jakebeserials
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The Marshmallow Ranch Gazette
🕑 Added 2023-06-22 19:12:50 +0000 UTCVolume 7, Issue 5 - Thursday, June 22nd, 2023
Howdy patrons!
You may have noticed there wasn't an episode this week. So, what happened?
I'll be honest: a combination of anxiety and poor choices. I've had writer's block for a few years now and I've only recently managed to push past it. I had been hoping that I'd cracked a way to be consistent before restarting the Patreon, but it turns out to be more difficult than I anticipated. The anxiety around my writing comes from a few different places, and I've had to work through them as they pop up.
I identify as asexual in real life, but macrophilia is still my favorite kink. My interests lie a bit left-field of most in the community, though. While it's hot to read a quickie rampage story or indulge in a scene where someone is bullying/teasing a smaller partner, I prefer slower burns and deeper characterization. There has been some wonderful work in the macro serial space these days and my ultimate goal is to be one of those "Mount Rushmore" writers of macro porn. But in order to do that, I have to, you know, write.
It's very difficult for me to write about sex openly. To be honest, I'm not very experienced with it and the whole experience of flirting is one of my biggest blind spots. In a potentially-problematic kink like macro especially, it's a challenge to really focus on a character and present a scenario that doesn't trip a few big red flags. The issues around sex and kink like consent, power dynamics, and objectification are important to me. I don't want to present situations where those boundaries are crossed as something to be emulated.
But can you really write a macro story in which barriers aren't crossed? That's the whole point, some would say! Whether it's violating someone's personal bubble, coercing them into things they wouldn't do otherwise, property destruction or loss of life, most of these stories have a few things others would find problematic -- but that macrophiles find hot. It's hard to find the right balance between advocating for better sexual etiquette and having a giant jerk himself off with someone one-tenth his size.
Anxiety about being open with my kink, making sure the sex is responsible AND interesting, and my general writing ability got the better of me over the last several days so it's made writing very hard. It doesn't help that the job search is heating up, so I've been devoting more time to tracking applications, preparing for interviews, and gaining transferable skills. The husband and I are also being a bit more social these days, and for an introvert like me that can be as draining as it is fun.
Still, the only way out of this predicament is through it. I'll continue to write, and will have Episode 3 of Swiftie's Intergalactic ready by next Tuesday (June 27th). Thanks, everyone, for your patience. I'll see you then!
Comments
Steven Stadnicki
It's interesting to hear that you identify as ace! I've heard (and had) some thoughts about correlations between ace-ishness and 'unrealistic' fetishes like hyper, particularly the notion that having fantasies around things that are completely impossible somewhat mutes the real-world sexual desire. I'm finding myself also kind of leaning into an ace identity and It makes a measure of sense to me.
Piper Malone
I guess since I am not inherently in the macro-sphere of interest (except where it overlays with my kinks) is more intrigued by what you say are the rules of what makes a hot/arousing macro story. I guess I am curious what are the rules that you think must be in such stories and which can be left to the side. I've heard the argument that all kink inherently must press on boundaries because kink, including impossible ones, are inherently transgressive. I suppose that can be true, though I am unsure. As you say it is a thorny topic when it comes to issues of consent, power dynamics, and other issues. While it is great we're talking about them I am sorry it is adding to your blocks. Still, at least you're thinking about them and considering them. I can see how that sort of anxiety would cause a block as well as feeling unsure if you are communicating sexuality in an authentic way. I'd personally suggest, as a slutty person, that it isn't the amount of experience so much as testing what works for a scene and the characters. I'd argue a lot of bad sexual writing comes from more poor word choice and thoughtless framing then the mechanics. You clearly are thinking about how you sound and the presentation. Part of that, like any writing, just has to be handled by beta readers. From what I have seen I think you write sex in an engaging and arousing way, for what it is worth. A part of me wonders if perhaps the block you speak of has ossified in part due to the anxiety of the block itself causing you to focus more on it and the anxiety of writing aspects you're not sure of even if you really enjoy writing. I dont know what a good answer is there, my gut instinct says to power through it, but my gut has a spotty track record.
By the way please don't worry about running 'slow', especially when you are going through as difficult and as energy-draining a time as you are. The only reason to have a schedule is to support you in doing the things you value. If it's only producing misery in you, let the schedule go.
