Matthew Taranto
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The Lost BitMusical Songs (Part 2: The Musical Turnabout)
🕑 Added 2024-11-30 16:44:01 +0000 UTCHappy Thanksgiving! The current plan for The History of Nintendo is in two weeks, on Friday, December 13. I'll keep you posted if anything changes.
There are still plenty of song ideas for me to go over, but for this entry I'm going to showcase one in particular because there's a fair amount of info behind it.
As you might know, I was involved in the fan-project Turnabout Musical back in 2007-2009, which is really how I got my start online (even before BitF!). It was as a songwriter, so I thought it'd be fun to go back to that well for BitM and make an original song featuring the Phoenix Wright cast.
Then I took it a step further and thought, "Wouldn't it be fun to have it be an entire original mystery in song form?" But would putting a whodunnit in a scant 3 minutes be possible?
The answer is still out there, but I can at least provide this, a script that I wrote one evening that details the whole case. These would not be the lyrics to the song, but rather a foundation which I could eventually base the lyrics upon. Sadly, it never got to that point but I can at least give you the non-sung version of the story. It'll read better if you're familiar with the characters and the game. Here it is!
-----
THE MUSICAL TURNABOUT
Defendant: Dick Gumshoe
Defense Attorney: Phoenix Wright
Prosecuting Attorney: Miles Edgeworth
----- (Verse 1 & 2?)
JUDGE: Order! Court is now in session! Witness, your name and occupation please.
GUMSHOE: Uh, Dick Gumshoe. And…gumshoe, I guess!
JUDGE: The witness has been accused of stealing crucial evidence. The defense may begin its cross-examination.
PHOENIX: Detective, please recount to us your side of the story.
GUMSHOE: Sure thing, pal. Well, you were there! It all went down yesterday; we’d just closed the book on a case with another trademark Phoenix Wright victory. A beloved heirloom, the Delta Brooch, was stolen. And you figured out that one of our own witnesses did the crime via a series of convoluted schemes! Boy, was Prosecutor Payne’s face red!
EDGEWORTH: Let’s keep it moving, Detective.
GUMSHOE: Anyway, after the verdict was handed down, I headed back to the station to finish my shift.
PHOENIX: HOLD IT! When did you realize you’d forgotten the Delta Brooch?
GUMSHOE: Around the time when the chief asked me for it and threatened me with termination.
EDGEWORTH: Well-deserved, from the sounds of it.
GUMSHOE: I’d, uh, headed back to the courtroom within the hour, but when I showed up, everyone was gone and the brooch was nowhere to be found…
EDGEWORTH: As the one responsible for this evidence, Detective, you must realize how badly this reflects on you. Seems like an open-and-shut case to me.
PHOENIX: OBJECTION! If we’re to take Gumshoe at his word, he’s not a thief at all! At worst, he’s just guilty of being incompetent and criminally negligent!
GUMSHOE: Gee, thanks pal…
PHOENIX: There were a number of other people in that courtroom who could’ve stolen it when it was left on the witness stand. Prosecutor Payne, for instance…
EDGEWORTH: OBJECTION! Are we just blithely throwing out harsh accusations now towards others in our profession, Wright?
JUDGE: Sustained. I’ll have no finger-pointing without evidence in my court!
EDGEWORTH: Moreover, the defense attorney seems to have forgotten that he himself was stopped and searched on the way out of the courtroom yesterday, along with Prosecutor Payne! And the original culprit, of course.
PHOENIX: Of course.
EDGEWORTH: And…Detective? How about you? Were you searched either time you left the courthouse?
GUMSHOE: Ah, no sir.
PHOENIX: …Of course.
GUMSHOE: But I swear, I never saw the brooch when I came back! The only thing I noticed was Mr. Wright’s jacket that he’d forgotten.
EDGEWORTH: …His what?
GUMSHOE: His jacket! You know, that blue number he’s always wearin’. Just take a look!
PHOENIX: It’s true, amid all the hubbub, I’d left my jacket behind the desk and had forgotten to take it on my way out. Thanks for grabbing it for me, Gumshoe!
GUMSHOE: Hey, no problem, pal!
EDGEWORTH: Why was I not aware of this crucial detail!? Detective, you can expect this infraction to come straight out of your paycheck!
GUMSHOE: Not again…
EDGEWORTH: And when exactly did you return the blazer in question to the defense?
GUMSHOE: About ten minutes ago in the defense lobby.
EDGEWORTH: Th…this is outrageous, and completely against court protocol!
JUDGE: Either way, this new information doesn’t seem particularly relevant. So if there’s nothing else to add, defense…?
PHOENIX: (If I can’t turn this case around, Gumshoe is sunk. If only there was a way to know where the brooch currently was…)
JUDGE: …Defense? Do you have any other evidence to present?
——————————————— (Musical bridge)
PHOENIX: (Wait…turn this case around…?) …OBJECTION!
*presents Attorney’s Badge*
EDGEWORTH: Truly, Wright? Flashing your badge now, of all times?
PHOENIX: Take a closer look, Edgeworth!
EDGEWORTH: This is…WHAAAAAT!?
JUDGE: Would someone mind filling me in?
PHOENIX: Your Honor, when I’d left the courtroom yesterday, my jacket was left behind, alongside the Delta Brooch that Detective Gumshoe forgot on the witness stand. And with that, the scene was set for a little switch. Ladies and gentlemen…the Delta Brooch!
*Phoenix presents the brooch itself. The gallery goes nuts*
PHOENIX: Yes, it was hidden in plain sight all along…
*Phoenix turns the evidence around in his hand, showing that the back pin of the brooch is round, yellow and flat, looking very similar to Phoenix's attorney badge at a glance*
PHOENIX: …Right on my lapel! Someone seems to have switched my Attorney’s Badge with this little trinket!
EDGEWORTH: N…no…!
PHOENIX: And I have a pretty good idea of who that might be! A certain prosecutor who just lost his 100th case to me!
GUMSHOE: *gasp* Mr. Edgeworth!
PHOENIX: Er…not quite, Detective. *points* I’m speaking, of course, about Prosecutor Winston Payne! He switched the evidence with my badge to literally “pin” the crime on me! And due to the impromptu nature of this switch, I believe a fingerprint test will be all the evidence we need! Edgeworth, can the forensics team get it done quickly?
EDGEWORTH: …Yes.
JUDGE: Bailiff! Bring Prosecutor Payne into this courtroom immediately!
——————— (Final verse)
Payne is now on the witness stand
PAYNE: You don’t know what it’s like! Losing to that smug, spiky lawyer one-hundred times in a row! I threw his badge into Gourd Lake! It was hilarious! He deserves all of that and more!
JUDGE: Due to your misdeeds, you will be fined the full value of the missing attorney’s badge: forty-seven dollars!
PAYNE: I’M RUINED!
EDGEWORTH: …Well, this was a colossal waste of time.
PHOENIX: But at least we got to the truth!
EDGEWORTH: A remarkably stupid truth.
JUDGE: In light of incontrovertible evidence, this court finds the defendant, Dick Gumshoe, NOT GUILTY!
GUMSHOE: You’ve done it again, pal, instant noodles on me! Once I return this brooch to evidence. ...If I can find where I left it...
*Phoenix makes a really stupid face right at the camera*
-By Matthew
Comments
Jonathan Stein
I love this! The only unrealistic part is anybody actually remembering who Payne is between cases 🤣
Matthew Taranto
Thanks! Go for it.
Glen Straughn
This is great! Would it be alright with you if I ran this through Objection.lol's case maker?
