Illusiveone
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40 : Redoing my Life, Meet the Dunphy’s
🕑 Added 2024-02-24 08:43:20 +0000 UTCI stood in front of the mirror in my room, adjusting my shirt and trying to smooth out any wrinkles. The reflection staring back at me showed a very different man from last year. I was taller, which I had somewhat expected since I had gone through this before. This time around, with all the money I had, I looked way better than I did originally.
Haley and I had begun dating two months ago, and so far, things were going great. Today, she invited me to her house.
I have been under a lot of stress lately, as the Blair Witch Project was to be released in three weeks. The movie was supposed to be released three months ago but kept getting delayed.
But finally, it was ready, and it looked better than the original one. The marketing was difficult but worked as intended, as we were able to get people talking about the movie. Ever since the movie was announced, it looked like there was a lot of interest in it.
But that didn’t matter today, as I was just going to spend a stress-free day with my girlfriend.
'Whose parents you will be meeting,' a thought passed through my mind.
Oh, right. I was going to her house. Wait, wasn't this the first episode of the show? Damn, it is the first episode of the show. Okay, relax. Nothing crazy is going to happen. I am just going there to meet Haley’s family and maybe watch a movie with her.
Yeah, that’s it. Nothing to worry about.
I grabbed the keys to my car from the dresser and went downstairs.
“Danny, where are you going?” Mom inquired.
“I told you I was going to Haley's house today,” I replied.
There was a brief pause as Mom's expression turned more serious. "Haley," she echoed, her voice laced with disapproval, clearly not thrilled about me dating.
"I still don't understand what you see in that girl," she questioned.
I chose to remain quiet, aware that Mom's mood swings had become more frequent lately. The reason? Well, she was five months pregnant, and it seemed like the smallest things could upset her these days.
"Don't worry, I'll be back soon. I'll also pick up some chocolate ice cream since we're almost out," I offered, hoping to lighten the mood.
"No, get strawberry," she countered. "But you hate strawberries."
"Just get it," she retorted sharply.
I realized I needed to leave, and quickly.
"I'll see you later, bye," I said, making a swift exit from the house.
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[General POV]
“Buddy, why do you keep getting stuck like this?” Phil asked Luke as he tried to pry his head from the narrow gaps of the banister.
"I thought I could get out this time," Luke replied.
“I’m just gonna say it: he needs to be checked by a specialist," said Alex as she made her way down the stairs.
With a final tug, Phil managed to free Luke. “There. Be free, Excalibur," he quipped.
“Oh, I am having a friend over today,” Haley said, making her way to the stairs.
“Who?” inquired Claire.
"Uh, you don’t know him," Haley replied.
“Him? Him?” Claire questioned further.
Luke couldn't resist the opportunity to tease his sister. “Oooh, a boy. You’re gonna kiss-"
He couldn't complete the sentence as he was cut off by an indignant Haley. "Shut up!"
They continued to hurl insults at each other as Luke began making kissing faces.
"Luke, Alex, why don’t you take it outside, okay?" suggested Claire, trying to restore order.
Her suggestion was met with a puzzled look from Alex.
"And do what?" she asked.
"Fight in the sun; it’ll be a nice change,” Phil said, trying to make a joke.
Claire's attention then returned to Haley, pressing for details about the mysterious visitor. "Haley. Who’s the boy?"
"His name is Daniel. You know, I might as well just tell him not to come because you guys are just going to embarrass me," Haley answered, walking back upstairs to try to end the conversation.
Claire, softening, attempted to reassure her daughter. "Sweetie, hang on a second. You’re fifteen, and it’s the first time you’ve had a boy over. I mean, I’m bound to be a little surprised, but… I won't embarrass you."
"I better go charge the camcorder," said Phil, to which Haley groaned in embarrassment and ran back to her room.
"I’m kidding! Come on, who’re you talking to?" Phil quickly added.
“Oww,” they both heard Alex cry out.
"Mom! Dad!" she called out, the urgency in her tone drawing immediate attention.
"What happened?" Claire asked, putting the hamper down and walking over to Alex, who was holding the side of her right arm.
"Luke just shot me!" she exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at her younger brother.
"I didn’t mean to!" Luke protested.
"Are you okay?" Claire asked Alex.
"No, the little bitch shot me!" Alex retorted. Her choice of words prompted a burst of laughter from Phil.
"Language!" Claire admonished, her eyes narrowing at Alex, then darting to Phil, silently chiding him for his inappropriate reaction.
"They’re only plastic BBs. It was an accident," Luke said, trying to downplay the incident.
"What did I tell you would happen if you got him a gun? Deal with this," she directed at Phil.
"Buddy, uncool," Phil said, gently reprimanding his son.
"…That’s it? That—no, no, no, no, no. The agreement was that if he shoots someone, you shoot him," she reminded Phil.
"We were serious about that?" Phil asked, a little taken aback.
"Yes," Claire affirmed.
"I’m so sorry!" Luke began sobbing.
"Liar," said Claire, calling out Luke’s insincerity, and his crying ceased abruptly.
"Well, go on," Claire motioned for Phil to punish Luke.
"Now, but he’s got a birthday party," Phil tried to reason.
"What’s more important here, Dad?" said Alex.
"You can shoot him afterward. He’ll be home at two," Claire countered.
"I can’t shoot him at two; I’m showing a house at two."
"What about three?" Alex suggested.
"No, he’s got a soccer game at three, and then oh, we’ve got to leave for that dinner thing at five," Claire mused out loud and then walked over to the calendar.
"Four fifteen. You could shoot him at four fifteen," she said, marking it on the calendar.
"Shoot Luke," she said as she marked it down.
"Sorry, buddy. It’s on the calendar," Phil said, patting Luke’s head.
"Oh, come on," Luke replied dismayed.
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I had always dreamed of owning a Boss 429 Mustang, ever since I saw it in the John Wick movie. Back then, it was just that, a dream. But now, I had the means to make that dream a reality. Purchasing and modifying it became one of my first indulgences after getting my driver's license.
The car itself was a thing of beauty, its deep glossy black finish seemed to swallow the light around it, giving it an almost ethereal presence on the road. The interior struck the perfect balance between vintage allure and modern convenience, making every drive an experience to remember.
Shifting gears, I appreciated the manual transmission's mechanical click, a reminder of the car's raw, unfiltered connection to the road. Driving stick was still a skill I was mastering, but each trip was a learning curve I enjoyed.
Soon, I arrived at Haley's house, the Mustang purring softly as I parked it on the street. I walked to the front door and rang the doorbell.
I could hear Haley’s voice through the door. It opened, and I saw her mom, with Haley standing right behind her.
“Hi, you must be Daniel,” she said, extending her hand.
"Hi, yes, I'm Daniel. It's nice to meet you Mrs Dunphy" I said with a smile, taking her hand.
Haley stepped around her mom, greeted me, and took my hand, leading me inside.
“Hey, come on, let’s go,” she said as she led me upstairs, but we were stopped by her mom.
“Hey, hang on one second,” she said, grabbing my arm.
“So, Daniel, you are a junior in high school?” she questioned.
“Yeah, I am,” I replied.
“I feel like I've seen you before,” she said, looking at me.
“Yeah, I think we have met before,” I said, confirming her suspicion.
“We have? Where?” she asked. Even Haley looked surprised; I hadn’t told her about meeting her mom, sister, and brother all those years ago.
“You were at my book signing about five years ago with your daughter and son,” I answered.
“Wait, book signing? Wait, are you the same Daniel who wrote…?” she asked, her eyes widening.
“Yes, I am the same,” I confirmed.
“Oh, wow,” she exclaimed.
“Daniel, what a surprise,” Phil said, entering the room.
“Oh hey, Phil. Sorry, I mean Mr. Dunphy,” I said, quickly correcting myself.
“I can’t believe you're Daniel, who is Haley’s friend,” Phil said, walking over to me.
“And please, call me Phil,” he added. But Claire gave him a smack on his shoulder.
“Or you could call me Mr. Dunphy,” he quickly said.
“How do you know Daniel, Phil?” Claire asked.
“I sold him the house, the big one near your father, remember, like two years ago?” he answered.
“Oh, so you live near...”
“Jay and Gloria, yes,” I answered before she could complete. I could see Haley getting impatient.
Then I heard a small scream from the hallway; we all looked to see Alex standing there with her wide eyes staring at me.
“Hi, you must be Haley’s sister, Alex,” I said, trying to introduce myself.
She quickly ran back into the other room without saying a word.
“Was it something I said?” I asked, looking around.
“Okay, let's go,” Haley said, dragging me upstairs.
As Haley closed the door behind us, she turned and gave me a quick kiss on the lips.
“So, what do you want to do?” I asked, looking around her room.
“I thought we could watch a movie,” she suggested.
“Yeah, that sounds great,” I said, smiling. “What do you feel like watching?”
Haley pondered for a moment, biting her lip in thought. “Let’s look for something together,” she said as she took her laptop and laid on her bed. I joined her as we looked for a movie to watch.
“So, have you heard from your uncles?” I asked, remembering my mom telling me that Cam and Mitchell were adopting a baby.
“What about it? I know we are going to dinner there today.”
“Oh, so you don’t know. Well, I suppose you will find out tonight,” I replied.
“What?” she asked playfully.
“I don’t want to ruin the surprise.”
As the movie started, Haley leaned against me, her head resting on my shoulder. After a while, I noticed someone at the door.
“Hey,”
“What is it?” Haley asked.
“I think there’s someone at the door.”
Haley got up with a sigh and walked over to the door, opening it to reveal Alex standing there.
"Alex, what do you want?" Haley asked.
"I just came to pick up my calculus book," Alex replied, her face turning red by the second.
"Well, hurry up then," Haley said, stepping aside but watching Alex closely.
Alex came in and found her book. Our eyes met again, and I tried to introduce myself again.
“Hey, Alex, how's it going?"
"Um, fine," she mumbled before darting out of the room, not giving me a chance to say anything more.
Damn that was awkward.
“Got your book, now get out,” Haley said.
“I was just getting my book,” Alex retorted.
“Mom…” Haley called out.
I could hear Claire say something from downstairs.
“How rude,” Haley said and closed the door with a frustrated huff, then turned back to me, her expression softening.
“Sorry about that,” she apologized.
“You know, your sister’s not like what you described her to me.”
“I told you she’s a huge fan of yours.”
“Ahh, that’s it then,” I realized.
Haley joined me back on the bed. We resumed watching the movie, finding our comfortable spot again with her leaning against me.
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"Alex, leave your sister alone," Claire said.
"I was just getting a book," Alex said as she entered the kitchen.
"I know, sweetie, but you need to respect their privacy," Claire said.
"What are they doing up there?" she added.
"Nothing. Lying on the bed watching a movie," Alex said in a dejected tone.
"So, how is Daniel? I know you're a huge fan of his book," Claire asked, wanting to know more about her daughter's new boyfriend.
"He’s a great author, but I don’t get it," Alex said.
"Get what?" Claire inquired, moving closer.
"What does a person like Daniel Adler see in Haley? I thought he was more... I don't know, intellectual. I mean, Haley and him are like from different worlds," Alex said.
"Well, maybe they share some same interests," Claire suggested.
"No, absolutely not. I refuse to believe it," Alex said.
"You know what? I’m going to check on them," Claire said, walking off.
Claire climbed up the stairs with a handful of laundry and stood in front of Haley's room. After a while, she opened it to the surprise of both Daniel and Haley, who quickly sat up straight, adjusting themselves.
"Mom, what are you doing here?" Haley asked, surprised.
"Hello again, Mrs. Dunphy," Daniel greeted politely.
Claire surveyed the room, her eyes darting between Haley and Daniel, then to the laptop open in front of them. "I was just, um, dropping off some laundry. Is this a bad time?"
"Yeah," Haley replied.
"Oh, okay," Claire said as she retreated.
"Can you shut the door, please?" Haley asked.
"Actually, we’re just gonna go ahead and leave that open," she decided, motioning to the door she had partially closed behind her.
"Why?" Haley asked, her frustration growing.
Claire, walking in again.
"Because I have, uh, seen this little show before. Lying on the bed with a tall senior. One moment you’re just friends watching Falcon Crest, and the next you’re lying under the air hockey table with your bra in your pocket."
"Mom!" Haley exclaimed.
All Daniel could muster was a shocked face.
Claire left the room.
"I can’t believe this," Haley said.
"It's alright," Daniel said, trying to calm her.
"No, it’s not," Haley said, walking out of the room with Daniel following right behind her.
Haley walked to the backyard where Phil was standing with Luke; he had a BB gun in his hands.
"Dad! Dad! Dad, you have got to talk to Mom. She’s, like, completely freaking out and embarrassing me!" Haley complained.
Daniel was right behind her.
"Well, honey, your mom isn’t always as cool about things as I—" before he could finish, the BB gun in his hands went off, hitting Daniel in the neck causing him to fall backward.
"Oww, my head. Why is it always my head?" Daniel said, lying on the floor.
"Oh my god, Daniel, are you alright?" Haley asked, rushing to his side.
"What is with this thing?!" Phil exclaimed, dropping the BB gun.
Alex, hearing the commotion, walked outside.
"What happened?"
"Dad shot Daniel," Haley said.
"Dad, you shot Daniel Adler?" she exclaimed.
"It was an accident," Phil said, rushing to Daniel’s side.
Daniel, still reeling from the shock and pain, managed to sit up, rubbing the spot where his head hit.
"I’m okay," he said.
Haley hovered over him. "Come on, I’ll get you some ice."
"Yeah, do that," Phil said, helping Daniel up onto the couch in the other room.
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Daniel went home after a while, and the Dunphy's went to Mitchell and Cam's, where they had been invited for dinner.
They arrived and were welcomed inside by Mitchell.
"Oh, Dad is coming right behind us," Claire informed.
Suddenly, the doorbell kept ringing, and Jay put his head through the door, announcing, "Hey, knock knock, we're here; we're coming in."
"Come in, Dad, there's nothing gay going on here."
Soon, they were all settled in the living room, and Mitchell stood up and addressed everyone.
"I… I have something that I need to tell you guys. Um… uh, we didn't just go to Vietnam for pleasure. We, uh… kinda have some big news," Mitchell began nervously.
"Oh God, if Cam comes out here with boobs, I'm leaving," Jay said, looking at Mitchell.
"Dad..." Claire begins to say.
"I hope he didn’t embarrass you, Mom," Haley said, taking the opportunity to let out her frustrations.
"Oh, don’t mind her. Haley had her first boy over today, and… Phil shot him," Claire said.
"Oh, you met Daniel?" Mitchell asked.
"Wait, you know him?"
"Ah, so you finally decided to tell your parents," Gloria added.
"Wait, you knew about it too? Are we the last ones to know our daughter was dating?" Claire asked, shocked.
"Look, we can talk about that later. So, about a year ago, Cam and I started feeling this longing, you know, for something more, like, uh… maybe a baby?" Mitchell said, changing the subject.
"Ooh, that’s a bad idea," Jay said, interrupting Mitchell.
"What’s that supposed to mean?" Mitchell asked, offended.
Soon there was an argument between the family about the situation.
"Well, kids need a mother. I mean, if you two guys are bored, get a dog," Jay argued.
"We're not bored, Dad."
"I support you, Mitchell, even though you're not my son," Gloria said, supporting Mitchell.
After a while, the argument was interrupted by Alex.
"Wait, where is Uncle Cam?" she asked.
"Finally, thank you. Thank you. Someone who’s not insulting me notices he's not here," Mitchell said, sending a look of gratitude towards Alex.
Suddenly, the lights dimmed, and a spotlight appeared. Cam entered the room with a baby, with "The Circle of Life" playing in the background.
"We adopted a baby."
"Isn’t this exciting?" Cam said.
"Turn it off," Mitchell said to Cam, as the music was too loud.
"I can't turn it off; it's who I am," Cam replied.
"The music," Mitchell clarified.
Cam turns off the music.
"Say hi to Lily," he said, introducing their new daughter to the family.
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I decided to not change much from the pilot
And I will be writing a bonus chapter with Haley and Daniel's first Date soon.
