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❤️ Why It's Okay to Not Be a Sex God ❤️
🕑 Added 2023-04-07 15:33:58 +0000 UTC"I would like it canonically known that I am not very good at sex. And I'm also 100% good with it. I feel like there is so much unnecessary pressure to be good at genital aerobics. And I'm not here for it. Do you, be you, make whatever matters to you your core and fuck the rest."
I feel like a lot of people would feel uncomfortable sharing this with anyone, let a lone a couple of thousand people on the internet, but here's why it's not a big deal:
1. Because it's not.
2. Because it's not.
3. Because it's not.
Sex is not a big deal to me. It's not a priority, it's not a must, and it's definitely not where I place time and energy. I'm not good at sex because I'm not that interested in it. It's a skill, you need to practice a skill in order to be good at it. I don't practice, therefore I am not very skilled at it.
That is really all there is to it.
And I honestly feel really happy in saying that. I could pretend that I'm this sexually liberated woman who thrives on the thought of making NSFW content. But the reality is there's a market for this stuff that enables me to work from home and be with my dogs. That's why I'm here.
But when I see some of you guys comment about the pressure you feel to be good in bed, it makes me feel really sad. Because that's not where your worth lies. But on a more practical level, sex is something that does take time and effort to get good at.
I don't practice because I don't want to, therefore I'm not that great at it. I'm neither disastrous, nor amazing. I am just me. And you know what, this is probably the most comfortable I've been with myself ever.
We try on all these identifiers as we grow up: femme fatale, tomboy, nerd, empath, rebel, dom, sub, but I've found that I really am just me.
Sometimes I feel the urge to have an orgasm, but it is never a priority. And I know sex is important to a lot of people, but I also think, if we're truly honest with ourselves, it's also incredibly overhyped.
I just wanted to share a little bit about this because I see people feel so intensely about not being a good enough partner, having the right sized this or that, and I am 100% serious when I say, the right person will not give one shit.
The right person will love you, accept you and appreciate you for you.
Promise. Promise. Promise.
Comments
Camilo Iribarren
I’m sorry that things are tough but I like believe in your ability to understand yourself and that you’ll find your flow. It’s something that’s within us and we act on it because it’s already a part of us. Take the experience you got as a lesson of self discovery (not trying to sound any condescending because I’m at that beginner’s level because I’ve been on long breaks)
Exl Kaldra
Unfortunately I overthink it to the point where it has made it impossible for me to finish at times, which has made both me and my former partner frustrated because they thought I wasn't into them anymore even though I was the one to initiate most of the time, and after long enough it becomes painful.
Goy288
This is a very good lesson, but I can't help but find your use of the word "canonically" funny, as if you're implying that you yourself are in fact a fictional character. ...you are real though, right?
Camilo Iribarren
It’s ok to not be a sex god. The most important thing is that sex is an instinct that is innate in animals, but some of us tend to overthink it. It’s ok if you’re not good in the beginning or you took a long break and you’re back to beginner levels, it’ll come to you. Just go and be yourself
brocardo671
as a non sex haver i do not mind
CaliKodiak
Exactly! Nobody needs that kind of pressure, especially in that vulnerable a space.
TeacupAudio
Absolutely. If it’s important to you, that’s cool, but perpetuating this idea that everyone is in competition with one another to be sex gods - Nah, no thank you. Concentrate on what actually makes you happy, not what you think keeps you socially relevant :)
CaliKodiak
I'm just gonna call a spade a spade. If somebody thinks sex is something they need to be "objectively" "good" at, or that sexual intimacy is some kind of competition, you have missed the point.
TheFireIron 357
As a recovered sex & porn addict who spent 15 years chasing orgasms in an effort to fix my feelings of inadequacy, I'm only just finding out in my 3rd decade of living that it's such a small thing compared with person to person connection. And the more I step into that place, the more I love it. I love being able to look people in the eye and get to know them without silently demanding that it lead to something more. In America at least, the old culture of mystery and silence surrounding sex is breaking down in favor of the idea that it's just another thing we do. It's no more or less important than food, or sleep, or recreation. And it cannot replace anything else, no matter how much or what kind of sex you have. And thank you Tea for creating content that inspires me to ponder on the possibilities of real love in all its various, strange, and simple forms.
yamitenshi
I typed out a whole rant but then decided against it. I'll just stick to saying this: I wholeheartedly agree, people make *way* too much fuss about sex and what it should be for others. Everybody's different. Some people skip breakfast. Some people don't like beer. Some people don't care about sex. Why should any of these be a problem? Not to mention this weird emphasis on who's done what at what age. Just stop it. It doesn't matter. Whether you've banged 16 people on a single evening or you're a 50 year old virgin, *it doesn't matter*. Sex does not define your worth as a person. Hell, the whole concept of "virginity" is weird AF when you think about it.
Dylan G.
Genital aerobics is a new one, very good…🤣
TeacupAudio
Really feel you on this. I think a lot of people misinterpret not prioritising sex as 'cold' or 'unfeeling'. But in reality, it's just not making sex a focal point of the dynamic. For me, romantic relationships are about friendship and intimacy. Lets both keep our chins up and priorities what is actually important to us. If you're gonna be with anybody, you gotta be authentic :)
The Scar Of The Universe
I feel the same although I don’t much care for sex and telling people I’ve dated that always seems to cause problems
Lost Puppy
💜💜💜💜💔💜❣💕💞💓💗💖💝💜💜💜💜
deathmetal62
Thanks, Tea. mid 20s and never had a relationship, let alone sex, so this kind of talk helps me feel a bit less self-conscious about my lack of experience.
