lady I and his confrontation with Lori. His khert breakdown was very much influenced by chapter 14, and I expanded what had been a single panel in the script - him pleasuring himself in his army sleeping bag - to that entire ice skating scene with his comrades and the meatball seller. Meatball seller also wound up stealing what I had written as Sarthos' one and only physical comic appearance, so my apologies if you liked her in "Interior Emanations" :)
And with Lori, Duane originally never took her to the weapons closet. That was a late change when I realised she needed a more secure lockup than her office.
Duane was overall very difficult to wrangle in chapter 15. He was at the same time wild with emotional turmoil, and either behind a mask or in Sette's thrall, hopefully ultimately creating an impression of a man paralyzed by himself and others. When Duane does act in 15, it's explosive and destructive, even when he's only chatting with Siya.
I also combed my working files for concept art, but it's really just all scribbles of ideas and costumes I made as I went along. I saved out what seemed most interesting. Sette wants you all to look at how beautiful she is in her Tirna costume.
Chapter 16 is progressing well! Don't forget there's a fanworks contest happening on the site if you're so inclined. I'm also working on a short bit of Minnow smut, which I'll post up here in a few weeks. Seeya in a bit!
Comments
Ashley
Oh, I musta missed a spot or two! I tried to change all the instances of her name to "Chief."
Duke BG
What do you mean? I learned it from the script just now.
Ashley
I deleted her name in the script before I let you guys see it :) Not everyone on here follows the Tumblr and I didn't wanna confuse them, haha.
Duke BG
Finally finished reading the script & comparing to the pages. In all cases the changes were made for the good! Just one more observation: Nora Pris's name was not on the pages, it's funny how this coincides with her not getting to say her name in the flashback chapter as well.
Parrott
Duane’s stage costume is so great 👏👏👏👏
