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Chapter 170: The Fat House And The Raccoon From Time Traveling
🕑 Added 2025-11-06 11:41:36 +0000 UTCIn the year 2023, inside the Avengers Compound, Dr. Bruce Banner—now the Hulk—was full of disbelief.
Beside him, the overweight Thor held Stormbreaker in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other, staring blankly at the three-dimensional projection before him.
“F**! What a cursed past! That bastard Allens... I’m going to kick his a*!”
After draining the beer, Thor tossed the bottle aside. His tone was weary and defeated, making Rocket Raccoon—standing nearby—cover his face helplessly.
“Hey, Fat Thor! Don’t you feel any anger watching Asgard being destroyed again?”
Rocket glared at the holographic projection showing Asgard’s destruction. Gripping his massive magnetic storm gun, he aimed it at the image furiously.
“Anger? Hahaha, my friend, don’t joke,” Thor said with a bitter laugh. “Asgard’s been destroyed so many times—whether it was Hela’s Ragnarök or Thanos’ massacre… bah.”
With that, Thor gave a drunken grin and staggered toward the Quantum Shuttle. He clearly needed more beer. As for Asgard’s fall? He didn’t care anymore.
“Oh, my dear Thor, I’m... sorry. Well, I mean, Asgard’s destruction isn’t that bad this time. Uh… I’ll just shut up.”
Rocket tried to comfort him, patting Thor’s leg awkwardly, but it only made things worse. Thor’s face darkened with even deeper sorrow.
“Hey, hey, guys,” Banner interrupted, clapping his hands in frustration. “We’re not talking about Asgard’s destruction right now! If this timeline keeps going the way it is, the Pym Particles will end up in Allens’ hands.”
The Hulk sighed. Everyone else had already traveled to the past via the Quantum Realm—only Thor and Rocket were stuck in 2023 because of Allens’ interference.
Although Banner hadn’t yet experienced the Endgame battle, Tony Stark had, just hours earlier, gained the Infinity Gauntlet’s power. Before his final act, Tony had contacted Banner using the energy of the six Infinity Stones and taught him how to modify the Quantum Shuttle’s algorithm—to calculate the chaotic quantum entanglement between past and future timelines.
Simply put: while they had already won against Thanos, the algorithm revealed an even greater threat—Allens, the Nightmare of Time and Space. He existed in previous timelines and had now returned stronger than ever.
“Allens… that bastard. I’m gonna tear him apart,” Rocket growled, eyes blazing. Among the future Avengers, Allens was known as the Nightmare of the Past and Future—an enemy destined to surpass even Thanos.
“Your mission now isn’t to collect Pym Particles,” Banner said firmly. “We’ll defeat Thanos in a few hours—that outcome is already set. What really needs to change is preventing Allens from destroying Asgard.”
Before Thor and Rocket could protest, Banner pressed the Quantum Shuttle’s activation button. In an instant, their suits shrank them down and hurled them into the Quantum Realm.
“Shit! Big green guy, I’m gonna smash your pants when I get back!” Rocket shouted, his voice echoing as their bodies were pulled into the chaos of the Quantum Dimension.
“Ugh—vomit…”
Thor, still drunk, couldn’t withstand the chaotic rules of the Quantum Realm. He vomited mid-transport, and his bile began to merge strangely with the swirling energy around them.
Suddenly, Thor’s body began to mutate wildly—turning into a tree one moment, then stone, steel, even… feces. The sight made Rocket dizzy.
“F***! What’s going on?! Damn it, Thor! I told you not to drink before entering the Quantum Realm! Looks like you triggered some kind of quantum chaos mechanism—it’s making your body fluctuate between matter states!”
Though he wasn’t a quantum physicist, Rocket was still one of the galaxy’s best engineers. Repairing spaceships or building weapons was second nature. Even so, he couldn’t make sense of what Thor was turning into.
“Oh, for shit’s sake! I can handle you turning into a tree, or stone, or even a woman—but if you turn into a literal pile of crap, I swear I’ll blast your a** myself!”
In the timeless chaos of the Quantum Realm, Rocket suddenly felt a lurch. His vision blurred—and then the stars came into focus. He and Thor shot out of a quantum rift and plummeted through space. A massive icy planet filled his view.
Boom!
Rocket slammed into a frozen surface, the impact leaving him dazed. Thor, still shifting between forms, crashed beside him with a thunderous thud.
“Damn it, Fat Man! That landing was all your fault!”
Rocket groaned, rolling off the ice. His cybernetic body had absorbed most of the damage, but he was still furious. He stood up, eyes scanning the surroundings.
“This isn’t Asgard… great. All your fault, you damn beer belly.”
He cursed under his breath, glancing toward the motionless Thor.
“Please, please, don’t be a pile of shit.”
Rocket pulled a small ray gun from his back and pointed it cautiously at Thor, muttering as he aimed.
Finally, under Rocket’s anxious gaze, the chaotic transformations on Thor’s body began to fade. The fat god’s form stabilized once more, and Rocket exhaled in relief.
“Not the worst-case scenario,” he muttered, lowering his weapon.
He trudged over to Thor and sat beside him on the frozen ground, still panting from the fall.
“Hiss… where am I?” Thor groaned, slowly opening his eyes. He blinked, squinting at Rocket. “Wait… Rocket, why are you shorter again?”
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