MarvinKnight
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Amazon Apocalypse 4 Rewrites: Chapter 71
🕑 Added 2024-12-15 16:00:12 +0000 UTCNote: This is completely new. This match between Carter and Myrina didn't exist in the original.
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The next morning saw the approach of the semifinals’ match. I’d hatched a plan the previous night to wear Myrina out before our battle, but I suspected Myrina had the same plan—because she was insatiable, and I was up until the wee hours of the morning before she passed out. When dawn came, she was the one waking me up.
“Today’s the day! We finally get to fight again!” Myrina said excitedly as she bounced up and down on top of me.
“What do you mean? We spar every day, Myrina.”
I groaned as I sat up. The way she landed on my groin and started bouncing excitedly up and down had a way of getting the blood flowing faster. I was up… literally and figuratively.
“Yeah, but this second time we get to do it with a proper audience! Will the evil Feisty Redhead defeat Doomblade and drag him to her lair for depraved torment?” She cackled. “Or will Doomblade defeat Feisty Redhead and punish her for her evil deeds?”
I snorted and smacked the covers. “Myrina, you drag me into your ‘lair’ and I punish you for your evil deeds nightly.” I leaned forward, kissed her, and then bucked her off my hips before scooting out of bed.
We ate, dressed, and prepared for battle together. We were still together when we got to the arena in our armor. The announcer spotted us shortly after we strode out onto the field.
“Now arriving are our last two remaining open bracket competitors! Feisty Redhead… and Doomblade! Many people here have been keen to see this fight, hoping their least favorite tournament competitor gets disqualified! But who will it be? The malicious Feisty Redhead or the devious Doomblade?”
I waved to the crowd. My item-heavy fighting style wasn’t well-liked, especially by former arena champions or those who were big fans of arena combat. My tricks made it seem like anyone with enough coin could win a match simply by picking up the right items.
To be honest, that had always been the case. The quality of the items we sold in Doomblade’s Workshop just emphasized the point a little more blatantly than people were used to.
“Doomblade!” Myrina began, giving her blade an ostentatious flourish. “You’re no match for my incredibly stylish moves! Once I defeat you, I will officially rename myself the Blade of Doom!”
I scoffed. “Unlikely… Feisty Redhead.”
At that, Myrina rushed at me, her weapon held wide. “Hyaaaaaah!” she roared a battle cry, leaping across the sand in grand strides.
I hoisted my shield and then slammed it into the ground between us. Even though she looked wide open, I knew from experience that it was a trap.
I reached to my side for two of Reluna’s talismans I had at the ready. One created a flash of sparks, and the other a gout of flame. Both were only D-Grade spells, but I wasn’t using them for their effects. I just needed to blind Myrina for a moment to get my sword into position.
Despite my best efforts, Myrina’s sword shoved my blade aside. Her hand gripped the side of my shield, forcing that aside, too. I knew I’d blinded her, but she’d guessed where my weapon would be, and her guess ended up being correct.
Already, I was on the back foot. I knew my regular toys weren’t going to cut it against Myrina. I needed to use the Lasso of Amazonian Binding, at the very least, and probably the other items as well.
Myrina threw herself against my shield, but enchanted and planted in the ground as it was, it held firm against her intense blows. Before long, she forced me to produce the lasso from my bag of holding and I tried to catch Myrina in it just like I’d caught the Draconic Amazonian.
Unfortunately, Myrina knew this trick and ducked out of the way before I could catch her. At the very least, it drove her back for a moment, so she didn’t have time to probe my defenses. My Lasso of Amazonian binding fell to the ground at her heels and was slowly covered as our rapid shuffling tossed sand over it.
Our duel slowed a moment as she spent some time feeling me out. Myrina dragged the tip of her weapon through the sand, drawing three ovals in the ground as she circled me. Any normal blade would be dull by now, but the one she wielded was my handiwork.
“You’re too slow, Doomblade! You won’t catch me like you did that big, slow-witted Amazonian!” Feisty Redhead cackled, much to the indignation of part of the crowd. The Glacia branch of the Samhain family was well-liked here, at least compared to the other major families. Then again, idiots like the Phantomfist and Darkbinding families made it easy to like the Samhain. There was no comparison.
“Pride comes before the fall, Feisty Redhead!” I taunted in reply. I was careful to shift my footing as inconspicuously as possible.
Myrina rushed me again as I taunted her, walking right over the buried lasso. I dropped my sword and went to one knee, where I knew the chord lay just beneath the sand. I grabbed it and yanked on it, trapping Myrina’s foot in the loop.
Myrina rushed right by me, dragging the lasso along with her as she circled me. It was just like the move the other Amazonian pulled, only Myrina was much faster. I spun around on one knee and then jumped back, clearing the trap before I was as thoroughly bound as Myrina.
I hoped the rope would restrain Myrina’s movements like it had the other Amazonian I’d fought, but my knots weren’t as unbreakable as I’d hoped. Myrina reached into the bag holding at her hip, pulled out the prototype knife I’d enchanted to deal with the lasso, and in one swift motion, sawed through it.
Dammit!
My rope fell to the ground, defeated by another of my own creations. And all the while, Myrina didn’t let up the pressure on me as she attacked with her sword. We clashed several more times, but at the end of it all, I was stuck back behind my shield. The current situation was untenable.
I needed to deploy more of my secret weapons.
I’d have to use the Sticky Slime of Amazonian Subjugation. The next chance I had, I withdrew it from my pouch. It looked like a round flask with a cork in it, but only because the alchemists and customers of Mucaria were accustomed to a medieval aesthetic. Inside the vial there were a series of atomizers combined with mana that allowed for easy dispersion of the unique combination of fluids.
It had taken me a lot of testing to come up with the formula for this slime. Much of it, I’d developed with Myrina’s help. The idea was hers, after all, and it was designed to be most effective against warriors with little to no mana.
The slime itself was a combination of potions I’d acquired from local alchemists. They weren’t cheap, but that wasn’t a problem, thanks to the massive budget Sakura handed me. When mixed with mana, it was a thick and viscous liquid. But when that mana dispersed, it left behind an extremely tough glue-like residue.
The principal ingredient in the potion was a magical glue artificers used. I doubted its creators ever intended the glue to be weaponized, but given an opponent without mana, it made an ingenuous and effective trap.
I tossed a Mana Bomb Myrina’s way, instantly saturating the air around her with mana so the white and sticky liquid would flow. Immediately afterwards, I detonated the Sticky Slime of Amazonian Subjugation. The glass sphere exploded in all directions as the enchantments activated, spraying their payload of slime in all directions.
I suspected Myrina would counter the attack with a Mana Bomb of her own. After all, she’d helped design the sticky slime, and she knew exactly how it worked.
“Oh no, I’ve been covered in your sticky white goo!” Myrina yelled, struggling against the rapidly hardening slime. She strained against the goopy white substance, letting it harden on her armor.
I held back a moment, expecting a trap, but Myrina seemed content to let the slime do its job. Perhaps she considered using outside knowledge of how to disable the trap cheating. Instead of freeing herself with a Mana Bomb, which I knew she had on her, she chose to cut herself free with the same enchanted dagger that had severed my lasso. That was far less efficient, and it would leave her still covered in goo for the rest of the fight.
“Give up, Feisty Redhead!” I demanded.
“Never! I bet this sort of dirty, perverted trick works on other women, but not me! Your hot, sticky goo means nothing to me!” Myrina shouted.
I winced. “Come on, don’t make this weird. We’re in public,” I sent to her over our radio connection.
“Come and get me with your big, hard sword!” Myrina shouted loud enough for the entire arena to hear.
I winced again, then realized Myrina had bought herself enough time to free her legs and one arm. Her other arm was still glued to her side, but she could move freely now.
Fighting Myrina had me on a time limit. Her legendary ability, Tempo of Battle, increased her stats the longer a fight went on. I had something similar with Soulchain Nexus, but that only worked when I was killing my enemies.
In an arena battle like this one, Myrina had a distinct advantage. My window for victory was rapidly closing. I had no choice, I had to deploy the greatest of all my secret weapons.
I turned on the vibrator built into her armor.
All of a sudden, Myrina’s bravado crumpled like wet paper. Her knees slapped together, gluing in place thanks to the sticky slime still coating her armor. From there, she fell to her knees and then onto her face with her ass in the air as she dropped her sword and clutched her crotch.
I had expected the secret vibrator to be a mild distraction at most, which was why I’d activated it at maximum power. It was just a tiny warm metal nub, but I could hear its faint hum even over the crowd’s roar. Perhaps my Mana Overload and Machine Spirit Awakening skills had pushed the little buzz-joy harder than I thought.
Abruptly, I cut off the vibrator. While this tournament in the Mucaria pocket realm was an adults-only event, the crowd had come for blood and violence, not moans and humping. I wanted to avoid making my secret weapon too obvious.
I rushed in to take advantage of Myrina’s sudden moment of vulnerability and swung the flat of my sword at her. Myrina twisted around to avoid the blow, and my sword struck her full on the rear. I didn’t think it was possible for metal on metal to make such a fleshy-sounding smack, and yet the blow echoed across the whole arena, along with an accompanying feminine moan.
The crowd seemed slow to respond, and even the announcer was momentarily at a loss for words. “Uh… folk… looks like Doomblade has discovered Feisty Redhead’s secret weakness. Maybe the evil tyrant we love to hate just needed a real man to show her who’s boss?”
“Stop making this weird, Myrina!” I hissed over the radio.
I received only a girlish giggle in reply as Myrina pushed hard and rolled over one shoulder to come to her feet, rapidly hopping away from me. I chased Myrina across the arena. Without her sword, she was much less dangerous. Doubly so, with her legs stuck together, thanks to the sticky slime—though she was surprisingly fast.
I jumped in front of her ready to give her another whack, but she turned around just in time to block the flat of my blade with her armored ass. Once again, the sound of a remarkably fleshy smack was followed by an even louder moan. With a curse, I dropped my shield and tried to clock her in the helmet with my fist.
Myrina shifted positions at the last minute, slipping my punch and rolling into me. I fell backward from the sudden blow, falling onto my rear with the Amazonian falling on top of me.
That’s when she finally pulled out a Mana Bomb and detonated it. This liquified the Sticky Slime of Amazonian Subjugation, but since Myrina was sitting on my stomach facing my feet, instead of flowing off her and into the sand, it flowed into the gap between us. The mana left the slime to harden a moment later, rapidly congealing with Myrina’s ass now firmly glued to my stomach.
I wasn’t sure what she was planning, but I’d have no more of it.
What had started as a serious fight was now a slapstick gag and my armor was as much of a mess as Myrina’s. It would take Gobgob hours to clean off our armor with all the sand now stuck between the metal plates.
I wanted no more tricks from Myrina, so to put a stop to them, I grabbed both her wrists in my hands and forced them together behind her back. Even in my Doomblade power armor, Myrina was stronger than me, but I still had an ace up my sleeve. I activated the vibrator again, and she went limp in my grasp.
Then, with her hands at the small of her back, I pulled her back firmly against me, so she was stuck to my chest, unarmed and with no way to reach her weapons or bag of holding. When I was done, she was good and helpless.
I held the position for a while longer, then lurched to my feet, where I slowly made my way over to the discarded Lasso of Amazonian binding. After a bit of fiddling and tying a new knot, I wrapped it around Myrina’s shoulder and my chest to keep her secure. Done, I turned to the nearest referee.
“Do I win yet?” I asked.
The referee shrugged. “The match isn’t over until one of you are maimed, unconsciousness, or submit.”
Myrina squirmed on my chest, and I realized my struggle wasn’t half over if I wanted her to yield.
“One second,” I told the referee.
Turning away from him, what followed was a combination of negotiations over our radio link and liberal applications of Myrina’s in-suit vibrator.
“Come on, Myrina. Don’t make me keep doing this. Isn’t this enough of an ignoble end to the infamous Feisty Redhead?” I asked her.
“O-on the contrary!” Myrina gasped, squirming on my chest. “This battle will be spoken of for generations! Just as I planned.”
“If I ever have to take this helmet off…” I groaned.
“Then everyone will know you’re a man who can handle the naughtiest of women, which will lure like-minded naughty women to your side. Then my master plan will be complete!” Myrina sounded far too excited at this prospect.
After making a few more promises to her, Myrina eventually agreed to surrender. Eventually, I turned back around to face the referee.
With a cackle, Myrina loudly announced to the entire arena, “I submit my body to my Lord’s Doomblade!”
The referee blinked twice, shrugged, then announced, “The winner is… Doomblade!”
Comments
Mark J
I as well preferred the earlier version, as others have said this is too slapstick .
Mennart Huizinga
The original ending was much better with myrina actually having some brains
Vorsayo
Now that was Myrina in all her little mischief maker glory 😂 that was freaking hilarious and exactly what I come to expect from Myrina. The same woman who wanted Carter to push her down a hill in a tire, runs up huge debts for her family to deal with and steals half of Carter’s inventory, always tries to sell dead bodies and whose definition of lawyer involves killing, beating and or capturing people. 😆 she truly is the parties mandatory chaotic good character.
Robert jacobs
While I thought this chapter was very funny. I honestly like the first version a little more, but I wished Myrna had brought Carter in on her plan so it read as more of a fun ending vs a bit of a betrayal.
Brian McDonald
This was hilarious but like what’s been said the slapstick Myrna is wearing thin the best part of this whole fight was that it made him use his toys I didn’t particularly care for his just throwing toys at Cyra it basically turned the fight into Damodar take 2 where he just threw disposable talismans at her and Carter felt contempt but now that he can make the toys it’s a fine tactic to throw at his future wife just felt cheap to me
Austin Wolf
This is totally a myrina ending with how he "beat" her for the marriage duel but don't worry too much that other ending was fine it not really a betrayal because he completed his goal and she gave him a major out to keep from catching a bad reputation if his armor came off
NovaZero
I guess? Either way it lacks catharsis which is a bigger issue. The original is a subversion - Myrina is cunning, her motive questionable but if you think about it it feels worse in its retelling. There isn't one big thing here it's a lot of little ones that build up. Like if you had to, you'd have to revise minor points in the last 20 chapters to get a conclusion where Myrina loses and Cyra is in the final. Even for an outro Myrina speaking to her mum would also have to change. Then we have the desire for Carter being free to be indirectly involved... Which directly conflicts with the fact that was a risk of him going after Cyra in the first place. Honestly, Carter introducing himself to the prince and actively contributing by say... Expanding Doomblade's armory to be the core contribution as outfitting Amazonians with that armour? Well yeah, the tourney was a good showcase there.
Hans
Maybe rewrite the chapters 70 and 71 in a way, that shows, it was planned together with Carter, that Myrina uses his armor in the final round? I mean Carters objective was completed by beating Cyra.
NovaZero
I like this version, but I get the issue - it gives up Myrina essentially, and risks the surprise for Cyra. My issue with Myrina's plan in the original is that... effectively she betrayed Carter. He's a pushover and won't take it that way, sure, but that's what she essentially did. And if Cyra hasn't figured it out, then the tone and facade that Carter intended is ruined. And.... Why, exactly? For a name? She threatened Carter's plan to satisfy her own petty need to ensure an end to a fiction that will be discarded anyway... Again why? I don't envy you the choice, for my part the original showed some cunning at least, even though the slapstick comedy that is Myrina has worn a bit thin. At this point I'd go so far as to say Myrina is actively working against the narrative and I'd wager Cyra is the way we wanted Myrina to be (without the plot to keep Carter away). Which is a shame because I thought Myrina would shape up a bit more given how someone helps dispel her Int debuff.
Julian Lachner
I like this version more
jmundt33a
I’m going to reiterate 1. This does lean into slapstick, but it matches Myrina’s personality and tactics as demonstrated in the other books. 2. The finale and epilogue seem like they’re about to set up book 5 very well. And 3. The original final match was a rage quit point. I would take slapstick over total story demolition. Happily. All that being said, Mistweaver and ArbabSB are right.
ArbabSB
This was really funny. Wonder what Cyra and Kyrina thought of that show. I agree with the others that you should pick the version you like for the final product. Whether Carter faces Cyra in the final or it's the original ending of Myrina winning the final and taking the opportunity to steal the name Doomblade for herself, I think most of us will eagerly read book 5 regardless.
jmundt33a
Excellent. Tricky, talented and sexy. And sure to make Cyra absolutely implacable tomorrow after she disposed of the Phantomfist twerp.
Justin Webb
I don't like this version its to slap stick. is this going in the book?
Mistweaver
So this was funny. In keeping with Myrina’s personality. Though, I did like her stealing the Doomblade name. Thank you so much for being responsive to your reader’s comments! It was much more than I expected, as I was only expecting some minor edits, if any. Please don’t rewrite again. Pick a version you like and go with it. You’ll never please everyone.
SiI3nt
Insert Woody's laugh from toy story
jmundt33a
Capitalize Binding in paragraph starting “Unfortunately,” Usually it’s Pride goes before the fall. However, this could be a nice tip-off on his last move. Exploded is fine by itself. You should only use in all directions once in that sentence. The second instance is better. I assume “Uh folks…” is JB struggling to commentate the action.
Zachary Johnson
I'll be honest... I feel like this is too much. It's still a great chapter but I liked how the other ending felt. And the way myrina stole his identity so she could be the one with the cool name felt more true to her character to me
jmundt33a
Um, isn’t Jerk Buffer supposed to wave a flag to begin the match. Seems like we went right from pre-fight banter to maximum. I’m glad JB didn’t declare them both disqualified for fighting “before the bell.”
