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Video: "People Are People Too"
🕑 Added 2021-05-20 12:00:05 +0000 UTCPatreon Exclusive. Joshua and Ryan discuss how we must learn to appropriately manage our relationships so they don’t control us, and they answer the following questions:
How do you appropriately manage relationships with others? (00:00)
Is wanting others to change toxic behavior? (08:03)
What friendships have you decluttered? (11:42)
How can no one make us miserable? (17:15)
What is the difference between standards and expectations? (20:34)
How can you declutter family relationships? (24:38)
How do you know when you are truly appreciated by your friends? (33:02)
Doesn’t—or shouldn’t—every relationship have an expiration date? (35:37)
How do you accept losing and moving on from a meaningful relationship? (43:49)
Why does society now promote canceling people; that is, why are we encouraged to get rid of friends instead of working through their challenges? (48:14)
If you already have friends outside of work, is there still value in finding and maintaining friendships with coworkers? (55:24)
How do I gracefully tell friends, “No, I can’t help you with that—I already have a full plate,” and how do I tactfully, but firmly, decline social invitations? (57:03)
How do I address anxiety regarding being “ghosted”? (59:14)
How can I get rid of a friend whom I cannot ignore? (1:02:04)
How do you make new friends in your 30’s and 40’s? (1:04:16)
How do we interact with toxic former friends we run into at social functions? (1:12:48)
How do you kindly encourage friends to take initiative in the communication? (1:14:43)
What do you do when you’ve become a “utility friend”; that is, a friend that is only contacted when friends need your help? (1:19:13)
What friendships did you let go of as you got closer to your partners? (1:24:18)
LINKS
Book: Fight Club
Book: Love People, Use Things
Book: Nonviolent Communication
Book: Some Thoughts About Relationships
Essay: How to Understand Your Values
Instagram: Jordan Moore
Instagram: Podcast Shawn
Instagram: Jess Williams
Meetup: Minimalist.org
Patreon: The Minimalists
Podcast: How to Love
Podcast: Obligations
Podcast: Think the Opposite
Resources: The Minimalists
Subscribe: The Minimalists
Text: 937-202-4654
Tour: The Minimalists
Watch: Less Is Now
MAXIMS
“When we’re attached to the way we want people to be, we always suffer.” —Joshua Fields Millburn
“Letting go isn’t something you do, it’s something you stop doing.” —Joshua Fields Millburn
“Expectations always upset our tranquility.” —Joshua Fields Millburn
“Just because you share DNA with someone doesn’t mean you have to share time with them.” —Joshua Fields Millburn
“A healthy relationship is one that enhances your life without trying to change the other person.” —Joshua Fields Millburn
“There are three main ingredients in a healthy relationship: love, respect, and understanding.” —Ryan Nicodemus
“Don’t outsource your contentment.” —Joshua Fields Millburn
“Toxic relationships are relationships that distance you from tranquility.” —Ryan Nicodemus
“In order to move on, we must let go.” —Joshua Fields Millburn
“Needing someone is not loving—it’s clinging.” —Joshua Fields Millburn
This Maximal episode corresponds with Minimal episode 288.
Comments
Cindy Muzzi
I’m walking through some difficult times with relationships. This episode really helped me to see problems with my own thinking in these relationships...my expectations. It brought me clarity and awareness, and all at a time when I was ready to look deeper into these relationships. You think you’re doing the best you can, questioning why things can be so painful. I really resonated when JFM talked about giving people the power to change your mood being on you. You’re right. The awareness is powerful. What are some things to do so you don’t give that power away? How do you let go of the expectations?
Matthew Hastings
I really appreciate the conversation regarding family.
