Malcolm Tent
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Wish upon the Stars chapter 496
🕑 Added 2023-11-16 22:48:49 +0000 UTCIt didn't take long to fill in the others, and once I was done catching them up we all sat in silence as they digested everything. Benny was the first to say anything. "Why." He groaned. "Does everything we do end up going wrong in the most catastrophic possible fashion."
Callen chuckled. "Those who carry the blood of gods tend to have even more interesting lives than most. But your fate sense would guide you toward dramatic action in any case."
"I knew this was Shane's fault somehow." He said with a sigh. "Whatever, we have to find the others. Celine and I got separated in the fight, and I haven't seen Nat in a while. If there are traitors out there we need to warn them. Another one of those message delivery wishes should do it. How many wishes do you have left today? Actually can you even grant wishes in here?"
I nodded. "I can now. Once we got here I got access again. Well...after I woke up anyway. We only used one so far. Callie wished for a compass to find Jessie. Speaking of which, whatever you wish for, I hope she can be the one to do it, because I desperately need a top up on heal bursts." While I couldn't tell people WHAT to wish for without possibly compromising the fairness of the wish, I could make requests for how I wanted to be paid, and heals were top of my list.
My blonde friend sighed. "Yeah, it's been a while. Sorry I didn't even think about it. You spent months working with Benny and we never had a chance to replenish your supply."
"That's not on you." I said firmly. "I should have considered that I was running low before we came in here. Anyway, who are we looking for next?" I didn't make any suggestions, not wanting to ruin the wish, but Jessie was smart enough to come to the same conclusion I had.
"I wish I had a compass to lead me to where Celine was." She smiled at Benny. "You've been trying way too hard not to talk about her. You normally don't shut up about the girl when she's not around. I know you must be crazy worried. I'll pay with ten charges of heal bursts."
Wish detected. Grant wish?
I exhaled in relief, allowing the familiar electricity to build on my skin as I confirmed the wish. There was the usual sensation of compounding power, then an explosion of purple lightning as another compass manifested, this one greenish gold with leaves all over it. I dropped it in Jessie's hand, feeling the power feedback from where the electricity touched her, refilling my stockpile of heals.
With that done, I was feeling a lot more secure. I'd also refilled from my reserves of triple strength density shifts when I saw Benny, and while I had none leftover, my stockpile had grown to nine. Jessie tossed the compass to my friend, who looked absolutely overjoyed to have a lead on his lady love. I smiled, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, don't worry about Celine. This is the forest, she's probably in a way better position than any of us."
He laughed at that. "True. This is her home turf. She'd been improving just like the rest of us too. She doesn't advertise, but she's been working hard. Training, wishes from Nat. In here she managed break both shackles." He paused. "I mean, we all did, actually. Those steps were no fucking joke. But she had a lot to deal with. I think hers were weighing her down more than most."
Walking over, I gestured for him to follow. We left the others to prepare to break camp while he and I sat down. I didn't need to talk. He had something to get off his chest, and I knew Benny well enough to know that sometimes I needed to shut up and listen.
"What she did to me." He finally said. "To all of us. I forgave her, eventually. Rather than lose her, which would have been worse. But she never forgave herself. As she got closer to me, to Callie and Jessie. The guilt got worse. She was having trouble sleeping. Wasn't eating. It was killing her. I think that's what the whole training thing on the ship was about for me more than anything. I couldn't stand seeing her hurting but I couldn't help."
I blinked at him in shock. "But I didn't even..."
"Notice?" He laughed. "News flash Shane, you're not exactly Mr. Sensitivity. You do ok with Callie, because you're basically plugged into her brain, but I wouldn't call you an overly empathetic person in general." His hands went up as I opened my mouth to respond. "That's not a dig, man. It's just a fact. Your life is nuts, and you get wrapped up in your own stuff. Plus she didn't want you guys to know. She's trained to conceal that kind of shit too, so that made it harder to tell."
I let out a breath. "Damn. But the trials helped? She's...better? She got past it?" I'd been so focused on my own emotional journey and Callie's I'd completely ignored my other friends. What they must have gone through.
"She's getting there." He chuckled. "She came to terms with some things about herself in the maze, and on the steps, that knocked her for a loop. I wasn't there to see the aftermath for too long before we got separated. But I do think this was good for her. I won't tell you what her shackles were. Nobody deserves to have info like that spilled behind their back, maybe someday she'll tell you herself."
Noticing the tone of his voice, I raised an eyebrow. "And what about yours? You gonna tell me what they were? What you needed to free yourself from?" My voice was gentle, trying to make it clear through tone alone that I wouldn't push.
"I...I kind of got swept up in all this." He admitted. "Back when it started, it was exciting. An adventure. But as we went along I started to get left behind. I wasn't your best friend anymore, I was just a tagalong. I wasn't even your sidekick, because you spent all your time with Callie." His eyes widened, as if he'd said something he hadn't meant to. "Not that I don't like Callie. But for a long time it was just you and me."
I blinked at him in surprise. "I didn't know it bothered you." I said slowly. "You seemed fine. You had Celine, and you and Jessie are close and-"
"And they're not my best friend." He said bluntly. He laughed bitterly. "But how selfish is that? With all this crazy shit happening, how much of an asshole would I be to throw a fit because we don't hang out as much anymore. I think that's part of why I jumped into things with Celine so quick. Not that I don't love her. I do. I just...I wanted what you had, I wanted someone to share things with."
I swallowed hard. He was right. I'd been totally ignoring him, so caught up in all the nonsense and craziness. "I didn't mean to." I said quietly. "You're still my best friend, you know that."
"I do." He said. "But I needed to get there on my own. My mind shackle was thinking I wasn't good enough to keep up, and my heart shackle was understanding that just because we're not always together now doesn't mean we aren't still close. Honestly I'm glad you didn't notice. Obliviousness or no, I needed to face this myself to get past it. Same with Celine. I can tell you want to blame yourself for missing it, but don't."
"How the hell can I not?" I snapped, suddenly irrationally angry. Not at him, but at me. I didn't let it control me though. I'd felt worse on the stairs. This was just a quick spike of temper. My voice smoothed out. "I'm the leader." I said more reasonably. "I'm supposed to take care of you guys."
He laughed at that. "In battle maybe." He said sadly. "But you can't solve all our problems for us Shane. Not even with your powers. Wishes can't fix everything. And they shouldn't. Pain makes people stronger. Problems define us. I'm not upset you didn't notice how unhappy I was, because I didn't WANT you to notice. And despite you knowing me better than anyone I know you too. I know how to hide my issues from you better than anybody else. That's the downside to about a decade of friendship."
That wasn't what I wanted to hear. It was fair, and he wasn't wrong, but I hated it. Did I just have to give up on helping my friends. On fixing things for them? Was my power even worth anything if it couldn't do that?
"Oh don't throw a pity party." He snorted in annoyance. "I recognize that brooding silence. Your powers help with the big things. I'm not saying you can't do anything for us. Look at Jessie. After she lost her brother she was...devastated. She put on a brave face, but I don't know if she'd have ever recovered. You gave her the most important gift in the world. You gave her hope. Hope she can see him again, hope she can fix things and be happy again."
I shrugged. "Anyone would have done that. Hell, any candidate could have made her the same promise, and probably followed through faster."
"But they didn't." He retorted. "Why would they? She was nobody. Still is in the grand scheme of things. Sure she's useful at our level, but do you think the Wishmaster gives a shit about some F-ranker? Do you think your dad does? Not a chance. But you do. You care. You're a fucking walking miracle to her. That girl hero worships you. Why do you think she tries so hard to keep everyone happy and functional. To try to take pressure off you."
My eyes widened as I stared at him in shock. "She...she does? I mean I knew she always plays peacemaker, but I figured she just didn't like conflict. She did that when Callie was in charge too."
He rolled his eyes. "Because you adore that girl. The slightest smile from Callie brightens your whole day, and anyone with two working eyes knows it at a glance. Don't get me wrong, Jessie loves her like a sister, but a lot of what she does to keep up all sane and happy she does out of gratitude. Because she doesn't think she can ever repay you for what you're doing for her. Not that she'd ever tell you. She doesn't want to put any pressure on you."
I glanced at Jessie where she was laughing and chatting with Callie as they packed up the tent that I could only assume had been in one of their spatial rings. I wondered what her shackles had been. She and Benny had both hit green (twenty five and twenty percent respectively), so she must have broken them.
But hearing how much she worried about me, and how much she was keeping to herself, I decided not to ask her. If she wanted to share she would, but I wouldn't push. I was happy she'd gotten past them. All of the things I'd learned churned in my head, and I felt...helpless. Which I knew was Benny's point when he told me not to be so self pitying. I sighed, looking to my friend. "Fine. I'll let you deal with your own problems. But you have to ask me if you need help. Promise me."
He smiled at me then, a beaming grin that showed me just how much he was worrying over me. "Promise." He clapped me on the shoulder, standing up and then offering me his hand. "If it means anything though...I'm happy. Getting past my problems was a big step for me and now...now I can just enjoy this awesome life. It's not perfect, but it's pretty fucking amazing." I laughed as I let him pull me to my feet. He wasn't wrong about that.
Comments
Baconwargod
I really wish we could see all of the high rankers collectively shit themselves when all the juniors vanished.
Malcolm Tent
I wanted to explore the fact that the story being first person means he misses things sometimes. We haven't seen Benny as much as we could've, or Celine, and that's because of Shane's focus.
Dylan Alexander
I’m glad that Shane won’t become one of those main characters who want to solve every problem themselves. Some issues should be faced by the characters who have them. It’s good to look out for your friends, but to take on everyone of their woes is stupid.
