Jessie Earl
patreon
PATREON UPDATE – MAY 2025 (Discord link)
🕑 Added 2025-05-01 18:10:19 +0000 UTCHey all <3
As always, I want to start with the most important thing: thank you. Truly, from the bottom of my heart. Every time I sit down to write these updates, I’m reminded how lucky I am to have a community like this—people who believe in what I do, not just the content I put out, but me, as a person and as a creator.
Lately, I’ve been carrying around a lot of guilt—feeling like I haven’t been active enough on YouTube, or vocal enough on trans issues during a time when everything feels so intense and urgent. But I keep reminding myself: I can’t do everything, I can't be everything and its important and ok to focus on the things you've got in front of you. And so many of you have messaged me, or even told me in person, that you’re here because you believe in my voice, not just the output. That your support is here to enable me to be healthy, joyful, and creative—not to work myself to the bone. That matters more than I can say. It’s hard to feel that sometimes… but it’s important to hear honestly. It helps to hear from others so that I can tell it to myself and maybe start to believe it more haha.
So thank you. Thank you for letting me take care of myself. Thank you for supporting the human behind the camera and the scripts. I hope I’m doing right by you.
APRIL CHECK-IN
To be honest, April was rough. Things are still good, big picture—but it felt like everything came due at once. I’ve been deep in post-production on Long Away, juggling editing, VFX, and coordinating all the moving pieces; while simultaneously kicking off preproduction for my episode of Nebula’s Sub/Liminal. On top of that, I’ve been trying to make headway on [REDACTED] (more on that below ), which is a massive project. Each of these things is meaningful to me. I love the work. But when they all stack on top of each other, it’s a lot to carry.
And while I’ve tried to keep my head down and focus on the things that make me feel grounded and creative… I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been shaken by the online world lately. The internet has felt especially toxic this past month. Not everywhere—there are still corners of care, curiosity, and community—but even in those places, the temperature feels higher. I think a lot of us are fraying at the edges. Everyone’s worn down. Everyone’s scared. And the internet, as it exists now, doesn’t help us regulate that fear.
Whether it’s discourse I’ve been involved in or just ones I’ve witnessed from the sidelines, there’s a kind of just frayed emotion in the air that’s hard to ignore. It’s not that the topics aren’t important—they are—but the way we’re pushed to talk about them flattens everything into conflict and performance. It leaves no room for process, for nuance, for grief. And for someone like me—who makes work about complexity and contradiction—it’s deeply disheartening. And also just been really hard emotionally to handle when it's come at me too, and even when it hasn't. I honestly don't have the energy between everything to hold it, but I want to. I desperately want to, because I know people are hurting and so I want to listen and try to build and reach out but I'm also frayed too.
I still believe in the power of the internet. I still believe in what we can create together here. But I’m also a little jaded right now, if I’m honest. So I’ve been focusing on what I can control—projects that feel tangible, collaborative, affirming both on and off the internet - especially ones that I've been able to work with others on. I’m lucky to have so many of those in my life right now. They’ve been my anchor. But even anchors get heavy when you’re tired.
And I am tired. Grateful, but tired.
PERSONAL NEWS
I’m heading back east this month for a pretty exciting combo of family and work! I’ll finally be meeting my new nephew—my brother’s son—which I’m so thrilled (and mildly terrified) about. I’m also attending my sister’s college graduation, and Erin (my fiancée) is going to meet my biological mom in person for the very first time! (They’ve met virtually, and Erin’s already met my dad and stepmom, who’s basically also my mom, but this is the last big “first” meeting. )
And while we’re back east, I’ll be doing some location scouting in NYC for Sub/Liminal and meeting more of the crew! Speaking off...
SUB/LIMINAL (Nebula Original Series)
We’ve officially started preproduction on my episode of Sub/Liminal, Nebula’s first live-action fiction series of this scale. It’s a low-budget project with big ambitions, and it’s been fascinating to be a part of a larger creative machine for a show for the first rather then running it from the start.
This is the first time I’ve stepped in as a director on someone else’s script, so it’s been a challenge (and a joy!) finding my way into a story that didn’t originate with me. Working with writers like Jake Torpey has been great, and figuring out visual language with DP Valentine Vee (who many of you might know as the director of Abigail Thorn’s Dracula’s Ex-Girlfriend) has been genuinely exciting.
We’ve started casting, and we’ve already landed some AMAZING folks—with an offer out to one of our leads who would honestly be a dream to work with. Like, John DeLancie-level dream. Fingers crossed.
We’re scheduled to film in late June in New York City, and now that Long Away is wrapping up, I can shift more of my energy to this. I can’t wait to share more.
LONG AWAY (Sci-Fi Trans Short Film)
If you missed it, Long Away is the sci-fi short film from Star Trek: Prodigy’s Tilly and Susan Bridges that I assistant-directed and co-produced. We are so close to the finish line!
My main job now has been post-production: I’ve been the editor, VFX artist (alongside the absolutely wonderful Aaron Loss, husband of Dr. Erin Macdonald—truly one of the sweetest, most brilliant men I’ve had the pleasure of working with), and post-production coordinator. It’s been a lot—but we’re nearly there!
VFX are almost done, and we’re currently working through sound design, color, and scoring (with many of the Identiteaze team returning!). We’re aiming for a June premiere in LA, followed by a festival run, and a wide release sometime next year. I’ve included some BTS photos below!
THE SECRET PROJECT REVEALED!
Okay, so: I’ve been teasing a third big project for months. And while I still can’t give you all the details yet, I can finally say this much:
I’m writing a book!
I’ve signed with a publishing imprint under Macmillan to write a nonfiction book—and I think you’re all going to love it. I can’t say the topic yet, but let’s just say… it’ll probably be very up your alley if you follow me.
I’m currently about halfway through the first draft, with a detailed outline for the rest. It’s been slow going because the book requires a ton of research, and because my editor was unfortunately let go in April. The book’s still happening—but transitioning to a new editorial team took time I didn’t really have, which only added to the burnout this past month. Still, of all my projects, this is the one that might be closest to my heart. It’s something I feel like I’ve been building toward my whole life. I can’t wait to share more.
YOUTUBE UPDATES
So, YouTube has taken a bit of a backseat lately. But still a lot going on.
The next entry in Sex in Star Trek is still in editing, and I’m aiming for a June release.
I’m planning a video on Star Wars: Andor Season 2, because I’ve got a lot of thoughts—complicated ones! Even when I don’t love all the choices this season, I find them fascinating to dig into.
I’m also working on Aranock’s Androids in Sci-Fi script, which is going to be so good once we finish it.
I’ve got a few other queer/trans-focused scripts in the works, but they’re still in the early development phase while I juggle the bigger stuff.
It’s a slower pace than usual, but I promise it’s worth the wait—and as always, thank you so much for your patience and trust.
Oh, and of course, don’t forget:
New episodes of Frak This Podcast with Vera!
Reviews on my secondary channel for Andor, The Last of Us, Doctor Who, and soon Strange New Worlds!
WRAPPING UP
So yeah... busy busy busy. I’m trying to prioritize staying healthy, but this past month really put that to the test with so many deadlines crashing into each other.
Erin and I have also, as I mentioned last month, been talking seriously about leaving the U.S. given everything. We've even reached out to a few immigration lawyers for just some thoughts on first steps. But between her working toward her CPA and both of us being busy, it’s also been hard—but it’s something we’re working on.
But on top of all of that, I feel so much guilt about not doing enough to support trans rights publicly right now. I know I’m already doing a lot. I know it’s not all on me. But still... I feel it.
So again: thank you. I hope I’m living up to the trust and support you’ve given me. I’m sending so much love to each and every one of you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for helping me be here.
With all my heart,
Jessie
Oh also, here's the discord link for those who need it! https://discord.gg/ZpPA2PHv
Comments
Mica Strong
Jessie, thank you for all you do and continue to do. I echo what so many other people have said here, to try not to feel guilty about "not doing enough." You've spoken on your channel many times about the importance of art in various ways; you're doing it now! You're doing the important art! That is something to be so proud of. On a more personal note, you were one of the people I came across as I was deconstructing from fundamentalist Christianity, and the most helpful thing to help me understand and accept trans people was seeing you just existing as a trans person geeking out over Star Trek. It's easy when you're in an isolated bubble like I was to "other" people, see them only as their identities and say "how weird." But even more helpful than hearing statistics and data was seeing you, a trans person happy who you are, talking about things that give you joy. It made me see that of course trans people are just like me, with hobbies and passions too. And now I've come to realize that I myself am bisexual and gender queer. Funny how life works sometimes. Please believe me when I say: just existing as yourself is enough. It was for me.
Vicky P
Wonderful to hear your updates; your writing about the perils of the internet (even in spaces that are affirming) really resonated with me. I'm based in the UK and leaving has also crossed my mind... where are you considering moving to? Can we all start a queer, socialist commune on an independent island somewhere?!
Foreign Man in a Foreign Land
I love and adore you, Jess ❤️ I'm so proud and happy that you're making the work YOU want to make.
remmedy - they them
I agree with the others! I’m here to support you in whatever you do, and it has nothing to do with output. I’m so glad you’re taking care of yourself. 💛
POMMERA Pierre-Emmanuel
It's hard enough to stay positiv in those times but you succeed when others don't. I can understand what you're saying about not doing enough for your community. Sometimes I tell myself I should do something as well, but we are humans and sometimes we need to take care of ourself. We can't help anyone if we're not well, can we ? Take care !
Haselwoelfchen
I actually got pretty excited reading about all the stuff your working on! So many cool things to watch in the future. I backed Long Away and I hope my best friend will watch it with me.
Jeni
More of the please don't feel guilty from me
Jolene Wee
I second all the other commenters, though I understand emotions don't see logic especially now when everything and everyone is having it rough If it helps, I literally can't watch your content on a day to day basis so I save them for when I have the time or when it's a particularly bad day and the world has hit me real hard. It always helps, it never once didn't. And even if I finish your backlog of content that's already put out (which I doubt is ever possible I'ma be honest), there's still videos that you've put out that are worth sitting through and rewatching again I assure you you have put enough content, especially your type that takes so much time and effort to do so. If people really need a coverage and summary of what's going on currently, plenty of other creators have covered it, you don't have to do everything (If you still plan to cover it, go ahead! I'll love to hear your take on it, I always will. Just mentioning that you don't have to do that right now)
Julian
Please don't feel guilty.
Adam Myers
I second all three other commenters. Jessie, you’re remarkable. Don’t ever doubt it. Taking care of yourself doesn’t make you any less remarkable. And for what it’s worth, the impact you’ve had throughout the years is bigger than most, and the ripples from your hard work up to this point still have yet to fully settle. Just because you’re not speaking up as much right this second doesn’t mean what you’ve done up until now has been meaningless, or that the work you’re doing outside of direct activism and YouTube won’t have a positive impact on the world.
