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17-4 Extraction

🕑 Added 2023-10-10 19:05:32 +0000 UTC

Comments

Brent Stinebaker

Thanks for feedback. I'll probably make some more improvements and edits.

Arcane

I believe this chapter and the last one need a touch up. There are some instances of unbolded text. I found these two chapters a bit confusing to read through, though perhaps that's just me. Also In my personal opinion, I feel that the scenes around the Gestalt are a bit too casual in that Avo's existence isn't really being understood. A person's mind is set ablaze and they are welmcomed into the Gestalt. That is horrifying. Now, I could be wrong in my assessment and I just might be confused today. My first paragraph is true though as there are some issues present in each chapter. Also, 17-3 was pasted twice. I wonder if we'll get a POV from the [Redacted]'s POV as Avo visits Dice to give her a reward. I hope so. I crave horror from the POV of other characters as they see Avo's Gestalt in action. If Avo can succusfully divide his mind in order to allow templates to control bodies, he could also divide his mind so that he can do multiple things at once. Don't know how something works? Make a fork of his mind, place it in a body and have it spend time learning. So much potential. Thanks for the chapter! I hope you aren't overworking yourself, Author!

Wanderingforworks

Interesting seeing something make Avo recoil. This chapter answers a lot of questions I had regarding modern "science" and inter-godclad conflicts. Thanks!


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