rexx
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Apologies
🕑 Added 2021-12-07 23:23:16 +0000 UTCDon't think it's been a secret (harhar) but my mental health has not been great the last year and a half to two years. It's a constant roller-coaster where I feel decent one day and beyond the pale the next. This has delayed pretty much all my plans for this year, from videos I wanted to finish to other projects and ideas, to commissions I really should get done. It's been terrible, and I have been getting counseling to help with the depression.
As you have seen, I have tried out new things to get past this, like the pose box and RoR to allow myself more freedom, to many things I never even talked about, but nothing has really worked. One of the few things that kept me sane was just doing random stuff on my own, which you may notice in the archive draft folder using forbidden models. If your looking for some nostalgia, check out that archive for personal stuff you may see a lot of a certain horned lady in there.
In the end though I kind of killed this place. Interest is low, subscriptions are down, and I am not making enough money to survive. I took on a graveyard job part time to fill the gaps, but even that won't be sustainable at the rate I lose you guys every month, and the loss of sleep is kind of killing me too.
So I thought about why I keep going back to the old models. It's not the lore or setting anymore, as I stopped playing that game a long time ago now. It's really the OCs, the attachment to my own characters and own stories that I was able to mingle with other characters and mesh with the styling. As you know, I wanted to create my own fantasy setting, but lack of time, will, and savings prevented that from really happening and each month I lost more of you it just seemed like a farther and farther dream.
Have an idea though, and I wanted your guys input.
The last three weeks I have done some intense scouring of the net and have found a load of resources I can use inside Unreal for both movies and interactive scenes. My idea is to have two "Unreal Projects" that I can just animate and stick stuff in. One will be based on FF14, as I showed before, but the other will use outside resources to create a sort of pocket dungeon that I can just run wild with. It will have new OCs I design and play with, but also can have tons of cameos from other franchises, like LoL, Witcher, etc, being pulled through, like a multi-verse.
This won't replace the videos, which I still plan to do and post publicly, but instead will be something extra I do on my own time, with little quick videos I will post on my main twitter only and interactive downloads that will be exclusive for you guys. If this works out, maybe I can turn it into a game, or a full setting, who knows. What you guys think?
Anyways, for those that have stuck with me since I started to lose it, thank you, and I hope I can be better for all of you starting next year. Jinx will be soon.
Comments
Toulon
Don't be too pushy to yourself mate, we're all on the road of this wonderful advanture of life while sometime it is going low and later moving high again, it is an honor to accompany you on this Rexx, and hope you a warm and peace chrismas. :))
Ner'rull
Wish everyone a Merry Christmas and or Foye Holidays. Stay healthy, have fun, treat yourself and others properly.
Ner'rull
Don't know sounds to me like you're stuck on the one hand you want to do something new on the other, but you don't have enough motivation to really pull it off, and that at origin OC want to stay deep inside you ^^. and now try something new with the solid where everything is included. looks to me white a stew where you can throw everything in what you want and at the bottom a low-throat porridge comes out that not everyone will taste. Boy do what you think is best for you you have to find the fun in it again and if the fun for you has more to do with your origins character who doesn’t talk to you. it's like writing steller under musicians try not to force it to let the ghosts and gretivity flow.
Aylee
I believe that most of us who remain here are going to be content with whatever gets your boat afloat, Rexx! Go for it. ^-^
Daikaiju
Find your joy, wherever that may be.
Emanuele Martis
I'm still looking for the future, boss. I can't talk for the others, but i still believe in your skills and works.
Gato909
I do wanna see where this goes.
I just wanna add that I think its good you got a part-time job. Even though it might seem a bit shit, it can be good to get out of the house sometimes cause it can help with creativity to change up physical reality. Cause your brain has to adapt to the new environment. Some of the greatest inventions were created when someone was sitting bored at a job that gave them time to think as an example (think that story was Einstein, when he worked at a boring notary). I think the idea of a static place you can stick characters in at will when you get an idea.
Spectral Waltz
Chase those dreams.
infernalperson
Go for it, especially if it interests you.
bobbert21
Yup I’m all in - I can totally afford the $2 / month - let’s see where this takes us.
Lowmaine
Yes, absolutely yes. This sounds like an awesome idea!
