Author Frank Morin
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Ch 26 - Where's the Beef?
🕑 Added 2024-10-10 18:38:10 +0000 UTCI angled away from Tony and Ruby, heading into the field on a circular course to approach the cows from the north flank. Tony and Ruby continued along the fringes of the trees. Ruby barely seemed to notice I had left. Her entire focus was on Tony.
I squashed a flash of annoyance. She was on my team, not his. Sure, he was famous, she knew him from before, and he acted with the confidence of a natural born leader. I appreciated that, but not the fact that Ruby seemed to have forgotten we were about to enter a fight for our lives against no less than 50 monsters with unknown elemental powers. She could catch up with an old friend later. Now she needed to focus, or she could get hurt.
With an effort, I push those distracting thoughts aside and focused on my mission. Ruby would get her head in the game. As much as Tony annoyed me, he did seem competent. He’d keep her safe.
Behind me, Steve and Clint would begin their approach of the cows in a few minutes. Crouching low, I kept below the tall grass just like we had on the way across earlier. I knew we could circumvent the cows without getting noticed if we kept at least 100 yards out. Now I needed to find out if I could get closer than 75.
As I circled the herd, I stood to survey my targets every time I passed one of the rare clumps of tall bushes. The cows did not seem to notice us yet. If they were standing on all fours, I would swear they were just normal stupid Earth cows.
They clearly weren't, so I could not risk underestimating them. Every monster I'd encountered so far had displayed shocking readiness to kill anyone they encountered. We had a decent plan, but it could easily go badly wrong.
Over the next 7 or 8 minutes, I circled two-thirds of the herd, and started coming in on the north flank, heading for a couple of cows that were separated a bit from the rest of the herd. The bulk of the herd was concentrated in the middle of the group, and their entire formation formed a rough diamond shape, with one point aiming at the archers and the other back in the direction we had originally come from.
Once I closed to within 100 yards, I activated Mirror Cloak and the world turned monochrome. With a little more confidence, I stood a little taller, just enough to see over the tops of the waving grasses. Still no reaction from the cows.
Aware of every second ticking by, I crept closer, trying to find a balance between enough speed to get into position in time and not wrecking my cloaking or giving myself away. I figured I had about a minute left when I drew to within 50 yards of my targets.
One of the cows I was targeting looked up then, scanning in my direction. I froze, barely allowing myself to breathe.
I wasn't sure if they had sensed my movement or heard something or smelled something, but after a few seconds, the 2 cows lost interest and started ripping chunks of grass out with their surprisingly humanlike hands to munch while they kept watch. They chatted about random things and that close, I could hear more of the words.
One of them was complaining about wanting more clover and wishing they could head down to the main valley without waiting for the escort. The other started gushing about how she couldn't wait to see the bulls again.
Hmm. Bulls could be a problem. All I saw were female cows. I hadn't considered there would probably be a bunch of bulls too. From their conversation, it sounded like the bulls move separately and would periodically return to escort the cows to different pastures.
‘They’d better not show up now.’ The cows alone would be difficult to defeat.
I risked another slow step and neither of the cows reacted, so I slowly continued to creep closer. I paid attention to the occasional gusts of wind, fearing my scent would give me away, but the wind seemed to be in my favor so I dared approaching closer still.
I had gotten to within about 30 yards of the 2 sentry cows when that same alert one abruptly snapped her head up and stared directly at me. Again I froze, holding my breath, resisting the urge to crouch down. Mirror Cloak should keep me invisible.
The second cow noticed the first cow’s attention and lifted her spear into a ready position. It was so random seeing real looking cows standing on their haunches but wielding spears in humanlike hands. It was hard to wrap my brain around it.
That close, I could see more details of their spears. All of them looked identical. Six-foot shafts of steel, capped with silvery heads that gleamed in the sunlight. Did they have some kind of enchantment? That could be bad for us.
The 2 sentry cows started slowly moving in my direction, scanning the area with obvious intent. The fact that they kept scanning all around me suggested they had not pinpointed my location.
Identify still stated that they had some kind of earth manipulation powers, but it seemed that their sensitivity to the earth wasn't as developed as I feared. They couldn’t tell I was standing on that patch of ground. That was a relief, but the 2 cows were still steadily drawing closer.
They approached to within 10 yards, close enough that I could clearly see their big bovine eyes darting all around and their nostrils flaring. Their long tongs flickered out regularly to lick all the way up into those giant nostrils.
I remembered seeing cows on Earth do that. I thought it was disgusting then, and it was even grosser watching the more humanoid cows do it.
I tensed, ready to spring, when all of a sudden the first cow locked her eyes on my position. I could tell she still couldn't see me, but somehow she had sensed me. Her spear lifted and she charged, crossing the distance in a flash before lunging and thrusting her spear forward with surprising skill.
I yanked Soulrend out of my inventory into my right hand and my fighting stick into my left. With my stick, I deflected the stabbing spear so it slashed just past my shoulder while I stepped forward and thrust Soulrend into the surprised cow’s throat.
She didn't see the move until it was too late, and her huge eyes widened farther as my blade severed her spirit right in the neck. I retracted the weapon and froze.
My movements had been minimal and quick, so my Mirror Cloak should not have more than rippled. The second cow could not see me clearly because the first cow blocked her line of sight.
The first cow collapsed. The second cow mood in alarm and trotted closer. It translated as a shout. "Bessie, what happened?"
Bessie? Really? That had to be a quirk of the translation. There was no way intergalactic humanoid magical cows would be named Bessie.
The second cow raised her spear, but hesitated. She clearly had not sensed me the way Bessie had. In that second, moos of alarm rang out from the front of the herd as the first of the arrows from the archers pierced into their ranks.
I did not see the arrows strike, but the distraction was perfectly timed. The rest of the herd oriented on the shouts and cries of pain to the front, and even the cow close to me spun to look, just for a second.
That was one second too long.
I lunged and slashed her throat too. She collapsed on top of Bessie.
I crouched in the grass, snatched up both of their spears and dumped them into my inventory, then touched both bodies. I ignored the notifications I received and just accepted the prompt to loot.
Not waiting for the bodies to dissolve into stinky black smoke, I dashed toward the rear of the herd, crouching low. I dropped my cloaking. I was moving too fast and trusted to the grasses to keep me concealed. The herd was bunching up, all focused on the archers, who continued to fire. I caught a glimpse of arrows flashing in the sunlight.
In seconds, I closed on the rear of the herd, but the ground began to rumble. I kept running, scanning the ground, afraid the cows had found me and were finally unleashing their magic. The ground shook harder and knocked me down to one knee. Then it rose under me and started accelerating toward the west and the archers.
"This is not good," I muttered as I risked standing taller to see what was going on.
It was worse than not good.
The entire herd had bunched up in a single body and the ground underneath them and out to about 20 yards all around had lifted like a giant earthen pillar. All together, we were accelerating toward the archers. I had gotten just barely close enough to the rear of the herd to reach the outer edge of the pillar.
Earth started crumbling off and falling away, nearly taking me with it so I scrambled forward, closing on the cows at the rear of the herd. They did not notice me, but were all focused on what seemed to be a herd-wide spell to move the earth.
The rear of the pillar where I stood was slightly higher than the front so I could see across the western half of the meadow and easily spotted Steve and Clint sprinting for dear life back to the trees. We were closing on them fast, but it looked like they would make it to the trees.
Time to sow a little chaos. With the cows distracted, I sprinted forward and slipped among the cows at the back. I rushed in, barely slowing as I slashed out to both sides. Soulrend snaked out with ever step, and with every slash, I severed a cow's neck.
In 3 seconds, I dispatched half a dozen cows before the rest of them realized there was danger in their midst. One cow started to moo a warning just before I took its head, but the warning rang out from many more throats.
Another half dozen cows all spun to face me and the pillar of earth we rode on groaned and noticeably slowed. It definitely was a herd-level spell and between the cows I killed and the ones I distracted, it barely held together.
Cows lunged at me from all sides and I activated Energy Ward. The glowing golden aura wrapped me in its protective shell, helping to deflect silver-tipped spears stabbing in from every side.
I moved with it, dodging what spears I could and rolling with the pressure I felt as my aura worked to deflect other weapons. I could feel each time energy formed to deflect a spear, giving me a clue as to which way I should dodge to make the aura most effective.
With that help, I dodged and twisted and even jumped into a sideways flip as the cows slashed and stabbed in a frenzy. I batted more spears away with my fighting stick and used every opening to slash at necks, legs, and hands gripping the spears.
Weapons tumbled away on all sides as cows collapsed either dead or maimed. In 3 more seconds, I broke their charge and dispatched all 6 of them.
At the same time, the pillar of earth slammed into the first of the trees at the edge of the field. The impact was surprisingly gentle as the earthen pillar simply wrapped around the trees and slowed. The leading elements of the herd charged into the trees, hunting the archers.
As soon as the earth stopped moving, battle cries erupted from both the north and the south as our 2 other teams leaped into the fray. From the north, Tony rushed in, his hands glowing silver like he had summoned steel gauntlets, a sword in hand.
I could've sworn I heard him shouting, "For Narnia!"
That was ridiculous. He was on team Avengers. His battle cry ended up little more than a wordless shout, but I still smiled as I thought about what it could've been.
He tore into the cows, dispatching a couple of them with slashes and stabs of his sword before a dozen more bovines formed into a half-circle facing him, all their spears leveled together.
They had the advantage of reach and lots of friends, so they forced him steadily back. His sword flashed with remarkable speed as he deflected several stabbing spears every second. He really did have some pretty amazing skills.
Then 1 of the cows facing him stumbled, its spear wavering. He tried to take advantage of the weakness, but the other cows blocked him, forcing him to retreat again.
Another cow stumbled, then a third.
I spotted Ruby trailing Tony by about 10 paces. She had her blowgun to her lips, and it looked like she was putting it to good use.
On the south side of the herd, Scott led the charge, roaring like a Viking berserker. He swung a six-foot club made from a thick tree branch. As he closed on the cows, his shirtless torso swelled like he had some kind of Hulk ability.
His steps turned ponderous and he swept his club through the ranks of the cows scrambling to block him. Spears were flung aside as he broke their defense and shoulder-checked 2 of the cows right off their feet.
Behind him, Natasha sprinted in, metal bracers sparkling. She jumped between 2 of the cows distracted by Scott’s charge, hands extending to tap them lightly. Flashes of electricity marked the discharge of power, and both cows collapsed to the ground, twitching.
Other cows rushed in to stop her, but she flipped between them and I lost sight of her. Sally charged in behind, shield up, carrying a much shorter spear in her right hand. She moved to flank Scott, fending off as many cows as she could to protect his back as he continued rampaging through the edges of the herd.
The initial onslaught was proving very effective, but there were still a lot of cows and they reformed their ranks with surprising discipline. Enough of them intercepted Tony that he was unable to make more forward progress, and a couple more even circled around to go after Ruby.
Scott had devastated one side of the herd, but a wall of angry cows soon formed to block him. His Hulk-sized form shrank, so he lost the edge in pure raw force. Too bad that spell didn’t last longer, but the tide of battle was turning against us.
The archers reengaged, and luckily I seemed to have been forgotten at the rear of the pack. I studied the battle, considering how best to help my teammates. I could rush in again with Soulrend, but that wouldn't do enough damage quickly enough.
As I studied the herd, their movements clicked into place and got an idea. Sprinting to my right, I lined up with the wall of cows hemming in Tony. The initial semi circle had momentarily fallen into an almost perfectly straight line, with a dozen cows standing shoulder to shoulder, spears pointed at Tony.
The cows were taller than me, so I jumped, pointed my fighting stick, and triggered the Titan Strike spell I’d gotten in that pack of single-use spell scrolls.
“Titan Strike. Spell. Pure force. Unleash an invisible wall of force. Adjust the size of the wall up to 5 yards square. Force dispersed evenly throughout the entire wall. Mana cost: Moderate.”
An enormous wave of pure force erupted out of me, rolled up my fighting stick, and blasted out toward the cows. Instead of dispersing the force widely, I concentrated it into a beam of force half the width of my fighting stick. All that energy concentrated into that tiny area of about half an inch and blasted out in a bar of force so dense, it could punch through steel walls.
Punching through a dozen cow skulls proved to be no trouble at all.
At the same time, a bolt of ice blasted into the ranks of cows from the front. Steve had unleashed his elemental spell. A wave of ice rolled over the cows as the entire line of bovines facing Tony collapsed. Their heads all exploded in a gory eruption of blood and gray matter from my spell.
Tony and Ruby stared in shock for a moment before Tony shook himself and dashed toward the backs of the cows facing the rest of his team. The cows on the other side did not realize what had happened until Tony dove into their ranks, sword slashing wildly. His teammates took advantage of the resulting confusion to drive forward again.
Steve and Clint kept up their rain of devastating arrows, taking down one cow after another. I rushed into the confused mass of cows at the back of the pack and got back to work with Soulrend. In a matter of seconds, we finished destroying the entire herd.
