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WCMBI - Chapter 271: Excitement And Anxiety
🕑 Added 2024-02-21 23:17:42 +0000 UTCIan, fervently calling after Melissa as she sobbed and left the room, struggled to rise to his feet. His bandaged body resisted his forced movements, but the attending physician approached and intervened.
"In your state, with the wounds still far from healed, you mustn't move so recklessly, Your Grace!" urged the doctor.
"Release me," Ian demanded.
"If you wish to continue conversing with Lady Melissa, allow me to escort her back to you! So please, I implore you."
"No, it won't do. I must apologize to Mel immediately. Release this grip!" Ian persisted.
The physician found it nearly impossible to fathom his behavior. Despite several self-inflicted injuries and peculiar actions, he considered that as the master's custodian, there must be some reason for such conduct. Nevertheless, this current extreme situation led to his boiling frustration.
"Why do you go to such lengths?" the physician exclaimed.
"Pardon?"
"Is it your belief that approaching Lady Melissa with an injured body will endear you to her? Rather than appealing to her sympathy for forgiveness, ceasing to move would be far more appropriate."
"There were other ways. Instead of seeking absolution through such extreme measures, a heartfelt apology from the depths of your soul would have sufficed. But why do you inflict such cruelty upon your own body, why!"
"Ha...."
Ian, who had only recently regained consciousness and was in a state of disarray due to excitement and anxiety, was brought to his senses by the physician's words. He wiped his face with trembling hands and spoke.
"You cannot comprehend."
"Is it because I am a beta?"
"Yes. Even though it's just a difference in pheromones, betas are incapable of understanding that realm."
"Then, please enlighten me."
"Why should I do that?"
The physician didn't back down even in the face of Ian's cold response. On the contrary, he considered that he had been remiss in not inquiring more about the matter, whether Ian was a duke or whether there was a duchess present. He now felt foolish for asking such questions only at this juncture.
"If you don't explain, I will never comprehend or empathize with pheromones in my lifetime. Therefore, I will invariably try to stop you, presuming it to be abuse when I see you desperately acting out of concern for the lady."
"You might be right."
"I may not know everything. Even alpha or omega, an individual's innermost feelings remain unknowable. Nevertheless, based on the partial knowledge I possess, I may still offer a different perspective."
"Pheromones are instinctive, clandestine entities. Sensitive yet persistent. The marks left by these pheromones are akin to leashes around one's neck, or rather, more accurately, they are like nooses around one's life. Surrendering everything to the person you love, even if they drag you around like a dog, even if they end your life, you would still welcome that moment ecstatically, that is the mark."
"Such..."
"How do I appear to you right now? Do I seem remorseful and despondent?"
"You seem like you might have regrets."
"What I regret now is not being able to follow Mel immediately. My damaged body means nothing. Even if I could gain some measure of sympathy from her, wouldn't you understand that? Do you empathize with me?"
The physician was left speechless by Ian's words. He wanted to answer, even if it were a lie, to convey understanding. But he couldn't find the words to say. What on earth was this mark they called "mate"? Was it love, or an inescapable curse brought on by pheromones?
As he looked at Ian, who was laughing while nursing his wounded body, thinking of Melissa all the while, the physician caught a glimpse, for the first time, of the profound, toxic relationship between alphas and omegas.
* * *
The venerable duke completed his discourse and departed, yet I found myself seated on the drawing-room sofa, lost in contemplation. The words he uttered were profoundly shocking, leaving me in utter disarray.
How could he possibly contemplate such a notion? Why, indeed?
When he confessed his love, I could scarcely believe it. I couldn't fathom why his heart had suddenly changed, dismissing it as a mere caprice, a trivial and whimsical fancy. Despite witnessing his earnest demeanor firsthand, doubts and denials persisted within me.
"But he claims to have engaged in such an act of branding."
The words came forth with an exasperatingly cold tone. No, it was not a solemnity that surfaced but a smile. How utterly amusing it seemed. Did Ian comprehend the hypocrisy of scorning branding so vehemently, only to find himself branding someone in return?
"Well, he couldn't have known, so he sent me away."
True, his decision was justifiable, given the expiration of our contract, but at that time, I had confessed to being branded by him.
"You did say to me back then that I should never find out."
The venerable duke is misconceiving matters. With little affection, one can scarcely envision alternative courses of action. Having already journeyed too far to turn back, could a mere sliver of affection truly alter the course?
The revelation of his branding was indeed surprising, yet the impact did not linger. It left me feeling somewhat, just slightly, pitiable. However, rather than empathy towards Ian, it was akin to a sense of camaraderie, for I, too, had experienced branding in the past.
"Now, there's no changing it."
What I needed to concern myself with immediately was Adella's condition and whether to mend or forsake my pheromone gland. It felt as though a stone rested upon my chest. Resolutely, I rose with a heavy heart.
Having made a promise to DS, I ventured not back to the martial training grounds but rather to the child's chamber. Breathing softly, I settled my hip next to the slumbering child.
"Dia."
I whispered the child's name, taking care not to rouse her from sleep.
"Dia."
Though I called her name again, I had no intention of waking her. It was merely a moment for numerous thoughts to pass through my mind.
I would no longer be able to visit DS. I had told her that standing by her side might lead to a new beginning for myself as well, but I remained indecisive.
"I'm sorry, my dear mother..."
As I gently caressed the sleeping child's face, I instantly engaged in teleportation. Upon returning to the martial training grounds, Lucia, Pedro, and Adella were there to greet me.
"I'm back."
"Mommy, mommy!"
Adella beamed, cooing and spreading her tiny arms wide. Lucia then handed the child over to me.
"Our Dela will start speaking soon."
"Dela is an ordinary child, right? She'll be incredibly clever."
"Thank you for looking after her."
"Oh, it's the least I can do. Oh, by the way, you didn't come along with us?"
Temporarily forgetting my meeting with Lorena, I quickly conveyed the message.
And so, the repetition of ordinary events ensued. Though I passed the time as usual, a tiny pebble rolled deep within my heart. Ignoring the sharp-edged pebble that pricked at my consciousness, I carried on as if nothing were amiss.
