Patrefans
MarvinKnight from patreon
MarvinKnight patreon

Long Live the Emperor: Chapter 25

🕑 Added 2022-10-01 15:00:17 +0000 UTC

Comments

DiabolicalGenius

Well, that's one way to do it. It'll surely be interesting to see what it does to the final result.

Marvin

Yeah. I have thought about writing the empire building half like an entirely separate novel just like this one and then just combining the two for the final draft. I will also put all the sex in the empire building half. But there will definitely be adjustments to everything for the final version.

DiabolicalGenius

Personally I think you should have guessed it would go in the magical power direction the moment you decided to put the immediate story direction up for a vote and made it an option. Most of your readers are a progression fantasy crowd after all. The moment special powers for the male lead are dangled in front of them, they'll usually reach for it unless you have have something shinier in sight. Personally I think it's fine to meld the personal power progression with empire building side by side, though that might require you to do a balancing act. Maybe you find it easier to focus on one at a time. Still, I'm liking the way you're building up the magic system so far. The idea that Al is being handed a cheat, but is just especially talented while the monastery's spirit masters are less so and have been carried by their external props and have to depend completely on spirits alone to make things happen. We'll see where it goes. Maybe you'll make some adjustments in how it works for the final draft?

Michael Jackson

I liked it the essence idea sounds way better than generic mana you could have rock essence or different essences of fire or combine fire and rock to get magma the laser was refracted light so that could be interesting or gravity even electromagnetism think flying swords or bullets without using gunpowder, would make him a one man army

Marvin

Yeah probably. To be honest, I don't have time for the rewrite until one of my other series is done. But I wanted to get enough work down now that I have something to mull over for a few months. A lot of stuff will change for the rewrite.

Loukemia

I think you switched Mabel and Clover at one point because Mabel unbuttons Clover's pants. Clover as we all imagine probably isn't wearing any pants. I think you should start defining the magic system. At least one unbreakable rule a couple bendable ones should helpwhen you get back to rewriting it. For example the dream world is fairly mutable but manipulating an object's Dreamworld reflection takes time and effort to affect the real world. Mana feels a bit generic, considering the magic system plays with concepts/aspects/ideas the term 'essence' might work better.


More Creators