MarvinKnight
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Be a beta reader for a new series!
🕑 Added 2021-07-16 22:19:48 +0000 UTCMy hitherto unmentioned identical twin brother Marvin Knight, (who is exactly the same as me in all ways except for the fact that his name is more marketable and he did not sell his audio rights) wants to release a novel. He's been working on it for the past few months while editing the most recent Spellheart series novels.
The novel is in a completed, readable state, but he'd like to get feedback from beta readers pulled from my fan base, since he has a strong suspicion he'll be targeting the same demographic as the Spellheart series. It's a gamelit novel with stats, same as the Spellheart series. The underlying magic system is essentially cultivation, but Marvin Knight hid it very well. The series would probably be best termed progression fantasy harem with gamelit elements.
Here's the blurb:
The surface world is a strange place for a boy raised in Hell.
Darren was just a boy when he and his mother were attacked. They were betrayed by paladins from his mother’s own order and chased beneath the earth. There, with only his paladin’s sigil and his quests to guide him, Darren grew from boy to man. Born in fire and blood, hell itself sculpted the perfect paladin.
Years later, after a lifetime of fighting demons and battling a world full of nightmares and monsters, Darren finally returned to the surface. But the world above ground has just as many trials to face as hell itself, and not all of his enemies are demons.
Darren’s foes lurk in wait, and he will need all his strength to make new friends and carve out a life for himself on the world above.
Contains: Gamelit system, slow-burn multiple love interests, and one badass paladin.
I've decided to do this one through Google Docs for now. I think the ability to leave comments will get me better beta reader feedback. I also want to break people up into groups so I can send out different versions of the story to different groups.
I'm looking for help identifying:
- Unlikable Characters
- Odd phrasing
- Inconsistent character behavior or voice
- Anything that's missing or could be better fleshed out.
- Areas of confusion.
- What you DID like about the story
- Characters you found appealing and would like to see more of.
- Aspects of the world you loved/hated.
- What you're interested in seeing more of.
- General opinions on the story as a whole
- Typos and grammatical errors (though the formatting is only for the Google Docs version and so isn't as polished as it will be for the book.)
Right click my name and direct message me if you're interested in being a beta reader for the series. I'll sort you into a group and provide a link to one of the versions on Google Docs. I'm trying to get this published before Spellheart 7 goes live, so I'd like to have all the feedback I'll be working with before the end of the month.
Comments
version93
Understandable, I think other authors have mentioned having the same feelings when introducing a new book or series. But trust yourself and the process, we fans certainly do. :)
Mitchell Hall
Lets see it! Give us a look.
Michael Jackson
Don’t let it sit on your hard drive, spellheart is awesome and it’s hard to find really good series and not generic “the hero went here, he was over powered, he shagged x number of women, he battled and won “.
Marvin
I really hope the story ends up fantastic. Tbh, I'm kinda nervous to launch something new. Spellheart 1 sat on my hard drive for nearly two years before I just decided to throw it up on Amazon, not expecting much. Now that I *am* expecting people to like a new series of mine, I'm really stressed, haha.
version93
Wow, book sounds fantastic!
