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A Gamer's Guide 319
🕑 Added 2024-08-25 15:00:02 +0000 UTCIt’s big. It’s exactly as big as I remembered it, and no less boxy.
For one, much like all other big cities I’ve seen so far, it’s surrounded by a thick, nigh-impenetrable wall. Luckily enough, just like I did last time, we entered through the front entrance. I had expected them to subject us to closer scrutiny, but they just checked us, checked the cargo, and off we were. They didn’t even check for weapons on my body, or other contraband! Heh, lucky.
And just like that, we’re in the imperial capital! Ah, what a place.
It… actually doesn’t smell as bad as the plague city did? I’m surprised! Not to mention that a fair few of the roads are fully cobbled, and most of the houses are made with stone and bricks, unlike most of the architecture I’ve seen so far, which has primarily been wooden. It really does feel like a highly-developed hub of activity, with people coming in and out constantly. The streets are busy with drakes and carriages, and people wander without fear, and…
Holy heck, was that a human?! Actually, no, it’s three of them! Wow. And they’re just walking around, too, with nobody staring at them oddly! Amazing. Inspirational. It takes all of my willpower to not shout and wave at them. An altercation could mean people dying, which would be bad, so I need to keep my cool, remain calm, and…
One of them notices me. I freeze up. My claws scratch against the wood of the carriage.
They smile and wave at me.
After a second or so, once the shock wears off, I smile and wave back at them.
“Wow, more hoeksak, huh? Are they common in the capital?” Fiir-ette asks, watching the group as they pass by.
“They can’t be too common,” I reply, “but I’d wager they’re more prone to being in large cities than random places.” After all, it’s much easier to find work in places like this. Speaking of which… “By the way, as I’ve told you, I’ll need to leave for a while. Do you think I can do so now?”
“Hm? Oh, yes, of course. I doubt I’ll get to meet the emperor on such short notice. Even as soon as tomorrow would be optimistic. But the emperor is sure to want you in attendance, if only to thank you for bringing me here. The judge promised some sort of reward, which I’m sure the emperor would be glad to give you.”
I pause for a moment. It’s the emperor. Which is… who, exactly? I killed the emperor. He’s dead. Presumably, one of his children would have inherited the throne. Then again, do empires operate on the same logic as kingdoms? Even more so, do they operate on the same logic as Earth kingdoms do? No idea! For all I know, the guy on the throne could be a completely random judge who was raised to the position. But even if it is one of the emperor’s children…
Will they recognize me? I’ve changed a lot since then, and to goblins, most humans look pretty much the same, anyways. Not to mention that my most recent stealth skill, [Inconspicuous], is already at level four. So far, nobody has recognized me. What are the chances this would be any different?
I smile at him. “Of course I’ll be there.”
He smiles back at me, a twinge of relief wrinkling his eyes. “Good to hear. If it’s a quick errand, you might even be able to do it before I arrive at the palace.”
“Good point. In that case, I’ll get going straight away. Good luck with everything, and if I’m not back in time, don’t make the emperor wait, okay?”
“Alright, I won’t.”
“Nice. See you later!” Leaping off of the carriage, I sprint towards the nearest house, clamber up the wall, and get to the top. Let’s see, cathedral, cathedral, cathedral… It has to be that one, right? The one with the huge spires and the gargoyles shaped like goblins climbing up the sides of it? Yeah, that has to be it. No question about it.
Much like my namesake, I begin leaping from rooftop to rooftop, running on all fours, making my way towards the cathedral with no issue. Along the way, I actually happen to spot a few more humans walking around, a number of which notice me and wave. I wave back at them.
Getting to the cathedral only takes a few minutes, and with Fiir-ette’s scent fresh in my nose, I’ll be able to get back to him quickly once I’m done.
Arriving, I do a number of admittedly impressive acrobatic leaps down, unfortunately stumbling on the last one and smashing into a gutter face-first. Ow. As I stand up, I click my jaw back into position. Right. How am I dressed? Pants, shirt… Yup. Everything I need. To recap, all I need to do is go inside, receive some quest or whatever from the god of knowledge, complete it, and then I can leave. Whatever that means. A quest could be anything, but honestly, as long as I don’t need to do it now-now, I’ll be fine. Go in, get quest, go out. Easy. Simple. Q—
“Oh, but you must be the one! You are hu-man, are you not? Yes, I knew it! Now, please, come. The God of Knowledge, He who knows all, known and unknown, is waiting for you.” Across the street, I notice with some measure of trepidation how a white-robed nun of some sort is accosting a random human, trying to drag him inside the cathedral. “Come, come! We mustn’t make Him wait!”
“What the feathers are you talking about? I don’t have any quest relating to the God of Knowledge! Now let go of me!”
“Huh? No, no, that can’t be it. He said you would arrive now. You must be the one, I can’t see any other—”
Ah. Her eyes met mine. Oops. Silently, I begin stepping away from her, sliding towards the cathedral, one step at a time, two…
She sprints across the road with the fury of a million scurrying weasels, almost getting run over twice and eliciting a number of startled, enraged cries. Once on the other side—my side—she grabs me roughly by the shoulders, panting with exertion, her ears waggling. “You! You simply must be the one He spoke of! Yes, there can be no doubt of it. Your shaggy dress, your greasy hair, your…” She sniffs me. Bad decision. “Ugh—your stench… It’s all according to His flawless prediction! Now, now, er-herm… Welcome! The God of Knowledge, He who knows all, known and unknown—”
“How long have you been out here, looking for me?” I ask, wriggling out of her grasp. Her frenzied expression doesn’t shift in the slightest. Oh, no, wait, her left eye just twitched. Her smile is still as rigid as an engraving, though.
“Midnight, of course!” she blurts out, her lips barely keeping up with her enthusiasm. “He said you would arrive today, on the fifteenth of Fire, so I’ve been up since the fourteenth turned to the fifteenth. That way, I could be sure I would be here when you arrived! Clever, right? I’m very clever, aren’t I? His greatest apprentice, indeed! That’s me, if you must know—Grinna the Guesser! See, I’ve got my own title, all because He has such faith in me!”
I resist the urge to contradict her. It won’t do any good. “Right. Um. Great, so…”
“Oh, you’re right! Wasted time is a sin against the art of learning, and I mustn’t sin! No-no, that we cannot have. The last time He caught me slacking off, singing instead of reading, He made me learn the historical etymology of the word ‘hunger’ in all languages! Oh, it was a delightful year. Ah! No! I’m doing it again! Come—let me sin no longer. Come, come!” And, not waiting for me to agree or disagree, she drags me inside the cathedral. It is… Exactly as I remember Harad describing it. Now that I think about it, Moleman might also have mentioned a cathedral filled to the brim with books. Shelves reaching up into the tips of spires, curling around walls and running down the edges. Books, unsorted, piled wherever they fit. Any area that isn’t covered with books contains a complimentary bench, chair, table or similar, the majority of which are filled with goblins of all ages and nationalities—I can even spot some yellow and red ones!
Holding my hand, not letting me enjoy the view, she drags me through the entire place. “We mustn’t keep Him waiting, that we cannot do, if He waits too long He moves onto a task, and then we won’t be able to reach Him for hours, and that would mean keeping the guest waiting, and we can’t have that either! Oh, terrible, terrible!” It seems like she’s physically incapable of not speaking. I don’t really mind—I personally enjoy when people talk without me having to respond—but this is starting to grate a bit on the ears. I’d complain more about her talking in a library if it wasn’t for the fact that she was keeping her voice down. “Ah, here we are!”
Around a bend, through a hallway, up a staircase, every wall converted into a bookcase, even the staircases holding books beneath the steps, across a maze-like room and into a spire, and there, at the very end, is a door. A plain wooden door.
Without knocking or otherwise making herself known, she rips it open. “My God! He’s here, I’ve brought him, as You asked!”
“Hm? Ah, put him by the… Over at the…”
The room is filled with stacks of papers, half-bound books, quills, ink, and a single desk, complete with a simple wooden chair. And on that chair, sitting with his feet unable to reach the floor, is a kid. Or, rather, the god of knowledge. Compared to the stacks of paper—both written and plain—that reach up to the roof in massive pillars of spiraling white, he looks even smaller. Even the floor is covered with pieces of paper, to the point where I can’t tell if the floor itself is made of wood, or if there’s a carpet, or anything like that.
Back facing us, he points to a corner with the end of his quill. His fingers are stained with ink. “Over there, or something. I’ll get right to him.”
Grinna nods, salutes, and pushes me over to a corner. “My God, I just want to mention, before I hurry off to continue my research into the invention, development and outlawing of the self-immolating wand, that it might be good to set a timer to get to him, otherwise you might forget him, and he’ll have to stand here for a few hours!”
The god of knowledge glances over his shoulder. He pouts at her. “Don’t wanna.”
“But you oughta! To quote Hart, son of Jikk—”
“‘The one who makes a guest wait likewise puts his heart on hold’, yeah, yeah, I know. I just have to finish writing this book, then I’ll get to him.”
“And when did you start writing it?”
He looks away. “Three hours ago.”
“How long would it take to finish?”
“...Three days. But that’s nothing, he can wait. Patience begets power, as the late—”
“—Fray-her said, the apostle of slowness, yes. But she also said that taking breaks is super important. So, if You see taking a break as entertaining Your guest, it all works out!”
He grumbles for a long while. “You are too well-taught, Guesser. Leave, and I’ll handle this.”
“Alrighty, my God! May You learn every moment!”
He waves at her as she ducks out of the door, closing it behind her. Then, he watches the closed door for a moment, then another one, and when he’s certain she’s gone, he turns around and goes right back to writing. Cackling to himself, he continues writing whatever he’s writing, only pausing to peruse one of the many books spread open around him.
Uh… Should I…?
Comments
mark harrell
I wonder how much this God *really* knows about Kitty. I also like how unreliable Knowledge comes off as. He isn't the God of Wisdom after all.
