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A Gamer's Guide 341
🕑 Added 2025-01-10 11:00:09 +0000 UTC“Hey, Holly,” I say, as warmly as I can once she’s in earshot. She stops a few yards away from us. “Sorry about that. I hope I didn’t distract them from their chores.”
Arms crossed, she watches us for a moment. I can’t read the expression on her face. “They had recess,” she says, half-muttering, “so it’s fine.”
I exchange a look with Rice. “So, um…” I turn back to her. “I guess this means you’re willing to discuss things?”
Now I can tell the expression she’s making. The frown, the furled nose, the furrowed brows… Disgust, anger and reluctance claw and press her face into the very picture of I-don’t-want-to-be-here. A shame, because I don’t think she has much of a choice. “Yeah,” she says, after a long pause, “I am.”
“Great! I’m happy to hear it,” I say, clapping my hands. The sound makes her flinch. “So, to begin with, about the kids—”
“I wasn’t done speaking.” Her eyes burn into me, hard and smouldering like a blade fresh out of the fire. “Before anything else, before you so much as consider the possibility of doing anything here… I want you to know one thing.” She takes a step closer, one hand curled into a fist, the other pointing right at me—right at my branded chest. “You’re right. I can’t stop you. But if you ever hurt any one of those kids… If you so much as try… I will stop you. Even if only for a second, I will lay down my life for them, and my blood will be on your hands. Do you understand that? Do you understand the sacrifice I’m willing to make?”
“Of course,” I say. “That’s only obvious.”
“If it helps,” Rice says, jerking a thumb at me, “if this guy started going to town on those kids while I’m near and able, I’d shoot him, too. If we went at it together, I’m reasonably sure we could stop him for a bit more than a second.”
Impressively enough, against everything, Holly’s expression softens. “...Thank you,” she says. “I’m not sure how well I can trust you, considering that you’re his companion, but…” She glances away, almost smiling. “If what you did during the tournament is anything to go by, you know how to handle yourself.”
“Thank you,” Rice says, tipping her hat.
“So, to summarize,” I say, loud enough to catch both of their attentions, “if I do something stupid, you’ll both stop me. We’re all on board with this?” The two of them share a look, and turn back to me, nodding as one. “Excellent! In that case, we’re all on the same page. Don’t you just love it when that happens?” Rice clearly agrees with me, but Holly looks as though she got a lump of coal for Christmas. “So, um…”
Holly raises her hand. I wave to her. “Glyph and I talked, and we’ve decided on how to handle this. Since you obviously have some demands, we’ve decided to have our own as well. Firstly, although you may stay in the house at night and during lunch and supper, at no other times are you welcome inside without our explicit permission.”
“I get to sleep inside?” I say, trying not to sound too excited. However, one thing… “What about Rice?”
Holly looks Rice up and down. “The rules don’t apply to her. She can stay inside all day if she wants.”
“Neato!” I say, patting Rice on the shoulder.
Rice chuckles. “It’s been a while since I had a bed, so it’s much appreciated.”
“Continuing on,” Holly says, “for our shared coexistence here, we’d like for you to follow the following rules…” She goes on to list a number of dos and don’t, the majority of which I could guess. Don’t eat the kids, if the kids ask me to go away I have to obey, avoid being alone with the kids, etcetera, etcetera. I’m right about to start zoning out when she actually mentions something of interest. Almost off-handedly, she says, “Oh, and… The Housemother will be returning in a week or so. When she does… I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell her about how Glyph cut your head off. And—and about how I stabbed you.”
“Hm? Oh, uh, sure. No problem.”
“In return,” she says, “I won’t tell her about how you threatened me.”
“Really? Thanks!” I say. Wow, that’s unexpectedly nice of her! I didn’t think of her as the kind type, so this is certainly good news. “And that’s all you want?”
“Yes. That is, unless you do something to force us to introduce another rule.”
“I’ll try my best not to do something like that,” I tell her, very genuinely. Rules are bothersome, so the fewer, the better. “So, if all of the rules are done and over with… Does that mean we can eat supper with everyone else?”
She grumbles loudly. “Yes,” she says, through gritted teeth, “you can.”
“Well, well, well,” I say, rubbing my hands in anticipation. “In that case, how about we continue talking over… Whatever it is we have for dinner?”
Drawing back slightly, she casts a glance over at the mansion. “I don’t see a reason for continuing this… talk.”
“Obviously,” I say, in a way I hope isn’t too condescending, “you won’t want me sitting too close to the kids. But you also want to keep an eye on me these first few days. Especially tonight. Hence, it’s only reasonable to assume that we’ll be sitting together! Which, in turn, means that we can continue talking over some nice, hopefully warm food. Am I wrong?”
Her face furrows up as though she swallowed a whole lemon. She throws a skeptical look at Rice, who merely shrugs. After a while, she reluctantly replies, saying, “Yes, that’s true. You make a good point.”
Sometimes, I get the feeling that the people I’m talking to think I’m incapable of logical thought. This is reasonable, since I seldom think through my actions, but it still stings a bit. “So,” I say, taking a few calculated steps towards the mansion, “what’s for dinner? Soup? Stew? Bread?”
After a moment’s hesitation—maybe reconsidering the path she chose in life—Holly joins me, grumbling something about how I’m sure to be disappointed. This is unthinkable, since for me to be disappointed, I have to have expectations, which I do not. As long as Rice didn’t make it, I’ll eat it. I’m normal like that.
We enter the mansion, and Holly guides us to the canteen. This was not necessary, since I could smell the scent of food from miles away—not to mention the kids eating it.
The canteen is at the very end of the mansion’s east wing, close by the kitchen. It isn’t especially large, but the two long tables stretching across the middle of the room gives a different impression. There doesn’t seem to be any particular order in which the kids are seated, but they appear to naturally sort themselves by age. Interesting.
On the far side of the room are another pair of tables, alongside a fireplace. A bubbling cauldron hangs over the open flames, and seems to be responsible for the majority of the food-smell in the room. The table to the right of the fireplace is filled with food items, such as bread, vegetables, and various types of what appears to be tiny dumplings. The table on the other side of the fireplace is actually populated, though only by a single person—Glyph.
Even though we’ve very clearly entered the canteen, none of the kids have noticed us yet, probably thanks to my absolutely busted stealth skills. However, the same can’t be said for Glyph, who noticed us after only about five seconds. In an effort to be polite, I try to wave at her. Ah, no, that didn’t help. Hm? That’s a pretty weird facial expression. Is she choking on something? It actually looks as though she’s choking on something.
I turn to my side. “Holly, do you happen to know the Heimlich maneuver?”
“What?”
I point at Glyph, who is now starting to turn a vibrant shade of purple.
With no other provocation necessary, Holly rushes across the floor and over to Glyph, smacking her on the back as soon as she arrives. I happen to know that this isn’t a very effective way to combat choking, so I follow along at a calmer pace. Thankfully though, by the time I arrive at the table, Glyph has forced down the choking element and is recovering her energy by chugging beer. I almost feel like commenting on the odd choice of beverage, but going by the smell, I’m pretty sure almost everyone else in the room is also drinking beer? That’s… Should I be worried?
“I told you he was going to join us, why the heck are you shocked?”
“I wasn’t ready! Knowing something’s going to happen and actually experiencing it are two completely different—”
She notices my presence. Her face goes from purple to pale in a matter of seconds. I’d be more impressed if I hadn’t seen this kind of thing a few hundred times already. To try to relax the atmosphere a little, I give her a smile, and lean myself on the table, very casual. “Hey, Glyph! Thanks for letting us stay inside, I really—”
She stands up, bumps against the table so hard her bowl of soup topples over, and strides straight away from the table, across the floor, and out the door. Gone, just like that.
“Wow,” I say with a whistle. “Impressive power-walking speed. What was that, twenty kilometers per hour? Does she have a skill or something?”
Before either Rice or Holly can give me an answer, we all notice how the whole interaction has finally brought the kids’ attention to us. To me. Now, they’re looking at me, expressions differing greatly between the kids who attended the storytime and the kids who didn’t. A few seem to be on the verge of jumping from their seats to go talk to me, but the overall atmosphere keeps them in their seats.
…Ah, this is kind of awkward.
Still smiling, I wave at the kids, and give a tiny courtesy. “Don’t mind us! We’ll only be staying for supper, so… Just pretend we aren’t here, okay?”
The kids are still staring.
With an unsubtle grumble, Holly joins in as well. “Do you have feathers in your ears? Go back to eating!”
Now, finally, their gazes subside. And right about time, too. Being looked at by so many people makes me antsy. Nervous.
A few are still looking, or stealing glances, but Holly urges me away from it. “Come on, just grab some food.”
“Boy, oh boy,” I say, summoning my bowl from my inventory. Soup? Delicious! Bread? Wonderful! I’m not sure what these dumplings will be, but I am just as excited for them. “So, what am I looking at, Holly? What magical purgatory food am I to be served?”
“Gnocchi,” she deadpans.
My smile stagnates. “...Gnocchi?”
“Yes,” she says, her voice gaining a cruel edge, “gnocchi. Made from potatoes, and flour, and eggs. We had to substitute some of the potatoes with various root vegetables such as blueroots and greenbeets, but really…” She grins maliciously. “It’s just gnocchi. Ordinary, Earth-style gnocchi.”
My heart sinks in my chest. “Oh. Well, that’s…” I grip the bowl tighter in my hand. At least it isn’t Rice’s cooking. “Better than nothing!” I say triumphantly, moving past her and over to the food. A few spoonfuls of gnocchi, some soup on top, and then a piece of bread alongside it… It smells good. It actually smells good. Nothing foul, nothing tangy, nothing slimy… Ordinary food.
With my price in hand, I take a seat at the solitary table Glyph used to host, and wait for Holly and Rice to join me.
I can already tell I’m going to eat my fill—and maybe even a bit more.
