Brokenzen
patreon
Additional Stuff, Assets, A story of me breaking down.
🕑 Added 2020-11-01 04:11:51 +0000 UTCSo this build... went through 5 different iterations. None of which I liked. And its definitely not 'done', but after you feel so much pressure to perform you just throw out what you have.
Opening One. At first, it was just the same opening as before. Ash in a bath tub. But then I read another few 'I'm going to continue to support this, but I haven't seen the plugs mentioned in a while." comments. Which lead to opening 2.
Opening Two. Ash wakes up chained naked with a fetish outfit and a chastity belt and plugs float to her and attach. She wanders a maze and moans and is generally just bland dialogue sexy. I hated it, but I was making what I thought people were clamoring for. People wanted plugs. That wasn't what the game was supposed to be about. Its SUPPOSED to be a story about real characters who have interactions and learn to accept their fetishes as part of who they are. But I had snapped, and was in a dark place.
Opening three. I really hated myself. I couldn't do it. The whole reason I started making games in the first place was because I still liked fetish but I wanted to make fetish that meant something to me. This whole game started as my way of hopefully recovering from the gnawing growing hate I had for everything kinky and what my life had become. So opening three was a tender dream reunion between Haily and Ash and dived into their backstory. About how Ash felt crushed by the world and became a camgirl to try and make ends meet, and Haily saved her from an attempt of self harm. Then someone sent me a link to a forum where the game build was shared.
Opening four. That forum was chock full of random comments just like what I had written for Ash in the camgirl image. I twisted inside, and thought 'All I will ever create, all anyone will ever care about is sex'. So Opening four. What was it? Opening four was more lewd. Ash just getting screwed with seed everywhere. I drew it, hated it, cried through drawing it, and kept hating it. I don't like fetish for sex. I like fetish for the psychology behind it. I like fetish because the tender love of a relationship between a Dom and a Sub can be something special. My aunt had just died, I was driven daily to exhaustion working. So I snapped twice in one month. Behind on literally every bill, and so much stress that is still present in my life. I've worked on this game for over a year now and I thought that none of it mattered unless it was about sex. What was I wasting my time on? It started to kill me inside. Like really make me consider just quitting and doing something harmful to myself. Were it not for a select very small group of people who were there for me? I may very well would have.
Opening 5. Still a thing in progress. I gave people what they wanted. There are plugs. I also did what would make me happy. I made it real and I made it so Ash's backstory and her pain worked into being exploited and made to feel like a cheap sex object like that. Once its done, she'll go through a maze as she navigates and the player learns of the problems that caused her to feel so mixed about and worthless about herself. Her backstory will be, at least in broad strokes, explained, and then the world of Edgt will open so she can hopefully start to heal and accept herself.
Or maybe it'll just be about sex.
Either way. Thank you for being patient with me. These last two months have been a hard trip for me. I'll be working on commission work at first since I'm bordering on things in my life getting shut off. For patreon followers of the 20 and 50$ tier, you have new rewards coming in 3d character models of your characters. For lower tiers, you still have new rewards coming too. Gonna shake things up, and press forward.
Cheers.
Comments
Reaper121
Glad others have the same opinion. I started supporting you because of your art and ideas with this game. we have a saying in germany that goes: your last shirt has no pockets" meaning you wont take anything material with you when you die. Money is nothing but troublesome, but finishing the game you imagined in the first place is everything. I mean that was the reason you switched the engine right?! because it was not as good as you have wished for. Don´t throw away your vision for some trolls please. There are many poeple which will support you no matter what.
Seranata
I'm not the best with words, but I love the goals you've had and the vision you've had for your project - it's yours, that's part of what makes it special. So many of us are here supporting you because we want to see you succeed, enjoy what you do, and grow this project into something wonderful that you can be proud of. We're here to support you, your own vision. Your original story was wonderful and amazing and I'd love to see your care and creativity in the new builds, too! But don't push yourself to the point of breaking - you gotta take care of yourself, and I can't speak for everybody, but I at least, and I'd imagine most everyone else pledging, aren't going anywhere. We won't abandon you if you have to take time to yourself to recuperate and relax and recover.
Don't usually comment on Patreon but I've been following your posts for a while now. It's a rough strange world at the moment but I'm glad to see you're fighting through it. Myself and I'm sure many others that follow you love your art-style and your story writing. Keep doing what makes you happy and the passion for the work you do will shine through. Everyone has their own opinions and interests and it is absolutely impossible to please them all. I know anonymous comments on the internet can get overwhelming but at the end of the day those of us who follow and support you for YOUR art and YOUR story will still be here, it may not be much in financial support at the moment as times are hard on us all but we will keep subscribing as long as you do what you love no matter how long it takes for updates to come out. Make sure you have good people to talk to outside of your work and don't burn yourself out. You got this.
Reaper121
I was expecting and kinda hoping the new build would turn out to be the same story as your previous game with rpgmaker but with better graphics and mechanict. I loved your story, it was awesome and i wished you would have stayed with your first idea. you already have created so much content so why not integrate it in your new version game. Also i somehow can not escape the dungeon in openind 1.2.
Flashfire3477
Hang in there. I know when it comes to kinky, fetishy things, a lot of people just want to see what gets them off. A friend is a furry artist and he's constantly trying to avoid being stuck in that realm of an artist who is just expected to draw smutty things for people to pleasure themselves to. While that's fun, I totally understand the want to have a good story behind things, to make it more than just sex and kink for the sake of sex and kink. If you want it as part of it, that's great. If someone decides not to support this because it doesn't have what they're after, so be it. I'm still very interested in the world-building and seeing where things go, even if, yes, I like the fetishy sides for what they are. The artwork has always been a lot of fun to look at.
