Hastum
patreon
57. Your consciousness
🕑 Added 2025-08-30 10:49:07 +0000 UTC“The god I serve is different from other gods. Much like the contract I have with it, it is unique. But what sets us apart is that if I ever gain any Faith in my god, that means I’m losing my mind.”
“What… do you mean?” Ophelia looked at me, concern clear in her eyes.
“The gods normal people believe in are the gods of this world. They live in planes connected to ours. But the god I have a contract with is one of the higher gods, the gods of the universe, gods that dwell in the Abyss just beyond all existence. They are deities of madness, chaos, and entropy. If I ever start understanding them on a spiritual level, that’s usually the first step toward madness.”
“You pray to gods of madness and entropy?” she asked, eyebrows raised.
“I don’t pray to them. My contract is a simple gamble. Each time I either use it to call upon their magic or sacrifice something for knowledge, I basically gamble against my god. If I die due to it, I will become a slave to them as I join Eldritch entities in servitude. If I don't die, then I get to cast some powerful magic and keep what I learned. But the knowledge I get is fully mine, not a separate part of my soul.”
Ophelia tilted her head at me, trying to understand what I was saying, then looked back down at my sheet with renewed interest, searching it for anything she’d missed.
“Okay… what are the other stats? Manifestation? Soul?” she asked, pointing.
“Soul is the strength of your spirit, like how Endurance defines how well your body holds up. For purely spiritual beings, it also defines their mana capacity, kind of like Constitution for us. Manifestation is also an attribute for spiritual beings that measures how powerful their physical forms are and how much mana they need to take those forms.”
“Then why is it on a sheet for humans?”
“It’s for summoners and people with familiars. It measures the power of their summons. And before you ask, yes, you do have one. It’s just that I don’t know how to check it with basic fortune‑telling.”
“Okay.” She sounded a little deflated.
“Don’t worry. I’ll take you to a fortune teller soon.”
“And the social stats?”
“Charisma is obvious. Pressure is the opposite of Charisma, it’s like negative Charisma. Your natural ability to inspire fear and command through it. Empathy is just empathy, but for mana. As I mentioned, artists who create magical pieces rely on it. And Passion is to emotional casting what Willpower is to normal spellcasting. It’s how you activate mana through feeling rather than conscious effort.”
Ophelia nodded, studying the sheet again. “Okay… and the skills?”
“Skills are just that, things you’ve learned, ability to control mana, mind, ambient mana, and so on. Some are trained, while others come with bloodlines. You probably already have a few tied to your familiar. The catch is you either have to know what to check for, or be good enough with tarot to let the cards show you what you have.”
“Okay. That’s a lot to take in.” Ophelia winced slightly.
“Feeling a bit overwhelmed?”
“Yeah. More than a bit, honestly.”
I could only imagine getting thrown into a new world like that.
“Well, that was a lot of condensed knowledge. You’ll get a feel for it as you go.”
“So what do I do now? Train Willpower? Meditate? Pray?”
Praying would actually be a good idea if not for one thing. “Do you know any prayers to your god?”
“Riiight, none at all. I don’t even know anything about the deity I serve.” She gave a short laugh at the absurdity.
“Well, I’m not sure who your god is, but we learned its titles. We can do research later.” I nodded toward a few bookshelves in the storage room.
“So what now?”
“Now you meditate. First, you need two skills. One, Authority Over Mind, lets you move your consciousness like a separate limb, even push it outside your body, and sense other people’s auras. The other is plain Spell Casting, moving your own mana. Once you learn to move your mind, you should be able to start accessing your god’s gifts consciously.”
Ophelia straightened a little.
“First, you have to understand that the brain is just the physical part of the mind. There’s a whole spiritual structure, much more complex than your gray matter. Picture it as a palace, rooms and corridors for functions and memories. A massive, labyrinthine mansion floating on a lake. That lake is emotion. When you’re calm, the water is still and navigation is easy. When you panic or fear, waves rise, the palace shakes, and it gets hard to move through. Push it too far out of balance and you can lose consciousness, or even permanently injure the mind.”
“And I need the Authority Over Mind skill to navigate it?”
“Yes,” I confirmed.
“Can you give me like a map or something? Is everyone’s palace the same, or do we all get different ones?”
I smiled at the thought of getting a map for the mind palace.
“Different, but with recurring themes. We all have a ‘wing’ for motor control, one for memory, and so on.”
Ophelia stopped noting and looked up at me. “So if I injure the motor cortex in the brain, does the palace’s motor wing collapse too?”
“You were a med student, huh?” I chuckled. “Interestingly, no. The palace stays mostly the same. Think of it like a transmitter still broadcasting, but the receiver is damaged.”
“So, can you move your body through will alone? If you strengthen the transmitter? Like, if someone’s brain healed over time and they trained the mind and then—”
“Yes.” I cut off the theory. “It’s possible. You can do a lot through mind alone.”
“But that could cure disabilities!” she shouted, excited. “People could walk again. How has no one ever taught this publicly?”
“We can’t talk about anything related to magic in the mundane world. And not everyone can move their mind. Usually, some magic talent is needed.”
“Yes, but that would change the world, it couldn’t be that bad, why can’t–”
“We can’t." I cut her off. "We don’t have time for a history lesson, Ophelia, so take me at my word for now. Once you understand mana and what a mage can do, I’ll explain. For now, just trust me. There’s a reason.”
“But… it’s just some meditation, right?”
“Meditation that opens a whole new world. Look, the last time the mortal world got involved it caused a disaster. Leave that thought for now.”
Ophelia nodded, though not happily. I considered switching this lesson into a history lecture, but without a foundation in gods and magic, it’d be a mess.
“Okay, back to the mind. Like I said, it’s a complicated palace. Some structures you’ll want to defend in a fight. Others you must avoid. First, you’ll learn to push your consciousness out, then to perceive your own emotions, basically, take a dip in your own sea of consciousness.”
I got up and dug a cube out of the clutter. “This will help you train moving your mind.”
I sat back down across from Ophelia and handed her the cube. It was heavy, made from metal, and etched with runes.
“First, trace an activation rune in the air,” I said, slowly drawing the pattern.
Ophelia followed my finger with hers. After a few corrections, she got it. I saw the surprise on her face as a bit of magic flowed from her. Because she wasn’t yet in control of it, catching her frequency was easy. I attuned the crystal inside the cube to her mana and gave it back.
“This is a training cube. It’s attuned to your mana, so you should feel it instinctively. Close your eyes,” I said, moving the cube to her right.
“I think… I think it’s moving, to my Right? Now left?” Ophelia said after some hesitation.
“Good.” I nodded. “There are runes written inside the cube in mana‑conductive ink. If you focus on the cube and push part of your awareness out and into it, you should be able to read them. They’re simple shapes. It shouldn’t be hard once you get the hang of it.”
I rotated the cube to show another face. “These are turning runes. When you succeed, cover one with your finger, that will push the crystal slightly out of attunement to your mana. Then repeat until you can read the inner runes with every attunement rune blocked.”
I handed it back. She studied it curiously.
“And how do I push myself out of my body?”
“You don’t, that’s astral projection, and you’re nowhere near that yet. What you’re learning is Authority Over Mind. How to describe it…” I thought a moment. “Think of your consciousness as a shapeless limb, one you can extend inside and outside your body. If you’ve never felt your own mind before, going inward is unnatural. So we go outward first. The cube’s attunement makes it easier. You have a target you can sense, not see, outside yourself.”
“And how far can I extend it?”
“A few centimeters from the body is easy. Beyond that, you’ll need to learn to push mana into the projection so your consciousness holds shape outside you. It’s like adding bone into your hand.”
“Okay,” she said, eyes glued to the cube as she turned it. “And how do I extend my mind?”
“Like sensing your familiar. Once you catch the feeling and its location, you can repeat it.”
I put my hands in front of my solar plexus. “Set the cube here. Close your eyes.” I waited for her to follow my instructions. “For now, forget the cube. Forget everything else. Think of yourself as a mirror that only reflects what it senses. And just like the mirror’s nature doesn’t change because of the image shown in its surface, you also only reflect. Don’t let what’s reflected change you, your mood, or thoughts.”
Ophelia corrected her sitting posture, and I continued guiding the meditation. “Now focus on your breath. See it reflected in your consciousness.” I gave her time. Her breathing steadied. “Now add other sensations. Your back against the chair, cloth against skin, let all of it be reflected.” Another pause. “You should feel something else, in front of the rest. A warmth radiating, pulsing in a familiar rhythm. That’s the cube. Unlike the other sensations, it slips away when you focus on it. Try to get closer.”
She sank deep, brow furrowing now and then, nose scrunching. Feeling something that’s you yet outside you is strange.
I slowly got up not to break her concentration. Seeing she was deep in meditation, I went towards the shelves standing to the side. I then rummaged through one of the massive bookshelves. She needed some basic knowledge.
Wizards started with basics of magic, but she was a warlock, so maybe spiritual beings should be the starting point, and then magic. I stood in front of the shelves trying to pick the right tomes.
After about half an hour with two books in my hands, I turned back to my apprentice. I could see sweat beading on her forehead.
“Ophelia,” I said softly. No response.
“Ophelia!” I half‑shouted.
Still nothing.
I sighed. It happened in deep meditation, but losing that much situational sense was dangerous.
I approached her and lifted the books high before dropping them onto the desk right in front of her.
She jerked awake, grabbed her head, and winced.
“You shouldn’t lose that much track of reality unless you’re in a meditation chamber. Jerking awake like that hurts, huh?”
“You don’t say,” she grumbled.
“Consciousness is like a muscle. You’ll feel some fatigue after using it. In the meantime, I brought you some light reading,” I said, smiling.
Ophelia looked from the two massive leather‑bound tomes to me like I’d lost it.
“Light?”
“You should see the Pnakotic Manuscripts.” I grinned at her confusion. “These are the Testament of Solomon and Grimorium Verum. Both come from the Solomonic tradition. Don’t worry, they’re English translations of the purely technical sections. The originals are in Arcane, so you couldn’t read them anyway. Grimorium Verum’s a later work by Alibeck the Egyptian, still based on Solomon’s writings, so it’s good.”
“Wait. King Solomon? You have original works of King Solomon?” Ophelia stared, mouth open.
“Yes. We had an entire collection of his works, but most were lost thanks to the god‑damned Inquisition, may they never find peace. But I do have originals of Ars Paulina, Ars Almadel, and Ars Notoria from Salomon's lesser key.” I pointed toward one of the old coffers. “I would kill for Ars Goetia though,” I murmured to myself.
She just stared at me in silence.
“Anyway, these are in English and contain no working spells or rituals. Treat them as basics on spirits and sacred beings. When you get tired, relax by reading.”
“Relax?”
“Yes. Relax.”
“...Riiight.”
“I think the full Sigil of Lucifer is still somewhere in Grimorium Verum, so don’t try to memorize it. And if you start having dreams about a black tree with six burning branches, then tell me.”
Ophelia just groaned.
