Post "The IT Crowd - S2 E3 - Moss and The German" by "MandyCaneLane" from patreon

𝙶𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝙼𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚊𝚗

Hiya Mandy! 1:30 yeah thank f8ck windows don’t drag like that anymore! Leaving a trail behind them 😀 That’d be due to the windows NT OS upgrade in the form of windows 2000 that entirely replaced the win95 codebase. And now we have cpu threads dedicated to wiping up all those pesky window trails, and not held up by a non-responsive program 👍 Or in my case, we now use a Mac 😜 15:00 Jen: “German cuisine? …nothing more romantic than a glass of wine and some Schweinefleisch” Sarcasm Mandy, point is - German cuisine doesn’t sound romantic at all now, does it? 15:27 Oh the nervous laughter 😂 20:54 How can you be your own brother? 🤔 What if you’re a conjoined twin, to any degree of separation, you might consider your own identity to include all of you! 🥴 Actually, thanks for an entirely appropriate reaction! Ha! G

Joshyboiiiiii

Why would you jump off a bike you fucking idiot 😂 oh btw I broke my wrist playing football at school proper swallon up and was turning a funky colour. Broke my lil toe playing football with my grandparents dog when I was like 6 ( seems to be a theme here 😂) and I also broke my lil finger running home from school, took basically all the skin on the outside of my finger off across the pavement 😁

Mandy Cane Lane

Also yes, Steven has a brilliant way of writing!!

Mandy Cane Lane

🫣😨😭😭 This was all so painful to read.. I broke my clavical at 14 because I jumped off a bike. Yup, you read that right.

Mandy Cane Lane

Hahahhaha! Very true Paul!!🤣🤣🤣

Mandy Cane Lane

Haha, that sounds complicated🤣

Mandy Cane Lane

"Squeaks" 🤣🤣🤣

Josh Read

Firstt tike was at school playing football. I was badly tackled and ended up with the right one dislocated. Then I dislocated the left trampolining. Rock climbing in Wales at about 18 I dislocated the right one again. 3rd time I fell down stairs. It's been 12 or so years now since it last happened and I can sometimes feel it straining. The worst injury I have ever seen though was in the first year of secondary school during PE. We were doing long jump and a lad split his knee cap by hitting it in the corner of the wooden frame. The scream was like nothing I have ever heard before. Its been 25 years and he still has operations on it 😱

paul

😂

Stevus Minimus

He was fine afterwards, as far as I remember anyway, it was a long time ago. He went to a different high school so haven't seen him in ages. At least since the bronze age. 🤪

Joshyboiiiiii

How's this guy doing now? You should write a book cause I was like 'awww fuck this is quote long' but I was hooked 😂

Stevus

No, definitely not real. You can't break your bum. And I'm pretty sure there are no Salmon in Sth Africa (unless they farm them there now). But, when I was a kid, I broke gobb knows how many fingers and toes, basically just from falling over while running and landing funny, or kicking door frames while running around the house. Not much they can do about toes though. The best broken bone story I have, which is 💯 true, is from primary school (about 7 or 8 y.o.) when a friend of mine broke both his forearms at the same time, while 'playing' a 'game' we made up with the jungle gym. There was a horizontal pole hanging from short metal chains which you were supposed to climb along from one section of the play equipment to another, but at some point we started swinging back and forth on it and then letting go as you swung back and see how far you go backwards. This friend managed an amazingly long distance, but landed HORRIBLY. As stated earlier, he broke BOTH forearms. Both the ulna and the radius of both arms were both snapped clean in two leaving the half of the bones attached to the elbow poking menacingly through ripped flesh and the other half of his forearms with the hands attached, hanging limp and flopping about as he stared in disbelief (along with the rest of us), then balled uncontrollably as the reality of the situation set in and we walked him to the classroom. What is even worse, as horrific as that was, the same friend, in the same year, while the two of us were on bin duty, taking the class rubbish out to the big hopper, found a HUGE light bulb. Thinking back, it must have been about a 1000w, very similar to some grow lights I've seen since. When your like 7 y.o., that's just awesome! We'd never seen one like it before, so we must have it! Don't know what we thought we would do with it, but whatever the case, he slipped over while carrying it and it kind of imploded or exploded or whatever they do, and there was blood everywhere! Both his hands and yes, his forearms again too were completely lacerated, so after having spent months in a double cast from the playtime fun, he now had to spend weeks with both hands completely bandaged up. And yes, that genuinely is all true. Sleep well.

Joshyboiiiiii

I dunno if yours is real Steven 😅 how the hell you managed that josh?

Josh Read

Ive not broken a bone but I dislocated both kneecaps at school and a few times since. The right one still aches in the cold.

𝑭𝒆𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒚 𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆

Gluteus Maximus https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/036/026/biggus.jpg

Stevus

OMG! That's why I've been getting all those weird looks! Egg, and my face, are in alignment.

Stevus Minimus

I once broke my Gluteus Maximus while Salmon fishing in South Africa. I haven't been able to put my socks on properly since. 😔

Josh sloan

Random question of the day. Have you ever broken a bone? If so what and how did it happen?

Josh Read

Happy New year Josh, hope you have a better one dude. 🍺

Josh Read

It certainly looks a beautiful country I've met a few Australians and you are always friendly nice people 🙂

paul

Happy new year! Feliz año! Very important to remember the accent over the "n" there so you're not accidentally wishing people a Happy Anus! 😉

Silly Uncle Andy Farmer

Awwww poor Mandy hehehe, Happy New Year Miss Lane ! Lol! Oh and instead of just keeping fingers and your toes crossed, then try what i do which is to keep my earlobes crossed too! 😉 xx

𝑭𝒆𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒚 𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆

Happy New Year Josh. I hope this year is a better one for you fella.

Joshyboiiiiii

Happy new year everyone ❤️❤️❤️

Stevus

Yes it is thankyou. I feel extremely fortunate to live here. I wish everyone could.

Joshyboiiiiii

I call bullshit, in your dreams mate 😂

Josh Read

Very nice 🙂

Stevus

The merry old land of Oz 🐨

Stevus

Fair point, statistically, with Christmas being very well known and popular as well as a very common theme employed by most TV shows/sitcoms etc, and cannibalism being almost the mirror opposite of that, it was a pretty astute bet she made there. Still pretty optimistic though 😂 OMG! 💡 moment! Could it be that Mandys optimistic outlook is a kind of survival mechanism/coping strategy due to having to live in Argentina, whereas those of us who live in more fortunate circumstances, don't require that so much because everything's generally gonna be pretty good. Just a thought of course.

Josh Read

Well Mandy we do really appreciate that you do and all your hard work 💜

𝑭𝒆𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒚 𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆

Happy New Year Squeaks and everyone here. Have a good night, don't do anything I wouldn't do. All the best🎆🎉 🥳

Josh Read

What part of the world are you in bud?

Josh Read

Yay Mandy 🤗🥳❤️

Stevus

and HNY everyone! 🎉🤳 well it is here anyway. Probably a little early for you lot.

Stevus

I suspect it's only a matter of time before that policy becomes quite difficult to maintain here too. Clearly we all appreciate the effort you do make though. 🤗 Yay Mandy! 🙌💜

Josh Read

Second prettiest after me 😊

Mandy Cane Lane

Hahaha! I was at it for hours indeed. I have a strong 'no comment gets left behind' policy which I am no longer able to apply to Youtube, but I can here. After Patreons stupid update it became super difficult to find them all so I wait a bit for them to accumulate a bit, but I think I waited too long and had a lot 😅🤣

Joshyboiiiiii

He's been wrestling for 30 years or so, quite a big deal but yeah things came out yesterday, a bad man by the looks of it

Joshyboiiiiii

Awww from the that show, never really watched it. Everyone has a face Mandy 😂 you have the prettiest one on the world tho 🥰🥰

Mandy Cane Lane

I have no idea who that is 😳

Mandy Cane Lane

A face!! You have a face!! 🤗 Haha. This is Stitch! https://images.app.goo.gl/qDHK3RmM6dowfSYbA

Joshyboiiiiii

Ooooo look at me I have a girlfriend, grow up josh 😂😂 jk. Whose stitch?

Mandy Cane Lane

In the words of Stitch, "My fanily is small and broken, but it is still good" 😋

paul

And little did she know when she started recording this reaction what the grizzly subject matter would turn out to be. What a trooper!

𝑭𝒆𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒚 𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆

Fact!

Josh Read

She certainly puts in a lot of effort for us. Not many creators do, which is just one of the reasons why she really stands out as the best 🙂

𝑭𝒆𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒚 𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆

Haha, I've just been reading the comments. Judging by the time stamps she was at it for a couple of hours bless.

Josh Read

I love home made potato salad 😋 have a great time with your family Mandy. Me and my girlfriend have rented a cottage with a hot tub for 3 nights we decided to treat ourselves. Josh you look just like my friends son 😲

Josh Read

Wow Mandy, you were very busy last night getting through and replying to so many comments. How long did it take you?

Mike Miner

I think we all need a bonus New Year video of Mandy reading the article, laughing, then re-watching, then laughing more :)

Mike Miner

Your caption for this video says, "Welp I think I made a mistake..."

paul

Hahaha, I like the "drink from the can" solution to the old "is the glass half full or half empty" conundrum. I always drink from the can! And to play devil's advocate, yeah it was unrealistic of her to expect this to be Christmassy, but poor thing, how was she supposed to anticipate it being based on a real life cannibalism case! 😆

Joshyboiiiiii

Noooo you shouldn't work on new years day, fuck Argentina 😂 seems like you have sn amazing family

Mandy Cane Lane

Going to my brothers for a chill bring and share. I made some potato salad. 😃 New Years Day I will probably work 🤪

Mandy Cane Lane

Hahaha, I think with this episode I had good reason 🤣😇

Mandy Cane Lane

Jeehz, it is crazy that this is based on real stuff! The world is a very weird place 🫣

Mandy Cane Lane

I am shocked to learn this was real. What in the heck? Not very Christmassy 😬😅

Mandy Cane Lane

You know what? Life is too grim to not look for the bright side, even when it isn't there. Lol. 😅🤪

Mandy Cane Lane

Hahaha, I actually picked it up from a Scottish friend. Also, never take Jeffrey's comments to heart, they're almost all just silly tomfoolery. - Yes, moving will be stressful, I am not there yet though. I have been a bit ill lately, so maybe that is what you noticed? Either way, I am good fyi 🤪🤗

Mandy Cane Lane

This epsiode was beyond wild 😅😅😅

Joshyboiiiiii

Iconic moment

Joshyboiiiiii

You've gotten through so many comments tonight 😁 been great when the wrestling's been boring in parts today. Fuck Chris Jericho, how he's been able to wrestle after the allegations today 😳

Mandy Cane Lane

HAHAHHAHAHA! Very true! He knew a little too much 😅🤣🤪

Mandy Cane Lane

The copyright bit brought back a lot of memories! Loved how they took it so far! 🤣🤣🤣

Mandy Cane Lane

That is an excellent question. I am currently not sure. I have so much to watch but am curious as to what Mark and Jeremy get into next! 😅

Mandy Cane Lane

Jokes on you guys, I read all of this!! Understood less than half, but still learned all your strange secrets! 🤪

Joshyboiiiiii

You do know nail cutters exist 😂 but like I said if you do put something on them that tastes bad like a spray or cream

Mandy Cane Lane

Hahaha, will try hard not to bit them anymore!

Mandy Cane Lane

Hahahhaha. It is true, I am not biting them! I am fighting to not do so and let them grow. They have gotten a bit longer now and when I go to bite I remember not to and just check that they are still long with my teeth, lol. I need to stop 😅😅

Mandy Cane Lane

Nothing, and I mean NOTHING could have prepared me for this episode, or for finding out that it was based on a real case. What in the heck?

Mandy Cane Lane

😅😅

Mandy Cane Lane

I don't know what you mean by "what mistake?" I no longer remember the context. 😅 But just found out this whole topic is real and it is just so disturbing.... 😖😖😖

Joshyboiiiiii

Some people in here baffle me but I love it 😂

Mandy Cane Lane

Jesus christ, this was REAL!? How awful 😖

Mandy Cane Lane

😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨 Would have never imagined any of that 😖

Joshyboiiiiii

1. I have 2 cats, one big boy and a lil lady. 2. Pizza or spaghetti Bolognese 3. Shitty retail job but quite a bit store so should always be busy but I get my people to do more work 😜 4. Blonde and need a haircut actually 😂

Mandy Cane Lane

1) Do you have any pets and if so what? 2) What is your favorite food? 3) What kind of shop do you work in? 4) What hair color and hairstyle do you have?

Joshyboiiiiii

Awww bollocks 😂😂😂

Mandy Cane Lane

Hahaha! Jeffrey's number 6 was pension, not passion! 🤣🤣🤣

Joshyboiiiiii

Go on call me a stalker 😂

Mandy Cane Lane

🥇🥳

Joshyboiiiiii

Random question of the day, how you celebrating for new years eve and new years day?

Joshyboiiiiii

I'm causing no potential beef, I'm a good boy 😂

Jeffrey44

I can't see who you are replying to Josh because they probably have me on their Patreon ignore list. Who is it? Name names.

DriveIn

The best part about the no swearing policy is that when you do swear it packs so much extra punch! 😁 "what in the f**k!" had me rolling!

Z is for Zed

The weird side of the internet has a thing called 'vore', which (trust me) you don't want to investigate too deeply. I would assume that people who are into it would be the kind of people who sign up to be eaten by cannibals, but I would also assume there aren't very many of them around (what with getting eaten and all).

Dextrous (Lewis)

I'll be your wife, Moss! 🥲 The real-life instance of this cannibal story was also the inspiration for the Rammstein song "Mein Teil". Great song and... fascinating music video, as usual 😆 Thanks Mandy, Merry Christmoss! 🥳

Stevus

Sounds like a good balance, although I guess that sorta depends on whether the "kind of" is in reference to the "functional" bit or the "Edie Hitler" bit. Or both! But you can keep that a mystery if you like. 👍

𝑭𝒆𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒚 𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆

I am kind of a functional Edie Hitler. Without the violence or the racism Lol.

Stevus

So you ARE the guy they based Eddie Hitler on! Do you also have a penchant for extreme violence?

𝑭𝒆𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒚 𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆

It's like you've known me all my life😂😂

Stevus

haha😂 wise words, i can just see you down the pub with your head under the beer tap, mouth open, guzzling Ale, waving the bartender away "no no, don't bother dirtying a glass on my account, i'm just fine here thanks"... SECURITY!!

𝑭𝒆𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒚 𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆

Haha, bless her. She's optimistic, but that's a good thing. Some people think the glass is half empty, some people think the glass is half full. I think why dirty a glass, drink from the can🤷‍♂️.

Joshyboiiiiii

1. Women 2. Yes one of my closest mates whose also a YouTuber and a semi pro cricketer 3. Shouldn't even be a question cause God no

Stevus

It was maybe a bit unrealistic to think a random episode from the middle of a season from years ago might be christmasy? or 'festive' just because it's the holiday season now. But I do admire and appreciate your persistent optimism. 🤗

Josh Read

What scares you the most? Besides the legend that is Mandy, are you a patreon for someone else? Does pineapple go on a pizza?

Benjamin Taylor-Yates

Mate, trust me - I work with em: Scots couldn't care less about cultural appropriation, with the exception of doing their accent badly. 👍👍

Jeffrey44

Arse (or ass as an American would say). Flat (or apartment as an American would say). Wee (or tiny as an American would say*). *Although I have heard Mandy Cane Lane use the word "wee" but it always feels like such disgusting cultural appropriation whenever she does. It makes me sick.

Stevus

Don't worry too much, she's not actually biting them, and it's only the one thumbnail, it's the why all of a sudden that's interesting. I have a theory or two. But also, the action itself is fascinating. It kind of reminds me of when actors are pretending to eat and they play with the food on their plate then get a bit on their fork and almost eat it and put it down and pick it up and wave it about then almost eat it again etc etc... But also how she twists her hand over to almost 'nibble' her thumbnail like that. Sorry again Miss Mandy if you get to reading this. You're hair looks nice, looks like you refreshed the pink/red 🤗🙌💜

Benjamin Taylor-Yates

Poor thing; can tell you're a wee bit stressed. Moving can be a pain in the arse, worse when you have to figure out how to squeeze all your shit into a tiny flat. Been there. 😭

𝑭𝒆𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒚 𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆

I think Benny Hill was big in the states.

paul

Haha, didn't have Snoop down as a Benny Hill fan, what's he like! He handled Emu well. Gotta love that laddy 90s audience chanting "Emu! Emu!" like they're at the football! 😆

paul

I know, I've felt like that for a long time. Unbelievably the nineties are now closer to the sixties than they are to the present. 🫣

paul

For an episode mainly about cannibalism, piracy, germans, russians and smoking, there was a hell of a lot more "answering the front door" based tomfoolery than I remembered!

Mike Miner

Umm I think it's called a "guitar" :) It was awesome how he was really playing. And the German "chicken dance" doorbell in contrast was perfection. Lots of layers to this ep!

paul

Haha, how do you know he can't Jeffrey? 😉

Jeffrey44

You think just because he is German, he can play the cello? That's racist!

paul

I feel like if they'd made this a few years later, Henning Wehn would have crushed it as the German cannibal.

𝑭𝒆𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒚 𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆

He attacked Snoop Dogg as well haha https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYFbKJSU9M8

paul

Hahaha, well maybe Rod/Emu shouldn't have gone after Parky's goolies.

𝑭𝒆𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒚 𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆

You would have thought that Emu could have at least flapped his wings when Rod Hull fell off that roof.

paul

Perhaps the most disturbing thing about this episode was how intimately Roy knew Dominator's toilet habits...

TheHigh

love the copywrite advert in this , one of the best bits from the show along with "some sort of homosexual department" Lol , such a great line! even the shopping cart on the floor at that bus stop made me chuckle , fantastic episode . have a great day/night Mandy 🕊️🖤✌️

paul

Haha, did he wing his way straight back to Keith Harris like a homing pidgeon? 😉

𝑭𝒆𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒚 𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆

Mine pissed off. I got the only one that could fly.

paul

I just hope she never finds out we've all got an Orville... 🙊

paul

That Guardian article is hilarious. Practically every paragraph has got something just a little bit off about it. It says the victim had "a live in girlfriend". Has anyone ever actually said that in real life? It makes her sound like a servant!

𝑭𝒆𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒚 𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆

Don't tell Mandy we all have an emu. It's meant to be a British secret.

paul

Yep, that's how it works! It's a bit like how if you frown too much the wind might change and you get stuck like that forever!

𝑭𝒆𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒚 𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆

Time flies as we get older, the 90s feel like 10 years ago lol.

paul

Hahaha, I know right, who would have thought that Germans could be slightly rigid in their thinking?! The whole article is dripping with sarcasm and absurdity. The neighbours "believed there was nothing odd about the 42-year-old computer expert, whose light burned late into the night inside his creaking mansion". Creaking mansion! Blimey, at the start of the sentence he's just a lonely nerd working from home, by the end we're in horror movie villain territory!

Jeffrey44

What was I watching on television recently that had someone answer the door in this manner? It was something in the last few days but I can't think what it was now. Anyway, it's basically how every British person answers the door.

Hypnobob

I can't help myself :)

Cem

When is Peep Show returning?

paul

Do you remember we were talking about this episode just a few weeks ago? It came round faster than I thought it would!

Mike Miner

It "drives me crazy" when people don't get the reference :)

Hypnobob

So by that logic, the guy from Mandy's 'leg' story bit his own toenails.

Mike Miner

@paul Yeah, exactly right. If you don't know about this story, this is going to be a very confusing episode! Just re-read the article myself and... well, there's a reason people say truth is stranger than fiction! The whole thing is so bizarre, but this little detail really caught me: "The unprecedented case has proved problematic for German lawyers who discovered that cannibalism is not illegal in Germany."

paul

Wow, had no idea about this, nice!!

𝑭𝒆𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒚 𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆

I sometimes wish I had never seen the stuff Mandy watches, but it is fun knowing what's coming and waiting for her to react.

𝑭𝒆𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒚 𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆

There's somebody at the door. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4xJvxSZ9aI

paul

Wanting to be eaten is the ultimate fate of those who insist on continuing to bite their nails... 😋

paul

I can only think that literally every single person watching Mandy's hopeful intro was pissing themselves laughing knowing what a mad episode was about to come.

paul

Yes, this was a very well known news story at the time and happened quite a few years before this episode was made. That's why the audience immediately grasps what's going on. I think I read that Guardian article back in 2003. Just read it again now and there's a lovely bit of insanity at the end: "Brandes spoke good English, he said, and since eating him his English had improved." So there you go, the benefits of being the victim remain unclear, but one potential benefit for the cannibal is improved modern language skills.

Joshyboiiiiii

Potty mouth again 😂 only just realised how much you bite your nails btw, get some shit on them, don't want the skin around them to be fucked ❤️

𝑭𝒆𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒚 𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆

I was laughing at the intro "Maybe I'll have better luck this time" haha.

Hypnobob

"He was a Fine Young Cannibal."

Lee Dellbridge

What mistake? And if there are people who want to eat someone else then there are always those willing to be eaten. It's probably a sexual thing.

YearRoundHibernater

Don't read if squeamish. In the real case of the German "Master Butcher" the only thing the victim got out of it was to share in eating his own penis with him before he was killed and eaten. Even though technically cannibalism isn't illegal the killing was so he ended up getting life.

Mike Miner

This ep made a lot more sense back when this story was fairly well-known in the news: In Germany, a man placed an ad saying he wanted to eat another human... and someone else actually answered it and they went through with it! https://www.theguardian.com/world/2003/dec/04/germany.lukeharding

Joshyboiiiiii

Thank you Jeffery. 1. Yes I do work in a shop and I'm a member of management so I basically do a bit of everything, I open and close the store, I can be on the till, do orders, handle money etc. 2. Ano it was fucking disgraceful wasn't it, need to sack that useless french dinosaur 😂 3. Yes all the time 4. Android unfortunately but don't need flashy shit in life to get through 5. Fuck the news, fuck the newspapers, only have 1 life so why waste it being scared of the world we live in 6. This is getting morbid now like 😂 I do have a passion but Mandy told me off a few days ago 🤣🤣 jk 7. Nah not at all 8. Didn't know that was a thing tbh 9. Hmm not really, my weight goes up and down a lot, once lost over a stone in less than 3 weeks the first time I had covid 10. Too young but I know it existed, is that the show that killed a guy when he fell from a box to his death? Again thanks for that mate ❤️

Jeffrey44

Great! I've been waiting ages for a Josh AMA. Although, anyone else is also free to answer all, some or none of these questions too. I have numbered them for clarity. 1. Do you work in a shop? What is it like? What kind of things do you do there? 2. Did you see that ludacris display last night? What was Wenger thinking sending Walcott on that early? 3. Do you ever feel that you could do better but lack the motivation to do so? Do you feel that you are waiting for a chance to shine but no one is giving you the opportunity to prove yourself? 4. Do you have an Apple or Android phone? 5. Do you worry about events in the news or do you try to ignore them because you are powerless to change anything? 6. Have you got a pension? Do you worry that you won't ever be able to retire comfortably or do you reckon you'll be okay? 7. Are you a religious man? Which religion are you in to? 8. Do you have anyone on your ignore list on Patreon? 9. Do you maintain a healthy diet? 10. Do you remember Noel's House Party?