AuthorPalt
patreon
A Gamer's Guide 159
🕑 Added 2023-07-31 16:00:41 +0000 UTCDays pass comfortably. Like, unsettlingly comfortably. Just as the beast of fraud said—weird name, I agree—the dogs started willingly dragging themselves out of the water, more and more, with greater frequency over time.
And you know something interesting I learned?
The beast of fraud sleeps! I’m serious!
I asked him about it, and he straight-up told me that he simply enjoyed sleeping. Like, he didn’t need to sleep, he just did it anyway. Like a lunatic. He didn’t drink water or eat, but he told me with all the stonefacedness of a stoic philosopher that sometimes, before I showed up, the God of Harvest would appear in person to give him a big yummy bone to gnaw on while he waited for me to show up. What.
If anything or anybody else had told me this—that a literal god regularly appeared to grant treats and head-pats—I would not have believed them. I would probably also have opened up their skull for a full cranial autopsy to ensure that they actually had a brain in there, though that’s optional.
As a side note, I can say with fairly good accuracy that the beast does not lie. He says truths in a roundabout manner sometimes, but he doesn’t lie. Never.
It’s another one of those things he seems to have been born and raised without, alongside survival instincts and any and all rationality. Then again, maybe I’m expecting too much from a literal hound. Wolf. Beast. Whatever you want to call him.
Of course, as is typical, the drowned dogs don’t stop their pursuit at nighttime. I say nighttime, but that’s only because that’s the time of day when the beast sleeps. Since we’re in a cave, it doesn’t actually mean anything. Either way, I politely interrogated the beast over how I was logically supposed to rest if I got attacked at nighttime, and he told me with actual non-sarcastic politeness that almost all other challenges, no matter the difficulty, are part of a party at this point. As in, they take shifts.
When I asked him why there were so few solo players, he told me frankly that most of them didn’t make it this far, even on easy difficulty. Which is… Well, I should have known, but it was still a bit of a blow.
I mean, if someone else beat the first floor of the Hell Difficulty… I doubt they’d do it with an entourage. They’d be a solo player by default.
And, I admit, at this point, I did blow up a little at the beast of fraud. It wasn’t very mature of me, but I did. Like, you’re telling me that the highest difficulty can only be done solo? That people basically have no choice but to go solo, in a tutorial designed to be defeated in groups? How is that in any way fair?
And, as usual, he’d looked at me like he shouldn’t need to spell out what I already knew. But, for once, he actually said the words, rather than forcing me to accept them myself.
<Whoever told you that the tutorial
was meant to be fair?>
Which is, you know… Yeah. The tutorial isn’t fair, this is the highest difficulty, yadda yadda yadda, but… still! Shouldn’t there at least be a chance? Someone has to be able to do even the higher difficulties solo, right?
Sly as a fox, the beast only grinned at me.
I’m not sure I enjoy how highly he seems to think of me.
Either way, the days passed, I collected purses and coins, and in the end, I finally got the last two coins to fatten the beast fully.
<50/50 purses collected.>
<Drowned Dog (Lv.62) Defeated.>
<[Level Up]>
<You have reached Level 79.>
<Agility has increased by 2.
Strength has increased by 3.
Stamina has increased by 2.
Magic Power has increased by 1.
Cold Protection has increased by 1.
Frostbite Protection has increased by 1.>
As the beast licks its lips after a final metallic meal, I glance at the time.
<Top—Status—Community>
<20:01:54
Day 531>
<The eighteenth attempt will begin in
9:03:58:6>
<The Tutournament will start in
9:03:58:6>
…I wonder what kind of dork would name the tutorial tournament the ‘Tutournament.’ I mean, sure, they clearly saw a chance, and I suppose it’s admirable that they had the gall to actually take it, but still… They really couldn’t call it the tutorial tournament? Seriously? Well, anyhow—
<Tutorial stage,
Hell Difficulty Seventeenth Floor
Boss Stage>
<[Clear Condition]
Descend into the Abyss.>
Oh, that’s vague. Either way, it’s simple enough, so we might as well get on with it. No need to dilly-dally and all that. “Alright beast, time to get—”
The beast clears his throat, standing up fully.
<I accept your bribe of fifty purses.
For this sum and no lesser,
this amount and no more,
I shall allow you a ride upon my back.
With all of my power, I will bring you—>
“Why are you talking like that?” I deadpan.
The beast gives a little huff of annoyance.
<My brothers get to do this speech
almost on the daily. Will you not
grant me the joy to recite these lines
at least once, so that my debt to my creator
may be repaid, at least in part?>
I tap my foot. After a second or so, I relent. I mean, who am I to keep a man-wolf-beast thing from his dramaturgical dreams? Sighing, I wave for him to continue.
The stoic wolf beams as best as such a creature may, and continues his speech. I listen with half an ear. I’m not actually too interested, but it would be rude to tune out fully, so, yeah.
After a while, his speech comes to a close.
<...Now, leap onto mine back,
and I shall bring the both of us
into the depths of this dark abyss.
Come, challenger, and face the… the…>
I stare at him.
A single bead of sweat rolls down his nose.
<...Excuse me.>
As I stare in mild disbelief, the beast pulls a tiny bit of parchment out a pouch on his saddle, almost impaling his chin on the spires of his collar-crown as he does. Unfurling it on the ground, he carefully reads the words, a moment or so later re-rolling it and stuffing it back into the saddle.
<...Come, challenger, and face the darkness!>
Wow. I almost feel like giving him a small ovation purely out of pity. Luckily, I’m able to keep it in. Instead, I give him a thumbs up. “Lead the way, pal.”
I’m not entirely sure what I expected, but for some reason, I’m surprised when he turns his side to me, kneeling down a little for me to hop on. I still mount him, but that’s purely out of instinct.
<Now hold on tightly as I descend.
Keep your head close to my body,
and you may breathe while beneath the water.
And, as I’ve said before, I cannot assist
in defeating the drowned dogs that may
attack us in the darkness. That is your duty.>
“...Yeah. Of course.”
This feels… weirdly grand. I’m actually on a quest now. I didn’t really think about it before, but… I’m going on a small adventure. I’m playing the game the way it’s meant to be played.
I’m not sure how to feel about that.
But before we jump into the abyss, I need to get one more word in. “Remember to take your time diving down, okay? We need to defeat all the dogs. Otherwise there’s no point in killing you.”
The beast smiles.
<Of course.
Now, take a deep breath,
and hold on tight!>
And with those words, it leaps into the abyss.
The darkness swallows us and I instinctively pinch my nose shut, but I realize quickly that there’s no need for that. By some divine providence, there’s like a thin bubble surrounding the nearest parts of the beast, providing us with ample air. That would be one of two large differences when compared to my first visit to this abyss. The second being that this time, we brought one of the glowing crystals along with us. In other words, I can see the drowned dogs as they approach us, all in a swarm. I can’t tell how many there are, but I don’t need to know.
All I need to do is kill them.
Which is pretty simple, on account of how I’ve been killing these things for days now. It’s easy. As long as you can get the purses away from them and feed the coins to the beast of fraud, they die. So that’s what I do.
<Drowned Dog (Lv.62) Defeated.>
<Drowned Dog (Lv.68) Defeated.>
<Drowned Dog (Lv.72) Defeated.>
<Drowned Dog (Lv.70) Defeated.>
<...>
<[Level Up]>
<You have reached Level 80.>
<Agility has increased by 2.
Strength has increased by 1.
Stamina has increased by 3.
Magic Power has increased by 1.
Necrosis Protection has increased by 1.
Oxygen Deficiency Protection has increased by 1.>
<Drowned Dog (Lv.62) Defeated.>
<Drowned Dog (Lv.62) Defeated.>
<...>
In the darkness and its sparse light, it’s impossible to tell the passage of time. I don’t have time to check it, and I don’t need to, either. We’re done when the dogs are dead. Simple as that. And, eventually, they do die. Within time, there are no longer any dogs left to approach us, at which point the beast of fraud confidently increases his swimming speed.
Normally speaking, this would’ve been a good moment to relax. No enemies, no lack of air, no need to do much of anything other than clutch to the saddle. And yet, I didn’t relax. Not that I felt afraid. It was more so the opposite. I was… excited. It’s that simple.
I mean, I was riding an aquatic wolf-beast through darkness at hyper speeds, the two of us rushing through the water as though it was air! I understand cowboys now, and I also understand the Russian desire to ride bears. What would my moose-riding ancestors have to say about this? I don’t know.
What I do know is that when the ride ended and we emerged into a tunnel which led to an air-filled room containing only a single brightly glowing crystal, all I felt was a mild sadness at the ride ending. Nothing else.
I step off his back and look down at the crystal. “That’s it, right? I touch that and I beat the floor?” No response to my rhetorical question, as usual. “Seems simple enough. And, just to be clear, there are no caveats to this, are there? There won’t be any snake to pop out and spook me or a pirate g—ghost to do the same? Because, as I’ve said before, that would be mean and scary and I would hold it against you forever, so I would rather you didn’t—”
Turning around, I find an answer to his lack of response.
Head bowed, eyes downcast, he waits. Neck bared.
I chance a chuckle. “Heh, um, what are you…?”
His eyes briefly glance up at me. I see myself in their icy clearness. Rhetorical question. I know the answer, and he knows it. My hands start to tremble a little. “Aren’t you going to… fight it? I mean, um, you’re still, like, nine whole levels above me. In other words, if we fight, you might win! Then, you can go on living. Wouldn’t that be nice, huh?”
No answer. I glance away from him to look down at the crystal. “Like, don’t get me wrong, I just… Someone else will come along, right? Your precious harvest dude is planning on keeping this operation running for at least a little while longer, so someone else is sure to come along, and you can talk to them all you want. Maybe they’ll even stick around? Heh, uh, assuming they don’t decide to take a permanent vacation on floor four instead, but, you know… Up to them, right?”
What am I doing? Am I seriously trying to talk myself out of killing a willing opponent? Level 89. That has to give me at least one level-up. One more vital step towards not dying on the next floor, or the one after it.
So why am I hesitating?
I bring up my hand. Claws. My whole body is soaked down to the bone. A little bit of wolf’s blood won’t make a difference. I’ve killed for less.
Carefully, I press the sharp claws of my fingers closer to the beasts’ bared neck. Fur. Fluffy, thanks to the bubble. Soft. During the few days we’ve known each other, he’s never refused a pet. He even let me scratch his belly, as weird as it sounds.
His eyes remain steadfast, even as his death inches closer.
And as my fingers brush closer, closer, I feel a sudden weight leave my shoulders.
Ah.
He doesn’t have to die.
I look down at him. His eyes face the floor. A strange, ice-cold clearness spreads across my soul. I reach for his neck again, but instead of plunging my fingers into his throat, they brush against his crown collar. Confusion flashes through his icy eyes and I kneel down in front of him.
“It’s too tight,” I mumble as my fingers loosen it just a little. His eyes meet mine and I smile. “Wouldn’t want you to choke yourself before you get the chance to guide the next Hell Difficulty challenger, right?”
His mouth opens a little, then closes as I stand up, turning away from him, towards the crystal.
I reach it in four even strides, and as my hand hovers above it, light flitting between my fingers, I hear a voice bark through my head.
<I swear to you that I will guide them
as well as I can!
And when you meet them in what comes after,
I’ll tell them to say hello from me!>
I look back and smile at his bowing head. “I’ll take your word on it, friend.”
And then, my hand falls on the crystal, and the floor ends, the last thing I see being the proud, confident head of my third-ever friend.
<You have cleared the seventeenth floor.>
<You have received 1 000
points for clearing the floor.
You have received an additional
1 000 points for being the first to clear
the floor.>
<16 Gods have shown a positive response to you.
You have obtained 16 000 points.>
<34 Gods have shown a negative response to you.
34 000 points have been deducted.>
<To repay your debt,
the floor clear reward has been
traded for 1 000 points.>
I wonder, briefly, before I go, if one of those happy gods was the god of harvest.
And then, just as briefly, I wonder whether or not he knew I’d spare his little doggy.
Then I wonder, finally—what kind of man would be willing to sacrifice his own pet for the sake of someone he doesn’t even like.
Comments
John Smif
Absolutely needed after the angst of the last arc
NotSoAvidReader
I liked this floor :)
Pletter
Taking money from the dead in the river is a Styx thing. He is basically acting as Charon and bringing them to the afterlife in return for payment. The hound of hell guarding the door to it.
Palt
It was a while since I read the corresponding canto from dante's inferno but if I remember correctly it ended with dante and virgil riding the beast of fraud down into a non-watery abyss/chasm to bring them to the next horrible punishment. I think the purses are in reference to how there were punished souls in the canto clutching purses but I can't recall any more about that. I didn't like the actual floor design because it feels like a WoW quest so I'm glad inspiration struck me to make this less about the floor and more about talking with the beast itself
Dungeonmemer15
What a weird level. Where'd you get the inspiration from? Taking purses from dead dogs and passing them to a fish dog then swimming through the abyss with it seems a bit odd
Nathan Sto
Yup. Tries to kill the dog. SMITE. A fitting response. Although I'm confused about why the 34 are still hating on him. You'd think they would want to reward positive behaviour.
