Jessie Earl
patreon
August 2025 Update & Discord link
🕑 Added 2025-08-01 19:54:10 +0000 UTCHey all! It's already August, which is... why is time so damn fast? I feel like I JUST got back from filming in New York City a week ago, but it's been a whole damn month. This month's update is going to be a bit less project-driven because I mainly spent July playing catch-up and dealing with a lot of emotions. But I'll start with the bright stuff! First and foremost, again - thank you for your support <3 Y'all are amazing. TBH, I know a lot of folks are dealing with financial stresses right now, so please know your support means a ton to me. Like an absolute ton for reasons I'll get to in a second. Warning - this one does get a bit rough, though not specific.
On the brighter side, I’m almost done with a MASSIVE Star Trek video—hopefully wrapping it tomorrow! It’s in the vein of my "Sex in Star Trek" series, and yes, it’s four hours long. I’ll be posting a sneak peek for you tomorrow, and aiming for a full release next week. That said, I’ll likely wait to release it publicly until September or October, for reasons I’ll explain in a sec.
So—about YouTube. My last video, The Violence of the Archive, didn’t perform well. And emotionally, that stung—because that video was really personal. It’s starting to pick up now, but it got copyright claimed by Warner Bros (for a clip from Sinners). I disputed it and won, but while it was under review, the video couldn’t run ads. So even though it’s now monetized, I lost all ad revenue during that critical first window. So overall, it was really difficult.
There are a bunch of reasons it probably underperformed: it’s long, it’s heavy, and it deals with difficult political subjects. The lack of monetization at the start probably also hurt it given that YouTube doesn't promote non-monitized videos as well. But I also learned that some creators discussing “controversial” topics have been getting quietly shadowbanned. I don’t know how widespread it is, but I can say this: the moment I removed the word fascism from the title and metadata, the video started getting more views. Which is... really depressing, considering how crucial that topic is right now.
Being frank, given where Erin (my fiancée) and I are at right now, I need to focus on making things financially work, so I'm gonna try and make my next two videos at least decent algorithm bait and get them out faster. Hence why I'm going to hold on the big four-hour video that I know will likely do ok if it comes after some successful videos, but might just fall flat if I release it right now. I’m working on one about the Paramount+/Skydance merger, since it ties into both Trump and Star Trek. It lets me talk politics without directly “talking politics.” I’ve also got videos coming up on Fantastic Four, Superman, and a few other fun things—still thoughtful, still hopeful (as I try to make all my videos), but more accessible.
TLDR: The big 4-hour Star Trek video will drop early on Patreon in about a week (maybe even two months early!), and I’m planning a few shorter, fun videos this month as well.
But also being frank, I've been really emotionally, just having a hard time. I'm trying to create and make art, but the world right now is hitting me really hard. It's not just the YouTube channel being in a tough spot and politics being generally challenging right now... I'm somewhat devastated by the state of much of online discourse, which is where I make my living. It seems to me that it's become very toxic, with a lot of infighting among groups because everyone is hurting and scared right now (understandably so). I feel so many people are reacting instinctively, often out of hurt, anger, or fear, which makes it hard to build solidarity and community. Which, given that so much of my writing and work and just who I am as a human being is built on writing about community, care, and navigating lines of friction and pain, is really hard to watch and at times to be adjacent to or within as a public figure. I'm seeing how it's affecting my friends - both other creators and just people dealing with the world right now. No one, especially me, is handling any of this well because it's impossible to, and I want to give people grace.
I honestly had a breakdown a few days ago about it in front of Erin. I won't go into specifics, but it was a hard night. Professionally, it's hard to write from a place of passion, of hope and care for others, and reaching for a better tomorrow, which is so core to who I am, as it feels so far away in so many respects right now.
So I've been actively trying to engage and create a community around me. To build family and reach out more than I used to. But it's hard. But I think so necessary right now. There IS hope is hard times, there always is. I don't want to be doomeristic, it's not only not helpful - it's antithetical to who I am. So I'm working on refinding that, but it's hard given everything. But stuff like Superman and, more seriously, things in my life have helped with that. There is still love and hope and dreams. I just gotta struggle with it a bit more than usual. I'm trying to grow and write more beautifully, and with hope, but just trying to find that voice is hard. Trying to find it while dealing with career and financial pressures is also hard.
Speaking of which, Erin and I are planning to start streaming again this month! Some gaming streams, probably next week. It’ll be fun—and also, honestly, helpful financially. Things have been tight. I’ve thought about making a video to talk about that, but I hate asking for help directly. It just makes me uncomfortable, even though I fully support others doing it. So… we’ll see.
Anyway, thanks for letting me share all of this. The short version: It’s been a tough stretch. I’ve got exciting stuff coming. I also am still aiming for hope - to always focus on hope - because that's just who I am, and what I have to give. But to give that earnestly and not just superficially is difficult right now, but I'll get there. And I’m also learning to wear the “business hat” a bit more so I can keep doing this sustainably (even if I do keep making ridiculous four-hour Star Trek videos—because they do bring me joy, and no regrets there).
Thank you all, seriously. I could not do this without you. You’re helping keep Erin and me afloat—not just financially, but emotionally. It means the world. Keep an eye out tomorrow (or maybe later today!) for a little Star Trek skit I’m posting. It features a familiar face and is a fun preview of the full video essay to come. I hope it makes you smile. 💙
Also, here's the Discord link for those that need it - https://discord.gg/xctJvfCC
Comments
Moonflower_Gal
Where will the livestream link appear? Just wondering so that I can keep my eyes peeled for it 👀
Journey Keeper
The world is just heavy right now. Those of us that are still able to carry it, are doing it slowly while resting often. There is nothing that is going to make anything better right now. We do what we do. I am thinking of you in the US. I am from South Africa and only recently able to support your channel financially. Our exchange rate is crap and tariffs for SA starts this month. I remind myself that everything is falling apart because the systemic rot needs to be removed. Sometimes it makes it easier, sometimes not. Anyway: I absolutely love your newest video. Heavy, but so many nuggets I just want to scoop out and keep on my altar (of broken dreams?). Your work is appreciated.
