MarvinKnight
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Paladin of the Shield Blurb Poll
🕑 Added 2022-02-23 16:05:01 +0000 UTCI'm having a lot of trouble picking the blurb for Paladin of the Shield, so I'm recruiting help from you guys. Here are three blurbs I wrote that work reasonably well. If you've got the time, read them and let me know what you guys think is the best.
Note: A blurb is not the same as a synopsis. It isn't a summary of the story; it is a theme piece that gives readers the feeling of what kind of story they're buying.
Blurb 1:
He knows the name of his mother's killer, but can Darren's sword cut the heavens themselves?
The Prime Saint Kalaziel was responsible for the death of Darren's mother. His plot stretches across the Sacred Seas, and his minions are growing stronger with each passing day.
Darren has saved the city of Limedeep and become its king, but it is one small mote of peace in a realm on the verge of destruction. To make a difference and figure out what Kalaziel is up to, Darren must leave home to fight cultists, demons, and even the seraphim themselves.
Contains multiple love interests and doesn't fade to black.
Blurb 2:
He knows the name of his mother's killer, but can Darren's sword cut the heavens themselves?
The world outside of Hell has been good to Darren. He's made companions, saved a city, and become a king. But Prime Saint Kalaziel has a plan decades in the making, and only Darren can stand in his way. His minions grow stronger and his influence spreads ever wider.
With demons invading from below and the seraphim plotting from above, countless challenges lurk in wait for Darren and his companions.
But they'll be ready for them. Now the king of Limedeep, Darren has countless responsibilities. There's a city to run and people to manage. But Darren has better plans.
There are bandits and cultists outside the city. And beyond them, there's word of a demon invasion to the north.
When Sasha and her order of holy warriors answer the call, Darren isn't far behind them. But her quest will lead Darren straight to the seraph responsible for his mother's murder.
Will Darren face him down?
Will his sword be enough to upend schemes centuries in the making?
Will he have the strength to protect all that he's come to love on this wonderful and strange surface world?
Blurb 3
Beneath the Sacred Seas, demons are stirring.
An ancient evil rises. An army from the depths of hell comes with her.
In the heavens above, a seraph with more ambition than the heavens can contain is coming to defeat her.
The Sacred Seas have become a playground for forces beyond their power to contend with. In the war between the Heavens and the Hells, only one man can stand for humanity.
But Darren is a keen sword forged in Hell. Growing up fighting demons for as long as he could remember, he is a naked blade that cuts down all in his path. But now this paladin of the sword must become a shield to guard what he holds dear.
Now the King of Limedeep and with new friends to protect, Darren must learn to protect what he holds dear.
And he'd best learn fast, for both the heavens and the hells are whispering his name.
Comments
DiabolicalGenius
Yeah, I like three best. The first two give too much away, while the 3rd is just setting the scene. Whetting your appetite and hinting of what's to come. 2nd pretty much tells you everything that's gonna happen, 1st is better but still directly tells you this is all about Kalaziel, that he's responsible for mom's death and that he's the real big bad here, which is giving away a bit too much. That's the kind of thing you should be reading the book to find out. The 3rd's line about the Seraph with too much ambition is just right.
Person
I feel like the first two are good for someone being dropped into the story as it is now, whereas theb3rd (which I voted for) is a better introduction.
No I just read it without it it's better how you have it
Marvin
I suppose I could delete, "An ancient evil rises. An army from the depths of hell comes with her."
I like three but I'm not in love with the second line in three for some reason
