humbleheretic
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Ran away for a bit.
🕑 Added 2025-10-09 06:29:29 +0000 UTCFirst of all, allow me to say sorry for suddenly going ghost out of nowhere, fact of the matter is that I fell into a period of time where my mental state wasn’t the best and I handled it in the worst way possible. Although I did talk a bit in my Discord server, I did find myself hiding away from the community without word or update and that wasn’t the proper way to handle things at all.
So, what happened? Point blank and simple, I was in burnout and just didn’t really want to accept it. For a long time, I just kept going, taking “breaks” in between that weren’t actually breaks as even when I technically took a year off in 2024, I was pretty much still trying to force myself into the same routine with poor results in my opinion. When it finally came time to face the fact that my productivity was in the shits and I was struggling just to even write a thousand words a day, I ended up doing the most irresponsible thing and just ran from my problems, thinking that I’d eventually bounce back without actually doing anything about it.
Of course, there were other things going on in my life at the time that I already shared with those in my discord, taking care of a disabled loved one followed by the passing of said loved one, escalating hostile relations with my neighbouring country who’re infinitely more powerful military-wise, and so on. But even more than those things, the realization that I was struggling to write anywhere near how I did in my prime just made me feel like an absolute fraud, I kept getting up in my own head about all those that I was disappointing in the process and that really didn’t do well for my lethargic state of mind.
So yeah, the last few months have been rough to say the least and the more I sunk into it, the more my inability to write reared its ugly head as my mentality just wasn’t in the place to type out words.
But, now that I’ve come to this realization, what am I gonna do about it?
Well, as I already explained in my discord while hiding from the rest of the world, I’m going to commit myself to a change of pace, and actual, real change this time. In the coming year, I’ll be putting down the keyboard entirely and really giving my all to actually focus on art like I’ve been saying all this time. I’m not gonna tell myself that I’m doing art but end up doing far more writing while letting my tablet collect dust like the last time.
I’ve only recently found myself finally climbing out of this embarrassing slump but even still, what writing ability I’ve regained is going to be dedicated to wrapping up loose end so that I can go into next year more mentally free and with peace of mind, and an actual plan this time.
If you were to ask me if my head’s back in the right place, I’d honestly say not fully, at least not yet. But at the very least I’ve decided to stop being a damn coward and admit to myself when I’m in times of weakness, as all humans should. In my country, we have this saying, “The city could burn down, we jammin’ still.” I think it’s time I take that saying to heart and get back in the game with more honesty, transparency and less care about trying to be this perfect specimen that needs to try and one-up my past self at every turn.
Conclusion? I’m sorry for disappearing on everyone, I didn’t actually go anywhere, I was just hiding from my own head. That’s something I’m gonna try not to do from now on. One thing I’ve come to learn from my short time trying to be a “content creator” is that at the end of the day, your worst and most effective enemy can and will always be yourself.
Thanks everyone in my audience and all those that reached out, all those that have been waiting, I really appreciate you all. I’m gonna be trying my best to finish what I started for this year, even if it’s not everything I had hoped when the year began. And after getting these stories posted, 2026 is going to be my year to put down the pen for a bit and pick up a pencil. It very well might suck, maybe all the art I’ve shown so far could randomly turn out to be flukes. But guess what, it doesn’t really matter, at least not to me anymore.
I’m back and hoping to stay for as long as possible, thanks everyone for having me 😊
