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"Kill Them with Love"
🕑 Added 2021-07-22 12:05:01 +0000 UTCJoshua and Ryan discuss the minimalism rules submitted by their patrons, and they answer the following questions:
What are the questions you ask yourself before buying anything? (00:00)
What is the newest nickname you’re considering for The Minimalists’ audience? (11:38)
I get rid of one thing, every day. If I get rid of five things today, great—but I still have to get rid of one thing tomorrow. (13:23)
How do we deal with people who don't get it and continue to ignore our pleas to stop giving us stuff? (15:31)
What mantra have you found particularly helpful in your life? (19:03)
How do I communicate positively that gifts are not necessary, even if that is someone else’s love language? (20:14)
We lived on a sailboat for years, so minimalistic habits were easy: Buy used whenever possible. Give one to two things away for each thing brought in. Organize a local gifting table. Avoid plastic whenever possible. Use libraries. Don’t give gifts that one can’t eat or drink, unless it is an activity. Break the gift-giving cycle as much as possible and simply give people your time and energy. (25:06)
Generally, I don’t buy things unless I let go of at least one thing. I also don’t buy things based on income, but rather a small percentage of net worth. And I don’t borrow money. (27:21)
I think about whether or not what I buy is going to be used or worn on a daily basis. I don’t own more than one of anything in my kitchen besides plates, cups, and silverware. Less stuff is less chaos in my life. (28:17)
If I’m struggling to decide whether to get rid of an item, if it costs less than $100 to replace, I donate. We keep $100 in savings specifically for replacing this kind of thing. So far we’ve used it once in 10 years of decluttering! And each item we have belongs in a container. If I want to purchase something new, it must fit in its designated “container” (a bookshelf is a great example of this!). So, for example, if I want to buy a new book, I have to make room on the shelf. (29:49)
Wouldn’t it be best to just consider how much energy anything might drain from your life in maintaining it before you bring it into your life? (32:13)
I have learned to tell myself that if I say “yes” to something, I am saying “no” to something else. That puts a lot of pressure on an item to be the “one”. (32:47)
Is it possible that human beings are actually born perfect? (33:18)
I don’t buy on impulse. I plan and consider alternatives, then go buy exactly what I need. I don’t buy an “it will do”. If I don’t find exactly what I need, I leave without it. (37:07)
I don't replace things that are in good working condition to get a new model. (39:55)
After putting anything in my “cart”, I wait an hour before checking out to decide if this is necessary for my life. (46:04)
I see a lot of talk about material items, but I try to apply this to my schedule as well. My anxiety goes through the roof if I over-schedule myself. I control it by taking a minimalist approach to my schedule by making sure I leave room to complete activities on the weekends to make my weeks easier. (47:26)
I always have a donation bag and I’m always putting things in there. When I have two full bags, I donate to someone. (48:58)
When I'm cleaning and come across something I completely forgot about, I throw it out. I don't even give myself a chance to think about it. If I forgot about it, I'm not going to miss it. (50:03)
Everything in my house goes through this thought process: if I died today, there would be someone that would have to deal with all my stuff, and I don’t want to put that burden on anyone. I lost my father in my 20’s, so I think that’s why my thought process goes that way. It’s an unfair burden to leave people all of your stuff after you’re gone. (52:11)
I always ask myself, “If I buy this, where will it live?” It has to have a place to live permanently. (54:44)
All things purchased must have a dual purpose of some kind. (56:42)
LINKS
Bonus: Love People, Use Things
Book: Love People, Use Things
Book: Minimalist Rulebook
Essay: Play the 30-Day Minimalism Game
Essay: Questions to Ask Before Purchasing
Essay: Scared to Death of Death
Instagram: Beaulah
Instagram: Joshua Fields Millburn
Instagram: Jordan Moore
Instagram: Podcast Shawn
Listen: “Good Life”
Podcast: Savage Lovecast
Resources: The Minimalists
Review: Love People, Use Things
Subscribe: The Minimalists
Text: 937-202-4654
Tour: The Minimalists
Watch: I Returned My Gucci Bag
Watch: Kill Them with Love
Watch: Minimalism
MAXIMS
“There are no shortcuts—only direct paths.” —Joshua Fields Millburn
“Dysfunction is rooted in excess.” —Joshua Fields Millburn
“No one has the power to hurt you unless you outsource that power to them.” —Joshua Fields Millburn
“Just because I’m offended doesn’t mean I’m right.” —Ryan Nicodemus
“Happiness is uncovered through subtraction.” —Joshua Fields Millburn
“Habit changes don’t work as well as lifestyle changes.” —Ryan Nicodemus
“Once you understand the ‘why,’ the ‘how’ takes care of itself.” —Joshua Fields Millburn
This Maximal episode corresponds with Minimal episode 297.
Comments
Deanna Freeth
Enjoyed this episode a lot! My best question for buying things is do I need this and the answer is usually no. (Unless replacing a consumable). I started that over 5 years ago now and it helped me a lot!
Kristin Leitch
I really appreciate the $100/On the Fence replacement "rule." Thumbs up, Elizabeth. Thank you!
