BaraKatalouge
patreon
Status Update
🕑 Added 2025-01-28 21:55:58 +0000 UTC(January 28th, 2024)
Hello.
I'm sure you all have been wondering where I've been, or what's happened to me, and I'll tell you. Everything.
I am 22 years old. I live with my grandmother, my mother, and youngest sister. None of them are aware that I am not straight, have a Patreon account, or any presence on the internet for that matter; meaning, I cannot go for them or anyone else in my family regarding this, by any means.
My checking account is dead, and my bank has been sending me letters in the mail that I need to pay them back, all $513 dollars, or nothing.
I have had multiple offers to work for other people on the internet come and go over the past three months, and all of them have fallen through, whether that be due to
the project itself falling away, or me not being able to accomplish anything due to the debt destroying my work ethic. None of which have provided any income or stability.
I have received another offer this month, but it's too early to tell if it will lead to anything.
Every single job application that I have sent in the past three months has been denied. Either immediately, or after an entire week of waiting.
I have considered ending my own life on multiple occasions. No attempts have been made. Only a single individual that I am in contact with online is aware of this.
I have not worked on anything relating to you all in that time. At the time, I was desperate to make the money needed to pay the bank in time, plus all the commissions that I still owe everyone.
I shouldn't have taken that many requests at once. Every time I would even think about doing anything relating to it, I would physically be incapable of moving. I don't know what that means for me.
I have been making some improvements, art-wise. I have a SFW account where I've been able to do things again, keeping my mind off of this.
But that doesn't help you all out, does it? It's useless. Pointless.
What do you all think I should do? I'm at a loss.
Comments
Munchbucket
Take care, rooting for you :)
Munchbucket
FWIW; Requests are requests at the end of the day. Your wellbeing is priority, the requests don’t matter because if you aren’t around, they don’t exist anyways. Thus, all roads point to you looking after yourself hon. The situation you’re in, is intense and nuanced. It’s a real finicky problem, so do what you need but keep safe as much as you can hon.
SmushySins
Just do what you can do, don't try to push yourself more than you can handle and slowly chip away what you can do and control in your life.
Miles Stranger
Don't give up. You are doing the best that you can and thats all anyone can expect from you. Thanks for the update.
Dave T.W.
Thank you. It's just hard not to feel like I'm letting everyone down every day.
SassySauns
Give yourself some grace. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by it all and having it be tied to debt is an awful position to be in. I have been in your shoes several times and the only sound advice I have is chip away at what you can and keep looking for work. I wish this could be more helpful but know that we as a fan base are here to support you 🙏❤️
