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Maximal Ep. 431 | Minimizing Narcissism
🕑 Added 2024-02-19 12:01:01 +0000 UTCThe Minimalists speak with Dr. Ramani Durvasula about recognizing narcissists; whether the term “narcissist” is overused; the roles of self-righteousness, complaining, and comparison in narcissism; how to walk away; how to work with a narcissistic co-parent and narcissistic grandparents; when self-care becomes narcissistic; the narcissism of small differences; the Dark Triad; whether narcissists can change; letting go of emotions; and much more.
Discussed in this episode:
How do you know someone is a narcissist, and is the term overused? (01:50)
How can I tell a narcissist that they’re the problem? (21:33)
How can I accept that a narcissistic co-parent has turned my child against me? (35:11)
Do narcissistic parents become narcissistic grandparents? (46:28)
What is the narcissism of small differences? (01:02:52)
When does self-care become narcissistic? (01:22:34)
How can I stop a pattern of being attracted to narcissists? (01:35:55)
How do you let go of your feelings if your emotions are tied to your ego? (01:44:53)
How can you mentally let go of an item you’re keeping just for when? (01:49:42)
How has minimalism helped this Patron manage her bipolar disorder? (01:54:26)
LINKS
Book: 15 Ways to Write Better
Book: It's Not You
Course: How to Write Better
Subscribe: The Minimalists' Newsletter
Tour: The Everything Tour
Website: Dr. Ramani
MAXIMS
Walking away can be the greatest act of kindness.
Acceptance materializes as we let go of the need to control the uncontrollables.
While the past can be a mirror of the future, the past does not have to equal the future.
Self-care turns into self-harm when one is self-absorbed in self-pity and suffering.
Forced change trips over itself at the starting line.
If your feelings are tied to your ego, untie them.
Letting go starts where the clinging ends.
A clean slate is a terrible thing to clutter.
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Comments
Jennifer Wenning
The segments about the parents who are narcissists really resonated with me. My two siblings do not talk to my father anymore because of this. It was the most toxic divorce, but only from one side. My mom also competes with my brother’s son’s (her grandsons) parents and friends. She thinks everyone is out to get her and her crumbling relationships with nearly all of her family members is everyone else’s fault, not hers. Jeez. I am proud of myself for not submitting to how my mom talked about my father. I love him and I cannot be told otherwise. Now I know that my father must have experienced the death of the relationship with his two other children. I feel like I know how to approach my therapy sessions now. How do I deal with the guilt of wanting to have distance from my mom? She lives with my brother now and I want my brother and his son to live in a separate home. It is so bad for my brother and his son. So much for me to unpack.
Amber Bayer
Having learned what I did in the episode allows me to confidently say I left a narcissist. I was labeling him as the egg, but quickly realized he is the flour, sugar, salt, and oil. Thank you for the education and tips on navigating a coparenting relationship with said narcissist.
