Kina Grannis
patreon
back from the dead, and a new song
🕑 Added 2021-04-01 01:11:12 +0000 UTChello dear patrons, and my apologies for the long absence.
it's been an intense time lately, but i think i'm finally (hopefully) turning a corner. i've been slowly emerging from what was probably the scariest period of depression in my life, and wow, i cannot tell you how grateful i am to wake up and feel even remotely normal again. to wake up and not be filled with dread and overwhelm at the thought of getting through another day. two days ago i glimpsed a few hours of feeling good, and it's hard to express what an incredible gift it was to remember what that felt like--that life can be beautiful and peaceful and even joyful. i interrupted jesse in the middle of a zoom writing session to tell him the unbelievable news--"i feel good right now"--and immediately broke down in tears of relief and gratitude. i am not fully out of the woods yet, but i am really hopeful i am getting close. to any of you who have dealt with depression, my heart goes out to you on a whole new level, and a note to anyone currently going through it, some reminders--this will not be forever. you are not alone. please please please let someone in. ask for help. you are worthy and loved and i am so very very sorry you are having to endure this right now.
in other news, the reason i'm temporarily coming out of hiding is to tell you that i released a brand new song with imaginary future last week called "this is love". this one means a whole lot to us and i'm so happy to finally have it out in the world. i've attached the mp3 for you to download, and if you'd like to listen elsewhere, it is, of course, available in all the usual places. (lyrics at the bottom of this post)
i realize i have dropped the ball on quite a many things--a march online hangout, making the signed photo perk available, scheduling unicorn calls. i promise these have not been forgotten, and as soon as i am back on my feet i will be getting back to all of this.
a quick thank you to those of you who have reached out to me over the past couple months to check on me. i know i haven't given you much to work with, but know that your messages were deeply appreciated and helped me feel a bit more connected during a very disconnected time.
i'll probably still be quiet for a time while i see to my mental health returning to a stable place, but i am here, and i am okay, and i am sending heaps and heaps of love and gratitude to you all.
xo
kina
this is love
don't be afraid
of the shadows that have crept across your face
though you feel it's safe
you'd rather not
rather not
we left it behind
burned those bridges one at a time
it hurt to see them fall
we kept a lot
kept a lot
this is water
this is silence
this is failure
this is trust
this is working out the edges
this is learning
this is love
we dream of growing old
running children in the hallways of our home
we'll wait another year
and say goodnight
say goodnight
this is water
this is silence
this is failure
this is trust
this is working out the edges
this is learning
this is love
and maybe after a lifetime
we'll awake to find that we've been hypnotized
just staring at the ceiling
waiting for our bodies to align
this is water
this is silence
this is failure
this is trust
this is working out the edges
this is learning
this is love
Comments
We love you Kina!
I’ve missed seeing your videos on YouTube and have been thinking about you Kina. I’m glad to now be supporting you over here on Patreon. I know how you feel having dealt with depression/anxiety for a long time. I hope you’ll feel much better soon. Ps. this song is so pretty. :)
Dear Kina, wanted to let you know your energy and love is always appreciated and greatly missed. I have your posters on my walls and you're always in my thoughts and hope you know that we all love you and wish you great health. We are literally behind you and hopefully when you need us, underneath you to lift you up like you lift us up. I miss you and hope your mind/body/soul feels better real soon <3
sending a lot of love to all the kinerds needing it today! <3
:) just when I write about water too. I would share it but it's likely as sad as you were once then. Take care
sending you love! and this song is so beautiful <3
💕💕💕
David W
For any Kinerds who may feel anxious about being with others after a period of lockdown Take good care of yourself https://www.rickhanson.net/relax-needless-fear-around-others/
Absolutely beautiful Kina. Sending love and good vibes. Get back on your feet when you can, we'll be here.
thanks for taking care of yourself. <3
Katharina
It's so great to hear from you ❤️ i'm wishing you all the best, take all the time you need to get back on your feet. We'll be here :)
Chee Yeung
Be gentle to yourself, like how you're gentle to your closest. Compassion for myself is how I eventually climbed out my hole.
