EPICGusher
patreon
worst birthday ever
🕑 Added 2019-09-26 02:04:12 +0000 UTChi guys. so today was my birthday and it turned out to be absolutely horrible and honestly i didn’t have anyone to speak to about it at the moment so i just thought i’d vent here. im not saying this for pity, im says this because this is a place that is for me and the people who support me so much on a daily basis. you guys are the people who do so much to support me every day, even without knowing so i wanna say thank you so much because the best birthday gift of all is knowing that people enjoy something that i bring into their life. even if its for 10 minutes a day, if i make you laugh or smile, it gives me the warmest feeling in the world. so i just thought i would take today to share something with you guys that is the opposite of uplifting or positive, because we all deal with this side of life. so today was my 18th birthday. it was all going fine, but it pretty much ended with my family falling apart. we were having a family dinner and we started talking as a family, as we always do. keep in mind throughout this that my dad is someone who is very narrow minded and has high temper, so that was a big cause for all of this. my sister (who is a university student, 4th year. 22 years old) commented on her future and wants and everything like that, and my dad made a comment. i won’t go into it too much because im sure it’s just a lot of words that don’t matter to most of you. basically my dad made a comment that was very disrespectful towards my sister, and to be honest i noticed it straight away and it edged me out. it bothered me to hear. but to be honest, i never really speak in my house. i don’t like to get involved because i know how situations escalate and i just like to get through the day without issues or arguments. i don’t like to fight. but my sister is someone who puts 10000% of her effort into everything she does every day, and she does it for our parents. she has literally driven herself insane over the past few years, and i mean INSANE. she does absolutely nothing but school, she gets literal PERFECT grades and she doesn’t settle for less.. all of that with the pressure on her shoulders of my dad. yes it’s something she wants to do, but its come to a point where she’s not even doing it for herself anymore, she’s doing it for him because she’s terrified of what he’s gonna say or do when she tells him something he won’t like. getting back to the situation, the comment he made was insulting and insanely ignorant towards everything my sister is working towards and everything she wants in her future. the way he goes about things when it comes to us and our futures is constantly reliant on what HE wants for us, and what HE thinks is good enough. it limits us from being happy a lot of the times to be honest. i know tons of people say that they wish their parents pushed them to do better, but encouraging someone to do better and forcing them to do something with guilt, fear and threats is a completely different thing. parents should raise you the way they want, raise you with their morals and what they believe in, tell you what they know and give you the knowledge to make your own decisions. its not their job to force you into making decisions that they want when you’re an adult. if a child is grown up and an adult, at that point you’ve done the guiding, and now they have to make their decisions, and if the decision they make is what makes them happy then you have no right to say anything against them. you don’t have to agree, but you have to respect it. i mentioned my dads bad temper?? well that’s important now. my sister obviously didn’t ignore the comment, she stood her ground and told him how disrespectful it was. i won’t get into the words that were said, but the “conversation” ended with my dad yelling at the top of his lungs, him breaking objects around the house, throwing them, and saying “f*ck all of you. i want all of you out of the f*cking house” and then just leaving. this is all during my birthday dinner. and after he left, the rest of this night consisted of everyone left at the dinner table crying, and after a while my mom tried to act like it didn’t happen. she took my cake out, stuck candles in it, and sang happy birthday to me by herself while i was sitting there sniffling with tear stains on my cheek and fresh tears still in my eyes. she was taking a video of me blowing out the candles and everything and told me to smile for a picture when it was extremely clear that i was just obviously not in the mood after that night (nobody was), which was clear since everyone had either left already or was still sitting at the table crying. the fact that she continued to sing to me and take a picture expecting me to fake smile after all of that. it just hurt. it was all so fucking fake and i hate that the only picture memories i have of my 18th birthday is me with a fake smile, while my mom, sister and grandma are sitting behind the camera in dead silence knowing how sad it was. so ya, that was my 18th birthday and i know it sounded like a sob story, but it honestly hurt me so much and i just wanted to let this all out. i just need the night to rest. videos resume tomorrow guys
