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Chapter LII – He that is without weaponry among you.
🕑 Added 2023-08-23 10:05:11 +0000 UTC
In the depths of some nondescript forest in the middle of Northern Gemeinplatz, a trio of people were in trouble. Ranging from John Brown the 19th century radical abolitionist to Ayomide the 59th century magical catgirl abolitionist, theirs was quite the diverse group to be in trouble. Surrounded by eleven men who looked like what would happen if the unholy union between a generic low-level JRPG baddie and a generic WRPG bandit mob met and fell in love with the looters from a certain Strategy-RPG name involving mounts and blades. No matter their greatly disheveled and slovenly state, a group of eleven angry men was still a group of eleven angry men, one short of being twelve angry men but they were a bunch of angry men looking to judge the value of someone’s life (in the slave market) nonetheless.
“Alright, alright, no need to lose your cool gentlemen.” Ayomide dropped her dagger to the ground, while her comrades-in-arms watched her in shock.
Brown angrily whispered towards Ayomide, making sure the bandits weren’t hearing her. “Young lady, you don’t need to-”
“Be calm, trust in ‘God’s plan’ or whatever, and both of you shut your eyes when the time comes.” The catgirl turned back to the bandits surrounding them. She took out the green gem she had looted in the dungeon. “Would this do instead of me?”
“Ayomide, they’re thieves! You aren’t expecting to negotiate with them, aren’t you?!” Shinasi wasn’t whispering, he was brazenly shouting to let the thieves hear his totally genuine concern. “I had to sell my family’s heirloom golden… um… brush to buy that for you!”
The bandits laughed when they heard Shinasi plead for financial mercy. It looked like they had hit the jackpot, first they’d get the big precious-looking gem, then they’d get the small precious-looking catgirl. “Give it to us, then you can go.” Their leader was amazed by the sheer naïveté shown by the catgirl, were all darkskins this dumb?
“Thank you for your generous grace, sir.” Ayomide sluggishly approached the bandit leader, holding the gem right towards his face. Her hand covered the faces of the gem facing towards her and her comrades. The leader lowered his weapon and stared at the gem intently, his wide smile reflected on the green glassy surface. Unfortunately, Ayomide was so rude as to interrupt a man’s smile. “[Flash Bang]!”
The spell did what its name implied: a flash and a bang. First came a concentrated burst of light magic towards the semi-circle of bandits surrounding Brown and co., temporarily (perhaps even permanently) blinding them. The bandit leader had it worst out of all of them as his eyes were wide open and right in front of the magic. Then came the bang part of the flash-and-bang, where an explosion of wind magic (concentrated in one direction as to not harm one’s allies) bursts forth to create the aforementioned “Bang!” The effects of hearing such a loud sound and having bright light shone right in your eyes are intuitive, many would agree that having a sparkling magical gem go “Bang!” next to your face wouldn’t count as a pleasant experience.
In more scientific terms unknown to the people of Gemeinplatz, the sudden burst of light overwhelms one’s photoreceptor cells making one go temporarily blind (permanently blind if this burst has strong ultraviolet rays which can deal permanent damage, akin to what would happen if you stared at the sun). The loud “Bang!” causes what’s called a “temporary threshold shift”, where sensitivity to lower noises (such as speech, important when you’re a bandit leader) is reduced. A very loud “Bang!” can cause your eardrums to rupture and not work at all, something which might happen if your face is sitting right next to a magical gem operated by a very pissed off magical catgirl. Not to mention the fluid inside your ear, the thing that helps you get a sense of balance, bouncing around and making one feel very sick.
At that moment the bandit leader couldn’t care less about the fancy scientific explanations listed above. All he knew was that his ears were ringing, that he had fallen to the ground after losing his balance and that he had suddenly gone blind. He shouted at his men to get the bastards, but his comrades weren’t in a better state either. They were all rocking their heads, having lost all sense of direction.
“I think that’ll be a bit harder to pull off next time.” shouted Ayomide. She and her comrades standing towards her back were all fine, except for the fact that they were a bit scared after seeing eleven completely healthy men suddenly fall to the ground and begin calling for their mothers.
“Then let us skedaddle before what little wits they hold come back!” Brown didn’t need to agree for their confirmation on this action. Ayomide and Shinasi had begun legging it before he had given any orders, the catgirl only briefly pausing to kick the bandit leader in the groin and spit on his face. Shinasi contributed as well, using the handle of his spear like a pestle before leaving. Brown shouted after them to not needlessly humiliate their enemies in such an unchristian fashion, but it was far too late to try and keep some decency in this family friendly series about a man wanting to enact judgement on all slavers.
Brown and co. began following the markers on the trees, hoping that the bandits would give up. On the contrary, the bandits were furious, pissed-off, and looking for blood. The first one who recovered was already after them, the rest of his comrades following suit in an odd conga line of those who recovered last at the back. Their leader was still absent, probably writhing somewhere on the ground while throwing racial slurs which needn’t be conveyed in text. Shinasi turned his head back, thinking of fighting the one lone guy that was at the front of the conga line. He soon realized that pausing to fight one guy would give time for the rest of the conga line to catch up and make the lone guy not so lone anymore.
Thankfully, the bandits were still disoriented due to being unable to hear and see properly, so they weren’t quick enough to catch up. Some of them had even crashed into trees or tripped on twigs on their wild-abolitionist chase. By the time Brown and co. had exited the forest, the number of angry men after them had dropped to six. Not a number they could claim absolute victory over without bruises, but an amount that Brown was willing to beat up nonetheless. He stopped and turned around towards the bandits, so did Ayomide and Shinasi in preparation for a tough battle.
The first brave soul to lunge forward was a bandit carrying a knife, who charged towards Shinasi in all his lack of wit at the current moment. The adventurer still carried his shield and spear, he lunged his spear forwards to force the man to pause before he swung forward with his shield to bash him right on the cheek. Being involved in more than one street fight back in Azdavay had made him adept at handling lightly equipped opponents with low combat skills and high courage. His opponent fell to the ground before the rest of the group had a chance to properly catch up with Brown and co. Catch up they quickly did however, and now Brown and co. had five angry men to deal with at once. These men stayed far away from Ayomide as they possibly could, but this was not of much use. She didn’t have enough energy left in her to create another flash-bang like the last one, but a few wind spells directed at their legs did a good enough job of making them lose balance at the most inconvenient moments. Like that one guy who ended up tripping right into an unscheduled meeting with the business end of Brown’s fist, or the other who had tripped and bashed his head right onto Shinasi’s shield.
And then there were three, before a gunshot rang out and there were none who weren’t running away. “Shit, it must be the Imperials with those guns!” shouted one bandit as he disappeared off into another forest, all six of them had managed to stay conscious enough to scatter and skedaddle.
Brown collapsed on to the floor, out of breath and way out of the limits of what his old body could manage without a healthy dose of adrenaline. “Oh, thank the Lord, thank the Lord… Oh glory…” He would have begun praying further if not for the fact that he had just heard a gunshot. He shouted towards the general direction of the explosion “Who are you?!”
A woman’s voice shouted back at them from up close. “It is I, Doctor Raban Rabanowicz Rabanow of Kiyelm, monsieur Smith and madame Ayomide!” Soon a familiar figure, flanked by the familiar figure of Watanabe, popped out from behind some conveniently placed boulders. She held a plain wheellock pistol whose barrel was smoking. “We heard some commotion, and I thought that maybe a bit of noise could help you out.” She opened her book, actually a small chest which was designed to look like a book from the inside, and took a bag of gunpowder out of it. The doctor continued to speak while reloading her weapon, a long process which would take more than half a minute. “What brings you here?”
“We were…” Brown hadn’t been ready to give excuses for what they were doing. “…transporting some cargo out of town before a bunch of those men attacked us.”
“I see, a bunch of deplorable thieves.” Rabanowicz rammed a ball of lead and some powder through the barrel of the gun. “We were here due to not having enough money to enter the town due to thieves of the legal kind. They only scoffed when I showed them my silver leaves.” She finished the process of reloading her gun by cocking the wheel mechanism into a safe position with a spanner before putting it back into her “book”. “Me and Watanabe set up a little camp here if you need a rest.”
“Yes. Mister Smith, we’d be very glad to have you here!” announced Watanabe in an exaggerated matter. “Maybe we could have a chat about where the hell we are in more detail?”
Shinasi stopped Brown before he could speak. “Captain, shouldn’t we work to evacuate the goods?”
“If the bandits want them, then they’ve most likely pillaged them by now. If they don’t, then nobody’s coming into that forest other than us.” replied Brown, who was still out of breath. “Do you want us to try to navigate back there in this state, young man?”
“Right.” Shinasi and Ayomide didn’t exactly want to reenter the forest either.
Brown turned back to Rabanowicz and Watanabe “We’ll be glad to sample your hospitality. We all need a rest.”
“Perfect. I have some tea in my bag if you’re interested.” Rabanowicz opened a large knapsack which sat by her waist. She took out two small cups and a bag presumably containing tea. “These are fresh leaves collected from near Sherifeld… Though I can surmise that none of you know where that is.”
Brown had many questions, so did Rabanowicz, and both sides met next to a bonfire to discuss matters related to multiverses.
Comments
The Cabbage Preacher
No problem, Mister Brown. Any plans on coming back from the grave anytime soon?
John Brown
Yoo, thank you so much for popularizing my story!
The Cabbage Preacher
I have no idea what that exactly means, and whether that is a good thing in this case.
why
I feel like you were writing on silly mode in this chapter
