L.E. Miranda
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SSR - Chapter 23: Tightening the Noose (3)
🕑 Added 2025-01-02 15:15:01 +0000 UTCIt was almost completely dark. Under the dim candlelight, he walked up to the bed. Aelfric lay on it, staring at the ceiling. He turned to Rylan, dark circles under his eyes. His clothes were damp with sweat. His expression changed as he looked at Rylan. He extended his hand; it was shaking. Rylan gladly took it into his own. He spoke in a soothing, tender tone.
“Brother.”
Aelfric’s expression collapsed. Tears streamed from his eyes.
“Rylan it’s so… So hard…”
Rylan’s heart wavered. It was a kind of pain that he hadn’t missed. His mind flashed back to Roland’s dying brother, who had orchestrated the entire plan to kill him. He didn’t want to feel abandoned by his family again, and for that not to happen, he couldn’t abandon them either.
“I know, Aelfric.”
He held his brother’s hand with a firm grip. Aelfric continued to cry.
“Every day, the pain is just too much. I need to become numb again.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I do!”
Truthfully, Rylan didn’t know how long it took one to recover from an addiction. It was something he hadn’t needed to face as Roland. Yet, he still got the cravings, which were forcefully kept under control by his mana circulation method. He could suppress the withdrawal symptoms, but they still existed. His Trait hindered him; every time, he would think of jumping right back into drugs. Only Roland’s tempered mentality had helped him. Aelfric’s voice got louder.
“Every day is meaningless! Day in and day out, nothing changes! It just gets harder! I don’t want to continue like this!”
Rylan felt as if his heart were being pierced. He let out a sad smile. He understood what Aelfric meant. From a young age, his brother had grappled with a mysterious state of mind. It sapped his desire to do anything, including to continue living. Rylan didn’t understand it, but he knew that Aelfric had only started following him blindly because he didn’t see any meaning in his life anymore. This state of mind was all-consuming and apparently unstoppable. Aelfric had only tried to slow it down.
He grasped Aelfric’s hand tighter.
“Aelfric. I’m going to teach you a way to suppress the withdrawal. I’m going to help you find meaning again to the best of my ability and knowledge.”
Aelfric gritted his teeth.
“I don’t care about that! Just let me go back to how it was!”
“Were you happy?”
With bloodshot eyes, Aelfric went silent. He lowered his gaze and head. In the end, he let out a whisper.
“I’ve been like this for too long. I don’t want to keep going.”
Rylan hugged his younger brother, placing his head on his chest.
“You will overcome this. I know it. And I’m going to help in any way I can. Don’t give up.”
“I gave up long ago.”
“Aelfric,” Rylan grabbed his brother’s shoulders and looked deep into his eyes, “Don’t tell anyone what I’m about to teach you, okay?”
Aelfric furrowed his brow. Rylan continued.
“It’s a technique I happened upon by chance, but it’s been helping me deal with the withdrawals. That’s how I can still act normally. After you’re feeling better, I promise that I’ll do my best to make you see that life is worth living.”
Aelfric snorted.
“It isn’t. Not this one.”
Rylan tightened his grip.
“Can you at least try? For me?”
“…Yes. I guess.”
“Thank you. Now what you’re going to do is think of your Mana Core as a heart and use it to circulate mana throughout your body.”
Aelfric was a Second Circle Mage with even more mana than Rylan. If he managed to learn the technique, his results would be even better. As Rylan explained the technique in depth, Aelfric’s expression changed from suspicion to disbelief. By the end, he was looking at Rylan with a strange expression.
“…I had never thought about that. How did you learn it?”
Rylan waved his hand dismissively.
“Don’t worry about that. Focus on what I said. Try it.”
With a look of suspicion, Aelfric closed his eyes. Rylan guided him through the process, never letting go of his hands. After some time, Aelfric opened his eyes.
“I don’t feel a difference.”
Rylan nodded.
“If you keep at it, you will. I’ll help you. As I said, it’s how I’m managing my withdrawal. It’ll take you some practice to get it right, but I believe you’ll be able to do it.”
Aelfric shut his eyes once more with a furrowed brow. Rylan continued to speak.
“Try to make it so that mana flows throughout your body with every heartbeat. Follow its rhythm. Picture that it’s moving with your bloodstream. Then, make it cycle back to your Mana Core and repeat the process, over and over. Speed isn’t your current goal. Just focus on getting it right.”
The minutes passed by. Rylan unceasingly tried to help his brother, using his own senses to gauge Aelfric’s mana’s flow. It was much easier said than done, but it was something he was capable of, as Roland had been. Naturally, Roland had been incomparably better at it. He spoke in a soothing tone.
“Good, you’re doing well. Now, complete the cycle.”
As he perceived Aelfric’s mana going back into the Mana Core after washing over Aelfric’s body, he smiled.
“Again.”
Over time, Aelfric improved.
He’s definitely talented.
He didn’t know what Aelfric’s Trait was, but he wouldn’t be surprised if it was Prodigy, given how quickly his brother was learning how to circulate mana. He momentarily considered what kind of Aura Aelfric would be able to awaken, but that wasn’t something he could predict just yet. He eyed his brother’s hands. The shaking had become less noticeable. The effect wasn’t drastic, but it was a start. It was a sign of change.
Rylan put his hand on Aelfric’s back. He could attempt to send some of his mana into Aelfric’s body to guide the process more efficiently, but it was something that he hadn’t yet tested. Before he was certain that he could do so safely, just like Roland had been able to, he wouldn’t do it. His brother’s performance was already stellar as it was.
He watched his brother’s circulation become faster and more accurate. With every cycle, Aelfric improved a bit, becoming more capable of following Rylan’s directions. This created a positive feedback loop; the more Aelfric improved, the better Rylan could feel his mana’s movements and guide him.
After an unknown amount of time, Aelfric opened his eyes and looked at his hands, following Rylan’s gaze. The shaking had almost subsided. He spoke.
“…It definitely feels a bit more manageable.”
As Aelfric raised his eyes to look at Rylan’s face, Rylan smiled.
“I told you. I’m going to help you to the best of my ability. I won’t let you suffer unnecessarily. If I could, I would have already told you about this method, but I only became capable of clearly perceiving your mana’s movements and helping you through it yesterday.”
Aelfric nodded slowly. A light smile crossed his expression.
“I don’t get it. I don’t know why you’ve changed so much, but I think it was a good thing. You’re a lot kinder now.”
Rylan gave his brother a sad smile.
“I should have been like this from the beginning. I’ll never betray you, Aelfric. I’ll never stop looking out for your best interests.”
“You never would have said that before. What happened?”
“I remembered what I had once forgotten. For both of our sakes, it’s better if I don’t answer your question just yet. I’ll do it when I’m powerful enough to face the aftermath. I’ve already taken a big risk by telling Father about it.”
Aelfric tilted his head.
“Remembered? I don’t understand. We’ve been like this for a long time now. What could you have remembered?”
“Aelfric.”
Aelfric let out a small sigh.
“Alright. I’ll be waiting to hear your answer. On another note,” He blinked, his eyes being filled with just a sliver of light, “I heard you and the soldiers went out on a mission and that you got someone to kill monsters for you.”
Rylan shook his head with a smile.
“I killed those monsters myself.”
“Is that related to what you have remembered?”
“Yes.”
Aelfric furrowed his brow.
“You must be sure to tell me what it was. I’ll keep asking.”
“I will, brother. When the time is right.”
Rylan held Aelfric’s hands tightly and continued to speak.
“For now, we need to worry about overcoming our addiction. Truthfully, I don’t know how long it will take until we’re free of this curse, but I’ll remain by your side through it all.”
Aelfric smiled.
“Thank you, Rylan.”
His voice was filled with emotion and unconditional trust. It was that exact trust that Rylan’s past self had exploited. A tinge of sadness crossed Rylan’s smile as his thoughts reached this point.
I can’t let him down. Not when I’ve already pulled him into the mire.
He didn’t excuse his past self’s actions. He needed to take full responsibility for them. It was the only way to improve and atone for the mistakes of both his lives. He would keep working on it even after he became able to hold his head up high. He stood up, walked up to the bedroom window, and opened it, letting the sunlight enter the room. Aelfric squinted with a grunt and covered his eyes. Rylan let out a small chuckle.
“Don’t be like that. It’s already past noon.”
Aelfric mumbled a response.
“I don’t care. I don’t get out of bed this early.”
“We’re going to change that. It’s related to something else I want to discuss with you.”
Aelfric looked at him with a questioning gaze as he walked back to his spot next to the bed.
“You need to start training again.”
Comments
musashi
Great chapter. Thanks for correcting any typos. Remarkably few in any chapter. The respect for your readers is appreciated.
