Khenal
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Chapter Three-Hundred Ninety-Four
🕑 Added 2025-09-16 02:33:07 +0000 UTCI don’t quite convince Order to practice evil laughter together, but we’re both on the same page with the Earl, so that’s almost as good. I dunno exactly what Order is going to do to the Earl for this, but I know it’s not going to be something the Earl will enjoy, and that’s good enough for me.
As for my end… I think it’s about go time. I could try to buffalo the Earl a bit more and act stupid, but I don’t think that’ll draw him into anything until after we fake Rezlar’s death. Poe has been keeping an eye on Rhonda’s progress with the freezebang, and the reports say they look like they’re ready.
The last thing I need to do is to plan out the other encounters in the Forest. Because if a noble falls to his death in there and nobody is around to see it, did it even happen? Making him just vanish could be good if we wanted to draw this out more, but I think I’m about as ready as I can get now.
I spend some time in the library, working out the best place to have him fall for maximum exposure and safety, and I even get Teemo, Titania, and Goldilocks involved, too. My Voice translates as we all work to make it all look believable.
My first instincts to set it up in Spring, where the encounters tend to be easier, but Titania and Goldilocks insist Summer would be better. The vines in spring are more used to the chill than the summer ones, so it will be more likely for them to die to accidental attacks from freezebangs going over the side.
Summer will also be better for the density of other growth to help obscure where Rezlar lands. Spring is when everything is growing, but Summer has everything grown. A full plant is a lot more obtrusive than a sprout. It takes us over an hour to find the perfect spot to set up, with a branch that would let him fall right into a dense thicket of brambles.
Which then leaves how best to catch him. My first idea is to just have him fall into a healing slime, but at the speed he’ll be going, that might not be the best idea. They say water is like concrete at terminal velocity, and though I doubt that’s fully accurate, I’m pretty sure it takes significant training to dive into water at a good height. A belly flop from the top of the tree would not go well.
The next idea would be something like those big air bags in movies. Air compresses pretty well, but you have to let it deflate instead of bounce back. Otherwise the soft landing becomes a trampoline that might send them off course and land on the hard ground anyway. I think my aranea could make a big enough airbag for that, but we don’t have the time, and it’d be harder to hide.
But we do have Fluffles. Teemo gets him involved in the meeting and explains the air cushion to him, and my wingnoodle looks intrigued. Even better, we won’t need to rely only on air to save him. With Fluffles’ gravity and kinetic affinities, I can’t imagine someone better qualified to make sure Rezlar lands safely.
We prepare a good, deep shortcut where Rezlar will be landing, and Fluffles will be using a bit of wind to help make sure he stays on course. If something actually goes wrong, he’ll abandon subtlety and just catch him in the open. We won’t be able to get the Earl for his plot with the thieves, but he’s in deep enough crap with Order that he’s not going to get away scott free.
We’ll have some magmyrm and healing slimes in there with Fluffles just to make sure everything goes well. Grim isn’t coming by to give his two cents, so that makes me feel better about this, but that’s still no excuse to be lazy.
The rest of the day is spent either making the small tweaks we need to ensure safety, or planning for Rezlar’s secret stay. He’ll be basically cooped up in the secret sanctum the whole time, though I doubt he’ll mind. I kinda wish I had some more fiction stuff for him to read, though. All I really have is whatever Yvonne leaves on the shelves when she’s done with them. They’re all pretty good, she has good taste, but I dunno what he prefers to read when given the chance.
I’m sure Honey can manage to get him whatever he might like from her library, if he asks. While I try to work on the little details of his stay, I almost miss Pul showing up for his night course. Teemo has to poke me to get my attention.
“Hey Boss! Pul’s here.”
Hmm? Oh, right! We’ll probably not go too late tonight, so he can get some good sleep for tomorrow.
Teemo nods as Pul takes his seat in the Lecture Hall. “Alrighty, bud. It’s gonna be a shorter session tonight.”
The disguised changeling nods at that, looking a little relieved, but still pretty nervous. “So… tomorrow?”
Teemo chuckles. “Yeah, tomorrow.”
“Am I ready for something like this?”
Teemo nods for me. “Yeah, the Boss and I think you are. You’re not ready to advance your class just yet, but we think this might be just the sort of thing to solidify your path toward being a ninja, at least in a way that won’t go against everything the Boss stands for.”
Pul looks nervous at that statement. “But… why? If it’s so dangerous, why try to teach it to me? I know we talked about it before we started but…”
Teemo gives him the gentle smile that I can’t. “Because you don’t want violence. Remember what I said about giving the tools to you because you don’t want them? That’s an important thing to keep in mind. Because here’s a secret for you, Pul: anything can be dangerous. But by that same note, anything can be helpful, too. It’s all in how you choose to use it.”
“But…”
“If you only see one way to use something, get more creative. The difference between poison and medicine is in the dose. If you have a weapon that can cut through anything, you also have a saw that can make planks out of anything. Boss is confident you’ll be making more planks than not, Pul.”
“Is that why you… don’t just go deal with the Earl yourself?”
Teemo’s chuckle echoes my own. “One of them. Accountability is important, too. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” I choose to ignore Teemo thinking about my dinosaur spawner project while he says that. I have actual control over that, not fake control like in the movies!
The rodent just smirks at me while Pul considers that. “But… who are you accountable to? Rezlar says you’re a deity.”
“Oh, they’re the ones who have to be the most accountable,” answers Teemo. “And I don’t just mean to whatever concept they embody. They have their followers to answer to. That’s a lot of people to explain yourself to. Not to mention to themself. If they do live forever, that’s a long time to let hindsight come into sharp focus. That’s why Boss is careful. If he lives to regret something, he’ll be regretting it for a long time.”
Pul goes quiet at that, thinking it over for several long minutes before he speaks up again. “Do you think it’ll work?”
“Heh, Boss wouldn’t try it if he didn’t.”
“But will it?”
Teemo shrugs. “Maybe? Probably…” Pul looks ready to panic, prompting Teemo to clarify quickly. “Boss has done everything he can to make sure it does, and I don’t think it’s the most outlandish thing he’s ever done. Failure isn’t very likely, but it’s always an option. Boss says one of the best ways to avoid that option is to prepare for it in as many ways as possible, and make ways for it to fail safely.”
“How do you fail safely?” Pul asks, confused.
“Well, you’ve seen examples in anatomy, for one. There’s a lot of organs that can either keep working even when impaired or injured, or just have an extra for redundancy. Getting stabbed in a kidney would generally be considered a failure, but at least you have a spare.”
“I think I’d rather not get stabbed.”
Teemo smirks. “So would everyone, and yet people still get stabbed all the time. So I won’t guarantee everything will go smoothly tomorrow, I will say the Boss has done everything he can think of to ensure it, as have several scions. If the unthinkable does happen, I don’t think anyone would have been able to stop it.”
Pul still doesn’t look sure about it, but he does look less worried than before, and I can accept that. It’s going to be dangerous, but some people will force danger to try to get their way. We can’t just stop because something could happen. Life is dangerous, so all we can do is prepare the best we can and face it knowing we did our best.
Comments
William Anderson
TYFTC!
Ben Bass
TYFTC! I love the dig Teemo has at Thedeim about Jurassic Park, that is hilarious! I things will go awry, however I think everyone has done a lot of planning and prep work to minimize any potential hazards. This is the same philosophy that Thedeim used in the brief war, which while not perfect it did turn our well for nearly everyone.
