Brent Stinebaker
patreon
II-125 Return Offer
🕑 Added 2025-07-09 15:19:09 +0000 UTCAlright, so here's a lesson on negotiating with the Circles of the Claimed Hells.
First off, figure out what they want. Now this is simple, stupid, and very complex at the same time, because as mentioned by a previous writer, the Circles sometimes don't know what they want either. They are composed of individuals with their own interests. That being said, they are very much aligned based on sin, and so you can rely on them to have the same ugly shitty habits and to show their hand a specific way. No one can hide what they're doing forever, so if you can get intelligence about what their actions are, their history of behavior, you're going to be pretty golden.
Now after you get that down, the next part is very simple. You protect your assets, you protect the people you care about, because this is the claimed hells and everyone you negotiate with is an asshole, a psychopath, or something else. By this I mean they will send people after the ones you care about, they will blackmail you. If you've done something bad before, you better hide it or you better come out on yourself. You know, come clean, let the poison out. The claimed hells isn't big on honesty, but I've found that sometimes being a good person and being honest is your biggest advantage here.
After that, they're going to try to bribe you, they're going to try to use all the sins against you. They're going to use lust, they're going to use greed, they're going to use all sorts of things. Expect honeypots, expect them to be offering you things that are basically all you can dream about, you know, all the money in the world or something crap like that. But understand that if they're offering you all the money in the world, there's a bigger reward to be gained, and do not let them fuck you out of it.
And for god's sake, don't sleep with a succubus. It's not worth it. I mean, it'll feel real good, but then all the STDs you'll get will literally try to make your skin turn against you. Yeah, I said that. It's real. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I've learned this firsthand, okay, just don't.
However, if you are in the rare situation where you practically hold all the cards, or you're so powerful compared to the people you're talking to that they can't do anything about you, you should take advantage and squeeze them. Again, remember, they're mostly a loose collection of individuals, self-interested. Use their sin against them, and turn them against each other. This place is built off of betrayal, and if you can induce a cascade of betrayals, oh boy, the windfall will be enormous.
-The Trespasser’s Compendium
II-125
Counteroffer
Two cups of tea remained untouched before the Count of Pride and his adversary. The Old Man swallowed awkwardly as he stared at the young master. Wei An Wei sat behind a table while bottle-feeding an infant. Beside him was that oversized girl that used to be a princess. John Bishop, who currently had but looked to be some kind of demonic merger between a cat and a buzzsaw, the eternal traitor and karmic slave, William Yu, three Oathbearers, some kind of three-headed elf monstrosity, a frozen floating sword—wait, that was Mourning. What was Mourning doing here without her damn brother? Also Queen Ellena and Rafaelwere both looking rather roughed up after their brief tussle outside.
"So," Wei began clasping his hands together. The infant made out a displeased noise and Way found himself patting its back again. "So," he said, frowning at the infant for ruining his moment, "I see that they have made you their messenger, sending you here to greet me. I am offended on your behalf, Old Man."
The Old Man tried not to grit his teeth. "That's quite all right."
"Sometimes, for the benefit of your circle, you do things that are inconvenient," Wei said, "offensive."
"I understand, I completely do," the young master replied nonchalantly. The infant in his hands burped. Wei smiled.
"Yes, finally got that burp, but yes, Old Man, I'd crashed your gala. I murdered several very important people at your gala, and now they send you to me because they blame this on you?" He narrowed his eyes, asking the Old Man, trying to clarify where the count of pride stood.
Old Man scoffed with annoyance. "I'm here because an enterprising king has kicked me in your direction. The other stuff was an excuse, but yeah, pride wants you. The other circles are worried, but they're also sending out feelers. I wouldn't be surprised if they start sending people after you, too."
Wei nodded, not unexpected, but ultimately he gestured around him. "What does this look like to you?"
"It looks like a madhouse," the Old Man said honestly. "Jesus Christ, kid, what the hell are you running here? You got, please don't tell me that kid's yours."
"What? No, I’m looking after him for Vendrian."
"What? Why?"
“Reasons I will not explain,” Wei replied with a frown. “He’s actually a rather nice infant. Quite reasonable.”
Little baby Justice made a gurgling noise.
The Old Man sighed. “Alright. Fine. Tell me one thing… The Collectress… so was it hard? Did she put up much of a fight?"
"The Collectress," Wei frowned, "I can barely remember how she died now. A lot of people have died after her, it has filled my mind. It's like a messy canvas. Too many pictures, too many instances, too many colors. I can barely remember my battle with Lein or Goldskull, even.”
The Old Man just stared. "You're shitting me."
"I'm afraid I'm not," Wei said. "I required a vacation after the struggle against Lein, and so I decided to take one in the base. General MacArthur sends regards to some of your men." The young bastard grinned.
The Old Man's eyes widened. "Wait, you were a part of that? You were the reason behind that massacre? What the fuck, kid? I thought we were..."
"You thought nothing," Wei said, cutting him off. "Come now. Why do we continue playing these games? Why do you refuse to be honest with me? I know that I bother you, I know that I have offended you. But now you play the host still, the reluctant, jovial, elderly host." But Wei leaned in closer, and his voice fell low. "Yet there are not really any old people in hell. Age is a natural thing, and that joviality, it's just means to get what you want. Well, my honesty is mine, I am not joining the circle. I am not going to be blackmailed, or punished, or pressured into doing anything I do not desire."
The Old Man opened his mouth, Wei kept talking, "I am going to save you your breath. You are likely going to either threaten or warn me that people more powerful and more cruel than you will be sent. Should you fail in your soft recruitment effort, I understand. I have already killed some of those people."
The Old Man's eyes widened, "what?”
“The Circle of Lust sent a woman a few days ago. She managed to charm several people on the way in, and then she tried to charm Agnesia."
"You wouldn't believe the dress she was wearing," Agnesia said, her eyes narrowed. "There were holes in inappropriate places. You also wouldn't believe how many times I had to twist her before she stopped twitching. Another thing I hate about those Succubi, they have such flexible spines."
"And then there was greed. Come to make a deal with us. Come to bring the temple of capitalism to our hallowed place of atheistic sanctuary," Rafael said. "Praise be to the guided market and a structured planned economy." The Lich's voice was deeply sarcastic, but also mostly not. It was a layered thing, like irony to protect a genuine belief.
The Old Man just stared.
"And now the Circle of Pride sends you. All these messengers being sent, they're all counts. But the thing is, I have realized you are all counts that they are willing to lose. Or at least they're willing to trade to see how I might respond." Wei leaned back in his chair, Justice made a happy cooing noise. "I'm not going to kill you, the Old Man. You're kind enough to let me stay in your abode. You're kind enough to lend me your gala and give me the opportunity to eliminate several adversaries and recruit a very powerful ally. And ultimately, I think you're more useful to me alive for now rather than dead."
The Old Man clenched his jaw. "You know, this isn't my actual body, right?"
"Yes," Weihe said. "I know all about your skills, your powers. Bishop?”
Bishop simply grunted. "Yeah, you know, the thing about this kid is when he hits you, things stay broken. It don't matter that this isn't actually you. The part of you that you dedicated to this, this clone, it's not coming back. I got a question for you now, Old Man. How many clones do you think you can spare before he chipped you down from a count to a nobody?"
The Old Man bared his teeth at Bishop. "Bullshit. No one has the power to destroy—”
Wei flung something into the Old Man. It crashed into him, and suddenly he had a level. He hadn't had a level gain in years. No, wait, that wasn't a level. That was an Aspect Advancement point.
“What the hell was this?” the Old Man breathed. That was, that was an aspect fragment.
Wei said. His breath was still. Almost too still. But there was an expression of pleasure on his face. He had been waiting for this moment. Preparing to surprise the Old Man. He succeeded.
"How the hell did you, how do you just, did Mepheleon put you up to this?" the Old Man narrowed his eyes at Wei. "Was that, is that what's going on? Is the fucking Harbinger playing games again? Trying to tweak us against each other? Aren't you even real? Are you just..." His breath caught. "Mepheleon , is that you? Has it been you this entire time?"
Everyone stared at Wei. Wei couldn't help it. He threw his head back and he laughed. "Me, Mephileon. No, no, no, not at all. Impossible. We are too different. But right now, I suppose what we can say is that my interests and his interests are aligned. Aligned in the same way that you share a sin with most people of your circle. But that doesn't make you true allies, does it? That doesn't guarantee that you look out for each other, that you will protect each other when you are in danger, that you won't just send each other to face an uncertain demise at the hands of an enemy you don't fully comprehend. He is using me, I am using what he has offered me, and you have come to be used, or to use me. This is the Claimed Hells. And for too long, I have been an angry, vicious child, rather than a calculated practitioner. I'm going to try to change that now."
Wei sneered. "Try it. Try applying the Aspect Advancement.”
Inside, the Old Man's heart was pounding. He was still staring at the Aspect Advancement point.
"It's true, it works," Wei said. "Put the aspect point anywhere you want, if you doubt me."
The Old Man hesitated, but then he directed the advancement into his constitution. He felt himself grow hardier, tougher. He hadn't felt that in years. The Old Man breathed. "It's been years since. How the fuck did you do that?"
"I cannot create Essence," Wei admitted freely. He gestured with an open hand, as if this was a casual negotiation. "So, there are only so many other possibilities."
Old Man regarded him. "It's an illusion, a temporary buff, some kind of skill that you got from envy."
Way shook his head. "I know little of envy, other than the fact that they are my enemy. All circles are my enemy." Wei's expression turned impossibly hard. "Every thing that exists that is not mine, that is not of the Drowned SKy Skye sect, may be my enemy." And he said it with such certainty that the Old Man struggled not to get up and run. "But even so, there are levels to enemies. There are ways to treat your adversaries. The question is, are you a worthy adversary, one deserved of respect and potentially kindness in the condition of your defeat? Or are you an adversary that is simply a mad dog, a problem, something I have to put down and eliminate for good? That, that is a question I ask myself when I face people. And that is a question I think I've answered with you. I'm not going to put you down like a mad dog."
Wei rose from behind his table, and then he chucked something else in the Old Man. It was another shard, but this time, this time the Old Man blinked. "What the hell is a Concept Shard?"
"Oh, your core. This must have been some time since you've gained advancement there. Try, try attaching it to one of your concept cores."
The Old Man paused, and he did. Suddenly, his concept core of domination grew. Only a little bit, but it suddenly grew. He nearly threw up right then and there. "This kind of power? You have a system, don't you?" the Old Man choked out.
Wei smiled. "I cannot confirm nor deny that." Wei paused. He looked to Bishop. "I liked that. I liked that statement. You were right.”
"I told you," Bishop said, "I cannot confirm nor deny is the greatest way to taunt someone. Because it is yes. But if they say yes, you can say no. And that really fucks a motherfucker up mentally.”
"What? How? You have a Class, too? You..." He stared at Wei's glaive. The glaive that had been hovering beside him this entire time. "That's a Eidolon."
"Good, good," Wei said. "I see why you've lasted so long in the Claimed Hells now. However, this insight, this deduction will not help you. You're going to carry a message from me back now. You will go back to whatever king or prince or duchess or duke sent you here. You're going to talk to them. You're going to tell them that they are to meet me. They are to meet me here in the Unblossomed. And they are to meet me among their peers."
"Among their peers?" the Old Man muttered. "What do you mean among their peers? What peers? They don't have peers. They're kings and princes for a reason."
"But they have adversaries from other circles. A good rival is your peer, after all."
And the Old Man's mind wailed with disbelief. "You want to have every Circle's King or Queen or prince or princess get together inside here."
"Yes," Wei said. "Absolutely certain."
"They're going to tear each other apart. They're going to leave this place a burning crater."
"Well, I hope for their sake that they do not. It would strongly displease me, and they would lose out," I smiled. Wei smiled on some very, very lucrative, very easy-to-access concept shards and aspect shards. "Imagine. Imagine no more grinding, no more suffering, toils after centuries. Only again one measly level." Wei stared at him. "You don't want to know what my class level is."
The Old Man didn't say anything.
Wei told him anyway. "It's still a hundred. I haven't done anything with it. I've been ignoring it because I want to stay within this threshold once I've achieved Hell's Vanguard. After that, after that, I'm going to stuff it full. Do you understand? I'm going to go on a killing spree across the Fathoms, killing every vampire, every Unfallen, every Inheritor I can find, just to overstuff my class again, to overstuff every class, belonging to every person under my command, and potentially a few allies, or a harmless enemy."
He leaned in close again, judging the Old Man. "Do you think you can be a harmless enemy? How proud are you, Old Man? Do you want power more than you want to feel like you're in charge?"
The Old Man was shaking. Shaking because he didn't want to believe this. Shaking because the boy across from him wasn't the same as the one that wandered into his gala just a few measly weeks ago.
"Okay. I’m done with this. Now leave," he said, waving the Old Man away. We reached over and took the Old Man's unsipped cup of tea away—then drank it. "And our conversation here has been lucrative and fruitful and informative, at least for me. But you are now an eyewitness, and you bear the mark of my system. You can tell them. Tell your king, your prince, whatever. Tell them what I can do. Let them tell their peers what I can do. And I will wait, and they will come to me. I know they will come to me. And when that happens, depending on what happens, you will be strongly rewarded or they will torture you to death slowly."
Wei smiled, and what a cold smile it was. The same one that the Old Man saw on William Yu's face in the corner of his eye. "When you do reach that point of misery or glory, I'm going to give you another offer. You can come to me. You can be an outer disciple here. You can be a member of the Drowned Sky Sect. And I will show you wonders beyond mere pride. I will show you things you could have learned in your youth, Old Man. But that's up to you. I am a just patriarch. I am a kind patriarch. And I can be a benevolent patriarch. But I am not a soft patriarch. And I'm not a tyrannical patriarch. I am not your king. I am not your prince. I am not your owner. I simply wish to be everyone's master. My own master."
A silence followed. Wei leaned back in his chair and looked aside. "Well, I've said all I could say. Now, I believe it is time for me to go." He rose, off the ground, and began drifting through the air. The Old Man stared, not comprehending why Wei was doing this. And then he felt the gusts sweeping over the infant. The infant that was now fidgeting and whimpering.
"This one has had an accident. I must practice my changing skills again."
"I—" the Old Man sputtered.
Wei funneled some of the smell towards him. He gagged. "Leave. You do not want to be here for this unless you want to show me a new technique. One that will help me make this little one happy as soon as possible." He reached out with a pinky, and the small child grabbed it.
The Old Man got out of his chair, and he staggered away. He staggered away before he had his own accident, just like the little boy did. This… This was unthinkable. What the hell did he invite into his home? What the hells was this kid?
***
As the Old Man fled, Wei stared at him and began chuckling. "You were right," he stared at Bishop, and then, awkwardly, at his father. "You were right," he repeated. "He is something of a coward."
"Yeah, and you have something everyone here wants," William said. "Congratulations, you punted him back. Now, he hits the hornet's nest, and they all come for us."
"Good," Wei said. "If they can come for us, then perhaps I can make them go for each other. Isn't that right, Lady Ellena?"
The queen's expression hardened. "That is not just right, that is how things always are. Now the great game begins. Let us see if I still remember how it’s played.”
