Illusiveone
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186: Redoing my Life, Graham Norton Show
🕑 Added 2025-03-27 20:50:10 +0000 UTC“You look great,” the stylist said as she stepped away, giving a satisfied nod as she brushed her hands together.
I looked in the mirror, adjusting my collar, and admired her work. She really had done a great job—neat, sharp, nothing overdone, just the right amount of polish.
“You ever think about changing jobs?” I asked her, half-joking. “You’re really good.”
She let out a quick laugh, already collecting her brushes. “Sorry, luv, I like it here. Free gossip, steady work….”
With a wink, she disappeared through the dressing room door, gently pulling it shut behind her with a click.
I was here on The Graham Norton Show to promote my book, The Others. The other guests were Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt, who were here for their movie coming out next month, Edge of Tomorrow. I had always wanted to be on The Graham Norton Show; it just looked like so much fun.
There was one more guest today , which made the show even more exciting…
I heard voices outside the door, breaking me out of my thoughts. Then it swung open again.
“There you are,” came a familiar voice, confident and bright.
Joanna.
She stepped in, wearing a simple dress flowing just above the knees in a soft, light pink that complemented her skin tone. The neckline was modest but flattering, and she wore white ankle boots that added just enough edge to the look.
“You take more time than me in the makeup chair,” she teased, plopping down on the couch across from me.
She folded her arms. “And…Where’s my Christmas present?”
I laughed. “Good to see you too, Jo. Sorry about the present—some lets say… complications came up. I’ll make it up to you.”
“You better,” she said, narrowing her eyes playfully.
“How’s the UK treating you?”I asked.
Joanna was here on tour. She was unexpectedly more popular across the pond than she was at home, so it was a no-brainer for her to go on a short tour here.
She smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s been amazing. Got France next, then Germany… it’s all going fast.”
I nodded, impressed. “Look at us. Four years ago, we were just high schoolers.”
She rolled her eyes. “I was a high schooler. You were already the boy wonder, the big celebrity.”
We caught up for a bit, swapping stories, and soon the conversation shifted to personal matters.
“How’s… the Margot situation?” she asked softly.
I exhaled. “Handled. Or… being handled. I’m sorry you got caught up in that, too.”
“Yeah, weird, right?” Joanna said, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she leaned back against the couch.
“Weird? Why is it weird, Jo? Come on—you know why it happened.”
Joanna blinked innocently. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I scoffed. “Oh, you don’t, huh? Let’s see… your core fanbase has been ‘shipping’ us since your YouTube days. Remember that fanfiction I caught you reading once?”
Joanna groaned and buried her face in her hands, her cheeks going bright red. “Why did you have to bring that up?!”
“That was, like, forever ago,” she mumbled, trying to hide her embarrassment.
“Well, people haven’t let go of it. You know how it works, Jo. That’s why your fans and mine latched onto those fake news stories about Margot. They’ve had this fantasy version of us in their heads for years, and they’re looking for any excuse to hate her.”
She looked off to the side, biting her lower lip.
“And to add fuel to the fire,” I went on, “your most recent song—if I remember correctly, number one on the charts—was about heartbreak and unrequited love.”
Joanna shrugged. “Well… that part’s true.”
“That’s why you got dragged into this whole thing, Jo.”
It was something I knew would still linger among some weirdo fans, and I hoped it would fade away as those teen fans grew up.
“You know, I am glad we cleared the air between us on that subject years ago. Imagine how awkward it would be if we hadn’t…”
She gave a small nod, her expression softening. But then she looked at me, head tilting slightly. “Did we ever really clear the air about all that?”
I blinked. “Yes. Yes, we did.”
She narrowed her eyes, the corners of her mouth twitching like she was fighting a smile. “Because if I remember right, you broke up with Haley and immediately started dating Margot. I mean, I was there, you know… you knew my feelings, and I remember you saying you had some for me as well…”
My mouth opened. “Jo, come on, don’t do this—”
There was a deep and uncomfortable silence between us, and I really wanted to walk out of the room.
Then she burst into laughter. Her whole face lit up. “Gotcha.”
“Oh, fuck you,” I said, relieved to be freed from the awkwardness.
“You looked like you were gonna pass out. Of course I’m over it. It was a high school crush, Danny. Relax.”
I groaned, sinking into the seat. “Jesus, Jo. You know I hate awkward conversations.”
“Exactly why I did it,” she said, grinning wider. “That’s payback for making me remember the fanfic thing.”
I shook my head, chuckling despite myself.
“So, you know who’s so jealous of Margot that they decided to go after her?” Joanna asked.
“I mean, I kinda know how she feels,” she said, “especially after the whole ‘Justin Bieber is cheating on Selena with me’ rumor just because we hung out once.”
Ha! That did happen last year. Thankfully, Joanna was able to weather that storm. I also got to meet Justin because of it—cool guy, but I could see he wasn’t thrilled with his fame.
I leaned against the counter, arms folded. “I don’t know… Raj is still—”
My phone buzzed sharply on the tabletop, cutting me off. I glanced down.
Raj. Speak of the devil.
I picked it up and tapped the speaker. “Raj. How’s it going?”
“Good—great, actually. We found them.”
I straightened up. “That’s great. Who is it?”
Before he could answer, Joanna leaned in toward the phone. “Yes, please tell us.”
Raj’s voice perked up. “Is that Joanna? Oh, right—you’re the musical guest.”
“Spill, Raj. Gossip Queen over here is practically salivating,” I teased.
Joanna gave me a mock glare.
Raj chuckled. “Alright, alright. So, after tracing some of the more aggressive pieces, we followed the breadcrumbs back to two freelance associates tied to Slate & Cole.”
My brow furrowed. “One out of New York?”
“That’s the one.”
Joanna tapped her fingers impatiently on the armrest. “Raj. Just say it. Who is it?”
“I’m getting there,” he said, dragging it out just to be annoying.
I could see Joanna’s foot start bouncing, her lips pressed into a thin line. I smirked.
Then Raj finally said it: “Johnny Depp.”
“What?” Joanna and I said in perfect unison.
Joanna sat up straighter. “You’re saying Johnny Depp went after Margot? Why?”
I stepped forward. “Raj, what the hell are you talking about?”
“Let me finish,” he said. “So—turns out another actress was originally in the running to play Bonnie in the Bonnie and Clyde remake. That actress is currently dating an A-lister.”
“I think you can guess from here.”
“Huh, who could that be?” I wondered, but Joanna realized before I did.
Joanna’s eyes went wide. “Wait… Johnny Depp is dating Amber Heard.” She gasped. “Oh my God. It’s her.”
That made sense.
I shook my head slowly, the pieces clicking into place. “Well, well, well. That bitch.” I paused, then sighed. “And I really liked Depp. Guess he’s on my shit list now.”
“I really don’t want him to be,” I added, half to myself.
Joanna leaned back, theorizing. “So Heard gets jealous and threatened because Margot got the role, and has her boyfriend’s PR team send a shitstorm of bad press her way.”
“Yup,” Raj confirmed.
“I’m glad that’s the only ‘shitting’ she decided to do,” I muttered, making Joanna look at me in confusion.
“Keep an eye on things, Raj,” I said into the phone.
“Always,” he replied. “Honestly, it looks like they’ve backed off. I don’t think we need to worry about Margot.”
Joanna tilted her head, unconvinced. “Yeah, for now. What happens when Amber loses another role to her?”
I nodded.
Amber’s career was done anyway—she definitely wasn’t getting the role of Mera in my DCU, that was for sure. I’d barely considered her before, but now she was on my blacklist.
Before I could reply, there was a knock at the door, followed by a new face poking in.
“Hey, we’re about to go live,” one of the production assistants said, her headset slightly askew. “Places in five.”
Joanna stood, smoothing her dress. “Well, I’m off to do some vocal exercises.” She gave me a teasing look. “I’ll be joining you halfway through. Try not to mess up before then.”
I smirked, grabbing my blazer from the chair.
With that, I followed the crew out of the dressing room and down the hall. Someone checked my already fitted mic pack, another gave me a water bottle I didn’t ask for, and a third walked beside me explaining the same sequence of cues I’d already gone over twice today.
“Everything will go just like we discussed,” the assistant reassured me, her clipboard tucked under one arm. “All the talking points are set. Graham will give you the cue and you do the rest.”
I gave her a quick nod. The audience noise was muffled where I stood. I adjusted my cuffs and glanced around.
That’s when I saw them.
Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt, walking together, chatting as they approached. Tom spotted me first, and his grin lit up instantly.
“There he is,” Tom said, walking up and grabbing my hand with a firm, enthusiastic shake. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
I shook back, smiling. “Big fan, Mr. Cruise.”
Emily offered a polite nod and a small smile. “Nice to meet you.”
“You too,” I said, matching her calm energy.
Tom was already bubbling with praise. “I saw Twelve Angry Men last year—damn. Can’t believe that came out of such a young mind. It was sharp, layered… and to think—” He paused for a half second, seeming to hesitate.
I wondered if he was about to say something about Scientology, but he recovered quickly.
“You’ve just got this… creative energy.”
“Thank you,” I said, nodding. “That really means a lot.”
“I’d love to work together sometime,” he added.
“It would be an honor,” I said. as long as you don’t try to make me join Scientology.
Tom clapped a hand on my shoulder. “We should do dinner. After the show.”
I was about to come up with a friendly excuse—something about a packed schedule—when the production team reappeared.
“Thirty seconds, everyone!”
The applause was already rumbling through the studio as the cameras rolled. Graham’s voice carried over the music:
“Please welcome—Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt!”
The audience roared as Tom and Emily walked onto the stage, waving and smiling. I watched on the monitor as they made their way to the famous oversized orange couch.
Then the music dropped again, just slightly, and Graham—standing at his monologue spot in front of the desk—turned toward the audience with that cheeky grin of his.
“And now, our next guest—he’s the young man who’s been shaking up Hollywood recently, the one and only… Daniel Adler!”
Another swell of applause. The production crew gave me the cue, and I walked up the short steps to the stage, into the warm, buzzing light of the studio.
The crowd was a blur of excited faces and clapping hands. Ahead of me, Tom and Emily stood, clapping along as I approached. Graham crossed from his spot and headed toward his chair with that quick, light-footed pace of his, motioning for us all to sit.
“Please, please—sit down! We haven’t got all night!” he quipped, settling into his seat and crossing one leg over the other.
We all sat. I took the seat on the right end.
“Well,” Graham said, hands folded as he looked between us, “first of all, welcome back, you two”—he gestured toward Tom and Emily—“and welcome for the first—and I hope not the last—time to Daniel Adler!”
More applause. I nodded to the audience and smiled. “Happy to be here,” I said, genuinely.
As I got comfortable, I noticed the short table in front of us, lined with wine glasses. I reached for mine and gave it a small swirl before raising it slightly.
“I’ll say—even though I’m not much of a drinker—we definitely don’t get this,” I said, pointing at the glass, “on the shows across the pond.”
That got a laugh.
Graham leaned in, delighted. “Oh, we do everything better over here. Wine, charm, talk shows. It’s all class here.”
I chuckled. “It does take the edge off.”
We settled in, and Graham steered the spotlight toward Tom and Emily first, asking about Edge of Tomorrow. Tom jumped right in, animated and confident, discussing the film’s premise. Emily chimed in here and there—dryly funny, sharp, clearly proud of the project.
Then Graham shifted slightly in his chair and turned to Tom with that glint in his eye.
“I did hear something, though,” he said, his voice playful. “Some people are saying your movie was supposed to come out later, but Mr. Adler over here had something to do with it coming out early.”
Tom laughed, giving me a quick look.
“Yeah,” he said, pointing at me, “I mean… kind of.”
I raised my hands, smiling. “I have no idea what he’s talking about.” I really didn't
Tom laughed again. “So we were choosing between two dates—late April or mid-March. Then someone from the studio comes to me and goes, ‘Hey… there’s this superhero movie coming out in early May—maybe we should go earlier.’”
He turned to Graham, still amused. “And that’s how I was, let’s say, reintroduced to Daniel. I’d already heard about him—he won an Oscar, and some mutual friends were raving about him. But that was the moment I thought, ‘Okay, I need to pay attention to this guy.’ You know, if the studio is saying, ‘We need to move our release because of him,’ he’s obviously big game.”
“Well, now I feel bad,” I said to audience laughter.
Graham leaned forward in his chair. “Maybe you two should make a movie together.”
Tom nodded immediately. “I just told him that backstage!”
I grinned, playing it cool. “Well, I do have an idea for a second Top Gun movie,” I said with a shrug, half-joking—though I did recall the sequel from another life.
Tom turned to me, suddenly serious. “You do?”
I hesitated.
“Then let’s do it,” he said, radiating that full Cruise intensity, like we were about to jump out of a plane tonight.
The audience whooped and clapped, loving the moment. Graham jumped in, hands in the air like a game show host announcing the jackpot.
“Well, there you have it, folks! Top Gun 2! Tom Cruise and Daniel Adler! You heard it here first—and you’ll know who to thank for making it happen.”
The cheers got louder. I laughed, holding up a hand.
“In all seriousness, I would love to,” I said, “but I kind of have a lot on my plate right now, you know?”
Graham tilted his head. “Yes, yes, lots of superhero stuff.” Then he turned suddenly to Emily. “Speaking of superheroes, Emily, I heard a little something… you were almost cast as Black Widow in the Marvel movies?”
“Oh yes, I was,” she said, sitting up a bit. “I auditioned and made it to the final three. But in the end, Scarlett Johansson got the part.”
Graham leaned in, fascinated. “Really!”
“She’s an amazing actress,” Emily said sincerely. “Honestly, I think she’s better for the part. She nailed it. I was disappointed at the time, of course, but I’m glad it went to her.”
“That,” I said, pointing at her, “is exactly how more people should be.” something for Raj to use
Then I added quickly, almost sheepishly, “Although, full disclosure… I might have been the reason you didn’t get it.”
Emily raised a brow. “Oh?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Scarlett’s a dear friend of mine.”
“More than a friend, I believe—her first big break was in your first movie, The Blair Witch…” Graham trailed off, looking to me for confirmation.
“The Blair Witch Project,” I corrected. “Yeah, it was.”
“And you were only, what, 15 or 16 when you wrote and produced it?” Graham added.
“Wow,” said Tom, impressed.
I shrugged, returning to the story. “So I basically bullied her into auditioning for Black Widow because I knew she’d be perfect for it. And I was proven right…”
Emily pointed at me, feigning outrage. “So because of you, I missed out on a billion-dollar franchise?”
The audience burst into laughter.
“I mean, when you put it like that…” I said, grinning.
More rounds of laughter followed.
The rest of the show went great. Graham moved effortlessly between Tom and Emily promoting Edge of Tomorrow and me talking about The Others, my new horror novel.
There were plenty of laughs—Tom joked about doing his own stunts again. I explained how visiting the UK for the first time inspired me to write a novel about a British World War II widow and her two children being haunted by ghosts.
As the show came to an end, it was time for Joanna.
“Now,” Graham said, turning to the camera with his signature grin, “please welcome our musical guest—Joanna!”
The crowd burst into applause as the music swelled.
Her performance was a hit, and the audience loved her.
When she finished, she stepped off the stage and walked over to us, hugging me first, then shaking hands with Graham, Emily, and Tom before slipping into the empty seat next to mine.
“Wow!” Graham said, clapping as the cheers died down. “What. A. Performance.”
Joanna gave a breathless smile. “Thank you.”
Graham asked some questions about Joanna’s tour and new album, and then the conversation shifted.
“Well,” Graham said, tilting his head playfully, “your song is number one right now—and there’s something very interesting I learned about it…”
I groaned softly, realizing what it was. I shot Graham a look. We’d talked about this before the show—he said he’d probably bring it up.
Graham leaned forward with a mischievous glint in his eye. “Now, the song—beautiful, powerful, emotional…clearly about heartbreak and love lost. But from what I hear…the man who caused all this pain is right here on this very couch.”
The audience gasped collectively.
“Ooooohhh!”
Tom raised both hands innocently. “Well, it’s not me!”
Everyone burst out laughing.
I covered my face with both hands, shaking my head.
Graham turned dramatically. “Who could it be?”
Joanna slid an arm around my shoulders and gave me a theatrical side-hug.
I peeked through my fingers. “We were in high school…”
“Boooo,” said Graham.
Joanna put on her best ‘scorned woman’ voice. “You know what really rubs salt in the wound? After he broke up with the girl he chose over me, he immediately started dating his current girlfriend—knowing full well that I still had feelings for him!”
Emily gasped, a hand flying to her chest.
The audience booed in mock outrage.
I couldn’t stop laughing, even as I slumped into the couch, face hidden.
Graham pointed at me like he was delivering the final verdict. “Boooo! That’s cold, Adler! Ice cold!”
Joanna leaned in again, still smiling. “But in all seriousness, it’s a joke—something we’ve laughed about for years. Danny and I are best friends, someone I owe a lot of my success to.”
I didn’t say anything—just sat there with a big smile on my face, also feeling a bit embarrassed.
Graham turned to the crowd. “Still an asshole, though.”
The audience exploded with laughter.
I raised my wine glass in surrender. “Fair.”
======
The cool night air hit us as Joanna and I stepped out of the studio.
As we walked toward the car, Joanna turned to me.
“Okay, explain again why I’m going to dinner with you and Tom Cruise?”
I smirked. “Because you’re going to make sure he doesn’t kidnap me and brainwash me into Scientology.”
She let out a sharp laugh, shaking her head.
“Also,” I added, rubbing the back of my neck, “I think I might’ve made the mistake of planting the idea for Top Gun 2 in his head.”
She gave me a sly look. “Then why don’t you slip away now and let Tom and me go to dinner alone?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Because I need to make sure you’re not kidnapped and brainwashed into Scientology.”
At that, Joanna burst out laughing, stumbling slightly in her heels as she leaned against my arm.
Comments
Kyle.S406
I was hoping you would bring Johnny Depp and Amber Heard into the story. Their divorce trial was great entertainment.
Joshua David
would be kind of cool if he did top gun maverick in the future
Illusiveone
She is from the very early chapters, his friend from high school who he helped become a pop star.
Surprise
i forgot who is she again?
