KosoruCG
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This Week At KosoruCG 7/16-7/22
🕑 Added 2023-07-16 21:45:19 +0000 UTCHello GG welcome to the weekly report
we have a lot of content
whether important or unimportant
so find a nice place to sit
and maybe grab an iced coffee or something
I feel like I haven't written a weekly for a long time
If you often read my weekly
You'll know that the first two weeks of this month's weekly report was done in a relative rush
Because I didn't write a bunch of crap into it lmao
Let's start with the important stuff
lest I forget something again
uh...yes
We started using new lighting in Stalker 7
however, Stalker 7 that week I mainly studied composition rules
The light and shadow technology is completed on "Lucky day 2 if"
Then after "Lucky day 2 if" done
I think my loop animation research to a paragraph
I started trying to make animation like this in Rat 4
I think it works well
they are not bad and I will still make them
But now I think it's time to start a new series
as for partner 8
I think it might be a little bit later
the new series I am currently planning is a brand new project
never mentioned before
as for Stalker 8 I guess it will come out in August
Currently in the schedule but not yet completed is the remake of Mo
because it didn't meet my expectations
so you won't see so soon
I have a bunch of videos I haven't made yet
but don't worry
I don't think it's a bad thing to have a bunch of unmade videos
that mean I still have a lot of ideas
that's a good thing no doubt
oh oh
then i forgot to say
there was a great script writer last month
he brought me a very detailed script
this script will probably be the scene of the next series
there are still some things in there that I need to plan
but i have confidence in it
I mentioned in "Details about the Request"
If you have a great script or character
you can come to me i am sure i will be interested
okay I think the serious part is over
let's talk about something funny
Basically I'm working on something new every week
I think rather than making the same videos all the time
learning to improve quality is more important
Because in fact I think my efficiency in making videos is uh...... not low
so I will have an expectation for the number of my own works, I hope to do more and let everyone see these videos
So I often tell my friends
oh man I think I update very slowly
but they also have creators who subscribe to FANBOX
they told me
In fact, they rarely see someone update so quickly
okay to tell the truth
I only do maybe four things a day now
eating, sleeping, farming, making videos
That's why I say that writing the weekly report is the most relaxing time for me
If you have questions about farming
because i moved to the country
then i have a big yard
so i grow vegetables just for... good health
Get some sun, get up and move body or something
seriously I think I'm healthier than ever
then secretly tell you
every time i find something new
or made a new shot
and then this shot does exactly what I want
I'll be so excited I'll hug my head in front of the screen and shout
oh shit!!
oh shit!!!!
oh shit!!!!!!!!!!
Then in your mind like a football player scoring a goal
run around the field
For example the butt data of "Lucky day 2 if"
I think the shaking and camera are really good
So I ran two laps of the field
in my head of course
and now I'm going to tell a pretty long story
it was the beginning of july
remember i mentioned a friend of mine
I lived in the basement of his restaurant before I moved
I know this guy because we all work under a shitty boss
we have many mutual friends
I made an appointment with him to have dinner with other friends on 7/1
when I returned to the city on 6/30, he suddenly sent a message to tell me
he told me: My girlfriend's friend is going to celebrate her birthday on 7/1
so let's make a date later
I feel weird hearing this
i mean....your girlfriend?
Isn't it Wendy?
or did you change your girlfriend?
I've known you for as long as I've known Wendy
and her mother invited me to dinner during the festival, and you know it
Then you tell me your "girlfriend"
I think okay he might just call Wendy his girlfriend occasionally
Then I asked him what about Ben?
don't we all have a date?
He told me Ben would be there too
but he's afraid of embarrassing me because there will be a lot of Wendy's friends and I don't know them
I told him I think it's okay
I know you all and I know Wendy so what's the problem?
He said:or do you want to make another appointment with Ben?
I'm thinking are you kidding me? I live so far away
can i fucking stay with you guys every day?
so i was telling him
I think it's okay because I'm bored
He only replied to me: or maybe you want to stay with your family?
my heart is full of doubts
but I don't want to ask in the message
So I just asked him if he was at work
I'm going to go straight to the restaurant where he's working right now
when i saw him
I feel.......
indifferent
not just for me
it's his whole body
at that time his restaurant was closed
i sit next to him
he's eating lunch
Look at him like he did in March
Remember I mentioned he eat curry with his eyes closed?
like that but this time with half open
I asked him if he saw Ben lately
how's his breakfast shop?
how is his business
is he doing well?
he told me: he is fine, he is happier than before
he said Ben is now his own boss
no one restrains him, he is very happy now
Then I asked him how is Ben's wife doing?
they still run the same work together?
Then he told me the income of these two people
I sound like that income is a....uh.......
Maybe a little more than supermarket employees?
I'm not saying you can't earn like a supermarket worker
but what if you guys are going to have kids later?
what if you want to buy a house?
You can't work 12 hours a day with your wife
then he closes the shop for one day every week
that is, he has 4 days off a month
and he's the boss....
then i asked him
So... does Ben have any plans?
He told me: No, Ben is happier now than before
he is freer than before
uh...I don't know what kind of freedom there is in a restaurant working 12 hours a day and taking 4 days off a month....
Then I asked him: what about Kevin?have you seen him recently
how is his restaurant ? how is his business?
He told me he and Ben just drove to find Kevin last month
(I don't know why he didn't tell me
I thought he might think I was busy so he didn't ask me)
He said Kevin was at the construction site moving bricks in the morning
go home to open shop at night
But he's closed the shop now
He is going to do insurance business now
I looked at him and said: kevin? insurance business? are you serious?
Kevin is a collection of negative energy
It feels like there's always a cloud over his head
: "Why does Kevin think he can do insurance business?" I ask
He said: Kevin's friends told Kevin that he is suitable for sales
in fact
someone told Kevin about five years ago that he wanted to open a store with him
and scammed him out of about... $30K
:"oh so now another "friend" tells Kevin he's fit to sell?" I say
He told me he and Ben both told Kevin he wasn't right for the insurance business
BUT!
Kevin is willing to spend money on himself now
He looks happier than before!
I asked: Is it a retaliatory spending or is he really willing to treat himself better?
because Kevin is a person who won't even buy himself a bottle of Coke
so I ask
then he told me: "Kevin bought himself a car for his birthday"
then I was like: WTF he bought a car?
he was scammed out of $30K and opened another store, which is now closed
got a bunch of money owed and now he bought a car?
"oh no no no no no WTF why would he buy a car" I say
He told me: Kevin is going to sell insurance now, it is necessary for him to have a car
besides he looks happier now than before
I thought:"uh...okay...maybe everyone is actually happy...?"
then i looked at him
i don't feel real
not at all
but i don't think he lied to me
he just lied to himself
he kept telling me: Everyone is happier than before
then keep telling me how miserable the previous boss was.
the store is closed now, and all his friends have left him.
brabrabra
But I really don't care what happened to our former boss
he is a bad person
but I feel like this person's failures and successes are no longer relevant to me
i don't care
I hear... feel in everything he says
"how miserable is the previous boss now"
"everyone is happier now than before"
he seems to be telling me
tell himself
Everyone was right to leave that boss
we all made the right decision...it's good
we are right....we are right.....we are right
But I don't see joy in him...
my weekly paper writes here and my heart is filled with pain
This is a 7/1 happening
But I didn't deal with this emotion
because I really want to update my video
I put these things in the back of my mind
now to digest these things
I ask him: what about you? what are you up to?
aren't you going to open a new restaurant?
he told me...
he is waiting
Waiting for Wendy's mother to open a breakfast shop
he told me two years ago that he would love to fulfill Wendy's mother's dream
"open a breakfast shop"
I asked him when are you going to wait?
And her mother is going to open a breakfast shop why can't you open it first?
what is the connection between this
he told me he thought it would
I think when you don't want to do something...
You'll find 100 reasons not to finish it
Then he told me he made a new sauce
Imitate what the previous boss did
and it's even better than the previous owner's sauce
I tried his sauce
I think it is really more powerful than the previous boss's sauce
I am very happy for him
I told him: oh that's right when are you going to sell this thing
you should open a restaurant!
you will definitely make money!
And he started telling me he made this sauce
surpassed the previous boss
Then keep telling me how bad life was with our previous boss
when he talks about these things
I don't see any joy in him
Although he didn't ask about me at all
but I have a lot to say to him
he often has headaches
I want to tell him that I found out that more sun exposure and farming can make you healthier
I used to have a lot of headaches but not anymore
or my joy in making a video
I want to tell him I found myself
how much fun life is
I have so much to say to him
But I want to apologize to him first
I think I may have something that bothered him when I was his colleague or even an employee
I want to fix these errors
I want to start this relationship from scratch
I want to tell him I'm sorry about those things
then i looked into his eyes
I told him very sincerely but also a little bit shyly:
I'm now my own boss
I'm beginning to understand how you felt
I'm sorry for the trouble I caused you before
And then I see him turn his head and eyes to the side
avoided me
Then keep telling me how bad life is with my previous boss
as if he didn't hear what I just said
I'm only about 50cm away from him
that moment my heart broke...
I came here to ask him: "don't you want me to go to Wendy's birthday"
and then there are many, many things I want to tell him
oh my god let me pause the story
Why is it still so painful? so real pain
weird right?
the heart obviously just pumps blood to the whole body
but it can hurt so much when you feel certain emotions
so let's continue the story
i forgot what he said
maybe i'm not listening at all
so it's not forgetting
I rode here in the rain that afternoon
looking forward to seeing friends
I don't really care that the water on the ground is half a meter high
but in that moment everything was different
the moment he turned his head away
even after 17 days
that short second is still etched in my heart
I pretended to listen to his stories
about how miserable the former boss was
and bewildered by what happened
i listened to his story
i sat next to him
but I feel like I can't touch this guy
this man... these friends are getting farther and farther away from me
We could play games together three months ago
We could still be under the same boss two years ago and say how bad he is
then just three months later
I feel like these friends are so far away from me
so far away...
Watching the rain stop outside the window
I told him it was time for me to leave
I've been riding for 6 hours and I'm pretty tired now
Then he told me his time off was almost over
so i get up and leave
When I set the navigation at the door of the restaurant
there is only pain in my heart
But I think he's probably in more pain than me right now
them...Including Kevin and Ben
none of them lied to me
they lied to themselves...
i started the engine
I saw him waving at me in the restaurant
with a smile
an unreal smile
i nodded to him
A thought flashed through my mind before I turned the throttle...
"will i see him again?"
then i left
not just him
I think these friends are getting farther and farther away from me...
these old colleagues
I stayed in the city for 3 days
6/30~7/2
When I visited my aunt on 7/2
we talked about it
I told her: I don't think I'm such a bad colleague or employee
And after I left
I make videos in his basement
I will also use my time to help him make his order
because it is impossible for him and Jason to make such a large amount of things
i told my aunt
I think we are very close
I'm not that bad, I'll help him with his orders
even if i didn't take his money
My aunt told me: that's probably why
because he needs you and you can help him
uh...i'm totally stunned
I told her: I treat him like my brother
She told me: When you sincerely apologize to him and he turns his head away
You should know that he should have a lot of opinions on you
He's had a grudge against you for a long time
Just because he still needs you so he doesn't show it
now you can't help him, of course he won't accept your apology
I just said: but... I see him like a brother.....
she told me
When you get older, you meet more people
you'll know that a lot of times people show kindness
just because you are useful to him
i don't blame anyone
I don't think my aunt said anything bad about my friend
I don't feel offended why he has to look friendly
Just because I'm free labor
I'm actually very calm
I'm just lamenting that there's no way to really be friends with these people
i have asked myself
If one day he opens a new restaurant
or he is getting married
i got an invitation will i go?
i think the answer is yes
definitely
I still hope the relationship can be mended
Even if the previous ones were all fake
I do not care
If it's okay to start over I can introduce myself again
so yeah....
I still like these people
these old colleagues
i hope they're all really happy
But I won't tell them they're kidding themselves now
i thought of my friend
told me I became an idiot
and now he doesn't want to talk to me
so i was thinking
if i don't tell them they're wrong
So am I really a friend?
But... I think everyone has lessons to learn
I don't want to solve other people's problems
not because i don't care
because if he doesn't realize it's a problem
I told him it only added to their annoyance
make his life worse
but he won't do anything meaningful
so that's actually making things worse
but if they need help
I think I'll still offer my advice
okay now my heart doesn't hurt so much
Because I reaffirmed my own heart
I still want to keep this relationship
It doesn't matter if the previous one was fake
okay this story ends here
If there is anything new I will let you know
OMG I wrote a weekly report for 4 hours
Then most of the time what I write has nothing to do with the video
but everyone is probably used to it
I'm looking at my weekly cover right now and wondering how I'm going to end this weekly
and then I started thinking about how I got here
did you see that Momo?
have you seen my first work uploaded last 11/10?
that's what i want to share
although I still want to share my farming experience
but what I planted hasn't grown yet so...yeah
maybe next time
I think I need to go get some sleep
this incident and this story have been buried in my heart for about half a month
uh...Although I just said that my previous two weekly reports were relatively short
But I seem to be missing a weekly newspaper this month
probably the week I got back from the city
oh that happened to be 7/2
so I wasn't actually going to deal with those emotions at the time
anyway i also suggest you
If something terrible happens to you
In fact, you can not deal with this emotion right now
but you can't hide forever
that's not healthy
you can deal with it later but you can't not deal with it
It's been about half a month for me too
(although I still feel pain as i write this weekly)
uh...that's all
thank you for watching the weekly
oh and I have a hunch you'll see Ryza in next video
(actually I haven't played this game but I like her legs)
anyway...
hope you look forward to the next video:)
Comments
KosoruCG
thank you:) I think maybe 20 years later I come back and see these things I wrote may feel: "It turns out that I would be troubled by such a thing."
ffw2333
Not only your videos, but your weekly diaries are also very interesting, and I have been paying attention to them recently, looking forward to more updates from you! I wish you all the best!
