Drewells976
patreon
Chapter 299 - Musings on the Condition of Humanity
🕑 Added 2025-01-07 04:28:41 +0000 UTCOrange Tier Announcement: With this, the Orange Tier is back 4 chapters ahead of RR. I'm again sorry for the mess of the last months, and thank you for all the patience <3
I'll continue to release chapters for the Yellow Tier to also bring it back where it should be.
Hobbes pranced along the smooth wooden board, pawing the glass globes out of his path.
The bottles clinked and rolled, ultimately falling toward the rim of the cabinet. They shattered on the stone floor with a satisfying cascade of tinkles, releasing puffs of colorful powder and scented liquids.
Inferior elemental motes swirled in a vortex that lost Hobbes’ attention halfway through. Humans liked to hoard things with bright mana; it was one of the silly habits his familiar enjoyed as well. Though the owner of this cabinet wasn’t a very skilled collector.
Among all these sealed glass balls, not one contained superior mana. How disappointing.
Lost in his musings, Hobbes realized a single black glass blob remained on the shelf—the brightest in the collection. Sometimes, his ability to complete a task surprised even himself. Pity it also contained useless, murky mana.
He had no idea what silly pursuit the shiny bottles were for, but he enjoyed watching them tumble and break. That was enough. Hobbes rolled the last glass globe beneath his silver paw. This throw required finesse, not that he doubted his ability to hit a target.
With an elegant push, the inky bottle wheeled toward its destined goal. It tipped over the wooden rim just as the door on the left was thrown open. Half a dozen humans garbed in black barged in just in time to enjoy the shattering of the glass. Perfect. After all, amusing experiences were supposed to be shared—Hobbes hoped they appreciated his generosity.
Bound by duty, he blinked to a room in the opposite direction, unable to fully enjoy his masterful work. They must believe they were chasing a cunning human, not that they’d be worthy to gaze upon him anyway.
From their dramatic screams, his efforts hadn’t been wasted. After this last stroke, the blood-reeking humans would be busy searching in the wrong direction.
Tail held high, Hobbes sashayed to check on his favorite servant. Humans were careless creatures; they wouldn’t survive a light cycle without his guidance.
He blinked across a cluster of rooms, disdainfully slipping past their blatant traps. What was the point of weaving webs of essence over the doors when you left the stone and ground wide open? If you were so incompetent, it would be better to forgo the task entirely.
Hobbes flicked his tail at the absurdity. Since traveling outside his birth dimension, he had learned not to judge lesser creatures too harshly. It wasn’t their fault they were born witless and lumbering.
Crossing a chamber that stank of dried blood and sorrow, he landed in a dusty storeroom filled with piles of paperstuff. The scribbles on the door had dimmed due to an improperly traced line that no one had bothered to fix. Flynn had twisted his frame into a nook beneath a cabinet—right where he had been left. He would have been much more comfortable if his body wasn’t so needlessly tall.
Why would anyone want such long limbs? No wonder humans were so clumsy. If they had been smart, they would have learned superior magic to travel. Still, large bodies had their uses; his servant’s shoulders offered a snug place to look down on the world.
It was a miracle no one had found him despite the Shadow mana clumped over him. But while he may be foolish, there was a reason Flynn had gained his favor: the other humans were clearly beneath him.
Hobbes was about to go comfort his retainer when a pair of boots thumped in the hallway. The door swung open with a low creak, and an individual clad in dark clothes strode inside.
These damp caves swarmed with humans in unimaginative clothing stinking of blood, though quantity couldn’t compensate for their lacking competence or hygiene.
Hobbes slumped on the highest bookcase. His paw hung over the edge as he watched the pale-faced woman give a cursory glance at the shelves of blotched paperstuff. Her gaze flew over Flynn’s cluster of Shadow to a desk with a half-rotten leg.
“…this to catch a rat,” she huffed with a grumble. “They were supposed to tie off loose ends, not make a bigger mess…” The woman grabbed a folder and marched toward the door, still muttering gibberish to herself.
As she was about to cross the threshold, her hand lingered on the iron pommel. With lackluster speed, she spun around to sweep her gaze across the ceiling. A loose page fluttered in a winding motion toward the ground.
“Ugh…” She caught the paper, shoving it back onto a shelf. “Someone should tidy this place…”
On the empty ledge behind her, Hobbes stretched his claws, drawing a line in a leather cover. How many sheets would he need to drop before she caught on? Given how dull these humans were, probably more than a dozen…
And how long before she started jumping at every shade? Three days? Four?
Finding the answer would have been amusing at another time, but he had other duties to fulfill. An invisible thorn pricked his guts and made his coat puff up; fear lingered along the muted bond like a sour taste. He must find his foolish familiar and provide the leadership his servants need.
A few tedious moments later, the human woman shut the door behind her. Her steps grew fainter and soon disappeared. No other presences moved in their direction. This branch of the den remained deserted except for a handful of flickering auras in a chamber below, no one that posed a threat.
Hobbes leaped to a pile of books where his servant was hidden.
“Uh… Is it safe to come out?” A whisper came from the veil of Shadow.
Such a question should need no answer—naturally, the clueless humans had run where he pointed. Still, Hobbes didn’t mind indulging his favorite with some reassurance. “Meeew.”
A relieved sigh came from the dark nook. “Thanks, Hobbes. You’re the best.”
“Meow.” Hobbes raised his tail in a modest arc and started grooming his coat. Sometimes, it wasn’t bad to rehash obvious facts.
“Give me a moment…” Flynn twisted his head and shoulders out of the cranny. Despite his tall frame, he was one of the least clumsy humans Hobbes knew. He pulled himself out without making the cabinet so much as quiver.
Standing upright, he cracked his neck and bowed to scratch his liege’s ear. “Did you lead them away? Are we in danger?”
“Mrooow… Mew…” Hobbes allowed the petting for Flynn’s sake. He rolled onto his back to enjoy the scratches as his body let out a soft purr—it was clear his servant needed to be comforted.
“Thank you for the help.” Flynn showed his teeth in contentment, then his gaze wandered to the dimly lit, dusty room. The hand scratching his belly stiffened. Looking up, Hobbes recognized the droopy look humans had when they were sad or scared. “Do you know where the others are? Are they…?”
“Meww.” Hobbes nuzzled Flynn’s hand.
“Oh, I see… They’re still alive.” A sigh escaped his lips as his frantic heartbeat slowed down.
His servant picked him up against his chest for more pets—clearly, he needed a lot of comfort. Hobbes had to admit it wasn’t too bad himself. He pulled his paws close and wrapped his tail around his arm. For a moment, he forgot the damp, dark tunnels that made his fur curl and matted.
Everything would be alright. The presence that had accompanied him out of his dark days was feeble and clouded but unmistakably alive. Kai breathed somewhere in this underground den. Hobbes couldn’t say about the others, though he didn’t bother to specify.
He arched his body, enjoying the fingers drawn over his back. It almost balanced the troubles he had to go through. Humans could dally and loiter all day, but he had a group of helpless humans to save.
Hobbes gathered his resolve and gave his orders. “Mroww.” Looking after his retainers was an exhausting and thankless job.
“Uhmm, you’re right.” Flynn delicately placed his paws on the rough stone floor. “We can’t stay here.”
“Meoow…”
“Do you know where the others are?” Flynn fiddled with a pointed metal stick, looking at the light filtering beneath the locked door. He muttered a series of harsh words before turning to his liege for instructions, as was proper. ” We must save them before these psychos do something...” Flynn gnawed on his bottom lip.
Hobbes patiently licked his paw. Of course, he had already been mopping up their mess. It was typical of humans to tangle the yarn and expect somebody else to fix it. None of this would have happened if they had listened to him, but he understood the failings of lower beings.
Flynn rested his ear on the wooden board of the door, whispering. “Do you know where Kai is? Can you lead me to him?”
“Meow…” Hobbes already had one foolish familiar and a band of underlings to rescue. He didn’t want to increase the number, though Flynn had proved to have some sense… Under his servant's pleading stare, Hobbes relented. “Mrroow…”
Flynn watched him with blank, uncomprehending eyes.
“Meeew!” Hobbes whipped his tail against his leg, exasperated. He had bothered to decipher human gibberish, so why couldn’t they extend the same courtesy to him? Ultimately, searching for sense in such senseless creatures served no purpose.
Hobbes sauntered toward the door and blinked to the empty tunnel on the other side. Seconds later, Flynn peeked his head out of the doorway.
“Mew.” Hobbes gestured he knew Kai to be, past the stone walls and several tunnels, one level underground.
Flynn knitted the fur over his eyes, looking at the corner of the stone floor. Then his eyes lit up in realization. He nodded his thanks and stealthily crept through the hallway, closer to the pointed direction.
With Flynn taken care of, Hobbes turned his focus toward his familiar. The presence pulsed in his mind, distorted by the inky mana webs that wrapped this space like the weaves of an ugly spider.
A few months ago, Hobbes would not have been able to track it, but their bond had grown fastidiously strong. Sometimes silly images and impressions trickled into his mind. Those amusing distractions were absent now, though Kai’s direction remained as obvious to him as Flynn skulking down a corridor under a veil of Shadow.
Hobbes swished his tail. He’d have to teach him how to sneak properly once they got out of here, or it would begin to reflect poorly on him. Luckily, the black-clothed people in this den were half-blind. They had swarmed toward his distractions, leaving these tunnels largely empty.
Flicking his fluffy tail, Hobbes set his mind on the next goal. Rock, dirt and magic held no meaning as the streams of iridescent motes unraveled in his sight. He skipped across chambers and hallways, tracing back the connection of his familiar. Many halls he crossed stunk of blood and pungent concoctions he couldn’t quite identify.
They vaguely resembled the glowing mixtures Kai played with, just several times more noxious and less fun. Their smells felt somewhat wrong and unnatural, enough to make his silver coat puff up.
Leaving the chamber, Hobbes stopped over a circle of freshly painted doodles to pinpoint his familiar’s location. The impressions were becoming clearer. Kai was weakened but awake, easing the prickly knot in his guts.
About to blink away, Hobbes hissed at his paws that had been stained in dark, glowing ink. These humans didn’t even offer the decency of a clean floor. He leaped onto a wooden table, cleaning his paws on a dirty piece of paper. As if the dust clinging to his coat wasn’t already maddening, now this—his familiar would never understand the sacrifices and indignities he suffered for him.
Hobbes turned his attention away from his unseemly condition to the glowing pathways. Dark webs of essence had been woven into the stone, thicker than any of the previous ones. It took a full swing of his tail to find a way through and blink inside.
The room was dark and stale, burdened by the breaths of a figure sleeping. Was this the man responsible for staining his paws? Perched on a wardrobe, Hobbes pondered how to dispense justice when a jumble of sensations brushed his mind.
Hobbes…? I can finally reach you. Where are you? Are you safe?
The meaning flowed through the bond clearer than if Kai spoke before him. From the frantic worry, someone might think Hobbes had been the one to get captured and not the other way around.
Being the bigger feline, Hobbes reassured him the situation was firmly in his paw. Flynn was safe from pursuit, and those reeking cultists had run where he pointed without catching a hair of his tail.
A sudden jingle pulled his senses back to the room where the human still snored. Hobbes regarded him with a disdainful look. In his sleep, the man had pulled the ragged cover aside, making the metal on his belt chime.
Thank you, Hobbes. If you weren’t there… I… You did well.
Praise and relief surged through the bond—as expected for his wise deeds. Hobbes curled up on top of the wardrobe. A strange, ticklish feeling swelled inside of him, driving back the damp coldness of the underground.
He couldn’t quite say what it was, probably some nonsense Kai had infected him with. Hobbes wouldn’t get swayed by his familiar’s sly tricks—the main issue remained unaddressed.
Without waiting for a reply, he shoved his inquiries back at his familiar. Was Kai injured? Where was he being held? How could he be so foolish to trust that fork-tongued girl?
The flurry of questions left their connection in a sheepish silence—as well it should. When Hobbes got his paws on him, he would teach him the meaning of caution.
I’m fine… We’re fine! You don’t need to worry. We’re trapped but not gravely injured.
A series of blurry images and sensations flooded his thoughts. Kai’s fear and exhaustion rose like a murky tide. A flicker of light reflected on steel bars covered in black doodles. Three humans were chained in a dark cell beside him: the fishboy bled from his head, Kai’s cranky sister and the papergirl slumped against the stone, both unconscious and held up by their shackles. In the narrow corridor outside, two cultists periodically patrolled.
Hobbes let out a low growl and retracted the ivory claws that had stretched without his consent. The sleeping man below still snored. Typical human behavior—unaware of their surroundings.
The familiar bond flowed freely since reaching this room—Kai was close, just a few blinks away. It would just—
No, don’t come! We’re not in danger right now. Kai’s thoughts became hazy before snapping into sharp clarity. This cell is covered in enchantments that I can’t read. There is no way to break the bars. We can’t risk you getting caught.
Hobbes flicked his tail in annoyance. Considering the circumstances, he magnanimously decided not to take his familiar’s worries as an insult. The crude webs of mana in this den would never stop him, much trap him, though Kai might still have a point…
From the images he shared, entering wasn’t the problem. While he could reach any place unhindered, his human retainers hadn’t learned superior magic. Their laziness made things inconvenient…
With his exceptional talents and a great deal of effort, he might carry one of them, but there were too many. Not to mention, escaping this den required more than one blink. His tail whipped the air again. Why did humans have to be so needlessly large? Escaping wouldn't be so vexing if they had a more sensible size.
How could he get them all out?
The metal bars and shackles looked sturdy. Obviously, they’d be no match for his claws, but slicing them would cause a ruckus. It’d ruin the efforts he put into his masterful sneaking. No, he needed a more subtle way to get them out…
The connection stirred again, a fuzzy image intruded into his thoughts: a metal ring linked with a dozen bizarrely shaped metal sticks.
Keys…
Hobbes took a moment to recall the primitive concept. Humans liked to build flimsy boxes and used keys to open and close certain entrances. He couldn’t comprehend why anyone would create such ineffective contraptions, but humans were strange beings by nature.
Hobbes hissed at the conundrum. Where would he find something like that? His eyes strayed to the man still snoring below, fixating on the dull ring hanging from his belt that produced another jingle.
It seemed even the most thoughtless creatures had a purpose after all…
---------
A/n: This chapter was fun to write, though it took a while to get to narrow down Hobbes’ voice. I'll clean up some things in the published version, as I might have had a bit too much fun showing off Hobbes’ personality. Hopefully, y'all still enjoyed it!
It also may not be clear, but Kai and Hobbes don't have the ability to perfectly communicate. For them, it's more feelings/images, and much of it depends on how the receiver interprets them.
I hope you've had a good start to 2025. And Happy New Year!
I can't believe the next chapter is number 300!
Comments
Alison (aka Brianna Stormcloud)
Loved the chapter, Hobbes' voice is the perfect meld of cat/god!
Constantinos
Love this chapter! Worth the waiting.
Mina She
I love Hobbes. He might be one of the best written and most useful familiars I have read about. Can’t get over Kai and friends’ stupidity in this arc though(I am blaming it all on Kea) but I am glad Hobbes is there to save the day. I absolutely love that to Hobbes, Kai is the familiar and everyone else are just servants.
George R
Great
Scion
I don't think anything needs edited
Sean
Great chapter
ThoMiCroN
For a moment it was as if Finn could understand catspeak.
vdv9
Tyftc
