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A Gamer's Guide 202
🕑 Added 2023-12-18 11:06:40 +0000 UTCWe agreed to do it at half past one in the morning. I had wanted to do it later, but Nazzo and Vann ganged up on me, arguing that since they were the ones affected by sleep deprivation, they were the only ones who should have a say in the matter. Foolishly enough, I let them.
So, at a quarter past one, I slipped out of my hammock and tapped Nazzo where he lay in his own. Then, I waited for him to climb out of his hammock before I grabbed him and carried him out of the room, my superior stealth skills keeping us both well-hidden as I snuck across the hallway and down to the captain’s room. There, rather than knocking, I simply opened the door.
Vann stands at the foot of his bed, fully dressed but without the shoes. The shoes are too loud, so I had told both him and Nazzo to omit them. Vann was a bit more reluctant to go barefoot, but Nazzo was able to convince him. Apparently, he still chose to wear socks, even though the wet deck is sure to get them damp. Once he notices us in the doorway, he nods at us resolutely. We nod back, and I let Nazzo down. A quick hand movement is enough to send him away, and he slips back out the door, going ahead of us up the stairs and onto the deck in order to distract Barbariccia, who should be in the drake’s nest right about now. I can’t really tell anything that’s happening above deck since the rain has dulled the scents on display, and I don’t desire Barbariccia enough for GVS to pick up on him.
With Nazzo going ahead, I turn to Vann. He meets my gaze with determination and readiness, though I can smell the anxiety lingering around him. Reaching out, I pat him on the shoulder and mouth ‘It’s okay.’ I’m not sure if it helped, but regardless, I pick him up and carry him in the same way I did Nazzo. I’d like to try if FPB works while holding someone, but Vann refused it earlier, so I’ll have to try it out later.
We head out and into the hallway, up the stairs, and then wait a moment to see if Nazzo will return to tell us not to go out on deck. Then, when he doesn’t appear, we head out onto the deck. It’s still raining, though nowhere near as harshly as earlier today. The deck is slippery, and I remember how Coda warned us earlier today to be careful and only be up and about when necessary. Since I didn’t have any business on deck, this is actually the first I’ve been up all day. When it rains, the surface of the tar sea thickens to the point where it’s difficult to move, so today has mostly been a rest day for all of us.
I can’t see anybody on deck, so after a moment of hesitation, I let Vann down, motioning for him to remain quiet. Then I lead him across the deck to the hostage ship.
I freeze mid-step.
…Wh—where did the hostage ship go? There’s just nothing there! The harpoons have even been returned to their canons. What the heck is—
“Kitty!”
I spin around, almost slipping, ready to either hiss for someone to keep quiet or to force them to be silent before realizing that the look on Nazzo’s approaching face is anything but positive. I look up and down the deck. There’s no one to hear us. “Nazzo?” I whisper-shout. “What’s wrong?”
Nazzo pants for a second or two, rain pouring down his face and mixing with what I think I can smell to be sweat. “H—he wasn’t there, Kitty!”
“...What do you mean?”
“Bar wasn’t up in the drake’s nest—it was totally empty!”
“There was no one in the drake’s nest?” I ask incredulously. “Why—” I’m just about to ask him a question he can’t possibly answer when my nose picks up the answer. My heart drops in my chest.
“On an evening like this, there’s no need to have someone tending the drake’s nest,” Coda says as he steps out of the shadows across the deck. The rest of the Evil Claw Pirates soon follow suit. Barbariccia, Scar, Dragon, Cocco, Cal, Al, Cir, Farello, Cante, Cane… Most of them look disappointed. Some confused. Others angry. Coda is part of the first group, though with an added touch of what I think might be grief. Or maybe it’s betrayal? “After sailing with us for ten months, I thought you would have picked up on something that simple, Kitty.”
I can feel my claws clicking together, and I take a step forward, positioning myself between my two allies and the pirates. “Ten months is less time than you’d expect,” I say, mostly just to fill out time while my heart stops beating so damn fast. I almost smile. “How’d you figure it out?”
His smile turns melancholic. “I eavesdropped.”
“...Again?”
“Again.”
I grin, teeth clenched tightly. “Did I tell you that humans consider it very rude to eavesdrop?”
“In that case, it’s the same as for us goblins,” Coda says. “However, being a pirate, such customs aren’t the kind I respect too often.” He drops the smile. “Would you call me a hypocrite that I never expected you to do this? To betray us over a sailor?” His eye twitches. “If anyone else had overheard your conversation, and they had told me, I would have had them walk the plank for even suggesting that you’d turn your back on us.”
“I—I haven’t…”
“It will be painless,” Coda says, interrupting my incohesive mutterings. “As I promised. And you will be punished as we agreed to—having to sleep in the hold for a week.” A crackle of thunder booms in the sky, and I remember having heard similar thunder all day. Thunder as loud as the boom of canons. “Because that is what we agreed to. You remember that, don’t you, Kitty?”
The rain is eating into my clothes. Behind me, I notice Vann, trembling not because of the freezing rain, but rather out of fear. I grit my teeth.
“Why?” I shout above the smatter of rain. “Why should he have to die?”
“Him dying is the norm,” Coda calmly answers. “His living was the exception, but it couldn’t last forever.”
“Yeah!” Barbariccia yells savagely. “He’s a filthy friend-of-a-traitor! And you, as the traitor, should—”
Coda puts his hand on Barbariccia’s chest. “Calm down, Bar,” he says softly. Not for me to hear. “We agreed to not punish him too badly, remember?”
“You agreed to be coddling with the human!” Barbariccia spits. “The same creature that would eat children—children! And now, showing him preferential treatment? Bah! We should kill him and—”
“Then kill me!” I howl. The rain falls silent and the deck likewise. “Kill me, and let Vann live! I’ve committed enough sins to be smitten by lightning a hundredfold and deserve every shock and more! But Vann?” I wipe the rainwater from my face. “He’s innocent. He hasn’t done a single thing to deserve your ire, and you want to give him the death penalty?” I can feel my teeth grind together, the grating noise effectively replacing the rain. “If you’d known him as long as you’ve known me, you would spare him.”
I pant where I stand, the exertion of shouting making my legs tremble in their wet-cloth bindings. But across the deck, Coda stands calmly, and stoically.
“No,” Coda says. “We wouldn’t.”
My heart stops beating in my chest. The cold of the rain chews its way into my very bones. “You…” I swallow a mouthful of rainwater. My voice is broken when I speak again, shards scraping together. “Why not?”
His eyes are as calm as the WHITE fog clinging to the BLACK sea around us.
“Because you need to learn a lesson.”
I stare at him. The world doesn’t feel real anymore. Nothing makes sense. “...What?”
“We made an agreement, one heavily favorable to your wants. For the rewards of his life, you signed off on two risks, one being your punishment, the other being his life; forfeit.” His voice is soft; smooth. Like aqua regalia. Hearing it, although it had only ever made me feel calm and relaxed, it now grants me the overpowering impression that all this time, I’ve been in the presence of a devil as silver-tongued as any. His eyes shine in the darkness, all too similar to the sea of tar itself. “You agreed to it, you broke it, and now you will face the consequences.” His eyes narrow. “Do you now refuse it?”
My breath is ragged. Cold air in, cold air out.
I’m a hypocrite. I gambled and lost and now I’m too childish to pay my due.
I bite my lip, warm blood mingling with rainwater. If only it had been my own life on the line, it would have been fine. “...No,” I mutter, the lead-heavy weight of a thousand sins piled atop one another slowly crumbling off, one piece at a time. “No, I can’t refuse your orders, Coda.” I clench my hands into fists. “But I can’t let him pay for my stupid mistakes. So, please—”
“Are you disobeying the direct orders of your captain?”
I shake my head, my wet hair splashing water. “No, I’m just—”
“Stop arguing with Coda!” Cir shouts. “You know better than that, Kitty!”
“Yeah, come on!” Cal says. “He saved your life, can’t you be grateful for that?”
“Nazzo, you won’t be punished, so just tell Kitty not to do anything stupid!” Farello chimes in. “Because, let me tell you, arguing against Coda is beyond stupid!”
Coda holds up a hand, silencing the group. “You won’t have to do it yourself. Just step off this deck, go down to the hold, and when your week is up, he’ll be gone. Simple as that.” He shows an expression of remorse. “I can’t make this any kinder for you, Kitty.”
“This ungrateful human keeps rejecting his own captain’s wants!” Barbariccia shouts. “He’s a traitor, the damn thing! Let’s treat him as traitors ought to be treated!”
Again, Coda stops him with a quick shake of the head, turning to me again. “Please, Kitty. Do as I ask.”
I’m trembling. How long have I been trembling? I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m frozen in place. My feet won’t even move. The weight of the world is on my shoulders and it’s crippling. Is this the weight of a single life? This soul-crushing weight?
I’m paralyzed. I can’t do anything anymore. Everyone’s looking at me, waiting for me to make a decision, to choose between what’s right and what’s right. I can’t…
Vann pokes me. I turn to him. He smiles at me; a big, broad smile that holds enough joy for an entire lifetime. “It’s okay,” he says, eyes filled with tears and rain. “You can go. They’ll make it painless. I won’t feel a thing, so—”
I put my hand on his head. My smile mirrors him, if only in part. “Don’t worry. I’ll figure it out. You won’t have to—”
“Conspirators!” Barbariccia cries. “That little drakeborn is trying to turn him against us even more!” Coda tries to calm him down, but he’s barely even consolable. Scar and Dragon both have to hold him back, almost slipping on the wet deck in the meantime.
I clear my throat. Adapting a more calming tone, I start to speak, approaching them as I do, “Listen, we can talk about this. Let’s all take a deep breath, and—” And as soon as I come close, they move back. I freeze. Coda stands tall, firm—but the rest… They look at me like that. I try to move closer. They restrain themselves, but only barely. “Why are you…?”
“Just stay calm, okay, Kitty?” Coda says, smiling again, holding up his hands placatingly. “All I ask is that you leave the deck, go down into the hold, and—”
“Could you stop me?” The words come out as an inquisitive whisper, but I’m close enough for them to hear it. “Could you actually get to him?” I ask. Or maybe I’m musing aloud to myself. Why does he want me to leave? What are they afraid of? It isn’t me. They know me. I’ve eaten with them, fought with them, played with them. No, that isn’t what they fear. They don’t fear my smile—they fear my teeth. “Could you get through me?”
Coda backs away, just one step, but it feels like a mile. “Please, Kitty, this isn’t the time—”
I take a step forward, and all of a sudden Barbariccia flies out at me, his sword drawn and ready, and then, I’ve got my hand in his chest. No, not in his chest. Through his chest. My hand is RED. By pure instinct, I’m holding his heart. The thick organ beats against my fingers, once, twice… I count twelve times until it stops.
<Goblin Lv.22 Defeated.>
<1/12 Evil Claw Pirates Defeated.>
Ah. He’s… dead?
I lower my arm and he slides off into a pile on the floor. There he is. He’s just… lying there. Motionless. He doesn’t smell alive anymore. He smells dead, and he looks dead, and he is dead. I’m still holding his heart. It feels like a sick joke, like he’ll jump up at any moment and shout, ‘Hey, that’s mine! Give it back!’ But he doesn’t, because he’s dead. The rain rinses my hand of blood but the heart is still there. A question pokes at my brain and I take a bite of it, to find that even though I knew him, it still tastes the same as every other heart I’ve eaten. It’s all the same.
I feel… nothing.
A fist flies at me. Scar. His eyes are flashing, angry. “YOU—!!” he screams, but I don’t know what he was about to call me, because my claws go through his neck, and he can’t speak anymore. I hold his intact spine in my right hand. His eyes go dim. That’s weird. I thought Scar disliked Barbariccia? He was always joking that he was going to aim a cannon at the drake’s nest sometime, just to check if Barbariccia would notice.
I remove Scar’s heart and taste it, but even though I knew him, and even though I liked him, it still tastes the same.
<Goblin Lv.23 Defeated.>
<2/12 Evil Claw Pirates Defeated.>
And I feel nothing.
Dragon and Cocco don’t bother to say anything as they go at me, their years of experience allowing them to fight in sync. But it isn’t enough. They slice me, one of them getting my left eye, but it changes nothing. When fighting pairs, I usually focus on the strongest, so I reach out and grab Dragon by the shoulders, just like I did two months back when I hugged him for the first time, and I sever his spine in a single bite.
<Goblin Lv.20 Defeated.>
<3/12 Evil Claw Pirates Defeated.>
Cocco uses the moment to slash me across the back but it doesn’t matter. I grab his arm, lift him into the air, and slam him back onto the deck. Then, I crush his throat and neck in a single stomp.
<Goblin Lv.21 Defeated.>
<4/12 Evil Claw Pirates Defeated.>
I didn’t know him as well as I would have wanted to. He never did tell me why he left his wife and children behind. But it doesn’t matter anymore. He’s dead, so whatever led him to this place is irrelevant.
“Kitty, why would you—” I slash my claws across Al’s abdomen before I even realize he’s the one I’m killing. He falls to the ground in a mess of organs and membranes, rainwater pooling between no-longer-folded intestines.
“Al—” Cal falls to the ground, to his knees, bundling Al into his arms. “Oh, oh, Gods, Al, why would you—”
Experimentally, I take hold of his head, and he only has time to look up at me in wide-eyed horror and betrayal before he’s gone, his skull crushed between my fingers, brain matter splattering the deck and my shirt.
<Goblin Lv.14 Defeated.>
<5/12 Evil Claw Pirates Defeated.>
All that’s left of his head is his face, still confused, still so utterly betrayed. But the feelings of an empty face don’t matter. All that he was, every pun, bad joke and ridiculous taunt, is what is now splattered across my hand and the floor. That’s all. It doesn’t exist anymore. My memories are all there is of him.
At my feet, Al writhes, his trembling hand moving towards what used to be Cal. I step on his hand, crushing his wrist. “AAAAAAAAHHHHH—!!” he screams, but as I’m hearing it, I realize that it doesn’t matter. Once he’s dead, none of the pain he ever felt—be it now or before or in a second—will matter. He’ll be dead, and his pain, too. So, I do the most merciful thing and place my foot on his chest, pressing my clawed sole onto the hold of his sternum, feeling it crack beneath my toes alongside his ribs, a bit more pressure allowing me to finally crush his heart fully. And like that, he’s gone, and his pain with him.
<Goblin Lv.19 Defeated.>
<6/12 Evil Claw Pirates Defeated.>
I remove my foot. I didn’t actually break the skin of his chest, but now there’s a deep dent, into which the falling rain is pooling. If we’d been out in the forest, it might have made for a nice bird bath, or a tiny watering hole for frogs to gather in. The thought makes me smile.
“—Now!” someone shouts, and a pair of swords are stabbed into my back, into my lungs. Since that might not be too good, I turn around and swipe the feet out from under Cir. The fall makes him gasp, but the bloodied deck makes his gasp almost turn into a scream. The sound would be a bit irritating though, so I waste no time hunching down, picking him up by the throat and then grabbing his shoulder, tearing off his entire head with little issue. I take a few bites of the exposed neck, healing the damage they did to my lungs.
<Goblin Lv.20 Defeated.>
<7/12 Evil Claw Pirates Defeated.>
“A—ah…” Farello drops his sword. His wide eyes tremble in horror. “CIRIATTO!!” His broken scream grates my ears, but when I try to grab him, he runs for it, in the direction of where Vann and Nazzo stand. But the floor is slippery with more than just rainwater, and he soon slips. I stalk up behind him. Now that I’m approaching Vann and Nazzo, I notice that Vann is actually standing in front of Nazzo, as opposed to before, when it was the other way around. Curious.
Picking Farello off the floor by the leg, I stab my hand through the opening beneath his ribcage, easily getting a hold of his heart, which I then pull out and bite into. Same taste as everyone else. Same nothingness as he falls.
<Goblin Lv.12 Defeated.>
<8/12 Evil Claw Pirates Defeated.>
I turn back to where the others had been just before. There are so few of them left now. I sniff a little.
—There.
“Please, Cante, we have to—”
“I’m not going without—”
“But we can’t—”
Cante and Cane. Hunched, trying to do… something. I pace up behind them, and stab them both through the back, removing both hearts in a single, simple little movement. There. That was easy. Too easy. If I remember correctly from the way Cane told it on theater nights, he used to do fencing as a kid. And now he’s an adult. But he couldn’t even…
I shake my head.
It doesn’t matter anymore. They’re dead. They don’t exist anymore, so I don’t have to think about them.
<Goblin Lv.22 Defeated.>
<Goblin Lv.22 Defeated.>
<10/12 Evil Claw Pirates Defeated.>
On the floor between them lies Coda. I squat down next to him. Is he dead? But I haven’t done anything yet. I sniff him a little.
…No, he isn’t dead. Then why is he on the floor? It doesn’t make any sense.
I pick him up by the head, letting his feet dangle before trying to put him down in a standing pose. But his knees buckle out under him. That’s weird. I slap his cheek a little. “Hey,” I say. “Coda? Are you in there, captain?”
It takes a second, but he suddenly draws in a quick shallow breath, his eyes fluttering open and looking around in confusion before finally falling on me, on my face, mere inches away from his. He smiles warmly. “Oh, it’s just you, Kitty.” He chuckles. “You wouldn’t believe it, I had the strangest—”
I put him down. He stumbles a little on shaking knees before his feet finally give away, making him fall to the floor, to the blood and the bodies. He hisses in pain. “Ouch, what is—” And then he sees it. The bodies. What used to be Cante and Cane, and Cir and Farello, and Scar and Dragon and Cal and Al and Barbariccia and Cocco, but isn’t them anymore. His mouth, now open, trembles.
I look at him, and I say, “Coda—,” and I’m just about to say something else when I realize that, ‘Ah. It doesn’t matter.’ Because Coda isn’t really Coda anymore. I’ve decided that he’s going to die, so he isn’t really Coda anymore. I’m looking at him, of course, but it’s much closer to looking at a moving doll of flesh. He’s already dead. So what’s the point?
“K—Kitty, what have you… You’ve…” He turns to me, eyes glistening, and all he has to say after all that is, “Why?”
…Why?
Because…
I frown. Why…?
I stab my hand through his chest. His heart beats between my fingers, alive. He’s alive. But he’s dead. That’s weird. He coughs, his chest spasming around my hand. I look at his face. The way it twitches and twists into expressions of pain and horror and betrayal and countless other emotions that won’t matter in as little as a single minute. Ten months I’ve known him. Ten months… that was as long as I was ever to know him. It was a good ten months. I enjoyed them. He was kind to me.
I smile at him. “Thank you,” I say. “For everything.”
I pull the heart from his chest and let Coda’s body fall to the deck again. I count the final beats. Sixteen beats. That’s all, and then he’s gone.
<Goblin Lv.25 Defeated.>
<11/12 Evil Claw Pirates Defeated.>
I stand up. It’s hard to believe everything felt so big and world-encompassing only a few minutes ago. And now, what seemed to be my entire world is just a collection of meat and organs and bones being washed by the rain. I look down at my RED and bloodied hand, at the claws that did this. The weight of a life is light. Like cotton, or a single marshmallow. It’s nothing.
My heart feels light.
I turn to Vann. To Nazzo. I only have one left. I might as well.
I move towards them. Vann tries to hide the smaller, younger goblin behind him. “It’s okay,” I say as I approach him. “I won’t hurt you.” There’s no point in hurting him. Now, I stand above them, a flash of lighting splattering them with my shadow. A rumble fills the air with heavy mumbles.
Their eyes are so big, like little prey animals. Squatting down, I reach behind Vann, and grab Nazzo. He trembles in my hands. But he isn’t saying anything. I lean in towards his neck. One clean bite should do it.
A little hand grabs a hold of my torn and bloodied sleeve. I look down at Vann. The way his eyes plead. I understand. I let my gaze soften as I look at him, assuring him that this won't hurt one bit.
“A—ah—” Nazzo mumbles, and then I bite. Blood splatters—across me, across Vann, across the deck. I swallow the mouthful of tender flesh before tossing the still-alive goblin to the side. I look down at Vann.
<Goblin Lv.8 Defeated.>
<12/12 Evil Claw Pirates Defeated.>
<The floor clearing has been
temporarily postponed.>
<The God of Cruelty
watches you with anticipation.>
I don’t pay the messages any heed. Instead, I turn back to Vann, and show him my blood-soaked hand, or rather, my claws. He stares at me instead of them, so I move them closer to his face. “Look,” I say. “Look at it.” His wide, staring eyes turn to the claws. “See?” I say. “You were wrong.”
“I was… wrong?” Vann croaks, more so in confusion than defeat.
“Yeah,” I say, still showing my claws. I almost chuckle. “I’m not shaking. Not even the slightest tremble. So…” I smile at him. “You were wrong, Vann. I could have done it. They could have been as close as friends, and I—” A tiny, bitter laugh escapes my lips. “And I would still have been able to do it.” Blood. Blood below me, on the deck. Blood on my hands. Blood in my hair. Blood on me and in me and around me and everywhere. I step closer to him, squeezing him up to the railing. “What does that make me, Vann? Why did I kill them? And why—” I take a haggard breath. “Why won’t I kill you?” I can feel the smile fall off my face. I look down at him. “What does that make me?”
“A monster,” Vann says, with as much dawning realization as I feel hearing it.
I pause for a moment. “Yeah. That’s it, isn’t it?” I smile again. “A monster.”
I turn away from him, towards the bodies. Towards what I’ve done. Towards the emptiness, the numbness, the hollow weightlessness that it granted me.
Towards the future.
<The God of Cruelty
is pleased with your decision
to spare Vann, son of Pettere>
<You have cleared the twenty-second floor.>
<Congratulations!>
<As a special reward, the God of Cruelty
wishes to grant you some of His power
instead of the normal floor clear reward.
Do you accept?>
<Yes/No>
Nothing about being the first to clear the floor, nothing about a full clear reward… Just a lame little congratulation.
I press the ‘yes’ button. There was no other choice.
<You have obtained:>
<[To Make A Martyr(Lv.MAX)]
The God of Cruelty, who watches
over those that show cruelty
above mercy, has granted some
of His powers to His plaything.>
…Is it supposed to say that thing there at the end?
I don’t really have time to consider it too deeply before the rain and the wind and the blood and the reeling sea disappear, once more dragging me back to that horrid lobby.
Comments
Nathan Sto
Thanks! I'll have to keep that in mind. It's impossible to know when to might need a replacement.
Palt
All too true, my friend. But if you ever need a quick bean, you know where to find me. ;)
Nathan Sto
Nathan was hopeful...
Nathan Sto
People should use sir more often! Especially when it comes to impressive creations like this chapter. However, I think I'll pass on the kidney for now. You never know where them kidneys have been, amirite?
Palt
I have never been called sir before. Would you like my kidney?
Palt
<3<3<3<3
Nathan Sto
I think that was the saddest thing you've written yet, Palt sir.
NotSoAvidReader
Bruh
Craig
I just realized: if I’m reading the system messages correctly, then Kitty finally has access to magic through the sponsorship of a god! … except Kitty just wished away his ability to do magic a couple chapters ago, and the god in question is the god of cruelty. This is going to be a clusterfuck, holy shit
Craig
This fucking story… we all knew it could end only one way when the floor clear conditions were changed, but it still hits like a punch to the gut when it happens.
liam coffin
I am now crying
BIG CHUNGUS
Yeah, figures.
