L.E. Miranda
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SSR - Chapter 11: The Mire (3)
🕑 Added 2025-01-02 15:00:05 +0000 UTCRylan breathed deeply as he returned to his room from the soldiers’ morning training session. There would be another one in the afternoon, but it was still too early to push his body so far. He opened the door to his bedroom, looking at the food on the table. It was in accordance with his new diet. He smiled. Behind him, Sarah walked in as he sat down. He spoke.
“I’ll make sure they add enough food for you, too.”
Watching someone eat when one couldn’t do the same was painful. It was a memory from his past life.
“…I can’t eat with you, young master.”
“Of course you can. I’m telling you to do so. From today onwards, you can eat with me if you wish to. I’d understand if you don’t want to, though.”
He cut the meat and put it in his mouth. Sarah stood silently next to him. He didn’t turn his head to see her expression; he had no intention of pressuring her in any way. He was just trying to look out for her.
“…I’ll keep it in mind, my lord.”
He nodded. Neither of them said a word until he finished eating. Rylan looked at her as he stood up.
“Later today, I’ll go to Evenon, as I said before. Did you notify my father?”
She nodded with a conflicted expression. He let out a breath.
“Good.”
Taking off his shoes, he sat cross-legged on the bed and closed his eyes, turning his attention inwardly. He no longer paid any attention to Sarah’s gaze. He perceived his Mana Core immediately. His Circle revolved around it peacefully. He began to breathe in a rhythmic fashion as he focused on trying to gather the mana in the atmosphere into his Core. It was the standard method of increasing one’s mana capacity and eventually forming new Circles. He remembered how he had made his First Circle with his father’s assistance, but didn’t know if the process was the same for the other Circles. The information he’d read about in the library was lacking, while the knowledge he’d accumulated in the worthless past of his current life was negligible.
Rylan’s biggest priority was extending the duration of his mana empowerment and intensifying its effects. The closer he could get his Mana Core to simulate an Aura Heart, the better. It was the fastest path for him to regain his strength until he confirmed the existence of Aura. He threw away all useless thoughts. He could feel mana everywhere around him. It was wondrous, in its own way. He felt like the first time Roland had discovered Aura. He couldn’t help but smile.
The mana surrounding him was pulled in by his flow, joining the whirlpool. It was an enjoyable process by itself. He reveled in the feeling of growing stronger, one small step at a time. It seemed that Roland’s love for power had seeped into him. However, it was now tempered by his regrets; he needed this life to be different.
Time passed by quickly. Rylan’s concentration was disturbed by the sound of someone knocking on his door, heard by the sliver of awareness that paid attention to his surroundings in case of a sudden attack. He opened his eyes and looked at Sarah, who was also looking at him. After he nodded, she opened the door.
A man with a scarred face and a slimy smile entered the room and approached Rylan while bowing repeatedly. It was a face he recognized.
“Master Rylan, good morning! I’m sorry to bother you in such an unpleasant fashion, but-”
Rylan filtered out the useless words and flattery, focusing on wondering why Robert had been waiting for him. Robert was his younger brother’s personal attendant, which meant that it was likely something related to Aelfric. He already had an idea of what it could be but waited for Robert to be done. He registered the last few words.
“-And that’s why Master Aelfric would like to meet you.”
As expected.
It was likely that this would flow in the direction he expected. He spoke, trying his best to mimic his tone from before he remembered his past life.
“Where is he?”
He could feel Sarah’s gaze but remained steadfast. Robert’s smile got wider.
“Master Aelfric said he would meet you here, in this room, as always.”
Rylan waved his hand dismissively and put on an impatient expression. He made sure to show Robert his shaking hands.
“No need. I’ll go to him right now.”
Robert bowed.
“In that case, Master Aelfric is currently in his room, awaiting your decision.”
Rylan nodded, threw Robert a frown for good measure, and started walking in the direction of Aelfric’s room. Sarah still followed him closely; she said nothing. Rylan’s eyes grew colder with every step that he took.
Robert must be dealt with.
He had the insight and experience of an entire past life as someone who had been both envied and admired. He could tell what kind of person Robert was at a glance: a parasite who thrived on his Master’s misfortune to secure a stable position for himself, not caring about the consequences or ramifications. It was one of the most insidious types of scum. His first instinct was to cut off the man’s head and be done with it, but he couldn’t kill the personal attendant of one of the family’s members so easily.
Rylan blinked, surprised by his own thoughts. Due to Roland’s memories, he had naturally thought of killing someone as a natural resolution to the problems they caused. He felt no aversion to the idea of killing, even though he had never done anything similar as Rylan. It was a change that he welcomed. In both worlds, hesitation meant weakness. He needed to be decisive, even if it came to ending another’s life. As Roland, his sword had reaped the lives of many. He had grown used to it. His mind clad itself in steeled conviction as his thoughts reached this point. He would do what was necessary.
Rylan and Sarah walked to one of the estate’s wings, passing by several groups of guards. They were different from the guards near Rylan’s room; the squads were composed entirely of Mages, who bowed slightly as Rylan went past them. Looks of carefully-hidden scorn were thrown at him, but he paid them no heed. His actions would convince them over time. Soon, they arrived in front of a large red door. He turned to Sarah.
“Wait here.”
She nodded without protest. Rylan opened the door and walked in.
The first thing he saw was the figure running towards him. Aelfric jumped into his arms, causing Rylan to reflexively embrace him. The boy’s arms wrapped themselves around Rylan’s torso, hugging him tightly. Rylan blinked and closed the door behind him. Aelfric spoke.
“I was so worried! I heard you got caught again, but that this time Father wouldn’t give you any more chances!”
As Aelfric spoke, Rylan evaluated his surroundings. The room was dark and messy; the bed’s covers were strewn about, and the subtle smell of a drug he recognized drifted in the air. He let out a sigh, gently separating from Aelfric. The boy’s blue eyes stared into his own, filled with uncertainty and anxiety. Rylan smiled.
“I’m fine.”
His words were spoken with tenderness, but inwardly, he was deeply concerned. He remembered well what he and Aelfric got up to until recently. His brother had followed his lead through every type of unsavory act and situation.
It meant that he had pulled his younger brother into the mire alongside him.
He looked at the room’s only table. Traces of a discreet powder still remained on its surface. He looked at his brother, tapped him on the shoulder, and spoke slowly.
“Aelfric, how much Dust do you still have?”
Aelfric blinked before smiling. It was filled with relief.
“120 grams. Do you want to split it? We can-”
The boy stopped speaking after Rylan lifted his hand, palm facing forward. Rylan tried to be as clear as possible.
“It’s about time we stopped.”
Aelfric reacted as if he’d just been slapped. He blinked several times in a row as an expression of confusion and disbelief made its way into his face. Then, it was as if realization had dawned on him. His expression broke into a smile.
“Oh, is that what we’re doing now? Alright, we can stop for some time. When are you planning to get back to it?”
At that moment, Rylan realized the severity of the situation. His assessment that he had pulled his brother into the mire was correct, but did not reflect the full reality of the situation. Aelfric, too, kept both of them there. It was a cycle that would have remained unbroken if Rylan hadn’t remembered his past life. He held his brother’s face in his hands.
“Aelfric.”
The boy stared at him with a shaking gaze.
“We need to stop.”
Gradually, Aelfric’s brow furrowed but Rylan continued to speak before the boy could open his mouth.
“Decrease your usage of Dust slowly to manage the withdrawals. Don’t buy any more, no matter how much you feel like you need to. We’re going to get through this.”
Aelfric’s face twisted into a frown.
“…Are you serious?”
Rylan let go and nodded.
“More than I’ve ever been.”
The boy looked at the ground, visibly stunned. Then, he stumbled and sat down on the chair next to the table.
Silence.
It was as if the two people had achieved a delicate standstill. After a few minutes, Aelfric was the first to break it. He looked at Rylan with bloodshot eyes.
“But… It’s the only way to run from the pain.”
Rylan’s heart ached. With a sad expression, he placed his hand on top of his brother’s head.
“We’ll find another way.”
Aelfric shook his head and slapped the hand away. Shock and sadness had morphed into anger.
“There is no other way! You taught me that!”
Rylan winced. His past mistakes were catching up to him. He kneeled on the floor in front of Aelfric with a face full of pain.
“…I know. But it’s not too late. You – no, we can change.”
Aelfric clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, then spoke.
“What are you talking about!? It was your idea all along! If this is a joke, it’s not funny! Tell me what we’re really going to do!”
Rylan knew what his brother meant. He had taken advantage of Aelfric’s feelings of sadness and helplessness, fully using them to obtain a partner in crime inside the family while also receiving someone else’s financial support.
Goddamn, I was a shitty person.
Roland would have been ashamed of Rylan, so that was exactly how he felt. It was at that moment that he felt like something else had fundamentally changed within him. Having Roland’s memories alone wouldn’t have been enough to make him feel like this, or so he believed, which meant there was something else at play. Or, since one’s personality was partly based on memories, did Roland’s memories cause such a change by themselves? In the end, it didn’t matter. He was the person he was right now, and it was better this way. He used to be scum, but no longer. He grasped Aelfric’s hand firmly.
“I mean everything that I’ve said. You need to find a way out of this muck, and I’ll help you through it.”
A single tear fell from Aelfric’s eyes. He spoke with a pained voice, his face filled with confusion.
“What happened to you? You would never have said anything like that before. Is that why Father let you go?”
“I changed, just like you can.”
“In a couple of days?”
Rylan flashed a bitter smile.
“To me, it felt like decades.”
Aelfric scoffed.
“…What do you want to do now?”
Rylan stood up.
“We must become better than who we were. To do that, we must sever all connection to our past selves and escape this mire. My priority is helping you. Father has also given me a task.”
Aelfric nodded, still looking a bit out of it. He looked at the wardrobe. Rylan knew that it was where he stored the Dust. He placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder.
“You will be happy, Aelfric. One day, you’ll look back and thank me for pulling you out of this.”
Aelfric turned to him.
“I believe you, Rylan. I always have.”
Rylan nodded with a sigh. He knew that. His brother’s trust in him was almost to the level of a burden. He hugged Aelfric.
The two of them held each other silently.
