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Maximal Ep. 377 | Disrespectful Family
🕑 Added 2023-01-30 12:01:02 +0000 UTCThe Minimalists speak with therapist and author Lori Gottlieb about living with family members who don’t respect boundaries, processing grief, embarrassment about trauma, whether we should minimize hope, task avoidance, how to get out of your own way, and more!
Discussed in this episode:
How do we create a detente with loved ones who are completely intractable? (01:51)
How do we bring meaningful change to our relationships? (04:48)
What is “the parentified child”? (11:15)
What do you consider the ‘cost of admission’ for relationships? (14:08)
What are your views regarding nonnegotiables? (14:26)
Why is it so difficult for many to discover alternative solutions to problems in their lives? (15:18)
Why are boundaries rarely respected? (17:29)
How do we effectively manage the overwhelming feelings involved in the death of a loved one? (19:26)
What is “forced forgiveness”? (20:15)
What are your perspectives regarding grief? (20:39)
How do we eliminate generational trauma? (26:17)
How do I let go of the shame associated with my persistent anxiety? (28:28)
How do we consistently recognize and manage our feelings? (29:10)
Why do you consider hope pointless? (38:24)
How are desire and envy helpful? (40:44)
How can we use regret? (42:58)
How do I get out of my own way when pursuing my goals in life? (49:25)
What do you mean by “be who you are”? (51:32)
What is the value of resistance? (56:04)
Segment: Lightning Round (1:03:15)
How do I tactfully tell others to mind their own business when they intrude on my personal affairs? (1:03:49)
Segment: Right Here, Right Now (1:06:47)
How do I better manage my OCD so I can be more present as a parent? (1:07:33)
What is the difference between balance and contentment? (1:07:48)
Listener comments and minimalism tips. (1:10:45)
Segment: More About Less (1:13:46)
Segment: Talkaboutables (1:29:00)
What is “The Duplicates Rule”? (1:29:14)
Segment: Obsolete Objects (1:36:57)
Segment: Sucky Ads (1:41:12)
Segment: Photo Friday Home Tour (1:45:48)
How do I value apologies and forgiveness more appropriately? (1:48:30)
How do I comfortably meet new people as an introvert? (1:58:38)
Segment: Added Value (2:06:08)
LINKS
Article: “Clutter Is Good for You”
Book: Love People, Use Things
Book: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
Book: Minimalist Rulebook
Book: The Sedona Method
Event: Sunday Symposium
Health: 75 Hard Challenge
Hire: The Minimalists
Podcast: Cluttercore
Podcast: Dear Therapists Podcast
Podcast: Kapil Gupta
Podcast: Hoarders
Podcast: How to Love
Resources: The Minimalists
Subscribe: The Minimalists
Watch: Less Is Now
Watch: Minimalism
Website: Lori Gottlieb
MAXIMS
Every relationship has a cost of admission.
Grief is a byproduct of love.
Your feelings are not real: they are an internalized response to trauma, expectations, and beliefs that don’t serve you.
Hope is the measure of future regrets.
Once you understand the why, the how takes care of itself.
Resistance is a finger pointing toward meaningful experiences.
Fulfilling other people’s expectations is not fulfilling.
You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you.
Life has a 100% mortality rate. —Lori Gottlieb
FOLLOW OUR TEAM
Comments
Michael Wynkoop
Kapil gupta
TGBahr
Will do, thanks! Tryin my best 🙂
Mallory French
Thanks, T.G.! Feel free to send future suggestions over to Malabama at mallory@theminimalists.com. Joyous times!
TGBahr
Hi Josh, T.K. and Ryan, Haven’t listened to the program yet, but I have a guest suggestion on the topic of male psychology in a relationship. Greetings from Germany! https://linktr.ee/sarahdawnmoore
