Featherscape
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Empress *Part 13*
🕑 Added 2022-04-01 06:01:02 +0000 UTCA lone rooster crowed, flaying its feathers, as the sun began peeking over the Xian hillscape. The village was its usual temperate calm. A cool breeze rushed through, scattering leaves down the interwoven pathways like clusters of visitors going about their day. Farmers toiled away to their gardens. Pigs and chickens woke and began their restless sauntering through their pens. Women carried large baskets of crops between stalks and stalls. Truthfully, Xian was quietly bustling in the way that only villages of its size and notoriety could balance. Rushing and calm like a flowing river.
In her own garden, Tian had her knees pressed into the shapely plowed soil, digging up cabbage heads. She threw the small bundles into a basket by her side. Tian wiped a layer of sweat from her head. Her hands were dark and stained from the dirt. An apron around her waist was covered with many days worth of grime and mud. Her skin glistened and burned in the morning sun. Small splotches of dirt had been, unknownst to her, scattered across her face. From around her house, Meiling walked out carrying several baskets of freshly gathered eggs.
"Hey, how mad would you be if I dropped a few?" Meiling asked. Tian continued to work without looking up.
"Depends on how many," Tian said. Meiling set down her load carefully.
"Just a few," said Meiling with a short pause, "... baskets." Tian smirked and looked back at her.
"I'd tell you to get to scrubbing the pigs clean," said Tian.
"Anything I can do to help," Meiling said, playfully. She walked over to a full basket of plucked cabbage heads and brought it to a nearby irrigated stream of water that cut through the yard. She took one head out and began to wash it off.
"Sounds like you've just got nothing better to do," said Tian. She looked over to Meiling sitting and washing quietly. The strong and playful loudmouth sat with a gentle smile on her face. Her hands toiled away at the work while her eyes seemed distant, her focus fluttering freely. Even through the dirt and sweat of the morning work, her smile was as radiant as the sunrise itself. Tian smiled at Meiling’s inattentive expression. "Been a while since you've been by to help. I really appreciate it." Meiling said nothing, continuing to wash off the heads of cabbage as she tore strands of roots still hanging off of them. Tian gave her a moment to respond. "Mei?" Meiling blinked and turned around.
"Hm?" Meiling asked. "Oh, did you say something?" A wise smile stretched across Tian’s lips. She looked away and chuckled. "What?"
"Just saying how much father and I appreciate you stopping by," Tian said. "It's a big help, especially with how hard everything's been on him."
"Of course," Meiling said. "It's hard on you too, you know? Don't undersell yourself. I want to make sure that you're not doing too much, even though we both know you will anyway."
"I'm fine," Tian said. She dropped the last ball of cabbage in a half-full basket. Tian brushed her hands off on her apron and walked over to where Meiling had sat the baskets of eggs. "It's been hard on us both, sure, but I know that I'll be fine. It's him that I'm worried about."
"He's a tough old stone, that one," Meiling said. Tian nodded.
"Just wish he would come home," said Tian. "I know how good he is and how much honor and pride he gets from serving the village and royal family…"
"But what matters most to him, what should matter most, is you," Meiling said.
"It's a nice thought," Tian said, almost defeatedly. "Really I just want him to be safe and happy."
"Sure, but you matter too. And if you miss him and want him home, tell him that. I'm sure he'll understand how much your time together means to you." Meiling cleaned off the bundles of cabbage one at a time, tossing them in another bamboo basket lined with a white cloth. Tian carried the eggs one basket at a time into her home as they conversed.
"I know," Tian said. "He already said that he would step down as captain within the year. I know how much it hurts him to do so, but I can't help but be a little excited to have him back."
"You should be," Meiling said. "Don't feel bad. He's your father. He should be by your side."
"True," Tian said. "He's not the young captain he used to be either. I just don't want a serious injury to be how he comes home, you know?"
"Not more than you, I'm sure," Meiling said. She gazed out beyond the fence lining the garden to see all the other villagers out and about, working their farms and setting up elaborate decorations. Meiling smiled and went back to her duties. "Just glad I can help."
"You really are," Tian sighed. "I haven't even gotten around to setting up for the festival tonight." Tian carried out of her home a handful of paper lanterns that she began setting up atop stakes down by the edge of the fence. "I have no idea how I'm going to finish everything in time."
"That's what I'm here for," said Meiling.
"You're already doing so much with providing entertainment for the thing tonight," Tian replied. "Seems almost selfish to ask for more."
"Then don't ask," said Meiling. "You're not asking. I'm here and willing to help out any way I can." Tian managed a relieved sigh.
"I really appreciate it, Meiling. You do so much. I can't thank you enough."
"Don't worry about it," Meiling said, still rinsing off cabbages. "That's what I'm here for."
"You sure you're okay to do the… thing tonight?" Tian asked. "It's going to be a lot of people, you know." Meiling chuckled.
"Of course," Meiling said. "That's also what I'm here for."
"But you think you can handle it?"
"You've seen what I can handle, Ti," Meiling said. "I'm sure it won't be too much worse than what your father puts me through."
"Than what you volunteer for," Tian corrected her. "He just does his job." Meiling laughed.
"Sure, sure," she said. Meiling stood up to stretch her back. She gazed out across the village, watching the glow of the sun bloom out from behind neighboring woods. The wind blew her cherrywood hair out of her face. Tian glanced over to her. She caught Meiling with an idle smile and made one herself.
"Where's Lee this morning?" Tian asked. Meiling looked back. "It's rare to see you without her tagging along."
"Had some matters to attend to," Meiling said. "That's all she said. I didn't pry, not my business." Meiling lips were still curled. Her stare was distant, her eyes glimmering in the rising sun.
"You two have become close, huh?" Tian asked. "More than I've seen you get close with anyone." Meiling chuckled. She ran her fingers through her hair.
"Jealous?" Meiling said through a joking chuckle. Tian’s expression remained firm.
"I'm serious," she said. Tian stopped with her work and leaned in to address Meiling directly. "You feel for her, don't you?" Meiling’s face grew long with thought. She sat back down next to the stream, letting the water brush past her fingertips.
"I don't know," Meiling said. "She's… special… I've never felt this way about anyone…"
"Did something happen?" Tian asked. Meiling blinked and paused, thinking about the night before. Her face became flushed. The memories made her heart race. It all slowly came back into her forethought. The sensations. The words. The embrace of an affection she had never felt before. It played over in her mind like a dream she would never forget.
"Last night, we…" Meiling started. She chuckled and rubbed the back of her neck. "Umm…"
"'You' what?" Tian asked. Meiling looked back with a cheeky grin. Tian shot her one back. "Wait, you… and her?"
"Yeah," Meiling said.
"Mei!" Tian said with a soft chuckle. "That's wonderful. Good for you two. How was it?"
"Amazing," Meiling said. "I've never experienced anything like it. You remember what I tell you when you ask why I like being tickled so much? Why I keep getting in trouble and subjecting myself to that? It's… like that… only a hundred times- a thousand times better. She was… so… beautiful. She's sweet and loving…" Meiling looked down, the elation on her face melting away.
"Do you love her?" Tian asked. Meiling paused. Her eyes were vacant with thought as she stared down at the water rushing past her fingers.
"Doesn't matter," Meiling said.
"What do you mean?" Tian asked, tilting her head. "That's, like, the only thing that matters."
"It doesn't matter, Ti," Meiling repeated. "She's a traveler. She's not meant to stay in one place for too long. Eventually, she's going to…" Meiling paused and swallowed. She sniffled a little, averting her face from Tian’s view.
"Mei?" Tian asked. Meiling wiped the back of her hand across her cheek.
"Been trying not to think about it,'' Meiling said. "It's just not for me, you know? The Xian thief…"
"Have you talked to her about this?" Tian asked. "Have you told her how you feel?" Meiling sniffled again and nodded.
"It came up," Meiling said. "Last night. She said that she didn't want to leave. I told her she could stay with me for as long as she wants."
"Then, there you go," Tian said, raising into a more optimistic tone.
"It's not that simple," said Meiling. The work that toiled from her hands had become vacant and unfocused until she eventually stopped. "It's wrong of me to assume that she'd give up her whole life for me. It's selfish to even ask her to stay. Even if she wants to, I have to be okay with the eventuality that she'll be gone." Tian paused and sighed. She drank in every word slowly.
"If she didn't have to leave," said Tian, "would you want her to stay with you? Like, forever?" Meiling looked down.
"It doesn't matter."
"Mei."
"It's no use just picturing what it is that I can't have," Meiling snapped back. She stood and turned toward Tian.
"Mei, that's not true."
"What do you want from me?" Meiling said, her face long with a distantly familiar hurt. "To say that I'd want her to stay with me? To say that I can't stop thinking about her? To say that I love her and would want to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her?"
"Would you?" Tian asked softly. "Do you want all of that?" Meiling’s gut sank, punched by the question. The pressure behind her eyes began to surface. Her breath became trapped in her throat. She looked down, hands balling into fists.
"It… doesn't matter," Meiling said, trembling in place. Tian rose. She brushed herself off and walked up to Meiling, taking her hands. Meiling’s teeth bit down hard behind closed lips.
"Meiling," Tian said. "Do you love her?" A gust of wind blew several leaves and fallen petals past them both. Meiling’s hands unclenched, her palms resting within Tian’s embrace.
"I… I think I do," Meiling said. Her voice shivered a little, her expression locked in a stoney, distant pain.
"Then you need to tell her that," Tian said.
"Ti…"
"I mean it," Tian said. "You owe it to yourself to be honest. Maybe that's what will get her to stay."
"By guilting her?"
"By making her see what kind of life you both can have together. Mei, I've seen the way she looks at you. She loves you too, I know it. You just have to be open and honest with her." Tian stepped back as Meiling brought one hand up to wipe her face again. She breathed deeply, her eyes downcast toward the garden soil.
"I almost did last night," Meiling said. "It was a momentary impulse, I guess, and I stopped myself before it could come out."
"Why?"
"Because," Meiling started before a long pause, "what if her life isn't here? What if I can't give her what she needs? What if I'm not good enough to stick around for? Again." Meiling’s voice trailed off. Cutting pain resonated through it. Tian paused and sighed. Meiling’s words hung in the air until she finally turned around. "Just… forget it. Nothing changes. I'm still…"
"I had a feeling that's what this was about," Tian said. "But your brother… that was different."
"If by some miracle she were to love me-"
"Stop it."
"Then it would be different," Meiling’s words pushed through. "And if she doesn't, it'll just be more of the same." She turned away from the sun spearing her eyes. "You're sweet for trying to help, Ti, but you know I'm right." Meiling went back to the basket of cabbages, washing them off in the stream, the trickling of the water dulling the lingering silence. Tian stood and watched. She approached Meiling and knelt down to her level.
"What was it you said to me not that long ago?" Tian asked. "That you matter too. If you love her and want her to stay, to tell her that. That she'll understand how much your time together means to you." Meiling managed a chuckle and wiped her eyes.
"That's…"
"No different," interrupted Tian. She smiled and placed a hand on Meiling’s firm, muscular arm. "It's not. And you're right, I should speak my mind. And I can. And so can you." Tian leaned in to hold Meiling in a tight, longing hug. Meiling's shoulders lowered. She sighed and smiled back, holding her friend in return.
"Thank you," Meiling said. She relinquished her demeanor and sank into the defeat of Tian’s efforts to encourage her. Tian held Meiling for a while before pulling back.
"You're more than worth it, Mei," Tian said. Meiling wiped her eyes again, but above a thoughtful smile. Tian looked back toward the village beyond her garden fence. More villagers began to emerge to start their day preparing for the festival that evening. Tian sighed and wiped her head. "So maybe we both have work to do. In more ways than one." Tian stood. Meiling looked up to her, a smile beaming down at her that rescued her from the ditch of her own gnawing mind.
"Right," said Meiling. Tian took her by the hand and helped her to stand.
"I got this here, if you could get started on the festival preparations."
"Sure thing," Meiling said. "What can I do?" Tian looked around for a bit before she smirked.
"Well, I'd say go ahead and make sure the stocks are nice and comfortable," she said. "You'll be in them for a while tonight and I may not be so nice about it."
