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Maximal Ep. 385 | Monogamy and Nonmonogamy (Video)
🕑 Added 2023-03-27 11:00:04 +0000 UTCThe Minimalists speak with Aubrey Marcus about relationship structures, commitment, marriage, open relationships, “compersion,” communicating boundaries, relationship security, relationship hoarding, “limitless” love, and so much more!
Discussed in this episode:
How is nonmonogamy related to minimalism? (02:15)
What challenges have people experienced in nonmonogamous relationships? (12:31)
How do people thrive in nonmonogamous relationships? (16:21)
How do we create a healthy balance between giving and receiving love? (19:33)
What is “compersion”? (21:35)
What is “kitchen-table polyamory”? (22:58)
How is suffering contagious? (28:18)
What is “tantric technology”? (32:00)
How do I appropriately communicate with potential partners that I’m only interested in nonmonogamous relationships? (34:33)
What challenges would a nonmonogamous relationship present to other relationships in someone’s life? (38:49)
What are the nonmonogamous relationship types? (46:03)
What is “relationship anarchy”? (50:04)
Is it always necessary to compromise in relationships? (52:39)
How honest and transparent should we be in our dating profiles? (53:55)
How do we tactfully set relationship boundaries? (55:13)
What are the differences between generosity and martyrdom? (1:02:50)
How crucial is compatibility in relationships? (1:03:53)
What are the three stages of relationships? (1:05:45)
How can deprivation help us? (1:17:02)
Segment: Lightning Round (1:20:45)
How do we open ourselves up more for love? (1:21:12)
Do definitions obscure more than they clarify? (1:26:15)
Segment: Right Here, Right Now (1:29:48)
How do you broach the possibility of nonmonogamy with a long-term monogamous partner? (1:31:30)
Listener comments and minimalism tips. (1:37:49)
What is “monogamish”? (1:54:00)
Is monogamy a result of evolution or conditioning? (1:54:59)
How do we respectfully discuss difficult topics with our loved ones? (2:14:09)
What are your perspectives regarding “love languages”? (2:22:54)
Segment: T.K.’s Tweet of the Week (2:27:55)
How do I explain to a co-parent that nonmonogamy is nonnegotiable for me when they’re not interested? (2:40:47)
Segment: Minimalist Home Tour (2:46:18)
Segment: More About Less (2:50:54)
Segment: Added Value (2:57:56)
LINKS
Added Value: “Blood”
Book: Love People, Use Things
Book: Untrue
Podcast: Against Everyone with Conner Habib
Podcast: Aubrey Marcus Podcast
Podcast: How to Love
Podcast: Savage Lovecast
Resources: The Minimalists
Subscribe: The Minimalists
Twitter: Dr. Nicole LePera
Watch: Awake in the Darkness
Website: Aubrey Marcus
MAXIMS
Judgment is the fastest way to shut down a conversation.
Empathy is a bell curve with suffering on both ends.
Boundaries add clarity to our communications.
You needn’t desire the same things to be on the same page.
Hoarding is holding on to anything that gets in the way.
That which is natural is not always that which is best.
There is no measuring stick for love; to love someone is to see them, appreciate them, and accept them for who they are, warts and all.
Love does not create limits—it creates through the limits.
Clinging to love is like clinging to water: the harder you clinch, the faster it disappears.
FOLLOW OUR TEAM
Comments
TGBahr
Monogamy ain't for me, is all I can say. That does't mean I feel the need to scratch at every second tree. Just guessing of course, but I believe the reason for the lack of comments here, is that people's real sexual desires still make them feel insecure because of their own mind-prison and the judgement of others, as well as the reason that they can't communicate that openly here because they don't want their partner or someone they know to see what they really feel. What are we doing to ourselves?!
