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Amazon Apocalypse: Chapter 4

🕑 Added 2021-09-09 15:00:01 +0000 UTC

Comments

Lachezar

So here are my 2 cents. Story is enjoyable so far, I would recommend moving it out of the 10K worlds verse and setting up another. We already have Teo for that universe so have Carter find his own ;) :D . Also the integration with earth would feel a bit weird in the 10K universe since all worlds there were created already (be the bald guy's fried), and not integrated, Last but not least if the system integrates worlds, why wasn't the Spell Heart worlds integrated first? With all that being said, I have great expectation of this new series, and am looking forward to reading more :).

Marvin

It should be. That’s one of the things I usually fix on my second editing pass, but I didn’t do a second editing pass for this because I’m going to have to rewrite chunks of it considering the medium I’m using now. It’s a Quest so it’s going to need a development edit.

William

I’m enjoying the story so far, but one thing I’ve noticed is during narration portions you tend to switch between past and present tense which can be a bit jarring. I believe that narration is supposed to be past tense no? Also, if technology isn’t supposed to work as explained by the Amazon’s then how is it that an electric truck works when a modern gun doesn’t? Are they going through a transition period or has the system integrated technology in a way that it still works?

Marvin

I’ve had a lot of practice since writing the intro to the Spellheart series.

Marvin

I’ll let them know you’re looking out for them!

DiabolicalGenius

D&D stats huh? It's a classic. I want the male lead to be special, but I still hope that everyone else who didn't luck out into a racial switch (or who got a bad pick from it) get some options. A racial evolution or something is something that should be available for anyone who can pay the price, right? I tend to sympathise with the unlucky ones, so it bothers me a little.

David Fletcher

This is starting out better than Spellheart did as far as bringing us into the world, or the system anyways.


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