Brent Stinebaker
patreon
25-16 Stormjumpers
🕑 Added 2024-04-18 11:34:31 +0000 UTC+ATTENTION ALL STORMJUMPERS:
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY BROADCAST FROM THE THOUSAND PLAINS FRONT!
THE REMANING SCAARTHIAN FAITHER CLANHOLDS ARE BEGINNING THEIR GREATEST PUSH YET! THE BRANCHES OF THEIR STORMTREES ARE SPREADING FAR, AND THE ENDSTORM DRAWS CLOSE TO THE FERTILE CRESCENT OF THE PLAINS.
BUT TAKE HEART TO KNOW THEY STAND AGAINST THE GREATEST FIGHTING FORCE EVER ASSEMBLED IN THE HISTORY OF IDHEIM. THEY STAND AGAINST THE STORMJUMPERS.
YOUR DIRIGIBLES ARE BEING REASSIGNED, AND WITH THE CHANGING WINDS COMES NEW REQUISITIONS!
EXPERIENCE THE NEW SANG “SKINWEAVER OF THE INNER COURT” INFILTRATOR SUBCLASS, OR TRY ONE OF THE MANY NEW GRAFTS AVAILABLE, SUCH AS THE BONEMELTER SKULLGUN (THAT’S RIGHT! YOU CAN TRADE YOUR HELMET FOR A NEW WEAPON SLOT NOW!) REQUISITION NEW GOLEMS LIKE THE “DRD CODE-HAMMER” OR THE EXPERIMENTAL “PLAYER OF ARTERIAL MELODIES.” FINALLY, STAND A CHANCE TO WIN HYPER-LIMITED COSMETIC OPTIONS IN THE “FLESH AND STORM” CAMPAIGN.
OR DO YOUR PART AT HOME BY SUBMITTING YOUR SACRIFICE-BONDS (INFLATION ADJUSTED: 1 IMP FOR 15 DEATHS!)
THE CALL HAS BEEN SENT! WILL YOU ANSWER?
HEAD TO YOUR STORMCASTERS NOW AND PREPARE TO FALL!
IT’S GOING TO TAKE A STORM TO BREAK A STORM!+
25-16
Stormjumpers
–[The Uplift]–
As self-awareness slowly crept into the creature’s mind, it found itself questioning why it had so bloody many limbs.
Examining a lift paw, it squinted its eyes and turned to look at the grabbing appendages it had as well. What was the point of this, then? Why was this needed when it already had legs to rush or climb? And why was it sticking unevenly out of its back? Who masterful idiot placed them there?
It didn’t notice its departure from base animal instinct as irritation continued to swell. It didn’t know the words “dysphoria” or “unamused,” but it increasingly knew the feeling. With each passing second, the surrounding fog tickled its body, flooded its brain with a tingling sensation that scrubbed confusion from its thoughts.
More questions followed. Where was it? What was it? And why were those ridiculous people staring at it?
The girl who became metal was nice, of course. It knew she cared from all the rat-spiders she offered. Good huntress, but far too ugly to be his mother. Too unaesthetic. It hoped she wasn’t the one that gave her those stupid arms—that might make the creature stop purring altogether. But through the haze of its memories, the uplift that was once a cat remembered being owned by another, and made a sneer for the first time.
Right. The fat idiot. The worthless meat that died on his chair. He was likely to blame. How did the creature forget about him? And how was he remembering now?
A series of noises were exchanged between the four other entities present. One was a floating ball that looked like a dusty sun. Another was a dusty person composed of the same particulates. The metal-bird-dust-thing was loud—the creature decided it like that one the second least. But it was the predator that truly made the uplift’s spine tingle.
The monster was too tall for one. Unnecessarily so. Why did anything need to be that tall? And have that many teeth? Why, it had more teeth than the uplift—how offensive! Did it think it was better than the uplift? Did it think it could hunt more prey? And then there were the strange moving rings emitted from its head. Sometimes, when the predator spoke, the rings ignited and flickers of fire spilled out.
That disquieted the uplift most of all. It hated fire. Fire killed. Fire consumed. Fire made ash of all things, and ash couldn’t be eaten. Which made the uplift wonder why ash needed to exist in the first place.
As uplift’s grabbers sagged again, its patience finally gave, and it began swatting at the unneeded limbs with its forepaws. But clawing the stupid things hurt. So did biting them. What fresh hell was this? Where they going to make it chew its own limbs off so it could feel good? This wouldn’t do. This wouldn’t do at all.
Halting its attack, it straightened itself and marched over to the metal-girl and mewed. It didn’t have the words yet, but its intentions were clear. It chewed and pulled at the arms extended from its back, trying to convey the fullness of its desire using its eyes.
Yet, it wasn’t the girl that understood first, but the predator instead. A string of faint fire reached out from the monster’s halo and sank into the uplift’s mind. Suddenly, there was another presence with the uplift—this it knew; could feel. Reflexively, it hissed, swatting at the unseen intruder, trying to scare it off.
Unfortunately, all this did was make the predator hiss in return—but when it replied, its jaws were open wide, and it was speaking with the dusty-ones as well.
The metal-girl picked the uplift up, then, and it settled into her cold embrace with a frustrated yowl. Wonderful. Now it could be troubled both by the worthless grabbers and the growing ache inside its skull.
Isn’t intelligence grand?
–[Avo]–
“Isn’t intelligence grand,” Avo echoed, giving words to the cat’s thoughts.
The animal’s mind had thickened into a stable halo but five minutes ago, and though he desired to sink his consciousness into it immediately, the EGIs bade him to wait a few moments more until stability was certain.
When he did, though, the insight it granted was sublime. It was like viewing the world through a narrow pinhole of comprehension again. So much of consciousness was taken for granted; most were ignorant of the things simpler creatures never noticed. If Avo had to define the shape of sophancy, it would be the awareness and conceptualization of patterns within and without.
His Liminal Frame twitched as something new expanded inside him. Curious, he turned his attention from the cat to his Soulscape, and found his satisfaction doubled.
EPIPHANY INTERNALIZED
GENERATING DEFINEMENT FROM EXISTING PATTERNS…
->DEFINEMENT: EMPATHY (X) - “Asymmetry is not ignorance. Alien is only a concept of relativity. As I can be myself and another, so too can I think as another while being myself. All that they are, I can encompass. All that they think, I can conceptualize. Memory is memory. Knowledge is knowledge. Perception is perception.
NOW CAPABLE OF SUB-SOPHANT SYNCHRONIZATION
Avo let out a quiet hissing laugh in response. “Hard to tell who is being uplifted at this point. Now understand the structure of the cat’s mind. Learning its architecture has expanded my ontology.”
Only Way To Be Sure whistled. {Yeah, the benefits of being an infomorph are—wait, you saying that I can turn your mind into being like a cat?}
That was a good question. What did this new Definement fully do? Just as the question left him, one of Sunrise’s drones darted past, and, all too naturally, Avo’s ghosts tunneled into its awareness if by magnetism, and his consciousness became bifurcated.
He remained himself, but also saw the world in a kaleidoscope of perspectives at the same time—each aspect of the synchronite slowly passing into him. Instinctual pathways rushed through him as Sunrise disconnected the drone from the swarm, and Avo felt a spike in his cog-cap as he found himself perceiving the world as a sophont being and base animal both.
The dissonant was agony to his templates, but he remained. He endured. He aligned.
Across two asymmetrical minds, the Overheaven laid a bridge forged by absolute acceptance, and the yolk of Avo’s consciousness reached out to enwreath the shapeless impulses, instincts, and stimuli that was a severed drone.
Quietly, Avo began to chuckle once more, and naked fear revealed itself on Kant’s face. {Avo? What was happened? Why are you laughing like that?}
“Will be getting very acquainted with “lesser” creatures soon. Aratnids. Bugs. Animals. Much I have to learn. So much. I think I might even be able to imprint myself on them.”
And with that, Kant just sighed. {What have we done?}
Only Way To Be Sure, threw a virtual arm around his exhausted comrade’s shoulder. {What we intended to, Kant. We’re uplifting the savages.}
{Hooray,} Kant cheered listlessly.
***
–[Kare]–
Kare had never been called so many slurs in her life. Not in all her time as a Paladin. Not even when she stumbled across that Massist bar on her twentieth namesday.
From across the turbulence skies, beyond a veil of breaking clouds, mind-flung waves of factional epitaphs and vulgarity exploded outward like broadside salvos from an opposing dirigible. Phantasmal echoes carried messages conveyances of loathing, and Kare’s fellow players were no better, howling their own hatred right back.
+LICK ME, ORI-FUCK! LIIIIICCCCKKKKK MEEE!+
+---cut you open and piss into your wounds—+
+Sowfuckingsowfuckcuntcuntsowhalfstrand…+
+Would you like to buy a rope to kill yourself with? I have just the color for you fuckers! SILVER!+
+I wouldn’t fuck you! I wouldn’t even have my nu-dog fuck you! That’s animal cruelty! You so fucking ugly my dog’s going to need therapy! Apologize, motherfuck!+
A column of other players stood upon one another’s shoulders, crouching and thrusting at a rival statue of stacked humanity doing the very same thing. Several players were instantly booted from the mindscape as multiple Lustaways activated, and clouds of censorship rose up like dirt flung high by artillery.
In the middle of the chaos was Kare. Kare, who never found any interest in playing mem-sims. Kare, who had no idea what she was doing, what to expect, or how she was about to perform. Kare, who opened her Grafts and Loadout menu once again to gaze upon the Chief Paladin’s “secondary” character.
Makiro the Scalper
Class - Glaive
Honor - 100 (ASCENSION X)
Death Bonds - 23,521,344,134
Weapon
->Primary - DART-9 Soulcutter Rifle
->Secondary - Glaive
->Grafts - Neurachem; Pain Editor; Neural Bifurcator; Ursine Exoskin
->Exo-Rig - Noriko Paranoia II
->Miracles - Shadowcrawler (Golem); “Treachery of Light” (Canon); “Namecaller” (Canon)
Makiro the Scalper, true to their title, had a lot of scalps. Potentially a bit too many. There were twelve hanging from his neck in a vulgar necklace, twice as many around their belt, three that formed some kind of macabre cross-guard on their glaive, and two more on his posterior for some reason.
The absurdity continued with how the glaive was built. It was like someone turned every slider option on the character menu to the max. His eyes were too big; his neck was too thick; his ears were too wide; his nose left no room for his mouth; his legs were barrels; his midsection was a pillar; his chest was wider than most doorways; his biceps clipped out of his ebony-lacquered armor; his middle fingers extended from his waist all the way to the ground.
And then there was the characters titles…
Achievements - [Post-Abortionist of Kosgans]; [Holemaking, Skull-Fucker]; [War Hero of Kalkasin]; [Butcher of Kalkasin]; [Allegic to Objectives]; [K/D Over W/L]; [Your Mother’s Too Ugly and Your Father Doesn’t Have the Circumference]...
It just went on and on. Something inside Kare did a flip when saw all the time Naeko amassed on this account: [438,300 Hours Played].
+And… this is your reserve account,+ She asked him tentatively.
Faintly, she could hear Naeko humming back in the real while Maru made a scoffing noise.
+One of them,+ Maru answered on the Chief Paladin’s behalf. +Hells, I haven’t seen him use this one in years.+
+Months,+ Naeko replied. +I had to get the triple 100 Honor at Tenth Ascension to get a booster pack discount. That took a while. But all good things are worth the effort, Kare. Trust me on that.+
Despite her incredulity, Kare knew the ways of being someone’s junior well. +Yes, Chief Naeko. Of course.+
That made Naeko rumble with laughter. +See, Maru? The juv’s sharp as a knife. You should be more like her, you know. Use your diplomacy. Talk to people were they’re at. Protect. Serve…+
As Naeko went on, Kare couldn’t help but stare numbly at the number of hours he put in. In the background, a stream of curses left Maru, and the contents of his speech merged perfectly with the factional war happening between the dirigibles.
+Okay,+ Kare breathed. +I’m going to cast hi—our benefactor now. You want him to enter the game, right?+
A beat of consideration followed. +Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good. On the opposite dirigible if he can. You know there used to be only one airship for everyone. A few million nullings later and the two needed to be separated and full-time Necros hired to maintain N-Sec for the lobbies. Hells, we managed to source some of our best Exorcists from here, I think.+
+No we fucking didn’t,+ Maru sighed. +We didn’t hire anyone who Necroed for this stupid fucking game—+
+Well, you should have—+
+Godsdammit Naeko.+
+Kare.+ Avo’s voice made her jolt in surprise, causing the action to be performed by her in-game avatar. As she exited out of the customization menu, she found someone emoting at the opposition using a [SILENCE! NAEKO PALM!] artifact on the Highflame insignia.
+Avo,+ Kare replied, expecting Naeko to notice or respond. Confusion quickly followed when he didn’t.
+Nothing wrong with your Meta. Just keeping them spoofed for now. Hm. Wants to meet in the game. Why the masquerade. Could shape myself from your ghosts now. Speak directly. Almost.+
+Chief Paladin’s request,+ she replied. +I think he wants to see how your perform in game. Observe you through me.+
+Doesn’t understand the full nature of my capabilities then.+
+I dont’ think I do either, honestly.+
The once-ghoul grunted. +Fair.+
+Did you do something with your mind? When you speak now… I feel… more weight. My Frame—+
+Will be entering the game soon. Cast you the mem-data on who to look for in a few seconds. Look forward to talk with Naeko. Your uncle sends his regards as well.+
Avo went silent a moment thereafter, and only then did Kare respond to the last part. +Wait, what do you mean my uncle sends his regards?+
***
–[Avo]–
+Really? None of you half-strands play Stormjumpers?+ Cala asked. A series of half-hearted murmurs and indifferent thoughts answered her. The thoughtcaster sighed. +It’s like none of you motherfuckers have hobbies anymore. What do you guys do with your time?+
+Kill actual people,+ Draus answered.
+I watch stuff,+ Chambers said, keeping it vague.
Kae cleared her throat. +You know, there is research that shows that mem-sim addiction—+
+A-ba-ba-ba,+ Cala interrupted, cutting the Agnos off before that speech played out again. +I got it. I’m not the one you should be talking too; Naeko loves this game a little-bitty-too-fucking-much. Well, I guess I’ll be doing the hard work while Avo backseat—uh—back-minds me the entire time.+
+I believe in you,+ Chambers said, offering his support.
+Well, I don’t. I’m pretty bad at sims like these. But I can survive long enough to exchange a few casts. I think.+
While the cadre continued their conversation and Cala logged into her character, Avo took to shaping the situation further. The entire arrangement was quite honestly ridiculous, but if it got him a chance to speak semi-directly with Naeko, he would comply. That didn’t mean he needed to approach this as a player. Rather, Calal would be his forward facing asset—would use her own account to draw the Chief Paladin’s attention.
They spoke before. There was history that could be used.
Meanwhile, Avo would do his best to “nudge” the other players to stay out of his way. Even as Cala logged into the lobby, Avo was spreading his splinters across all minds present. Soon, he would have access to even the foundational sequences the mem-sim ran off of. That would allow him to outright twist the rules of the game if such a thing was needed, but overall, he wanted to keep things quiet and unnoticed.
And then, immediately after thinking with regard to operational subtly, one of his splinters bounced off the mind of a player. It made it three sequences through its outer wards before it impacted a veil—a veil of static and incomprehension.
A veil that expanded like dust-choked stratocumulus. A veil that, despite preventing Avo from achieving full penetration, could not hide the spike of surprise originating from the hidden mind.
Sequences lit up in Avo’s mind, and symmetrical patterns replied to him through the haze. More than that, however, he felt a familiar pressure rattle against his ontology—a pressure he felt but hours ago the same day.
Corner groaned. [You gotta be fucking kidding me—]
Again? We’re encountering them again?
Avo’s warmind of Ignorance trembled in the presence of its kindred, and the Infacer replied from behind the veil, sounding almost sheepish. {Dreamer?}
Suddenly, the cadre went deathly silent as Avo bit back both tension and frustration. +Infacer. Didn’t expect to run into you. Again.+
An awkward pause followed. {...Yes. What are you doing here?}
Yeah. Like Avo was going to tell him anything honest. +Sometimes I play. Takes the stress off.+
Another beat followed. {I see. I… That is also why I am here.}
A resonance passed through Hysteria once more, and Avo found a second symmetry forming between him and the EGI: they even chose the same lie.
Comments
Brady Fiola
Avo is definitely going to have to control a character now 🤣. I love that the Infacer is likely being truthful. Avo has gotta play with the guy.
Craig
This story consistently impresses me
Deathly_God
I feel like this would be as awkward as seeing a username you recognize in a P*rnhub comment section.
Jeff Casey
So fucking funny I love it
Emo Used HM01
Man this match is gunna be one for the books haha
Bluecimmers
Hahahahaha!
