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Uma Musume Pretty Derby: To The Basement [264]
🕑 Added 2025-10-25 07:10:20 +0000 UTCBack to the present moment.
“Kekeke—Hey there, pretty ladies~ Wanna join big bro for a drink?”
Mizuno hunched forward, palms rubbing together in the most stereotypically sleazy way imaginable, his voice a raspy imitation of some late-night street thug.
If any random guy actually approached girls like this, he’d instantly be branded a creep—someone you’d cross the street to avoid, or text your friends to come rescue you from.
And that was exactly the effect Mizuno wanted. His plan was simple: act like a disgusting pervert, scare Daiwa Scarlet and Vodka, and just when panic set in, Gold Ship would appear in full “mysterious gentleman” mode to rescue them.
Two birds, one stone—Gold Ship would embody both the “hero” Vodka dreamed of and the “gentleman” Daiwa Scarlet adored. Their wishes would be fulfilled, Mizuno’s mission completed. Perfect.
“Kekeke—” Pleased with his genius, Mizuno’s villainous laughter deepened.
Unfortunately, reality had other ideas.
“?” Daiwa Scarlet and Vodka blinked in unison, confusion written all over their faces.
They simply stared at him—at his hunched posture, twitching hands, and exaggerated grin—as if trying to decode what kind of performance this was supposed to be.
After all, they already knew Mizuno. Agnes Tachyon-senpai and Tanino Gimlet-senpai—both people they trusted completely—had personally introduced him. Anyone vouched for by those two had to be reliable.
Plus, Mizuno had promised to help them find their mysterious gentleman. That alone had earned him full trust points.
So instead of “stranger danger,” what they saw now was… an acquaintance suddenly pretending to be a weirdo for no apparent reason.
His “villain” act, while visually accurate, had absolutely zero menace. To them, he looked more like a lost puppy cosplaying as a wolf.
“…” Both Uma Musume went silent, simply watching him.
The sheer focus of their gaze made Mizuno’s scalp prickle. “Uh… aren’t you two gonna react?”
“React?” they echoed blankly.
“Yeah! Like—scream, or get scared, or something?”
“Scared?” Vodka repeated, tilting her head.
“Exactly! I’m a creepy old man trying to lure you two to a bar! Kekeke—” He rubbed his palms again for effect.
But instead of fear, Daiwa Scarlet’s eyes sparkled.
“Eh?! A bar?!” She suddenly leaned forward, practically bouncing with excitement.
“Where? Are we going with Gimlet-senpai too?!”
“Uh… this…” Mizuno froze.
“So~ when are we going? Right now?” Scarlet pressed eagerly, gripping his sleeve before he could retreat.
“Gwah!” Mizuno stiffened, instinctively leaning back. Normally, if an Uma Musume got this close, he’d already be calculating escape routes—but no. He was acting. Professionals don’t break character.
He took a steadying breath. “…You sure you wanna come? I might slip something strange into your drinks…”
“Eh?! Strange drugs?!” Vodka’s ears shot up, her disinterest vanishing.
“Does that mean Tachyon-senpai’s coming too?!” she exclaimed, grabbing his other sleeve. “Take me too, take me too—I wanna see what happens!”
And just like that, Mizuno was surrounded on both sides by two overexcited Uma Musume clinging to him.
“Guh…” His body stiffened. This was not how the scene was supposed to go.
Instead of being scared, they were begging him to take them drinking.
This wasn’t a “villain encounter”—this was a field trip.
“Hey, hey, heyyy~!”
“Gwah!” Mizuno panicked completely, slapping the Bluetooth headset in his ear. “Broshi! Help! My pervert plan’s a total failure!”
Through the binoculars 500 meters away, Gold Ship watched the chaotic scene unfold and sighed.
As expected. Her instincts had been dead-on—Mizuno-dono couldn’t play a villain to save his life. He’d gone in to scare two Uma Musume and ended up being chased by them instead.
But even though Mizuno was calling for help, Gold Ship stayed put.
First, he wasn’t in any real danger; the girls were just enthusiastically pestering him. Second, if she charged in now, it’d flip the narrative—she’d look like the villain attacking the heroines.
No, she had to wait until the “villain” (Mizuno) actually felt like a threat before making her dramatic entrance.
Still, watching Mizuno flounder was painful. She decided to give him some remote coaching.
“Mizuno-dono,” she said through the earpiece, “you gotta act way more perverted! Otherwise, no girl’s gonna take you seriously!”
“More perverted?!” Mizuno hissed back. “How?!”
“Simple verbal threats won’t cut it. You need action!”
“Action?! What kind?”
“The holy trinity of perverts: grope, kiss, tell dirty jokes! If you’re not close friends, that combo’s foolproof!”
“Hah?!” Mizuno’s voice cracked. “Broshi, if I tried that, they’d kill me before you even got here!”
“Got any better ideas, then?”
Mizuno thought hard for a second. Then, inspiration struck.
“Broshi, how about tickling their feet?”
“…Is that even something a pervert does?”
“Totally! Touching a girl’s foot isn’t gentlemanly at all! As the saying goes, ‘A man’s head and a woman’s foot must never be touched.’ Feet are super sensitive—it’s definitely perverted!”
“Hmm… I guess? But aren’t you afraid they’ll kick you across the plaza? I know I would.”
“No worries,” Mizuno said confidently. “Even if they kick me once, I should survive!”
“…Alright, fine. But don’t overdo it,” Gold Ship sighed.
“Got it!”
Determined, Mizuno turned back toward the girls and flashed what he hoped was an evil grin.
“Kekeke—I can take you two drinking, but… I’ll need a little payment first.”
“Payment?” They blinked.
“Yep~” He gestured to the fountain. “Sit there and take off your shoes. I’ll tell you what I want after that.”
“Oh, okay!” Daiwa Scarlet and Vodka said in perfect sync. Trusting their “reliable friend,” they obediently sat on the fountain’s edge and slipped off their shoes.
“Kekeke—” Mizuno crouched between them, taking each of their stocking-clad feet gently into his hands.
“Eh?!” Before they could react, he began his “attack.”
“Eeeek~!” Both girls twitched and gasped, surprised laughter spilling from their lips as the sensation hit.
But from 500 meters away, Gold Ship’s binoculars trembled in her hands.
“Mizuno-dono!” she shouted through the headset. “Didn’t you say you were gonna tickle them?! Why does it look like you’re giving them a foot massage?!”
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T/N: bro doesnt have a single villian bone in their body
This is a fan translation of 赛马娘，从入门到地下室 by EEEEE然后亮标 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!
